I've Woken Up From My Fool's Dream--and I Feel Slightly Better

[+ Gar1eth]

While It May Sound Like I'm Not...

 

I am appreciative of everyone who has replied to this thread to offer encouragement and suggestions. I am also appreciative of those who may have read it- didn't have anything particular to add- but might have spared a kind thought for me. I could use all the kindly thoughts I can get.

 

Yes- it's been noted before by lots of people in my private life that I shoot down suggestions very easily. In some cases I may be too quick to dismiss things out of hand- but my situation has not just suddenly occurred- it's been going on for decades. I've thought of many of these suggestions over the years- and realized why they probably wouldn't work for me- or I have tried them or something similar- and know they don't work for me.

 

As for not always getting what you want- if we are talking about sex- then on a routine basis- I almost never get what I want unless I pay- and in spite of the song lyrics- what I get in it's place is loneliness- and that is most assuredly not what I need.

 

I don't think it's that out of the ordinary for someone who is horribly out of shape to feel ill with exercise- even walking can hurt me because I have what is most likely - arthritis in my ankles.

 

The Bodybug does sound interesting. I may buy it of course- even if I did knowing me- I might never really use it. But writing down everything I eat- while it may very well be necessary- and I can see the use of it- sounds like hell on earth- or if not hell- at least purgatory.

 

 

 

Gman

[instudiocity]

The Bodybug does sound interesting. I may buy it of course- even if I did knowing me- I might never really use it. But writing down everything I eat- while it may very well be necessary- and I can see the use of it- sounds like hell on earth- or if not hell- at least purgatory.

Gman, I encourage you to try the BBugg and Calorie Counting - look at it like this, You don't put 35 gallons of gas in your car when it only holds 18 gallons. It's impossible. But you can easily be eating 3,000 calories a day, when your body only metabolizes 1,500. If that's true, that extra 1,500 calories means that on days you overeat, you're adding 1500/3600= .4 pounds to your body.

 

Once you recognize that you're 1,500 calories a day is 500 calories per meal, and a strip of bacon is 130 calories, you stop with one strip of bacon. But restaurants have programmed up to eat 2-3 strips of bacon. When I figured out that 3 Eggs (240 calories) and 3 strips of bacon (390 calories) and 2 slices of toast with butter and jam (350 calories) was 980 calories (and 65% of my daily burn), I changed what I stuck in my mouth. It's not hard to live on 1,500 calories a day, if you are thinking about it.

 

Getting refined sugar out of your diet helps, too! Refined sugar is a tightly packed group of calories that your body burns quickly and then craves. If you never put refined sugar in, your body stops craving it and begins to burn the stored fats more efficiently. When refined sugars go in, your body goes back to burning them instead of stored fats.

 

Ignoring the issues will never make them go away. Learning the simple math of calorie counting and body metabolism is an easy fit. Again, I encourage you to spend a few minutes a day logging the food intake and checking your metabolism.

 

The arthritis is a combination illness - it's inflammation from improper diet, it's lack of use from a sedentary lifestyle and it's the consequence of over-stressing the joints from carrying too much weight for too long. The good news? It's reversible. Think about your weight in terms of percentage. If you took 10% of your weight off, your ankles will 'know' the difference!

 

I'd also encourage you to watch The Biggest Loser, and not for the drill sergeants and the over-blown exercising, but for the dietary, metabolism and emotional tips you'd learn from these 400 and 500 pound men who turn into FOXES in 13 episodes. The current season, Chism is a kid who's in the 300's. I can already see he's going to be a HOTTIE by the end of the season.

[seeker630]

... Once you recognize that you're 1,500 calories a day is 500 calories per meal, and a strip of bacon is 130 calories, you stop with one strip of bacon. But restaurants have programmed up to eat 2-3 strips of bacon. When I figured out that 3 Eggs (240 calories) and 3 strips of bacon (390 calories) and 2 slices of toast with butter and jam (350 calories) was 980 calories (and 65% of my daily burn), I changed what I stuck in my mouth. It's not hard to live on 1,500 calories a day, if you are thinking about it.

 

 

Not to get off-topic, but I count calories, and all my sources say a slice of bacon is 40-50 calories - 130 should be 3 slices, according to the package label in my fridge.

 

What source are you using?

[raulgmanzo]

...Raul, have you honestly hooked up with someone with no pictures on a hook-up site? ...

 

Yes, several times. And often I've been blown away by hot the guy (or guys) was when I got there.

[raulgmanzo]

...

Getting refined sugar out of your diet helps, too! Refined sugar is a tightly packed group of calories that your body burns quickly and then craves. If you never put refined sugar in, your body stops craving it and begins to burn the stored fats more efficiently. When refined sugars go in, your body goes back to burning them instead of stored fats.

...

The arthritis is a combination illness - it's inflammation from improper diet, it's lack of use from a sedentary lifestyle and it's the consequence of over-stressing the joints from carrying too much weight for too long. The good news? It's reversible. Think about your weight in terms of percentage. If you took 10% of your weight off, your ankles will 'know' the difference!

...

 

Excellent points. Yet it's amazing how many people continue eating sugar. In my opinion it is absurd for people to worry about eating fat while eating refined sugar. often counter-productive.

 

Most people could probably quite easily reduce their sugar and junk food intake if they would focus on developing a taste for healthy yet indulgent foods.

It only takes imagination and being willing to try new things. Of course I understand that most people are lacking in both.

[maxwellissmart]

Excellent points. Yet it's amazing how many people continue eating sugar. In my opinion it is absurd for people to worry about eating fat while eating refined sugar. often counter-productive.

 

Most people could probably quite easily reduce their sugar and junk food intake if they would focus on developing a taste for healthy yet indulgent foods.

It only takes imagination and being willing to try new things. Of course I understand that most people are lacking in both.

 

You can actually lose weight by eating nothing but cupcakes, as long as your caloric intake doesn't exceed what you burn during the day through activity. Granted, you probably won't feel your best, but you'll have a nice sugar buzz.

[gcursor]

or Chicken McNuggets

 

Is this like that girl recently I saw in the news who has eaten nothing but Chicken McNuggets?

 

 

You can actually lose weight by eating nothing but cupcakes, as long as your caloric intake doesn't exceed what you burn during the day through activity. Granted, you probably won't feel your best, but you'll have a nice sugar buzz.

[jjkrkwood]

Excellent points. Yet it's amazing how many people continue eating sugar. In my opinion it is absurd for people to worry about eating fat while eating refined sugar. often counter-productive.

 

Most people could probably quite easily reduce their sugar and junk food intake if they would focus on developing a taste for healthy yet indulgent foods.

It only takes imagination and being willing to try new things. Of course I understand that most people are lacking in both.

 

Most people dont READ labels, and dont know the food that actually contain sugar. You would be surprised that most processed food and beverages contain sugar. People pour Catsup on their food, and swab their McNuggets in sweet and sour sauce not realizing that stuff is Loaded with sugar. Read people, READ !

[raulgmanzo]

You can actually lose weight by eating nothing but cupcakes, as long as your caloric intake doesn't exceed what you burn during the day through activity. Granted, you probably won't feel your best, but you'll have a nice sugar buzz.

 

The trouble with that line of thought is that the human body has tremendous ability to vary caloric use.

That is one reason that caloric restrictive diets are often counter-productive and why most people should

eat small meals often if they wish to lose weight.

[raulgmanzo]

Most people dont READ labels, and dont know the food that actually contain sugar. You would be surprised that most processed food and beverages contain sugar. People pour Catsup on their food, and swab their McNuggets in sweet and sour sauce not realizing that stuff is Loaded with sugar. Read people, READ !

 

Probably better anyway to just avoid anything processed that has an ingredient list.

Seriously. Instudiocity said something brilliant a few posts back. Something about fast food deisgned to make you want more of it. Sorry ISC if I am incorrectly paraphrasing.

The point is that you will do best by buying actually whole food like vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fish and meat that have not been manufactured in a factory.

[josephga]

there's no way id eat a McNugget after seeing on tv years ago how those things are made

[jjkrkwood]

Probably better anyway to just avoid anything processed that has an ingredient list.

Seriously. Instudiocity said something brilliant a few posts back. Something about fast food deisgned to make you want more of it. Sorry ISC if I am incorrectly paraphrasing.

The point is that you will do best by buying actually whole food like vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fish and meat that have not been manufactured in a factory.

 

Agreed, but for those folks that have jobs, and eat on the run at lunchour, and want economic fare, its not easy. No excuses here, just a choice you need to make, like anything else in life...

 

I find peanut butter and sugar free jelly is a satisfying lunch, even if I eat 2 sandwiches on whole grain bread.

[instudiocity]

Not to get off-topic, but I count calories, and all my sources say a slice of bacon is 40-50 calories - 130 should be 3 slices, according to the package label in my fridge.

 

What source are you using?

The back of my thick sliced, center-cut bacon that I formerly purchased. Every company will be different, and the law covering Nutrition Facts for foods says the number reported must be accurate to within 20% - so there's room to have variations in the number. Also, I expect the food company puts it's best food forward to the independent testing lab, a la a representative example that is probably underweight.

[instudiocity]

You can actually lose weight by eating nothing but cupcakes, as long as your caloric intake doesn't exceed what you burn during the day through activity. Granted, you probably won't feel your best, but you'll have a nice sugar buzz.

My endocrinologist when he pronounced me diabetes free asked me, "So what have you learned?" I said, "I can eat pure garbage as long as I burn it. It's when my caloric intake exceeds my burn that I get into trouble." And yes, you can eat fats, sugars, and 'everything' bad for you in moderation and your body will flat burn what you give it. It's just when you've overloaded that it starts to store.

[raulgmanzo]

Agreed, but for those folks that have jobs, and eat on the run at lunchour, and want economic fare, its not easy. No excuses here, just a choice you need to make, like anything else in life...

 

I find peanut butter and sugar free jelly is a satisfying lunch, even if I eat 2 sandwiches on whole grain bread.

 

Sounds like a good start. But sugar-free sounds frightening. How about switching from jelly to fruit? Peanut butter and banana is a classic but really any fruit works in place of jelly.

 

Then I would also recommend trying various other nut butters in rotation with the peanut butter. Made with out sugar and with out hydrogenated oils of course. Though I prefer to snack on whole nuts I do keep a bunch of nut butters on my shelf. Along with peanut butter I have almond, cashew, sunflower, and tahini at the moment. Sometimes I make my own from brazil or hazel nuts or whatever.

 

One problem with sugar-free (where the sugar is replaced with a non-nutritive sweetner) things is that studies with diet drinks have shown that the calorically unfulfilled sweet sensation seems to encourage the body to compensate by eating more. Which is why I recommend people work on getting their body to enjoy less sweet things rather than simply less sugared things.

 

IMHO diet beverages are a scam. It can take some effort to get used to drinking water AND actually avoiding drinking much of anything while eating. But it will be well worth it.

[instudiocity]

The trouble with that line of thought is that the human body has tremendous ability to vary caloric use.

That is one reason that caloric restrictive diets are often counter-productive and why most people should

eat small meals often if they wish to lose weight.

I've heard this as gospel truth, but I've also read studies that says it doesn't matter. Bottom line - whatever your body needs to aid in restricting caloric intake and still feel good is what you should be doing. I can do 3 meals a day without a problem. Others need 6 smaller meals. I have a friend who is a handsome model, he grazes between 4 and 7 everyday, and that's the only time he eats.

[instudiocity]

Probably better anyway to just avoid anything processed that has an ingredient list.

Seriously. Instudiocity said something brilliant a few posts back. Something about fast food deisgned to make you want more of it. Sorry ISC if I am incorrectly paraphrasing.

The point is that you will do best by buying actually whole food like vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fish and meat that have not been manufactured in a factory.

Dood, you got my intent exactly. Ever wonder how much sugar is in those custom buns made for McDonalds, et al? The answer is 'any sugar in bread is too much."

[raulgmanzo]

... And yes, you can eat fats, sugars, and 'everything' bad for you in moderation and your body will flat burn what you give it. It's just when you've overloaded that it starts to store.

 

Well fats are not necessarily bad for one. Some are, and of course excess amounts are but the body in fact needs fat for certain fat soluble vitamin needs. If one reduced ALL sugar from ones diet, even naturally occuring sugars then one could still live healthfully since as you sensibly point out the body can burn almost ANYTHING for sugar/energy. But not so with removing all fat from ones diet. Cut out all fat from ones diet and they maybe lose weight but they will also get sick.

 

Another interesting thing to note is that as ones caloric needs increase so do ones nutrient needs BUT NOT NEARLY AS QUICKLY. Meaning that an inactive person eating a small amount of food may not get enough of certain vitamins if he eats ANY empty calories. Whereas a very active person who doubles his caloric needs will not double his vitamin needs and can therefore afford to eat some empty

calories.

 

This seems to be even more so when you take into account the by products of metabolizing sugar and the anti-oxidants that are often plentiful in natural foods and lacking in processed items.

[raulgmanzo]

Dood, you got my intent exactly. Ever wonder how much sugar is in those custom buns made for McDonalds, et al? The answer is 'any sugar in bread is too much."

 

Ha! Well even without the sugar the glycemic value of white bread is virtually the same as sugar.

Frankly people with health/weight issues should rarely eat white bread. There are actually arguments to be made for many people skipping the bread altogether but

goodness white bread? Never. Not unless one is burning a few thousand calories a day.

[jjkrkwood]

While all the information here is good and valuable, the point here was to encourage Gman. I am afraid after reading all of the above, he will be even MORE intimidated to do something for himself, because it all just sounds so scientific and complicated. For a person with no experience in diet and body care, it can be scary... It IS alot of work, and a thought process, but once you get it, it becomes second nature. Hey, I am 60, and if I can still get 30 y.o. guys heads to turn, then there must be something to it.?

[Guest Spanky]

Yes, several times. And often I've been blown away by hot the guy (or guys) was when I got there.

 

Can you imagine sitting at your computer trading messages with someone whose profile is sans pictures, and then Raul shows up at your door? Lord. Like Ed McMahon showing up with the $10M check.

 

While all the information here is good and valuable, the point here was to encourage Gman. I am afraid after reading all of the above, he will be even MORE intimidated to do something for himself, because it all just sounds so scientific and complicated. For a person with no experience in diet and body care, it can be scary... It IS alot of work, and a thought process, but once you get it, it becomes second nature. Hey, I am 60, and if I can still get 30 y.o. guys heads to turn, then there must be something to it.?

 

Maybe but maybe not. I was a pretty big kid in high school and lost a lot of weight in college. My solution? Eat primarily fruits and vegetables as the main part of every meal and supplement with small portions of other foods. And I wasn't particularly selective as to what those other foods were. Plus, I went to a large campus so I was walking a couple of miles a day back and forth to class. So more fruits and vegetables and more exercise. That's not exactly rocket science. Also, as someone who suffers from arthritis I can tell you that, from my experience, the more active I am the less problems I have with the arthritis. I tend to have flareups during periods of inactivity.

 

Science aside, you're right JJ it is scary and takes commitment and dedication to one's cause. The person has to want to do it.

[+ FreshFluff]

While all the information here is good and valuable, the point here was to encourage Gman.

 

I agree. There are many people here who know more about diet than I do, but the message I hoped to get across in my last post is that small changes can make a difference. There's a lot you can do without completely changing your diet. In my early 20s, I spent a few years at a heavier weight than usual. I kept starting fancy diets and failing. It was only when I started making small changes--eating only until I was satisfied not stuffed, reducing sugary drinks, adding some veggies at the start of meals--that I went back to my normal weight.

 

Moreover, people doesn't need to "lose all the weight" to be happy; doctors say that losing 10% of the base weight makes a big difference health-wise, and I'm guessing it can make a significant change in appearance as well.

 

As far as cutting out all sugar free stuff: There are a lot of studies showing that people have a limited amount of self discipline, so they need to use it wisel. Cutting out sugar and fatty foods and diet soda at the same time is a lot to do all at once. Why not start small and see what happens?

[seeker630]

The back of my thick sliced, center-cut bacon that I formerly purchased. Every company will be different, and the law covering Nutrition Facts for foods says the number reported must be accurate to within 20% - so there's room to have variations in the number. Also, I expect the food company puts it's best food forward to the independent testing lab, a la a representative example that is probably underweight.

 

The thick-cut is probably what causes the difference. (Its funny - sometimes I'm in the mood for thin, and sometimes thick. No rude comments, please )

[Phil_musc]

Seeker, you scamp to inject a little levity into this serious and informative thread!

 

I think this is really too complicated - best to simplify: eat less (we americans have real issues with portion size - something about expecting a good hefty size when we shell out the ducats) and get some exercise. The less food doesn't have to be radical, although I'd recommend cutting out all soft drinks and juices in favor of simple water. Cut way down on the sugar (be careful, there are a lot of processed foods with sweeteners beyond simple sugar), starches and fats. Eat more raw veggies - like in a salad and pay attention to the amount of dressing you put on the salad - too much and you've eradicated any benefit. Don't snack while watching TV. Work on those triceps - they are the muscles that allow you to push the plate of food away. Start walking whenever the opportunity presents itself (and go from there) and get up to change the channel, don't use the remote. Any activity is better than no activity. Develop some patience with yourself and what your body can tolerate in the form of exercise. The real thing I have found for myself also is that it's amazing how little food the body actually requires. It was said somewhere above: stop eating sooner than you expect; let the fullness mechanism kick in.

 

But I also understand the OP's urge to cancel some of his profiles. Too much head games and too little product to show for all that effort.

[bluboy]

I ave found this looking but not acting to be a parricularly american phenomenon both at sex clubs and on sex sites. In europe at the clubs people are truly there to fuck there is less stand and pose in the room. Paris and berlin particularly. Also for me grindr is way way more successful in terms of the chat to fuck ratio. There is something in the american gay character that is more about just racking up points getting someone to agree to meet u than in the actual meeting. I think its partially sexual lack of confidence. I look good enough to get you but am i sexually good enough for you tomhave a good time with me. Not the same thing. Lays bare lies told by the perfect body and face. Being good sexually is a wnole different kettle of fish than looking good and being able to attrwct someone. So often you find someone who is sexually attractive to look at is NOT so sexually attractive in the event. Hence the fear of crossing over and actually trying to deliver on the pictures promise....blu