Guys in the ladies' room

[+ FreshFluff]

So I have no problem with everyone using the restroom appropriate to the gender with which he/she identifies. But how do you feel about non-TG men using the ladies' room or vice versa?

 

A year ago during Pride, I walked into the ladies' restroom and saw a woman and a guy near the sink. The guy, named Daniel, was probably not what gay men call "masc," but he clearly identified as a male. He stayed there for a while, because he was freaking out over how his skin was getting shiny in the heat and was asking people for poweder. Finally, he found someone who had some, and he thanked her by doing her makeup. (He's apparently a professional makeup artist.) ''

 

I encountered the same thing a few months later, on Halloween in a different city. Again, the guy was with female friends and was clearly camping it up.

 

Both times, I was a bit surprised when I saw a guy in the ladies' room, but I didn't really mind. I enjoyed talking to both guys, and neither went into the stall area. But I did wonder about what would happen if this became the norm. If everyone, regardless of gender identification, is allowed to use either restroom, some bad people around bound to take advantage of it.

 

So I ask you, gentle reader: Would you go into the ladies' room if you were with women friends, and would it bother you if a woman came into the men's room with her male friends?

 

(This wouldn't be an issue if establishments built completely enclosed stalls, but let's leave that aside here. For the purpose of this thread, let's assume we're talking about a typical set up with separate men's and ladies' rooms and stalls with partial walls.)

[tom1980]

I've seen women in the men's restroom several times. It usually happens at crowded events like sports games when the line for the ladies' is very long, so a couple of women every now and then use the men's stalls instead.

 

The only time I've seen it happen outside of that setting was at one of my favorite upscale restaurants. I entered the restroom as another guy was leaving. As I walked up to the urinal, I started hearing some moans from the stall. Around the time I finished my business and started zipping up, the stall door opened, and an attractive young lady walked out. She was quite surprised to see me and blushed terrifically. Apparently the couple thought they had the room to themselves when the guy left as I was entering. Ever since then, I've had a fantasy about getting a blow job in the bathroom.

[+ purplekow]

If you want to have a blow job in the bathroom, Prime in Philadelphia has a great bathroom with stalls with doors and a lot of room in each of the stalls. Of course if you want to be seen getting a BJ in the bathroom, any restroom will do.

[Epigonos]

I think we are rapidly approaching the day when separate Men's and Women's Restrooms will be a thing of the past. Urinals will disappear and restrooms will have cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling.

[+ azdr0710]

So I ask you, gentle reader: Would you go into the ladies' room if you were with women friends, and would it bother you if a woman came into the men's room with her male friends?

 

 

I don't really camp it up at Pride events (have never even been to one) and have no plans to ever enter a ladies' room, with or without other lady friends....

 

and I don't care at all if a lady (or woman?) comes into the men's room....would be pretty cool, actually, that she doesn't care about protocol and all that....I suppose some women would like to be escorted by a man into the men's room.....as mentioned by Tom, women entering the men's room is notoriously famous at busy events

[Frankly Rich]

In Asia, it seems common to encounter female attendants, so you just go with the flow, so to speak. In general though, I prefer single sex rest rooms, unless it is a sole unit that accommodates only one person at a time. I don't know how many times I have seen Dads bring their daughters into the men's room. After all, he couldn't take them to the women's room, could he?

[+ FreshFluff]

I don't really camp it up at Pride events (have never even been to one) and have no plans to ever enter a ladies' room, with or without other lady friends...

 

It wasn't a Pride event, just a restaurant near the parade route. And Azdr, I have no idea what you look like, but based on your posts, I can't picture you camping it up at all.

 

I've entered single-occupant men's rooms when the ladies' room was occupied for a long time. (It's kind of silly to specify genders on restrooms like that anyway.) I also remember entering an empty multi-stall men's room while another woman stood guard outside and then stood guard for her. Not sure what I would have said if a guy had come by wanting to use the men's room!

 

I think we are rapidly approaching the day when separate Men's and Women's Restrooms will be a thing of the past. Urinals will disappear and restrooms will have cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling.

 

I already know of 2 restaurants that have that setup. Another two have separate stall areas for men and women but a common vanity/sink area.

[nate_sf]

In college twice I lived in dorms that had co-ed floors, including co-ed bathrooms (once was in the US, the other in Europe during junior year). There were stalls around the toilets and showers, so there was a basic amount of privacy. Took some getting used to, but eventually it just became normal.

 

The US dorm had originally been built single-sex with urinals on alternating floors. They didn't bother to remove the urinals when the dorms went co-ed, so although most guys used the toilet stalls, every now and then a bold (or drunk) guy would use a urinal without regard to who else was in the bathroom.

 

Did anyone else experience co-ed dorms in college? I never knew whether this was common or unusual.

[+ FreshFluff]

Thanks, Nate. This makes the topic much richer!

 

 

Did anyone else experience co-ed dorms in college? I never knew whether this was common or unusual.

 

Not at my school. Depending on the arrangement, bathrooms were either per suite or per floor, but always single sex. Until a few years ago, men and women weren't even allowed to room together. (Men and women could sleep over at each others' rooms, but they couldn't actually live together.) Those who violated the rule were reportedly threatened with expulsion.

 

On the upside, the rule probably gave generations of gay men and lesbian students a rare opportunity to spend significant time with their lovers.

[Steven_Draker]

I already know of 2 restaurants that have that setup.

 

This restaurant will save you the trip to the bathroom.

 

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2014-05-09-HuffPo_toiletrestaurant_3.jpeg

 

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/09/article-2416133-1BB70C97000005DC-363_634x425.jpg

[+ quoththeraven]

Like FreshFluff, I've used single-occupant men's rooms when it wasn't clear when the ladies' room would be free. I think I've also dashed into a multi-stall men's room when it was empty with someone else there to warn or wave away unsuspecting men. Since I was in a stall, the men at the urinals aren't really an issue for me, but my presence might be a problem for them. I'd hate to be responsible for some guy's shy bladder.

 

Nate_sf: One of the dorm complexes at the college I attended (this was in the mid-70s) had co-ed floors and co-ed bathrooms. (Other dorm complexes had other configurations ranging from co-ed floors but no co-ed bathrooms to neither.) I don't remember if those bathrooms had urinals -- I was only in one once, IIRC -- but it had individual shower stalls. In law school, I briefly lived in a dorm with a locker-room type open shower area that could only be separated into "stalls" by curtains on a track. That was not enough for me as a privacy measure even though it was a single-sex floor.

 

There already are mixed-gender family/handicapped restrooms in public places (also potentially useful for transgender people) like highway rest stops and malls. I'm with Frankly Rich in wanting the option of single sex rest rooms unless it is a sole unit that accommodates only one person at a time. What effect will shared bathrooms have on standards of hygiene and cleanliness? I've heard things that go both ways -- that public women's rooms are far messier than men's rooms, but conversely the men's room at work was reportedly far messier than the women's room.

 

I've been in restrooms with cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling, or come close, and I don't like them. Not only are they claustrophobic, they're much harder to light well -- not helpful for some circumstances that inevitably arise while using the bathroom, and they've all had louvered doors (presumably for lighting purposes), which look pretentious and would make me uncomfortable in a unisex situation. Such cubicles also feel like they take up more room, although I don't know if that's true. And I'm dubious that men are prepared to deal with stalls equipped with places to discard used sanitary pads and tampons. If we're going to move to unisex bathrooms (which have their own problems, mostly the possibility of enabling assaults and harassment that wouldn't happen in the absence of unisex bathrooms), I'd rather take my chances with traditional stalls for everyone.

 

A common vanity/sink area with separate wings for toilet stalls/urinals addresses some of my concerns, but it would need to have a vanity area separate from the sinks. Even then, there's the risk of inhibiting banter and interactions based on shared gender identity, i.e. "letting one's hair down" in the knowledge that people of the opposite gender won't see, interfere, or judge. Tbh, the bathroom is one place where I don't object to segregation by gender. Shared bathrooms are particularly problematic in an office environment, although I could see it being useful in obtaining proof of sex discrimination or other juicy gossip as a result of overheard conversations.

[AdamSmith]

At Escuelita in NYC there is, labeled as such, a men's room and a women's room. But both sexes routinely use both restrooms when the place gets crowded. Whether for excretion, drugs, or sex. As this is simply the norm there, I quickly found it entirely comfortable. Including using the urinals in the men's room when women were in line for a stall. Perhaps just goes to show the power of situational conditioning.

 

Adding to the circus was the occasional notice of a beautiful woman standing at the next urinal, having lost patience with waiting for a stall, and turning out to be a pre-op TS.

[tanman4u]

A couple of years ago I was dashing between flights iin MIA and headed into the men's room only to be confronted by a woman guarding the door because "my friend is inside since the women's line is too long". I normally would probably have politely waited but I'd had several cocktails and was facing a tight connection so I told her that her frind had probably seen one before, went around her, and proceeded to the urinal. I don't suffer fom shy bladder but at that point I don't think it would have mattered.

[bigvalboy]

I remember decades ago the first time I saw a women come into the men's room. It was in WEHO and when she entered I turned and looked at her. I must have had that WTF look on my face because she looked back and said, "Get over it"....I laughed, and have gotten over it ever since. Most small restaurants are Unisex and I routinely see women going into the men's room at clubs, since the line for the women's side is usually long. I have even ducked into a women's restroom when the men's side is full and waiting was not an option. While I still prefer to have designated restrooms for each sex, I understand things happen, and going with the flow is easier than making an issue it.

[Steven_Draker]

I've been in restrooms with cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling, or come close, and I don't like them.

 

If you happen to travel overseas you'll notice that most public bathrooms (male and female) are with cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling and have a real door (with no gap underneath).

 

The first time I saw a public bathroom with large gaps between the stalls was on my very first trip to the USA.

 

http://www.nickypapers.com/images/bathroom-stall.jpg

[+ quoththeraven]

If you happen to travel overseas you'll notice that most public bathrooms (male and female) are with cubicles that extend from floor to ceiling and have a real door (with no gap underneath).

 

The first time I saw a public bathroom with large gaps between the stalls was on my very first trip to the USA.

 

Talk about culture shock. How are bathrooms elsewhere lit? (And I assume the doors aren't louvred.) It seems to me like it's possible for them to be well-lit but that the light might glare as a consequence.

[AdamSmith]

[+ poolboy48220]

I've used the single-occupant restrooms without regard to whether they are marked men or women, and I got thoroughly dressed down by an employee once for it.

[+ FreshFluff]

Talk about culture shock. How are bathrooms elsewhere lit? (And I assume the doors aren't louvred.) It seems to me like it's possible for them to be well-lit but that the light might glare as a consequence.

 

A light on the ceiling in each stall? That's what I see in similar setups here. I don't think people care too much about the quality of the lighting in that situation, as long as the important stuff is visible.

[+ purplekow]

How many here recall Ally McBeal and the office bathroom was unisex and very frequently the setting for some of the funniest scenes. Later in the series, the bathroom was found to have a secret room off of it, which could be reached only by flushing one of the toilets and doing some other maneuvers. The characters on the show were initially shy about the sharing but soon it was just normal daily activity.

[Steven_Draker]

Single-occupant and "well-lit" restroom

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qYcukz6T4L8/S_P2Rn1PUOI/AAAAAAAAAF8/yuh9P2js2xs/s1600/open.public+toilet.jpg

[+ SundayZip]

I'll use the women's restroom at airports and petro filling stations when the men's is closed for cleaning. At the airport, I sort of ask first -- something like, "Hello! Does anybody mind if I come in?" If there's no objections, I walk right into a stall and do my business. It's funny how little ol' blue haired ladies get all freaked out when they see me exit. But who cares.