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What is Proper ?

jjkrkwood

By jjkrkwood
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robberbaron4u Grand Master

robberbaron4u

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Dinner and a "show" are entertainment, not a gift. My recommendation is to ascertain that which are his personal interests in life and the gift should follow suit to his interests. Apart from being on the college swim team, my first "boyfriend" was an accounting major; my Xmas gifts to him, in the three year course of our relationship, were, in succession, a vermeil mechanical pencil, a ball point pen, and, lastly, a fountain pen which, taken together, made a matching set. Forty years later, he still has the set and uses them on a daily basis.

TruthBTold Grand Master

TruthBTold

Posted
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There's nothing too extravagant

 

Geez are you guys saving up all your money for escorts? There is nothing wrong with a nice gift. Dinner is fine, but nothing special really. I like the bear gift a lot better than I like the idea of dinner.

So, something like a Nook with his favorite book is reasonably priced and appropriate if he is a reader. If he is into sports, tickets to a favorite game and a shirt from his favorite team. Have his favorite players name on the shirt not yours or his. First of all it shows you know who he favorite player is and second of all your name or his name might prove inconvenient at a time he was wearing the shirt. Not a sports shirt guy, how about nice cashmere sweater. Nothing too extravagant but in a color that you think looks good on him or better yet a color that looks good coming off of him. A pair os sexy underwear in the same color might complete the outfit. Is he a bit kinky, then something from the adult store might be fun for both of you. A businessman, perhaps a Mont Blanc pen with his name engraved.

Whatever you get, i think that the most important thing is that it reflects that you spent some time thinking about it and you got something that is for him and not just for any hard cock you may have been dating.

 

Nothing too extravagant ? . . . I got a chuckle out of these. "How about a nice cashmere sweater. . . perhaps a Mont Blanc pen with his name engraved." Put me on your gift list. : )

Cooper Grand Master

Cooper

Posted
Posted
Dinner and a "show" are entertainment, not a gift.

 

I disagree with that... If you're picking up the tab, it's a gift, ex. taking someone out for dinner on their birthday, anniversary, or special occasion ... One of the nicest gifts someone could give me would be tickets to a Broadway show... Yes, it depends on the individual's taste... JJ, stick with your dinner idea, it's a nice gift.

Axiom2001 Grand Master

+ Axiom2001

Posted
Posted
I'd say trust your instincts. A nice dinner, assuming he likes such things, sounds good to me!

 

I concur with seeker630. If he had not written it first, I would have! Enjoy yourself tremendously! Wish I were in your shoes! -:) -:) -:)

Cooper Grand Master

Cooper

Posted
Posted
In my opinion, a "personal" gift is a singular thing to be cherished as a memento of a happy time in one's life; on the other hand dinner and a show are a shared experience.

 

Well, that's where we differ. I can see a "shared experience" as a "cherished momento"... and that can include a dinner for two at a special restaurant or attending a show that both of you have always wanted to see. Those memories can last a life time.... If doing those type of things makes the other person happy, then consider it a gift.

Cooper Grand Master

Cooper

Posted
Posted

Memento

 

A shared experience", that is, dinner for two at a special restaurant, can be a cherished moment, not a memento.

 

Have the waiter take a picture of the two of you enjoying that special Christmas dinner. Then, put it in a silver picture frame engraved with the date and place. Now, you have your treasured memento. :rolleyes:

jgoo Community Regular

jgoo

Posted
Posted
In my opinion, a "personal" gift is a singular thing to be cherished as a memento of a happy time in one's life; on the other hand dinner and a show are a shared experience.

 

It may be that the vagueness of whether taking the person to dinner is a gift or not is precisely what jjkrkwood is looking for so as not to scare the guy away or put too much pressure on him to feel obligated to reciprocate with something.

Decatur Guy Proficient

Decatur Guy

Posted
Posted
Unless, of course, the relationship "goes South"; at that point, you have an item, not a memento, for the Goodwill people as a charitable donation.

 

If the relationship "goes South," that means they are moving to the likes of Alabama, Georgia, etc.

purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
Posted

Cashmere sweater and Mont Blanc pens may be a bit expensive but JJ has confessed to giving escort sessions as gifts to his friends so given that standard, I didn't find either to be particularly extravagant for someone you are dating and care enough about to try not to scare them away. I will frequently go out to a nice dinner with an escort and I consider that as much a gift to myself as I do a token to the escort. I feel the same way about dinner as a gift. If I am going along, then I am buying a meal. Now if i give a certificate for dinner at a nice restaurant and I am not going, then that is a gift, that would be appropriate for a business associate or some in-laws. For the person who is however transiently one of the most important people in your life, use a little flare. As to scaring him off, if this is going to scare him off, he probably would never have gotten into the sling and handcuffs, so probably cheaper to find that out sooner than later.

wayout Community Regular

wayout

Posted
Posted

What purplekow wrote about dinner being a gift or not from his perspective got me thinking that maybe a good compromise would be to give a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant. It is a gift and gives the recipient the chance to invite the gift giver out to dinner. If he does or doesn't will be quite telling I guess. If he does invite you out to dine with him at the restaurant, it would help to alleviates any pressure he may have felt for reciprocating with a gift to you.

 

While a gift certificate isn't necessarily very romantic or has much flare, it could be appropriate for the stage of the relationship and only the OP knows that for sure. I've always believed that it is the thought that counts when it comes to giving a gift so it doesn't have to be extravagant (and conversely it doesn't have to be cheap either) but it should be appropriate to the message you want to send. If the message is you want to have sex after dinner, then something in addition to the gift certificate that is a bit more erotic would be appropriate :)

jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

Posted
  • Author
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I am in complete agreement with you.

 

I guess what you guys are saying that is taking a person to dinner is more like a Date than a gift. Perhaps, but with only a few months into the relationship, for me, a date where I would be spending over $150 per person on dinner is more than the NORMAL dating protocol that I would apply (Applebees, TGIF, Red Lobster). The reason I decided on dinner is because for THIS guy, dinner is an "experience". He loves food, great service, special atmosphere, etc. For me, dinner is just going out to eat something so I wont be hungry.... I can take it or leave it. So, for this reason, I thought it would be an appropriate gift, but wasnt sure if it was "enough", and you guys more than answered that question in this thread. As I said, I also did buy a little something extra to throw in. Geesh, it was much easier being "single".....

Cooper Grand Master

Cooper

Posted
Posted
As I said, I also did buy a little something extra to throw in. Geesh, it was much easier being "single".....

 

JJ... It gets a lot easiier... My bf and I have been together for over 4 years. We know each other so well that purchasing gifts isn't a guessing game... One of the things we're doing for Christmas is having dinner at a restaurant that's very special to both of us... Enjoy your dinner with your special friend.... Cheers! to many Christmases together.

bluboy Enthusiast

bluboy

Posted
Posted

Does anyone see any irony is asking for boyfriend advice on the escort site? I truly hope that when I get my boyfriend, my relatinship with daddysreviews.com is over. Lol. Blu

jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

Posted
  • Author
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JJ... It gets a lot easiier... My bf and I have been together for over 4 years. We know each other so well that purchasing gifts isn't a guessing game... One of the things we're doing for Christmas is having dinner at a restaurant that's very special to both of us... Enjoy your dinner with your special friend.... Cheers! to many Christmases together.

 

Coop, I agree. It does get easier. I am newly single after sudden death ended my 22 year partnership, and my partner and I had NO issues with gift giving. It came easy and was always enjoyable and surprising...

Its getting to THAT place which is the hard part. But I go day by day. Things happen for a reason, and also DONT happen for a reason. The person watching over us know much better than we do what is good for us.... Cheers to you and yours as Well for happiness and longevity....

Phil_musc Mentor

Phil_musc

Posted
Posted

JJ, you guys seem to be taking things a little slow I think, but that might be the by-product that at least one of you has been around the track a few times. I forget how fragile and tentative these relationship things can be in the early stages. Still, you've been seeing him for a few months - you should have some idea of what is right for him (and you). Lots of good advice has been offered here - even by seemingly contradictory posters. PK, however, I have to get on your gift list if you think a cashmere sweater is just a small gift. Those things go for a pretty hefty price tag in Philly. If JJ gets him one, what happens if the recipient (who being gay is probably fully aware of the cost of such an item) freaks at the extravagance - might even feel guilty if no gift is to be offered reciprocally) Then our wonderful JJ will be left back-pedaling and having to claim that he picked it up at this amazing second hand shop or at a church jumble sale for a mere five dollars.

 

JJ, if dinner is something that is a non-event for you but is for your guy (and you already got him the funny gift) I think you've got it covered quite well. Do the nice meal - the fun gift should make it special. Hope it goes well for you - we're all rooting for your success.

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