Rant: when good masseurs go downhill

[Mhs]

I recently had a disappointing and frustrating experience…wanted to see if anyone has words of wisdom.

I’d seen a pair of guys for 4-hand massage several times. Always a great experience. They took a break, my schedule got crazy, etc etc…but recently our calendars aligned and I met up with them again after about a year and a half. 

Oh, man. It was like a totally different duo. They’re using baby oil now. While they had previously given a really great mostly-therapeutic massage, this time it went into escort territory barely 10 minutes in. (And even that was like borderline uncomfortably forceful.) I’d requested a hour, and I was back in my car exactly 40 minutes later. And the worst part was that my coat reeked of the incense they were burning. 

I’m not including their names on purpose - I know everyone has off days, chemistry doesn’t work, etc - but it’s just annoying because they used to be very good. 

Thanks for letting me rant.

[Nightowl]

I feel your pain.  I’ve got a similar situation with one of my regular providers. I’ll be interested in the advice you get from others on the forum.  I want to raise my concerns the next time I see him but am a little hesitant.

[SDuncan]

I have a great guy who has remained great but I need to explicitly say that for a 90 min massage, I really do need like 60 min to be a deep tissue therapeutic massage and I'm willing to enter escort territory for 30 min. I think I am different in that regard. Most of his clients want 90 min of escort territory.

[+ JamesB]

1 hour ago, Mhs said:

I recently had a disappointing and frustrating experience…wanted to see if anyone has words of wisdom.

I’d seen a pair of guys for 4-hand massage several times. Always a great experience. They took a break, my schedule got crazy, etc etc…but recently our calendars aligned and I met up with them again after about a year and a half. 

Oh, man. It was like a totally different duo. They’re using baby oil now. While they had previously given a really great mostly-therapeutic massage, this time it went into escort territory barely 10 minutes in. (And even that was like borderline uncomfortably forceful.) I’d requested a hour, and I was back in my car exactly 40 minutes later. And the worst part was that my coat reeked of the incense they were burning. 

I’m not including their names on purpose - I know everyone has off days, chemistry doesn’t work, etc - but it’s just annoying because they used to be very good. 

Thanks for letting me rant.

 I’ve had quite a few experiences like this myself, I’ve been hiring for too long. In some cases, they stop putting in the effort to retain clients and settle into doing the bare minimum while still getting paid. In others, it seems more like burnout than anything else.

From what I’ve seen, once things reach that point, they rarely turn around. It’s usually better to move on and find someone who’s more engaged and consistent.

[jeezifonly]

People change. Often, their work improves with the life experience that change brings. 

Sometimes not. 

[+ Jamie21]

5 hours ago, SDuncan said:

I have a great guy who has remained great but I need to explicitly say that for a 90 min massage, I really do need like 60 min to be a deep tissue therapeutic massage and I'm willing to enter escort territory for 30 min. I think I am different in that regard. Most of his clients want 90 min of escort territory.

This. Be clear about what you want. I think I’m good at reading a client’s desires but sometimes a little clarity before the session helps me to understand what they really want. 

[d.anders]

Giving a great massage requires a lot of energy. Providing porn sex requires a ton of energy. I don't know how anyone can sustain both, while making a career out of it. I'm burned out just from reading about members sexual appetites.