I could use some help/advice/questions answered + the 411

[ZhenXBear]

Okay,

 

So I've never hired an escort/companion before, but I've reached the point where I'm willing to consider this. It's been over 3 years, since the demise of my 7+ year relationship and I have nearly forgotten what it's like to cuddle with someone. I think this would be a great way for me to "put myself out there" without feeling overly vulnerable, as I wake up from a long slumber. I'm a genuine, down-to-Earth, respectful, caring, midwestern-raised, healthcare professional, and this is all new to me.

 

True to form, I've done a lot of reading and researching about the industry, so that I could be somewhat informed. I've admired many guys at a distance over the years, but have only once had the nerve to contact them and get their rates. They were very pleasant, informative and respectful, telling me to get back in touch with them if I chose to move forward, but I never did.

 

I know that I'm not the type of person who would be comfortable meeting someone for a couple of hours, but would really need to form some sort bond with them. Like perhaps a dinner date and some cuddling/kissing and then see where things go. I guess I'm looking for the "boyfriend experience" and the option for continued companionship.

 

That being said, I'm kinda self conscious about the weight I've gained over the last few years. I'm finally motivated enough to work on this, but the person would have to be understanding. Do you mention in your correspondence that you're a "big boy"? I'm not unattractive, but still I have no idea about this part. I tend to like the leaner, "Grant Gustin" 20-30'somethings, so definitely attracted to the anti-me

 

 

All said and done, I looked through the ads on the popular websites and came up with a few selections for the Bay Area and am willing to consider your recommendations. Thanks in advance for your consideration (ranked in no particular order):

 

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=436825&iid=491473&scid=147898998&sp=2&pos=40&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=586927&iid=509871&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=17&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=573795&iid=505406&scid=147898998&sp=3&pos=58&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=376801&iid=446625&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=6&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://rentmen.com/AaronBlock

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=293266&Login=LanceEastman

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=292219&Login=BrandonVega

[+ WmClarke]

I have never mentioned my weight and it's never been an issue. Maybe I'm just lucky, but any good escort is probably not going to care--or at least won't show that it bothers him.

 

So, I would not mention it, unless it's some sort of extreme mobility/health issue.

[+ Funguy]

I would agree with what WmClarke says but, on first contact, try to give the escort as much info as possible (and comfortable): age, how long would you like the appointment for, anything special you are looking for (as you stated above), would it be in call or outcall (for the escort). If size really is a problem for YOU, then mention you are a big boy as you said. That way you know it's out there. Most escorts who are worthwhile will take it all in stride.

 

Also important is to be all scrubbed, squeaky clean, hair combed, have impeccable hygiene and a great big smile on your face. Then you will be on your way!

[Epigonos]

ZhenXBear welcome to the site and possibly to the fraternity of guys who hire escorts.

 

Over ten years of hiring escorts I have found that you can NEVER provide, the escort you intend to hire with, too much information. I am 74 and when hiring a new guy I ALWAYS mention my age. Some escorts do have a problem with older guys and by mentioning my age I avoid any embarrassment later.

 

In checking out the guys you are interested in I see that they are all quite young. For your first go around you might want to consider a somewhat older more experienced escort. With an older more experienced, well reviewed escorts you can explain exactly what you are looking for in your get together and he will most likely have provided that type of service before.

 

Whatever you decide to do relax, good luck and most important of all plan on HAVING FUN.

[RyanDean]

I would agree that experienced/professional guys will not have an issue with your appearance. That said, I have found that it does ease my nerves to casually mention that I'm overweight. (An honest but euphemistic tag like "pleasant looking guy carrying a few extra pounds" helps me to feel like everything's on the table & I'm not springing any surprises on the guy.)

 

I might also encourage you to plan for a "first date" kind of session (of 2-3 hours), perhaps with some mutual massage (clothed or unclothed), rather than diving in for an extended boyfriend-experience overnight or weekend. And maybe pitch your age-preference a bit to include some of the more experienced gents.

 

From your list, though, the reviews of Andrew and Lance suggest either might be a good bet.

[loverboy95]

Zhen, welcome to the forum! One thing I want to emphasize in looking for escorts is to make sure that they state they are "Always safe" and use a condom every time. I won't hire someone unless I know they believe in safe sex.

[tsgarp]

Nice collection, I must say. You have terrific taste.

[wisconsinguy]

ZhenXBear, Welcome!!! When I read your post, it was me in the not so distant past. The only difference is that it sounds like you had a guy/guy relationship at one time. Forum friends were very helpful in answering my fears and questions. I took ALL their advice in order to forge ahead with my decisions. I also spent months researching. The only thing I digressed from was timing. My first encounter was for an extended weekend. Other then my choice of gentlemen, it was the best decision I made. Stayed with both decisions for over a year. PM anytime. From one healthcare professional, midwesterner, to another, welcome! WG2

[+ bigjoey]

Welcome to a great adventure!

 

I suggest you try an "experienced" and well review escort to begin. Those guys have seen it all and with their experience can be a great guide as you ease back into the physical world of sexual experiences. The great escorts know how to handle someone like you and just be honest with what you are looking to occur during the meeting. They will put you at ease and you will think you are reborn.

 

As long as you are clean and treat the escort well, they will not mind a few extra pounds.

 

Enjoy! And remember to write a review after your experience.

[TruHart1]

Welcome to the forum, ZhenXBear. Just like Epigonos and RyanDean, I let each new escort I contact know upfront that I am older and overweight. This puts my mind at ease and gives the escort the option of telling me if that might be a problem for them. I’m happy to say that in 5 years of hiring almost 50 different escorts, this issue has NEVER been an issue for any of my hires, ever! Every escort I’ve hired has made it quite clear that weight and/or age is not important to them so I doubt you would even need to say anything about it before your first meeting with them unless you want to.

 

The first time I hired, I was scared to death, sure I would do something wrong or I would just be repulsive to the escort. I should not have been so worried. I enjoyed myself so much (and that first escort of mine was, and still is, gorgeous, sexy and hot!) that I’ve never stopped enjoying this “hobby” since that first tentative experience!

 

Just remember to relax and enjoy yourself!

 

TruHart1

[down_to_business]

There is some disagreement on this topic the last time we discussed it. Some will tell you to disclose everything and others (like me) say the best of the best escorts can find something to like in every one of their clients.

 

I would say if you feel better disclosing then disclose. Try to avoid escorts that advertise how selective they are in their clients or ones are overly focused on your stats or insist that you send them a photograph of yourself.

[+ newatthis]

Lots of good advice already. I have nothing to add except to compliment you on your taste!

[namchebaz]

ZhenX,

 

Welcome. Although your first time hiring seems like a big deal, you're going to be pleasantly surprised with how easy all this is, how readily you'll be accepted, and what a great time you'll have. When I started hiring, I was about 80 pounds overweight -- likely a lot more than you! I'm happy to report that I'm now within about 15 pounds of my goal weight. But even when I was heavier, my weight was never an issue. At all. I felt more confident that the encounter would go well if I told the escort that I was overweight, so I usually did that. I was assured every time that it wouldn't be an issue, and it wasn't. I don't think they expect you to disclose that, but if it makes you feel better as you're getting started, then go for it. In my experience most escorts seem to respond well to someone who is repectful, truly appreciates what they do, recognizes that they aren't just sex machines, and cares about their experience as well. That seems to go a lot farther than having a body as hot as theirs.

 

Of the escorts you listed above, I have experience with only one -- Andrew Maroc. If you like his pictures, you will like him even more in person. He's smart, funny, worldly, weight it not an issue for him at all, and he'll make you feel very comfortable at dinner and then be open to whatever unfolds with you which is what it sounds like you need. He excels at cuddling/kissing. And lots of other things. I can't recommend him highly enough.

 

One other suggestion -- consider hiring men who have multiple positive reviews at the review section of Daddy's site for your first few times. That is as close as you can come to a guarantee that you'll have a good experience. Andrew definitely fills that bill. And don't be shy about telling them exactly what you want out of the experience. You'll be surprised at how much they'll want to deliver exactly what you need.

 

Good luck, relax, and enjoy the ride!

[wisconsinguy]

Welcome to the forum, ZhenXBear. Just like Epigonos and RyanDean, I let each new escort I contact know upfront that I am older and overweight. This puts my mind at ease and gives the escort the option of telling me if that might be a problem for them. I’m happy to say that in 5 years of hiring almost 50 different escorts, this issue has NEVER been an issue for any of my hires, ever! Every escort I’ve hired has made it quite clear that weight and/or age is not important to them so I doubt you would even need to say anything about it before your first meeting with them unless you want to.

 

The first time I hired, I was scared to death, sure I would do something wrong or I would just be repulsive to the escort. I should not have been so worried. I enjoyed myself so much (and that first escort of mine was, and still is, gorgeous, sexy and hot!) that I’ve never stopped enjoying this “hobby” since that first tentative experience!

 

Just remember to relax and enjoy yourself!

 

TruHart1

I so agree with TruHart1. Wise info... the hardest best is to relax and enjoy. But, once the person I chose walked through, all the anxiety I felt went out the window. Followed by passion and friendship.

[+ azdr0710]

don't talk too fast!....makes you look nervous!......

[+ dutchmuch]

Wonder if John Baker is real:

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=586927&iid=509871&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=17&locid=1400&type=escort

[+ Gar1eth]

If you are only say 10 to 15 pounds overweight, then I wouldn't sweat it. If like me you have to get the Executive Cut Suits (formerly called 'portly' until we 'portly' guys got tired of being called 'portly') then I'd probably let them know ahead of time especially as you seem to like the younger ones who are not going to have as much experience.

 

Also as this is your 1st time, I agree with earlier posts about hiring someone experienced rather than someone without much of a track record. Andrew Maroc has excellent reviews. I'd seriously think about him. Lance Eastman has some good reviews too, and he is cute. But I really like more muscular guys-so that's just my opinion.

 

If by any chance you like older guys-there was a thread on porn star Mike Gaite last week. He lives in the San Jose area. His ad on M4RN says he likes older guys. And his reviews seem to go along with that. Plus he has an official okey-dokey as a good guy from one of the most respected members of the Forum, Okliehomo.

 

http://daddysreviews.com/cruise/newest/mike_gaite_sanjose

 

I had looked at the escort sites for about 6 years before my first hire. Even though it's been awhile for you, you at least had had a relationship. At the time I hired I was a total virgin. I had never even French-kissed anyone -male or female. So at least that is one less hurdle for you.

 

Good Luck in whomever you do decide to hire and know that we are are pulling for you to have a great 1st experience.

 

Gman

[Nvr2Thick]

I know that I'm not the type of person who would be comfortable meeting someone for a couple of hours, but would really need to form some sort bond with them. Like perhaps a dinner date and some cuddling/kissing and then see where things go. I guess I'm looking for the "boyfriend experience" and the option for continued companionship.

 

Please forgive me if I'm reading too much into this. There are bonds and there are bonds. I could be wrong, but you might be setting out to find a boyfriend substitute and not a BFE. You may find that the escorts you seek out don't give you the satisfaction you seek because it goes beyond what an escort provides. Worse, you could be setting yourself up for a frustrating or painful attachment to someone who, by design, is not going to share your feelings. As vulnerable as you are right now you should make sure that you're using escort experiences to feel better about yourself and life in general, not as a replacement for what you miss.

[bigvalboy]

Wonder if John Baker is real:

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=586927&iid=509871&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=17&locid=1400&type=escort

 

He's real, and the real deal....

[tyro]

Welcome ZXB!

Hiring is great!

T

[BaronArtz]

I am glad to see you are receiving so much useful feedback ZXB. I would not think that being 'overweight' is automatically a 'negative'. Why should it be? Some guys really are into chubby daddy types! Being fun, upbeat and considerate in your approach will get you a much better reception than having the perfect six-pack with a nasty or condescending attitude ... I would not be so defensive about it. Yet, I am firmly in the camp that you should drop a hint about your weight issues but just do it in a fun way. It is better to be discouraged (by some) early on, rather than to meet somebody who doesn't want to go through with the appointment for some reason - although I suspect that it is rare.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Okay,

 

So I've never hired an escort/companion before, but I've reached the point where I'm willing to consider this. It's been over 3 years, since the demise of my 7+ year relationship and I have nearly forgotten what it's like to cuddle with someone. I think this would be a great way for me to "put myself out there" without feeling overly vulnerable, as I wake up from a long slumber. I'm a genuine, down-to-Earth, respectful, caring, midwestern-raised, healthcare professional, and this is all new to me.

 

True to form, I've done a lot of reading and researching about the industry, so that I could be somewhat informed. I've admired many guys at a distance over the years, but have only once had the nerve to contact them and get their rates. They were very pleasant, informative and respectful, telling me to get back in touch with them if I chose to move forward, but I never did.

 

I know that I'm not the type of person who would be comfortable meeting someone for a couple of hours, but would really need to form some sort bond with them. Like perhaps a dinner date and some cuddling/kissing and then see where things go. I guess I'm looking for the "boyfriend experience" and the option for continued companionship.

 

That being said, I'm kinda self conscious about the weight I've gained over the last few years. I'm finally motivated enough to work on this, but the person would have to be understanding. Do you mention in your correspondence that you're a "big boy"? I'm not unattractive, but still I have no idea about this part. I tend to like the leaner, "Grant Gustin" 20-30'somethings, so definitely attracted to the anti-me

 

 

All said and done, I looked through the ads on the popular websites and came up with a few selections for the Bay Area and am willing to consider your recommendations. Thanks in advance for your consideration (ranked in no particular order):

 

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=436825&iid=491473&scid=147898998&sp=2&pos=40&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=586927&iid=509871&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=17&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=573795&iid=505406&scid=147898998&sp=3&pos=58&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=376801&iid=446625&scid=147898998&sp=1&pos=6&locid=1400&type=escort

 

http://rentmen.com/AaronBlock

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=293266&Login=LanceEastman

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=292219&Login=BrandonVega

 

Your size should be irrelevant unless it directly affects your ability to engage in an activity that you want to try. Most escorts are just looking for someone fun to be with.

[LookingAround]

But please do NOT assume that when an escort says "Always Safe" in his ad, that means he always plays safe. I just posted in another thread about the number of guys who say "Always Safe" in their ads, but who either currently do or have previously done BB porn or who have asked me at the beginning of our session whether or not I want them to use a condom. Just assume everyone else is positive and behave accordingly. You'd be better off playing completely safe with someone who advertises as "Anything Goes" rather than letting your guard down and not being completely safe with someone who advertises as "Always Safe".

 

Totally right. As I have mentioned before, there is a very well known escort who says "always safe" who bb'd my buddy and came while topping him. Two other "always safe" guys wanted me to bb them. Its a bit scary how much stock some people seem to place on the "always safe" part of a RB ad.

[+ Funguy]

Totally right. As I have mentioned before, there is a very well known escort who says "always safe" who bb'd my buddy and came while topping him. Two other "always safe" guys wanted me to bb them. Its a bit scary how much stock some people seem to place on the "always safe" part of a RB ad.

 

That being said, Zhen, if you go on the ad you posted for Aaron Block and check the video he posted, it is bareback.

Like many people have recommended, for your first experience in a very long time, go with a well-reviewed guy. They are in abundance in your area, all types and ages, but they are reviewed.

[adriano46]

Also important is to be all scrubbed, squeaky clean, hair combed, have impeccable hygiene and a great big smile on your face. Then you will be on your way!

 

Many excellent and professional escorts have dealt with men of girth, and when the client is - as funguy so wisely states - scrubbed clean, with impeccable hygiene, a clean mouth and a neat appearance - you would be surprised how well the professional escort can respond.