Traveling Dilemna

[LurkerSpeaks]

I am having a little travel dilemna and thought I would ask for advice here. For the past two years, I have traveled to Rio in November, on or around my birthday..Both trips have been with a good friend and travel partner. We get along great together, we both like the same type of boys, and we enjoy each others company. The problem, however, is this:. This year marks a very special birthday for me==50 years old... I do NOT want to be home for this birthday. I can't think of any place I would rather be than in Rio.. but the problem is that my travel friend is unable to make it in November this year... We could possibly do it earlier, around September, but that would not solve the birthday issue..OR, I could just go by myself for my birthday. After two trips to Rio, I think I would be ok going it alone from a safety standpoint, but it is always nice to have someone along to do the "non-sauna" things with..I don't speak Portuguese, so even if i was to meet a boy I really like, we still wouldnt be able to converse very much...

 

On a side note, another reason why it is important for me to be "pre-occupied" for my birthday (besides turning 50), is that I shared my birthday with my mother, and since she passed away 4 years ago, a birthday alone has meant time to dwell on the loss...

 

So, should I go alone and brave the boys...should I go earlier in the year with my travel buddy, or should i just shut up and get on with my life.. LOL

 

Thanks for any and all suggestions

[Strafe13]

My 2 cents

 

Lurker,

I've been to Rio several times in the past year and a half and I can sympathize with your dilemma as Rio's a place I never want to leave when it's time to board that plane to return to the U.S. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and I can see why you'd want to be away on that day of all days to distract yourself from the emotional significance of your multiple anniversaries.

 

Normally I'd say go along even if your good friend can't make it since you could have SO much fun. But, I've also traveled alone to Rio and sometimes it can get pretty lonely during those times when you're not partying it up at the saunas or clubs. Coupled with the fact that you don't speak Portuguese, you may unintentionally find yourself in a position where you have nothing to do but dwell on negative feelings. Eating alone for 3 meals a day and being in an empty hotel room or apartment all day before the clubs and saunas open might not be that great unless you like to be alone. Since you've been to Rio several times, I imagine you've done most of the touristy stuff. Unless you're a loner by nature, this trip might not be the best idea given the emotional significance of that time.

 

On the silver lining perspective, there is a chance, however, that depending on the hotel you stay at, you could meet Americans, Canadians, Brits or other English-speaking travelers to hang out with, but that's a shot in the dark. You could also try communicating on http://www.gaytravelbrazil.com and see if any of those members are planning a trip around your birthday. An even better idea if you just feel the need to be in Rio at that time is to buy one of those Rosetta Stone or other type of language courses (they're a bit expensive, though) or take Portuguese classes if they're available in your community. You've got 6 months between now and then and that's enough time, if you really dedicate yourself, to becoming functional and conversational in the language. Then you could go it alone and speak to people and be much more social if you end up going alone.

 

I suspect that I haven't said anything here that you couldn't have thought of on your own, but I figured I'd respond anyway, since your post was so touching and I felt like I could relate. Best of luck to you.

[+ azdr0710]

go earlier with your friend and go do something else out of town on your birthday....

 

and, of course, get on with your life...as we all should!.....

[+ purplekow]

I agree with the good doctor, at least i think it is arizona doctor, but in any case I agree with him. Hit up Rio with your friend. And for your birthday, perhaps a long weekend in NYC or Los Angeles or Vegas where the language barrier wont be a problem and a young friend can usually be located with a bit of imaginative exploration.

[adriano46]

Lurker,

 

Since I have "been there, seen it, done it" on the 50th Birthday, and know about loss around important personal dates, I feel you should heed the advice of others here -- go to Rio with your travel friend and enjoy yourself when it is convenient for both of you, (and where you have the enjoyment of a friend for conversation, meals and down time when not partying it up in the saunas or on the beach), and for your 50th, do something closer to home or at least somewhere where you are not facing a language hurdle and plan a special time with some intimate friends and/or a nice personal gift of a great escort for a 2-3 day party in a lively city you enjoy here.

[KMEM]

I agree with the good doctor, at least i think it is arizona doctor, but in any case I agree with him. Hit up Rio with your friend. And for your birthday, perhaps a long weekend in NYC or Los Angeles or Vegas where the language barrier wont be a problem and a young friend can usually be located with a bit of imaginative exploration.

 

I think NYC, Los Angeles and Vegas all have language barriers as well as economic ones.

 

Go with your friend to Rio. Get out of town in the US on your actual birthday but, as PK suggests, somewhere with a lot of "activity" would be best.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[edjames]

Go...

 

I'd say go to Rio on your birthday and celebrate it in style!

 

I echo the advice of others to consider hiring an escort if you feel awkward dining alone, etc.

 

ED

[LurkerSpeaks]

Thank you for everyone who has offered advice so far.. Let me throw in a few more "variables". I do still work so taking a week off in September and then more time in November is difficult to do. Also.. my vacations are pretty much my big "splurge" each year as far as discretionary spending..If I do decide to go to Rio in September, then there won't be much left in the "discretionary" fund for November...At least not for anything major.. Have done Vegas too many times for it to be special..From my experience, LA is more of a city to visit with a companion than alone...

 

I am used to doing most things alone..so "being alone" is not so much of an issue as just being COMPLETELY alone in a foreign land where very few people you meet can actually speak the same languange..Dining alone is fine.. sightseeing or theater type events I would prefer some company for...

[+ Axiom2001]

Lurker,

 

Since I have "been there, seen it, done it" on the 50th Birthday, and know about loss around important personal dates, I feel you should heed the advice of others here -- go to Rio with your travel friend and enjoy yourself when it is convenient for both of you, (and where you have the enjoyment of a friend for conversation, meals and down time when not partying it up in the saunas or on the beach), and for your 50th, do something closer to home or at least somewhere where you are not facing a language hurdle and plan a special time with some intimate friends and/or a nice personal gift of a great escort for a 2-3 day party in a lively city you enjoy here.

 

Lurker, I've read up to this post and thought I'd chime in. I like the advice of going to Rio de janeiro earlier with your friend and enjoy immensely; then return to the States and do as suggested. Along with cities suggested to travel and to enjoy your milestone-- I'd suggest San Francisco. Usually it is "summertime" in October in Northern California; thus you can enjoy the out-of-doors as well as what awaits and affords you inside. Do engage the company of one or two of SF's most esteemed escorts as well to include in long, cherished memories.

 

While in Rio de janeiro, my favorite world's city (7visits during the 2000's)-- have a pre-festa celebration. - - - -

[Guest greatness]

Traveling alone

 

It is not fun to travel alone unless you are into arts and museums. Go with your friends and do something special with your friend on your birthday. There are a lot of places. You can go to a nice restaurant or go to see a play. I'm glad that you have wonderful friends to do things with and I think that is the best birthday gift~~. Arizona is beautiful~~ and make sure you vote in November~~ Kisses and hugs~~

[+ Lucky]

greatness, I'll bet that you have lots of hot friends to take you out on your birthday

[Guest greatness]

sadly

 

no I don't.. I spend my birthday alone and I don't celebrate my birthday.. I've never had a lot of friends. You seem to have a lot of friends like Charlie, Oliver and others here so that's great.. Even more you have a loving partner. You are really Lucky, Lucky. Anyways, Lurker I hope it works out and you have a wonderful birthday~~~

 

greatness, I'll bet that you have lots of hot friends to take you out on your birthday

[LurkerSpeaks]

fate strikes again...

 

The very day I first posted this (yesterday), my travel friend was informed by his job that he would not be able to take anymore time off for the rest of this calendar year..So, unless things change for him, it means no September or November trip to Rio...So, looks like I am on my own..

 

I know that there is always a good chance that there will be someone from here (or MER or gaytravelbrazil) in Rio during the time I had planned on going.. It will be approximately 1-2 weeks before thanksgiving. I am just being overly nervous because I have met quite a few fellow posters during my travels and during their's..most of them were very nice people.. But to mesh with someone to be able to spend most of a week long period requires a certain "bond of camraderie" that is hard to come by..

 

Oh well, time will tell what the anniversario will deliver..Thanks again to all who offered advice.. It was/is all taken into consideration..

 

Lurker

[Diverdan]

Don't Give UP

 

Sorry to hear about your taveling partner not being able to get off anytime. You've gotten a lot of good advise, but I know how hard it is to make these decisions. I have had to do a lot of international travleing for business, and that often means being alone. I try to take in as many of the "sites" as possible, and sometimes if you have been somewhere before, you can explore new territory. I have also had some luck with gay tour operators being able to find me guides (not escorts) who were wonderful to spend time with and see the sites. I have done that in China, Thailand, Germany, but don't know about Brazil. The only time I was there I was in Sao Paulo, not Rio. I did meet some very HOT brazilian guys while there, but they were not what I would call tour guides... but they had many other fine attributes. Good luck and hope you can make the trip work for you.

[Guest greatness]

You never know

 

Somebody will come along and you might have a blast~~ I hope something works out~~

[+ Charlie]

I have done lots of world travel alone, and I understand that it is usually not as much fun as being with a simpatico companion, especially in places where you don't speak the language; that's why, as I grow older, I prefer to go to countries that I know well, where I can speak the local language. Have you considered celebrating your birthday someplace like London or Sydney, where there are large, vibrant gay communities (and escorts), where you can make new acquaintances more easily? Or Amsterdam, where almost any gay man speaks English? Even in Berlin and Paris you can make lots of contacts and have fun, without speaking fluent German or French. Don't stay home and mope on your birthday.

[LurkerSpeaks]

I like the direction this is heading now. I need someplace where english isnt a problem, where I can use miles (60k) for a coach ticket, where expenses, including boys and hotel, wont be outrageously expensive. And where there is an easily accessible twink population. That isnt asking too much, is it?

[Diverdan]

Consider Chicago !!

 

Lurker,

You might want to consider Chicago. Early November can be nice weather, and there are good hotel rates and lots of boys of every shape, size and variety for your consideration!!!!!!! A lot of guys on this Forum can give you suggestions too.

[LurkerSpeaks]

I have never been to Europe...I have always wanted to go, but have heard that it is very expensive for everything there.. from hotels, to attractions, to dining, to boys...Is there part of Europe that is relatively inexpensive anymore? That is one reason that Rio is so attractive...for the equivilent of approx 35$US, you can hire a sauna boy...so for less than two Montreal back room dances, you can have about 45minutes of full sex in Rio...

 

My airline miles can get me to Rio, or Amsterdam, or Madrid..and they are all approx the same number of hours flying (15)....What other suggestions come to mind for a 50th bday celebration..??

[trilingual]

I think you'll be surprised how many people in Rio speak at English, at least somewhat. I wouldn't let your lack of Portuguese keep you from traveling to Brazil on your own. Who knows, you might pick up some Portuguese if you're not constantly in company with an English-speaking companion? You don't really need much Portuguese to do the museums, browse the bookstores, or go to the movies during the daytime (Rio is a good movie town). At the saunas there are always guys or clients who speak at least some English and are willing to translate. So go, and enjoy, and if you can meet up with some of the other guys who may be traveling to Rio at the same time as you are.

[+ Axiom2001]

I have traveled to Rio during this decade and have had positive experiences, but in my knowing myself, I need to be with someone who can speak the local/native language. (I don't write this to discourage you!)

 

Currently, if my memory is accurate, http://www.gaytravelbrazil.com (Drey's/Tri's site) has a local guide now who speaks Ingles and serves as a guide. Perhaps you could engage his services for some of your outings as well as have him arrange a superhot "guy" (your selection and choice) to be with all day of that glorious and impending one!

 

----------------

In regard to European cities-- yes the costs for almost everything would be much greater than those that you'd encounter in Rio de janeiro although the dollar is not that great in Brazil now either-- but better than its Euro counterpart.

 

I wish you the best Lurker because I have "been there," in your shoes!!

[TxAlphaDog]

Have you considered celebrating your birthday someplace like London or Sydney, where there are large, vibrant gay communities (and escorts), where you can make new acquaintances more easily?

 

I think Sydney is an excellent idea! I was there for almost 3 months for work, and I loved every moment of it! There are certainly a lot of escorts who will be to your liking :-) Plus I found most of the people in Sydney are indeed very friendly. Lots to do and see there, too. will your miles get you there? November is a GREAT time to visit Sydney. It's their Spring time.

[Guest greatness]

hmm

 

I think Australian guys are hot!! What a good idea for Lurker~~

 

I think Sydney is an excellent idea! I was there for almost 3 months for work, and I loved every moment of it! There are certainly a lot of escorts who will be to your liking :-) Plus I found most of the people in Sydney are indeed very friendly. Lots to do and see there, too. will your miles get you there? November is a GREAT time to visit Sydney. It's their Spring time.

[+ Axiom2001]

I think Sydney is an excellent idea! I was there for almost 3 months for work, and I loved every moment of it! There are certainly a lot of escorts who will be to your liking :-) Plus I found most of the people in Sydney are indeed very friendly. Lots to do and see there, too. will your miles get you there? November is a GREAT time to visit Sydney. It's their Spring time.

 

Applause go out to you TxAlphaDog! I'll strongly and warmly agree with your recommendation. When I lived in Melbourne for two years a few years back, I always loved traveling to Sydney and had wished that I had lived there instead of in "Mel bun!"

 

Now I hear that my city has changed greatly and for the better. One of these days I hope to venture back to that southern part of our world! -

[+ Axiom2001]

Hope you let of know of your final decision and if possible write about "How you Spent Your Fiftieth" a few days or weeks afterwards!

 

A supporter along with the rest of those who responded..... - - -