Compulsive Gambler Here

[Guest mondo]

Well, this is the first time I have ever mentioned this here or anywhere. I cannot stop gambling and for the third time in as many months have lost every penny I have.

 

I usually gamble about 1,500 per month which is still way too high but the last 3 months I have lost well over 6,000. So once again I wait for my month end check, look around for something to sell so I can go play some more. It always seems as if one more time is all I need to make back the money I lost this month.

 

I think I might be self-destructing. Between my gambling problem and as I mentioned in another thread my fuck up with the only young twink around who actually seems to like me.

 

Even though I know that my gambling addiction is a huge problem that has cost me my home (a few years ago) and my furniture and art collection I have no interest in any formal help. I think I have finally learned and probably can stop completely now.

 

Now if I can just make it right with the twink so I have someone to hold again.

[Guest mondo]

Well, this is the first time I have ever mentioned this here or anywhere. I cannot stop gambling and for the third time in as many months have lost every penny I have.

 

I usually gamble about 1,500 per month which is still way too high but the last 3 months I have lost well over 6,000. So once again I wait for my month end check, look around for something to sell so I can go play some more. It always seems as if one more time is all I need to make back the money I lost this month.

 

I think I might be self-destructing. Between my gambling problem and as I mentioned in another thread my fuck up with the only young twink around who actually seems to like me.

 

Even though I know that my gambling addiction is a huge problem that has cost me my home (a few years ago) and my furniture and art collection I have no interest in any formal help. I think I have finally learned and probably can stop completely now.

 

Now if I can just make it right with the twink so I have someone to hold again.

[bluenix]

I once witnessed a compulsive gambler in the throes of her addiction.

 

It was about 4am in Las Vegas, and this middle-aged woman was standing at the cashier's cage with five or six credit cards spread out in front of her. The cashier was just returning to tell her that, no, this one would not authorize a cash advance either.

 

The woman was a wreck. Her hands were shaking. She kept touching the credit cards, saying, "I know one of these still has something left."

 

So sad.

[Guest mondo]

bluenix that woman is me too. I have max'd every credit card I have, several havebeen cancelled. Even tonight I was trying to get a cash advance on my ATM/Debit card even though I knew there was no money left in my account. Sometimes if you catch it right after midnight you can trick the computers and it will dispense up to 200. but not tonight. As I surf around the Internet right now I am applying for cash advance adnpay day advance loans. If I can get one approved I will be back at the casino tomorrow trying to at least salvage some of my money.

 

I also have a TV that might get me about 200. and possibly can find someone to buy it tomorrow at the laundry mat. Other than this I bascially have nothing left of value at the moment. I think Monday I can get a pay advance loan from Cash America, I haven'tburned them yet. Plus I can hit a few grocery stores and try to float a few checks by buying something small then getting up to 50. at each store cash back from the check. Believe me I am thinking of everything, but that might not be a good idea, I just don't know.

[ted]

>I think I might be self-destructing. Between my gambling

>problem and as I mentioned in another thread my fuck up with

>the only young twink around who actually seems to like me.

>

>Even though I know that my gambling addiction is a huge

>problem that has cost me my home (a few years ago) and my

>furniture and art collection I have no interest in any formal

>help. I think I have finally learned and probably can stop

>completely now.

>

>Now if I can just make it right with the twink so I have

>someone to hold again.

 

You are self destructing and if you won't see a professional please at least call Gamblers Anonymous. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ It is there to help and you really do need some help

[KY_TOP]

In your original thread you said you thought you could stop now. But here you truly show your disperation. Take Ted's advice, get help.

Good Luck.

[bigguyinpasadena]

Mondo.I mean what I am about to say with genuine concern-I am not flaming you.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!

No twink in the world is going to fix you-no Jackpot is large enough to satisify your gambling debts/desires.

Get yourself into therepy RIGHT NOW !!!!

You have lost one home-sounds like you are on your way of losing anouther.

Do you steal from work?Don't say no!Say not yet!

Do you really want to explain to your family why you lost yet anouther job.Or why you are in jail and need to be bailed out?

STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Coming to this board looking for sympathy/help?You are kidding right?

Get yourself to a Gamblers Anonomous meeting TODAY.

Do you have health insurance? Guess what?You are going to call yor Doctor and ask for a refference to a shrink MONDAY MORNING.

DO YOU WANT TO LIVE ON THE STREETS LIKE A BUM ?Because pal that is where this is leading.

You never have to gamble again,period.

[duke37]

I hope you take the advice of ted and others. If you can't do that call a friend. Call someone. Do anything that you can think of that will keep you from gambling today.

 

Tomorrow you can worry about then.

 

Obviously you want help otherwise you wouldn't have talked about it here on the message center. I believe there is help out there for you and I hope you take it.

 

Check your mailbox.

 

Jeff

[guptasa1]

Hey there - your post and honesty is very brave, but I have to agree with some of the others here that you need professional help before you lose what little you have left. I know that's much easier to say than do (I'm the "I don't need a psychiatrist now or ever." type myself...I hope if I ever got desperate enough I'd have the sense to go to one.)

 

I have an addictive personality myself (for example, I'm going to really have to watch escorting and space things out enough...it's probably good that I'm away from major escorting centers and can only do it occasionally - as long as I get some good income coming in, I should do alright at this point, but I have to watch it). I also had a pretty severe addiction to, of all things, phone psychics for a long time, and I stupidly lost a LOT then (it was after a breakup with my first boyfriend, and I was looking for hope anywhere ["He'll be back."], even if false I guess - after enough false promises and disappointments, I FINALLY for the most woke up).

 

The point I'm trying to make is you're not alone in getting addicted to things, be it gambling, drugs, psychics, escorts, or anything else, and people do get addicted to silly things out of desperation and hope. Your situation is VERY serious though, and you need help NOW before you have nothing. Please get some.

[Guest mondo]

Guys thanks for the encouragement. I checked out the GA site that Ted mentioned. The program really isn't for me but I did fail their 20 question test so maybe I can look for another type of problem solving program. Here were my answers not too bad but still not a passing number and I did answer honestly.

 

TWENTY QUESTIONS

Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?

NO

 

Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?

YES

Did gambling affect your reputation?

NO

Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?

YES ONE IN A WHILE

Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?

YES FAIRLY OFTEN

Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?

NO

After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?

YES

After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?

YES ALMOST ALWAYS

Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?

YES

Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?

YES FROM MY 401K BUT FROM NOTHING ELSE

Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?

YES

Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?

ALWAYS

Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?

NO

Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?

NOT REALLY

Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?

MAYBE NOT SURE

Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT NEVER HAVE OR WILL DO IT NOT MY STYLE.

Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

A FEW TIMES

Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?

NOT SURE

Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?

YES

Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?

NO

 

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.

[Paul Revere]

Mondo;

 

Don't dismiss the GA site ot of hand. Give it a try. Go to a meeting. It is more useful and powerful if you can connect with others who share the same problem. Talking to others who shre the problem can be very powerful, checking a website may not be enough. And I know, you're not a joiner. But go, and talk to some others who share the same issues. It may enlighten and srprise you.

 

I don't even know you, and I don't believe half of your "No" answers to the twenty questions.

 

By posting this thread, you are starting to ask for help. That is a good first step, just try not to reject the help that is out there before you give it a try.

[OneFinger]

I certainly don't mean to pry but is your gambling: 1) in a casino; 2) on the internet; or 3) both?

 

I don't gamble often in a casino but I do enjoy the environment. It's real entertainment for me to interact with the dealers, watch the reaction of others at the table, and generally people watch.

 

But, lately, I've also enjoyed internet gambling. Haven't yet tried betting with "real" money but certainly enjoy betting and winning with non-real money.

 

Could this be a money-saving alternative for you? I've literally gone through thousands of non-real dollars on the internet and am greatful I wasn't betting with my own cash. Perhaps if your addiction is truly gambling (and not just the thrill of a casino) some on-line non-cash stuff might help.

[bigguyinpasadena]

So Mondo,ready to give up on a way out of this before you even investigate it huh?

So-what is for you?Jail?Homlessness?More shame and emberrasment?Having to worry- constantly worry -about how bills etc. are going to get paid.All the lies you are telling yourself and others-that shit will kill you.

Fear is a great motivator-it is also a great inhibitor.

GO TO A FUCKING GA MEETING TODAY-OR STOP WHINING !!!

[Bilbo]

Mondo, please don't try to do anything to gamble today. Please sleep on the answers that you gave to that test. Then reevaluate them and see if you haven't forgotten something which might change your score. Such as, do I remember correctly that you were a featured model in a porn magazine? If so, is it truely possible that you haven't considered escorting? While most of us here, IMHO, feel that escorting should not be illegal, it is true that at the moment, it is. Illegal activity isn't just theft and violence, ya know.

[Guest Merlin]

I suggest you try hypnotherapy. It may be able to help you see the truth, which that you are not going to win your money back, and if you did, you would keep gampbling until you lost it again. Hynosis works very well and quickly for some tryes of compulsions.

[marc anthony]

>Mondo, please don't try to do anything to gamble today.

>Please sleep on the answers that you gave to that test. Then

>reevaluate them and see if you haven't forgotten something

>which might change your score.

 

HMMMM... actually, unless I am counting wrong, Mondo already answered "yes" or some form of "yes" to 12 out of the 20 questions. Since according to him, 7 is the cut off for being compulsive, not sure how much more re-evaluating of his score is needed.

[ready182]

Gambling is a form of entertainment - that costs money ...

 

Think of gambling as a form of entertainment -- one which costs money. For example, if you go to a movie or out to dinner or to a show, it costs you money.

 

In almost every form of gambling, the odds are stacked against you (sometimes by a narrow margin -- other times by a significant margin). Therefore, mathematically, when you gamble, you pay. Yes, you may win money on a given day. But if you continue to play, YOU WILL LOSE. If and only if you understand this, and you enjoy gambling, then by all means treat yourself to a trip to your favorite casino for some fun and excitement.

 

To further illustrate, if you stick to a single game, which has set odds, you can mathematically predict your losses over a period of plays. Let's say, you play your State lottery pick-3 once a day, every day, Mon thru Sun. You play $1.00 per day, and if you win, the lottery pays a $500 prize. If you did this for 5 years, statistically, your net loss (including money spent and money won) would be estimated at $912.50. As another example, let's say you enjoy playing a Dollar Slot Machine that is setup for an 80% payout (20% edge for the casino). Statistically, every time you pull the handle you lose 20 cents (that you never win back).

 

In case you still don't get it, here's a final example. You and a friend deside to gamble on the "fair" flip of a coin. Every time the coin comes up "heads", you win $1.00 from your friend. But if it comes up "tails", you have to pay your friend $1.25. Rest assured, the longer you play this game, the more money your friend will have. This last simple example is exactly analogous to what you're doing when you gamble with a bookie (the house edge is in the vig, or for parley's/etc in the combinational probability odds vs. payout odds), a casino, or worst of all most State lotteries.

 

Bottom line: Gambling COSTs money!

[Huey]

I am someone who enjoyed playing at the cardrooms when I was in So California. It can be quite addicting and there were times when I had to remind myself to stay within my limits.

 

Mondo it sounds as if you need a detox version from gambling instead of drugs . Others have suggested a form of support through GA. If that isn't right for you then build a support network with friends or even family.

 

As you see from all of these "stranger" responses people do care and you probably will find people around you, who you know well, that will care as much if not more .

 

Good Luck to you!

[Guest mondo]

Hey Guys, Obviously I was feeling pretty low when I made this post. Anyway, I appreciate all of the support both posted here and sent to my inbox in the message center. I will be taking steps to ween myself off this addiction.

[bigguyinpasadena]

Guys,this is one of the reasons I have problems getting involved with any one who has an addictive personality disorder.It is always chicken or feathers as a friend says,I call it having to wear high boots.

One minute they are sobbing on your shoulder about how they SHOULD REALLY stop this behavior(and you can put what you like here-booze,drugs,lying,drama, are the ones I have had to deal with)and the next day it is all"gee I guess things are not that bad-sorry if I was a little dramatic yesterday"

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT-well you get my point.

Mondo,you have a fucking problem that is not going to be solved with the new dawn.Even if you got a temporary fix-it is VERY temporary,and will solve none of the problems that put you in a bind in the first place.Now BE A MAN and GROW SOME BALLS-stop lying to us and to yourself.Get into a therapy program be it GA or something else.

There is no "weening"involved here-you just stop-period.No funny little plans or pledges.That does not work.

Report back here WHEN you have taken some positive steps to get help with your problem-Best of luck-this is not something you can do on your own.

[VaHawk]

I'm sure you mean well and I know it can be frustrating trying to deal with someone who is addicted to something whether that's gambling, drugs or alcohol. But yelling and insulting others for that addiction really doesn't help. No problem can be conquered until the person first admits that he has a problem and that is probably the hardest step to do.

 

Not everyone can quit "cold turkey" as you suggest. For example, many heroin addicts do indeed benefit from being weaned via the use of methodone.

 

GA like AA and NA just does not work for everyone, and even these programs have a high recidivism rate. I think they work only for those who are able to replace their addiction with the addiction of these meetings, which are a lifetime commitment that not everyone is capable of committing to.

 

IMO, as suggested earlier, it may be time for those who know Mondo personally to convene an intervention, in order to at least get him to try GA, but as I said, I don't think even interventions work until the addict can make that first step to admitting he has a problem.

 

You may as well do yourself a favor and stop yelling your insults at him, as they really aren't helping, despite their good intentions. Stick with the compassion of your original response as obviously even though he can't yet take that whole first step, he at least took half of that first step and maybe the next time, with more encouragement he'll make that first step.

[bigguyinpasadena]

Hawk,I was giving the fella a dose of tough love-he needs some right now-dealing with any kind of addicts in denial is so difficult-I deal with it a lot.The kinder softer aproach is what this fella will find after he quits beating himself up. Addicts suffer from a wierd fixation wherein they think of themselves of the biggest little shits in the world,lots of grandiose ego-all the while filled with self hatred.

AA,NA,GA etc are not "lifetime"commitments.People who assume this before investigating these programs are oftened frightned off by this.

As you all have heard before"ONE DAY AT A TIME"is one of the main mottos of these groups.If you take it day by day,it can be done.Millions of folks have thrown of the yokes of their addictions through these programs-and they are the most widly regarded self help groups out there.So while I am being hard on this fella,it is to slap him into the reality he needs to face.

Having lived in Las Vegas,the human tragedy that fills that town will make any compassionate soul take a very firm position when dealing with compulsive gamblers.

[Guest coololdguy]

Every active member of AA or GA will tell you there was a time when they were convinced "it wasn't for me". GA is for you. Go to a couple of meetings and I promise, you will meet yourself. Please go. It may save your life.

[+ glutes]

coololdguy, you ARE cool!

[Guest]

>Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?

>YES FROM MY 401K BUT FROM NOTHING ELSE

 

Who are you kidding? You just admitted to maxing out your credit cards, and even taking loans against your future paychecks? How can it get any worse? You don't have a house to get a home equity loan from anymore, and I doubt you can get an unsecured line of credit. You've not only ruined your present, but you're ruining your future as well.

 

 

>Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or

>your family?

>NO

 

Ahhh... If borrowing from your 401K and losing your home and posessions isn't being careless of your welfare (and your family, if you have one), then Osama Bin Laden is the President of the United States. If your original posting is for real, you've really screwed up your life (and those of your loved ones if you have any), and bankruptcy will only help if you're willing to get serious about your addiction. How could it be any worse?