Question for our members...

[Cooper]

I've meet many members on daddy's and have found most to be really nice guys. Friends have said the same of others...

 

So, here's my question. Why is it that some members can be so nice in person but, when it comes to posting, can be out right malicious?

 

Coop

[jjkrkwood]

I've meet many members on daddy's and have found most to be really nice guys. Friends have said the same of others...

 

So, here's my question. Why is it that some members can be so nice in person but, when it comes to posting, can be out right malicious?

 

Coop

 

I think its the security of the screen and the anonymity of it. It often affords people the opportunity to say what they REALLY feel without the repercussions of the face-toface encounter.

 

But it can work 2 ways. Often people will display an entirely different persona, perhaps the one they really wish they had. Its a pyschological thing, with its roots being deeply based in past experiences and desires.

 

Personally, i cant fake it. What you see is what you get, and although many here think I am abrasive and out of touch with Reality, its basically THEIR reality they are speaking of in my disagreement with them. Being passionate about certain subject matter can also result in erradic behavior. I dont really think anyone here (except for 1 I can think of) sets out to be Intentionally malicious, although things online can often escalate when things get heated and tempers flair. Thats when the moderators step in hopefully.

 

I feel this site, like others should be about honesty, and if people cant accept that, it says more about them than about you. People can only know about US what we present them with. Choosing to Hide or reveal yourself is a choice each of us makes when we Participate.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Like you Coop, I've met many forum members in person -- probably closing in on 50 in the last year or so. And as you say, they have been universally nice and great guys to hang out with. Sure some can be a bit cantankerous at times. Opinionated? For sure. Forcefully so. But I can't think of anyone here who I can think of is actually malicious. Grumpy as hell sometimes, but not malicious.

 

And like jjk, with me, what you see is what you get. I always try to tell the truth as I see it -- that way I don't have to try to remember what lie I told to whom. But the anonymity of the forum gives some people a chance to express things they'd never say to your face. And that's fine with me. We all use this forum for different purposes. It allows some of us to explore our sexuality in ways we never would have without that on-line personae. Others use it to form friendships. Obviously, we advocate for our favorite escorts and sometimes even learn and meet new guys who might interest us. And I'm sure some guys use it to vent things in their lives they wouldn't do otherwise.

 

It's the anonymity that allows that. And in spite of the occasional squabble, I don't think I'd want it any other way.

[RockCreekRunr]

Attention-Seekers?

 

Coop, that's an excellent question. I suspect it's because they are lonely and are seeking attention. They want to be noticed and have their existence confirmed. If they can create an emotional reaction from somebody, it makes them feel a connection, even it’s a negative connection.

[Decatur Guy]

Internet posting boards, I guess because of the anonymity, have brought out the worst in a lot people. Some political message boards are downright frightening.

 

But Internet posting sites have also connected me with some great folks.

[orbital sander]

I've meet many members on daddy's and have found most to be really nice guys. Friends have said the same of others...

 

So, here's my question. Why is it that some members can be so nice in person but, when it comes to posting, can be out right malicious?

 

Coop

 

Probably because one cannot get his (or her) ass kicked through a computer screen.

[+ purplekow]

Well, I believe that some people come up with what they think is the perfect rejoinder but in real life it is long past the time such a comment would make sense, whereas on line, it can not be determined always if it took 5 seconds or 5 days to come up with a response.

in addition, when dealing with some of the dogmatic people on this type of site, one sometimes need to take a firm stance in order to have a chance at a reasonable discussion.

I have written many responses which start out with: " I agree with most of what you had to say but I disagree with this point." Most times, in response, I receive no acknowledgement of the common ground and only a response to the point of disagreement. It has happened often enough that i have come to assume that if a particular point is not mentioned that the replier agrees with what has been said and disagrees only with the points he mentions. As a result, most exchanges feature disagreement.

Also, apart from escorts, i have met few posters here. That does allow a certain freedom in responding. If I met JJ in real life, I would bet we would have much in common and probably would be quite social. He might even be charming. On this site however, I usually find his posts disagreeable at best and laughable at worst and not laughable in a good way. So when i read one of his posts, I have no reference for the charming man with the winning smile and the deep throat and therefore i am less likely to buy a lot of what he is selling. i selected jj as an example because he does seem to post on every thread and therefore he is the most likely to read this and reply and thereby creating and exciting and probably adversarial bit of riposte.

[wayout]

Coop, that's an excellent question. I suspect it's because they are lonely and are seeking attention. They want to be noticed and have their existence confirmed. If they can create an emotional reaction from somebody, it makes them feel a connection, even it’s a negative connection.

 

I believe RCR has made a very good observation about the root cause. This may not be a universal truth but it likely covers quite a few people. I also believe that there are those that just plain and simple like to stir the pot and, in their view, liven things up. It seems there is an observable pattern here on the forum that after a period of calm someone will come along and write something that will cause the pot to boil over. Nothing wrong with adding a spark to the forum at times but seems that it too often devolves into personal attacks and goes way off topic. Some people hold on to things way too long and take things way too seriously, which is surprising in itself considering most of the topics being discussed, but likely goes back to something more deep seated in their psyche than any of us could ever hope to fully understand.

[justaguy]

I think that anonymity plays a big role, but orbital has voiced what else I think is going on. IMO, one of the reasons people are nice in person but rude or antagonistic when posting is the lack of any meaningful consequence in the latter. A person using hurtful words on line sees only a screen but not the reaction of the real person his words attacked. He doesn’t have to deal with being the causer of pain and, as orbital said, doesn’t have to worry about getting his ass kicked.

[jjkrkwood]

Well, I believe that some people come up with what they think is the perfect rejoinder but in real life it is long past the time such a comment would make sense, whereas on line, it can not be determined always if it took 5 seconds or 5 days to come up with a response.

in addition, when dealing with some of the dogmatic people on this type of site, one sometimes need to take a firm stance in order to have a chance at a reasonable discussion.

I have written many responses which start out with: " I agree with most of what you had to say but I disagree with this point." Most times, in response, I receive no acknowledgement of the common ground and only a response to the point of disagreement. It has happened often enough that i have come to assume that if a particular point is not mentioned that the replier agrees with what has been said and disagrees only with the points he mentions. As a result, most exchanges feature disagreement.

Also, apart from escorts, i have met few posters here. That does allow a certain freedom in responding. If I met JJ in real life, I would bet we would have much in common and probably would be quite social. He might even be charming. On this site however, I usually find his posts disagreeable at best and laughable at worst and not laughable in a good way. So when i read one of his posts, I have no reference for the charming man with the winning smile and the deep throat and therefore i am less likely to buy a lot of what he is selling. i selected jj as an example because he does seem to post on every thread and therefore he is the most likely to read this and reply and thereby creating and exciting and probably adversarial bit of riposte.

 

No comment, other than I do think I missed posting on a few Threads. so cut me some slack here PK.... What I dont undertsand though is WHY so many people here seem so concerned with HOW MUCH I post? I thought that was the point of the site ? Interesting.

 

And FYI, I post on several sites, and noone on the other sites seem to have any issue with the frequency of my posts. Now as for content, well I'm sure you know. LOL

[Samai139]

Another factor: in face to face encounters each party can observe body language, facial expressions, hesitations,emphases gestures, proximity, etc., etc.

When reading a posting on this site and others, we react to written words and they can be misinterpreted either deliberately or through some omission or in the "heat of the moment." In conversation it's possible to reply or react to something almost immediately--by interrupting or gestures---and clearing up a misunderstanding or disagreement before things get out of control. Of course it''s also possible to get into a shouting match.

I've noticed that in sending e-mails to friends---yes, yes, I still send e-mails, not texts---I've not always been as clear as I should have been. Doesn't usually end in arguments because we know each other well, but electronic exchanges can be fraught with danger. I've met several posters and agree they are pleasant and fun to be around. Perhaps the surly, curmudgeonly, nitpickers don't socialize as much as others??

[Poolboy21409]

Coop - is that really you in the speedos?? It is the anonymity of the written word as opposed to the face to face spoken word. I once tried to have an email free Friday with my staff at my last real job. Failed miserably. But in any event, I am nice on email or in person. I just get nasty in the sack :-))

[+ purplekow]

No comment, other than I do think I missed posting on a few Threads. so cut me some slack here PK.... What I dont undertsand though is WHY so many people here seem so concerned with HOW MUCH I post? I thought that was the point of the site ? Interesting.

 

And FYI, I post on several sites, and noone on the other sites seem to have any issue with the frequency of my posts. Now as for content, well I'm sure you know. LOL

i specifically mentioned that in that post because you seem to be a bit sensitive about this area and it was pretty much a sure thing to get a response, which it did. That in fact, is what the sentence after the sentence about your posting frequency says. Now if we knew each other in real life, you would know I will kid with people i know can take it and usually avoid joking with those that are thinner skinned and who take things to heart. Thus life imitating posting imitating life.

[jjkrkwood]

i specifically mentioned that in that post because you seem to be a bit sensitive about this area and it was pretty much a sure thing to get a response, which it did. That in fact, is what the sentence after the sentence about your posting frequency says. Now if we knew each other in real life, you would know I will kid with people i know can take it and usually avoid joking with those that are thinner skinned and who take things to heart. Thus life imitating posting imitating life.

 

Well Glad I didnt disappoint !

[+ glutes]

Look at ME! Look at ME!!

 

Who cares about a members posting frequency??

It is when they exclaim about their new status:

 

Holy Bejesus, I am a Baron!

~or~

OH LORD, I am a Lord!

[tom1980]

Trying to resist posting about my NEW-bie status . . . alas to no avail.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Trying to resist posting about my NEW-bie status . . . alas to no avail.

 

Welcome tom1980, nonetheless.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Who cares about a members posting frequency??

It is when they exclaim about their new status:

 

Holy Bejesus, I am a Baron!

~or~

OH LORD, I am a Lord!

 

Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee.

[Okliehomo]

LBT...

 

Not exactly, "lousy with virginity"???.... are you?

 

And I'm thinking you would come across.....for Maximum's Ross???

 

I would..... and Troy Donahue, too.

 

Okie

[leigh.bess.toad]

LBT...

 

Not exactly, "lousy with virginity"???.... are you?

 

And I'm thinking you would come across.....for Maximum's Ross???

 

I would..... and Troy Donahue, too.

 

Okie

 

Nah. my virginity is lousy. Old, dead, and in a clump by the garbage pail of antiquity.

 

Maximum's Ross? Nah, not my type. Now your friend Arpad. Oh, yeah.

[jjkrkwood]

Who cares about a members posting frequency??

It is when they exclaim about their new status:

 

Holy Bejesus, I am a Baron!

~or~

OH LORD, I am a Lord!

 

OH GEEZ, another day of Glutes pollution. Obviously the sugar in all those Ho-Ho's you ingest has corroded your mind to the point that you dont recognize humor. For a good dose of Humor, stand in front of your mirror Glutes. And lets be REAL here: you are fuckin obssesed with ME, so get over it already and act like a NORMAL adult!

[jjkrkwood]

Who cares about a members posting frequency??

It is when they exclaim about their new status:

 

Holy Bejesus, I am a Baron!

~or~

OH LORD, I am a Lord!

 

BTW, at my NEXT level, I'll use a Bull-horn, just for YOU.

[Samai139]

Coop's initial post asked the question "Why members of this Forum can be so pleasant in person and so malicious here." After reading the last 10 or so replies, I wonder if any conclusions can be reached? One question and/or observation: Do misunderstandings sometimes occur because of differences in individual's sense of humour? Is it possible that something that is posted, tongue in cheek, is taken seriously by someone else? Personally, I remember one instance in which I missed a double meaning in a post and asked what appeared to be a stupid question. The original poster pointed out, politely, that he was playing with words, and I had missed it. I thanked him and was grateful that he had taken the time to explain his post. I suspect if he had replied in a sarcastic mode that I was a "dim bulb" and didn't have a sense of humour, I might have reacted differently.