What flipped your switch?

[wisconsinguy]

What was the impetus that led you, as a client, to make the final move to hire an escort? It's hard to believe it was simply a matter of, "oh, it's something I always wanted to do." LOL. Now that I have solidified my upcoming first time appointment, I very much can pinpoint the circumstances regarding my move.

[+ azdr0710]

time was flying by.....

 

finally figured out life is too short to always live by the goddamn rules.....

 

now or never....

 

"gee, I can really meet up with that great-looking dude in (Daddy's Reviews)?"

-realization, December, 2001

[bigvalboy]

Well I started hiring at 17. So for me my situation is a little different. I was living a solid hours drive out in the burbs. Very quiet, and very homophobic in those days, so for a 17 year old who could not get into bars or bath houses (immensely popular in those days)

and with hormones raging, I picked up a local gay magazine, The Frontier....and I was off a running. I really met some incredible guys early on. I think I speak for many of us hear when I say that we are pulling for you on your first hire.

[tyro]

After not having sex with my husband (or anyone else) for years, I had to do something. A West Coast escort referred me to a bi friend of his.

And the rest is history.

T

[leigh.bess.toad]

What was the impetus that led you, as a client, to make the final move to hire an escort? It's hard to believe it was simply a matter of, "oh, it's something I always wanted to do." LOL. Now that I have solidified my upcoming first time appointment, I very much can pinpoint the circumstances regarding my move.

 

Others here know my story, but I doubt you do. In June of 2010, my psychiatrist and psychologist gave me a choice: commit myself to the psych ward or they would involuntarily commit me. Because they knew (because I told them) I was probably was within days of killing myself I was so depressed. In retrospect it was the best thing to ever happen in my life. I had suppressed my sexuality so far, I hadn't even thought about dealing with being a married gay man But while I was in the psych ward, I met one of the other patients and an enormous light switch went off. One of the other patients was a lesbian. And she talked about how much she missed her wife. And it was the first time I'd ever heard a gay person refer to their partner as husband or wife. Thinking about it made me realize that probably the biggest cause of my depression was my unhappiness with being a gay man and not admitting it. I'd known I was gay all my life, but due to family pressures, I conformed, and got married. And tried to ignore that part of my life for almost 30 years. Until then. That's when I figured out that I really needed to start addressing it. I started thinking about it. And shortly after I got out, I remembered a website that talked about male escorts I had come across years ago. Daddy's. And so I came here. I lurked at first. But by the end of August I jumped into the forum. I didn't know what to do, how to do it, what to expect. I was terrified beyond words. But I formed friendships here with clients who helped me, gave me advice of what to do, what to look for, how to talk with the escorts. They put me in contact with their best escorts. And by the end of October, I was ready. I had been talking with one of the escorts for a while here. And he was coming to DC, near my home town at the end of October. And I knew I had to jump in. There was no going back. I couldn't stand the thought of going back in that closet, of being so depressed I was close to killing myself. And so I arranged an overnight with him.

 

As fate would have it though, he wasn't my first escort. Four days before we were to meet, another escort I was interested in was in DC. And another friend here was a client of his and put me in touch with him. And so I dove feet first into hiring. Two hires within one week. After never having sex with a man for 15-20 years.

 

3 weeks after my first hire, I came out to my wife, and the rest, as they say, is history.

[wisconsinguy]

Well I started hiring at 17. So for me my situation is a little different. I was living a solid hours drive out in the burbs. Very quiet, and very homophobic in those days, so for a 17 year old who could not get into bars or bath houses (immensely popular in those days)

and with hormones raging, I picked up a local gay magazine, The Frontier....and I was off a running. I really met some incredible guys early on. I think I speak for many of us hear when I say that we are pulling for you on your first hire.

Thank you very much. It is both beyond appreciated, yet hard for me to take in words of encouragement and caring. My profession has been meeting the need of other clients, and then coming home and meeting the need of my family. So having a group that in my head I know cares, I'm still trying to make my heart follow suit. Maybe I should start a blog?1? I maybe taking up a lot of airspace. Rand

[leigh.bess.toad]

Thank you very much. It is both beyond appreciated, yet hard for me to take in words of encouragement and caring. My profession has been meeting the need of other clients, and then coming home and meeting the need of my family. So having a group that in my head I know cares, I'm still trying to make my heart follow suit. Maybe I should start a blog?1? I maybe taking up a lot of airspace. Rand

 

Trust me when I say this place is special, especially dealing with guys like you. And me. Because there are a lot of us who have been in your boat. There are still a lot of us in there. Some of us have swam to shore, but we have friends there. And so yes, there are many, many, many of us not only rooting for you, but reliving our past, taking these trips down our own memory lanes. Remembering what it was like for us when we were where you are now.

[+ purplekow]

My wife had died. Dating women was a bore and inevitable comparisons to my wife always came to me. I had always had an interest in a very specific kind of man an for my 50th birthday I located such a guy on the internet. Nervous and guilt ridden I met him at a hotel. I hired my first escort, fucked my first ass, sucked my first dick. And two days later, I did it all over again, minus the guilt.

[TruHart1]

What was the impetus that led you, as a client, to make the final move to hire an escort? It's hard to believe it was simply a matter of, "oh, it's something I always wanted to do." LOL. Now that I have solidified my upcoming first time appointment, I very much can pinpoint the circumstances regarding my move.

 

I have to admit, I was never very comfortable in gay pick-up bars when in my 20’s and 30’s. My self-esteem has always been quite low. Through my 40’s and early 50’s, online AOL chatrooms made it easy to find interested guys, most of whom were married to women but starved for man-to-man sex. I thought if they were married, there would be no unwanted emotional attachments! I was certainly wrong about that!

 

I had been reading reviews on the internet about porn star escorts for many years and although reviews of Jason Branch and his then lover Blake Harper made for very hot reading material, I knew that I could never afford an experience with someone as professional and beautiful as anyone like them on my limited budget. Yet, I was always intrigued by the fact that these reviews portrayed not a sleazy wham bam experience with a dirty, disease-ridden male hustler, but a boyfriend-like experience with men I found super-hot and desirable whom I could actually watch having sex in their films!

 

When my financial situation suddenly turned a corner, a couple of years (yes years!) of thinking about the possibility of hiring a hot guy like Jason or Blake finally made me decide to take action. I was planning a trip to New York City with a friend so I began looking at the NYC ads on RB with the serious intent of taking the plunge! Jason and Blake were long-retired and there were no porn star escorts to my taste in NYC so I found an ad for a guy who had gotten rave reviews on Daddy’s and contacted him to set an hour appointment.

 

My positive first escort experience was shared on these pages earlier this year (he took the time to sit me down and bolster my self-esteem) but suffice it to say that once I experienced that first escort, there was only going forward and hiring more well-reviewed escorts, whether in various cities I traveled to or when a highly reviewed escort came through my area! I have enjoyed my hiring experiences so much and now I always look forward with great anticipation to meeting my next new escort or rehiring an escort I enjoyed enough to want a repeat experience!

 

TruHart1

[+ poolboy48220]

Jason & Blake were worth it.

 

I was a very closeted 27 year old going nuts with repression. At that point I couldn't imagine being out, and being caught if I was dating someone, so escorts offered the privacy/discretion I thought was an absolute requirement. I called a service that advertised in the local bar rag (which I would pick up furtively in the midafternoon when nobody was at the bar), talked to the guy there and got some descriptions, and took the plunge one night when my roommate was out of town.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I was 45 and still single and gotten to the point of needing something else in my life, but not knowing what. I had been someone who had always thrown myself into my career and volunteer work; however, my job had taken an unexpected turn as a planned expansion I was to lead was tabled. As such, I decided that until the next career move developed, I needed to put some time in learning who I was.

 

I had occasionally bought gay mags in my 20s and 30s and had visited several gay porn sites over the 10 years, yet I had not actually had sex with another man. I decided it was the time to learn whether I was gay or going to live an asexual life. (I already knew straight sex wasn't my thing.) So I hired a couple of escorts (one a bottom, one a top) to see what I liked. I had been visiting this site for about a year before my first hire, and even then I wasn't fully sure of myself. Like Lee, this was during the summer of 2010.

[whipped guy]

I had always fantasized about experiencing BDSM on a professional level. I have posted this before, so the short version. It was the turn of the century and I set up an appointment. Then I got cold feet and canceled. I got a feeling of emptiness so I called to reschedule. The problem was that I got the escort's voice mail. Eventually he called back... He must have sensed the fear in my voice as his last words to mr were, "don't worry you're in good hands." That gave me confidence and I jumped into the S&M scene with full force and left the session feeling as though I were a superhero who had just conquered the world!!!! The rest is history. Plus, it made me feel as though I was doing porn and I was the star! And the adventure was only beginning!!!!

 

I certainly hope that wisconsinguy has the same result. Being a superhero feels great!!! May he have many great adventures in his future!!!

[unsub2O17]

Most of my major life decisions seem to come with the correct framing of a rhetorical question. I almost died when I was 61--making me fearfully aware of my mortality. While I had been aware of being gay since childhood, I had never acted on the knowledge ( I never felt the repression or conflicts that LBT describes). Shortly after I turned 65, seemingly out of nowhere, the rhetorical question hit me: "Do you want to die never having experienced what you've desired all your life?" The answer was such a galvanizing "NO," that I felt propelled to action. The internet searching began. Google led me to M4RN, and I started reading and reading and reading. I found an amazing man right in my city who emphasized that he liked older men and was good with first timers. I debated, but I knew I just had to try this. I called, I emailed, I kept reading. Finally, a month after the initial contact (2 years ago today!), I climbed the stairs to his apartment. The first encounter was good, but I was SO nervous. I just had to keep going. I learned, I improved, I found Daddys, I kept gaining in self-knowledge. It's been a fantastic journey, full of marvelous men. I'll keep going as long as I can. I wish you all the best, Wisconsinguy, and hope you feel as good on Monday about your decision as I do about mine today.

[wisconsinguy]

Most of my major life decisions seem to come with the correct framing of a rhetorical question. I almost died when I was 61--making me fearfully aware of my mortality. While I had been aware of being gay since childhood, I had never acted on the knowledge ( I never felt the repression or conflicts that LBT describes). Shortly after I turned 65, seemingly out of nowhere, the rhetorical question hit me: "Do you want to die never having experienced what you've desired all your life?" The answer was such a galvanizing "NO," that I felt propelled to action. The internet searching began. Google led me to M4RN, and I started reading and reading and reading. I found an amazing man right in my city who emphasized that he liked older men and was good with first timers. I debated, but I knew I just had to try this. I called, I emailed, I kept reading. Finally, a month after the initial contact (2 years ago today!), I climbed the stairs to his apartment. The first encounter was good, but I was SO nervous. I just had to keep going. I learned, I improved, I found Daddys, I kept gaining in self-knowledge. It's been a fantastic journey, full of marvelous men. I'll keep going as long as I can. I wish you all the best, Wisconsinguy, and hope you feel as good on Monday about your decision as I do about mine today.

Thanks unsub. Sounding like a broken record here, so many gentlemen have shared their support and stories, it is appreciated over and over. I may have miss-typed. My weekend retreat, is the last weekend in Jan/Chicago. Rand

[wisconsinguy]

I thought I would share what had finally flipped my switch. It is a conglomeration of stories from you gentlemen. I particularly pulled many snippets from Lee's

situation. I also was closeted so deep I could barely see the light around the door. Cognitively, once I began thinking about sex/sex roles, family relationships, I knew that I didn't fit the norm. But expectations are there from the family unit. At the age of about 12/13 I started to experience significant life interrupting migraines. I remember getting Codeine for the pain. Talking the med, and shortly thinking, "the pain is going away, and I feel OKAY." Thus began my love affair with opiates. As close to taking my life as Lee, only taking a different route. Multiple OD's, never killed anyone on the road, but I certainly could have. Always looking to feel, "ok." I also spent over 2 and 1/2yrs. in prison directly related to my addiction. I can't say that was the wake up call. I still was closeted, and thought at that time that will be how my life will end. And, during this time: A wife, five children who were by my side through multiple upheavals in their lives.

My wife asked me once, "If the situations were reversed, would you have stayed by me?" I didn't hesitate by replying no. I love my wife, and would give my heart if anybody needed a transplant. We are currently estranged, and working out details for separation vs divorce. There were years of good fun sex, lots O laughs, and beautiful, bright children. BUT, all this time not feeling OK, and so repressed. There are things that she will tolerate, and neither will I. It's funny, and this is directed to Lee, and of course anyone else. We spend so much negative energy trying to hide from ourselves and others. Do we think we have really been successful? I have not come out to my wife yet or my kids. However, through the events of the last few months, my wife and were sitting down. She still is part of AA's spousal support system. She said, "from what I have read over and over through the years, the individuals who are most successful in staying sober, are the ones that can get honest." I think she knows. My oldest daughter said to me, "Dad, you need to be your own person from now on."

 

So what flipped my switch? My best friend over 40yrs or so had been texting recently back and forth. I had my suspicions. His situation similar. Married, divorced, kid. I asked him if he were in any relationship. He texted back saying. "No relationships. I hire men." Will that flipped the switch. I have been on rental sites, this site, and porn to fill a few weeks. So I texted him back my profile as a client. Followed the format that RentBoy does. What a hoot. He got back simply to say OMG. Oh, and he knew all along that I was gay. So 2014 will be a yr of changes. Like unsub, I am 64, and need to live out my life comfortable and happy in my skin. Thanks to all for replying. Great advice. Maybe in a couple of yrs I can share support and advice like Lee and unsub. Anyone that feels the need to PM me, feel free.

1

[Bargara Leatherboy]

For me it was a gradual move from having sensual massages with a happy ending, which I still love - nothing nicer than lying there while wonderful hands move all over your body and pamper you TO the full sexual experience, and more so exploring my sexuality in ways that felt safe.

 

By this I was looking for the BDSM area and also ass play (as my ass have been unexplored for a few years).

 

By hiring the top professionals - after reading reviews and doing some research and good pre appointment communications, I found I could trust an escort in the way I might not be able to trust a pick up or a dating site connection.

 

So far this has worked for me.

 

Moving on from what flipped my switch, I have to say growing up as a obvious screaming queen in the 70's my only option was to be honest, it has not always been easy, but its been worth it.

 

I have a strong sense of justice - and am very politically aware, and do campaign for equality. I also find I stand up for minority rights not just gay rights in the community and workplace.

 

This does not always make me popular, BUT when I read the other posters comments, about breaking out of the closet in your 40, 50,60, breaking out of your marriages, I am glad that I do what I do, because the generations that come after me are having an easier run with it.

 

I feel for you, but I do believe in Carpe Diem, seize the moment, and you guys are seizing your moments. SO well done!!! Congratulations on your bravery.

 

Wisconsinguy- I so hope your first date is incredible and that the earth moves for you, and even if it does not - you have done it once - so its easier to do it a second and third, fourth, fifth time etc. It may not be perfect but as long as you discover what you like and do not like - you are so much further in your journey of discovery than you are today.

 

i do want to hear how it was for you.

 

Anyone else reading this - find the courage your need to be you!!

[wisconsinguy]

For me it was a gradual move from having sensual massages with a happy ending, which I still love - nothing nicer than lying there while wonderful hands move all over your body and pamper you TO the full sexual experience, and more so exploring my sexuality in ways that felt safe.

 

By this I was looking for the BDSM area and also ass play (as my ass have been unexplored for a few years).

 

By hiring the top professionals - after reading reviews and doing some research and good pre appointment communications, I found I could trust an escort in the way I might not be able to trust a pick up or a dating site connection.

 

So far this has worked for me.

 

Moving on from what flipped my switch, I have to say growing up as a obvious screaming queen in the 70's my only option was to be honest, it has not always been easy, but its been worth it.

 

I have a strong sense of justice - and am very politically aware, and do campaign for equality. I also find I stand up for minority rights not just gay rights in the community and workplace.

 

This does not always make me popular, BUT when I read the other posters comments, about breaking out of the closet in your 40, 50,60, breaking out of your marriages, I am glad that I do what I do, because the generations that come after me are having an easier run with it.

 

I feel for you, but I do believe in Carpe Diem, seize the moment, and you guys are seizing your moments. SO well done!!! Congratulations on your bravery.

 

Wisconsinguy- I so hope your first date is incredible and that the earth moves for you, and even if it does not - you have done it once - so its easier to do it a second and third, fourth, fifth time etc. It may not be perfect but as long as you discover what you like and do not like - you are so much further in your journey of discovery than you are today.

 

i do want to hear how it was for you.

 

Anyone else reading this - find the courage your need to be you!!

Thanks a lot. And, I will very much keep all informed. It also always to write reviews. I consider myself a survivor. I feel no guilt about who I am. I have also experienced the love of woman, and children. A career that I love and never intend to retire from. The other tape that plays in my head is that I should be happy with what I have and leave the rest at the door. Alas, it is not ment to be. The other side wants to experience letting go. To feel freedom. To experience the sensual, pleasurable, erotic feel of another man.

[Becket]

The other side wants to experience letting go. To feel freedom. To experience the sensual, pleasurable, erotic feel of another man.

 

Definitely one of the most erotic statements I have read recently. And I agree. These young men are so dam desirable. WHEW!

[Decatur Guy]

Before I moved to Atlanta, I had a fuck buddy that I saw for years. I rarely connected with other guys. He was sexed up, and so was I. So he was enough for me. And he was free!

 

My main experience with escorting at that point was a massage guy who I would blow and sometimes get fucked by. But mainly, he just did massage. We delved into sex perhaps 1 out of 5 appointments, if that. I had only a couple of random hiring experiences before that. They were OK at best. What little thought I had given it was that it wasn't for me.

 

Then I moved to Atlanta about five years ago. I was without my longtime fuck buddy. I wanted another one, but I only seemed to connect with one-timers or short-timers. I also had a lot of trouble finding tops. When I was in a top mood myself, I usually could find a bottom guy. But when I was in a bottom mood, all the tops here wanted someone younger, smoother, etc.

 

So without finding a fuck buddy and seemingly aging out of the bottoming market at a time was actually getting more interested in more frequent bottoming, I turned to escorts mostly out of necessity -- and to save time. At some point, I realized I was spending HOURS on setting up hook-ups or dates that never happened.

 

I really can't remember now who I hired first. I think it might have been Renn Callahan. He had been one of my few random hiring experiences on a trip to NYC. I hadn't really enjoyed it the first time. I was nervous as hell and his aggressive style didn't work for those circumstances. He didn't read it well and fucked me too hard and was too assertive.

 

But he was coming to Atlanta and I had read the reviews on Daddy's. For whatever reason, I felt like I was ready this time and thought he'd be a good match. So I hired him, and it turned out great. I think that was my first review here.

 

Around that same time frame, I hired SmallTownJohn from Atlanta and Luke Markum and traveling buddy of his. Those went well, too. Also, in this time frame, I discovered this Forum and was starting to regularly check rentboy and men4rentnow. Regularly reading reviews and reading Forum posts made feel more comfortable with the hiring concept. Not too long after that, I became off-board friends with Jawjatek, and he mentored me a bit so to speak, and that helped too.

 

At first, hiring made me feel bad about myself after the experience. I watch my money carefully, and that's a lot of money to spend in an hour. Plus it made me feel ugly and unwanted and old. It had come to the point I had to I had to spend a lot of money to have good sex, at least as a bottom; that's not ego-boosting. But eventually, that feeling faded and I was pretty much off to the races, especially after connecting with a few local "go-to" guys.

 

Since then, I've done a couple of vacations planned in part around the escort being in the locale, and I may try an overnight / fly-in thing in 2014. I still have "free" sex and seem to be developing potential fuck buddies. I think hiring actually boosted that in an odd way. I'd eventually like to have what I had before I moved here -- a true fuck buddy. A good friend with whom I also have lots of sex!

[Newly]

Pretty much the same story here. I've been somewhat unsure of my sexuality all my life, I had had a few gay relationships and multiple straight relationships throughout my life and finally got married and had a child because it seemed to be the thing to do. At 49 I developed some really serious heart problems and my wife and I separated (although we both remain good friends). I was so confused at that point that I decided sex was too much of a bother and remained celibate for years, until I figured that based on my lifespan it was time to start on the bucket list. A quick Google search got me to this site where I picked out my first escort based not so much on reviews but on his postings here. I had no idea what (if anything) I was into and if I like someone appearance is pretty immaterial since I tend to find anyone I like to be attractive, so I had my first escort experience in February of this year. Looking back on it I was as nervous as a ***** in church, but thanks to this site and some luck the few hires I have made have been absolutely wonderful persons. I wish I could say everything is now perfect, but hiring an escort really isn't going to settle deep psychological issues and I have the added liability of being a little to the left of left, so there is a part of me that actually feels bad about "using" a human being this way (it would help if they hadn't all been such great people), but I'm getting there and actually starting to develop likes and dislikes. Good luck on your journey WM, and although I hope your first time is great keep in mind that with the initial nervousness it's more like a trial run for the future; practice makes perfect.

[leigh.bess.toad]

This does not always make me popular, BUT when I read the other posters comments, about breaking out of the closet in your 40, 50,60, breaking out of your marriages, I am glad that I do what I do, because the generations that come after me are having an easier run with it.

 

And as one of those guys who broke down the closet door (my partner's ex says I didn't so much came out as much as I burst the door off the hinge), I appreciate it.

 

I've been asked by younger guys why I got married if I knew I was gay. A lot of us who were boomers faced that dilemma, as we've seen here. It was a different time, with different family and social expectations. And I am glad that the younger guys may not face what we faced. But in an odd, almost selfish way, I'm glad I didn't come out when I was younger. Because I have no doubt that I would have been dead by now, in the first wave of AIDS deaths. It's sometimes a bit overwhelming that my cowardice may have saved my life. And sometimes I have a tough time dealing and accepting that. But it is what it is.

 

But now, I, and many others here, have seized the time and come out. Or at least started to explore.

 

With all that has been given to me here in support, friendship, and yes love, I am more than happy to help others who are in my boat. It's funny, because I was certain that when I joined the forum 3+ years ago, I was the only gay married man in America struggling with his sexuality. This place disabused me of that so quickly. And know I know that there are others who were like me. And I am ready to talk with any of them. I know my coming out was so unique, so lucky, that it can't be considered the norm by anyone. But I can certainly be a sounding board as someone who has been there. With what I've learned from my journey out of the closet, and what I've seen from friends who have made the same journey, talking with us can certainly provide a perspective as someone who has been there.

 

All I know is that in my case, I've never been happier, never been freer, never felt more complete. I've heard people say how good it is, living in authenticity. And now I understand that. Because that is what I try to do now, every day.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I have the added liability of being a little to the left of left, so there is a part of me that actually feels bad about "using" a human being this way (it would help if they hadn't all been such great people), but I'm getting there and actually starting to develop likes and dislikes.

 

Newtothis: let me ask you a question. Do you feel bad about using an attorney, a plumber, a doctor? Of course not. These escorts are professionals. Sure a different kind. But the good ones aren't being used. At least in my case, they are there to help me learn, help me deal with my sexuality, help make me a better lover, a better person. When you want help, you go to a professional. When you want legal advice, you see a lawyer. When you want medical advice, you see a doctor. When you want to deal with sexual issues, your sexuality you hire a professional. I am not ashamed in the least bit to say I'm a client of escorts. My escorts have helped teach me, learn about myself, and become more comfortable with myself in so many different ways. From my point of view, there is not, there should not be, any guilt associated with hiring a professional to help deal with issues you may have. Whatever those issues are.

 

Just MHO.

[whipped guy]

In my posting above I really should have included the following... It is a quote that I have on my profile page here... the opening lines of Dante's Divine Comedy... specifically the opening of the Inferno. I doubt that Dante intended it to be interpreted as I do and especially regarding the references to darkness, hell, and the straight path... but metaphorically it worked for me... and I would guess others here can relate as well... and possibly on a variety of levels. In any event, that's what ultimately "flipped my switch"...

 

“Nel mezzo del camin di nostra vita

mi ritrovai per una selva oscura

chè la diritta via era smarrita.”

 

"Halfway through the journey of our life

I found myself within a dark forest

where the straight path was lost."

 

Dante Alighieri:

La Divina Commedia

Inferno: Canto I

[rocky]

Well, I'm not sure I can provide a scenario that includes prison, addiction, mental issues, etc. I grew up in a small upstate New York village. We had one black family. There was also a token "homosexual" antique dealer. I was a popular person with lots of "jock" friend but preferred to be more of an in the background type of guy. I knew in the mid 70's that I was gay. I went to college, worked at colleges but did nothing. Not until 1988, now 35 years old in Washington DC at a meeting I went to "P Street Station." My first experience but not until years later did I find escorts near me. Why, I enjoyed the company, I was scared, I was not "out"; I wasn't attractive although told I was cute and nice, plus I had the money to see escorts. Not sure I'd change much, but maybe be more out there.

[daviddd49]

What was the impetus that led you, as a client, to make the final move to hire an escort? It's hard to believe it was simply a matter of, "oh, it's something I always wanted to do." LOL. Now that I have solidified my upcoming first time appointment, I very much can pinpoint the circumstances regarding my move.

 

I've always been a sexually active guy. When I was the young, handsome, boy-next-door football player in High School in the early 1970s I was terrified of being discovered as a "fag," but I soon came out to 2 of my fellow teammates who were also queer and we ended up having a lot of sex each other until graduation. Throughout college and graduate school, in New York and Boston, I fucked just about any guy that would hold still for it ... and got fucked a lot myself. I was totally versatile and needed both cock and ass on a daily basis. As a muscular, 6 foot tall football player jock with a hairy body and a randy personality, I got a LOT of sex. I would have just about any guy I wanted, and I had a LOT of guys. This was before the days of condoms and it is, without question, a miracle that I never contracted AIDS. A lot of the guys I had sex with eventually did get it, but I somehow dodged the bullet (I'm tested regularly and am negative).

 

As I got a little older I started to settle down. I met a guy who blew me off my feet; we fell in love with each other and decided to make it exclusive. That one lasted about 10 excellent years, but we drifted apart and eventually separated. Then, in the early 1990s I met the man who would become my life partner. He was tall (6'1"), very slender, smooth, nordic, and oh so VERY pretty. I fell head-over-heels in love with him, and the attraction was mutual. For 10 years we were devoted to each other, with hot and heavy sex several times a week and no desire to see anyone else. Sadly, in the early 2000s we noticed that he was quickly developing a severe physical lethargy. He ignored it as long as he could, but after a year of declining physical ability -- including declining sexual capacity -- he finally went to the doctor for testing and was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. His was a very aggressive form of the disease, and initially the treatments they tried on him were ineffective. His health continued to decline and, by the mid 2000s he was confined to a wheel chair or bed, was incapable of sex, and was starting to lose upper-body strength as well.

 

While I still loved my partner deeply, I was utterly sexually frustrated. One night, lying next to him in bed, he turned to me and told me that he knew I needed a sexual outlet ... the only things he asked was that I (1) always came home to him, (2) never brought anything home, and (3) never discussed it with him. I understood him to mean that I shouldn't look for a new partner or boy friend, but that if I could find fuck buddies, that was ok with him so long as I was safe and never let it become obvious to him. So, in 2005 I began seeing Escorts. Yes, I've had some non-escort fuck buddies ... but these are sometimes problematic because they have often been interested in taking the relationship beyond "friends with benefits" and I've had to explain that such wasn't an option. With Escorts one doesn't (usually) have that problem.

 

In late 2011 my partner was accepted into a new experimental therapy program and began showing significant signs of improvement. He graduated upwards from a powered wheel chair to a walker to, now, a cane. And, thank God, after many treatments and much physical therapy, he is again sexually capable! We can't have sex frequently, nor for as long as I'd like, but I can fuck him and make him cum ... I can sexually give him the love I feel for him ... and that's all that matters now. I still see escorts to fulfill some of the other sexual needs I have, and because I've made some good friends among several escorts.