Cancelling or Rescheduling

[StarQualityLuke]

Hey Guys! 

I wanted to reach out....

  I'm a therapist and a damn good one, some even say I'm exceptional, I just say I'm genuine & skilled... This past week I have been sick with a horrible cold, I normally don't get sick that's the truth.   However, it got me, and I'm still trying to get over it, but now it's all congestion in my nose. So yes severe sniffles. 

It is not Covid.  But... I could still pass it on. 

I had the chills, I had a sore throat, a little bit of a cough, and now a lot of congestion, not to mention sneezing.    So the last couple days, I've had to cancel or reschedule my clients because I had the forethought in my mind. "I don't want to pass this around.... I want to do the right thing."    The majority of my clients totally understood and had no problem rescheduling for the following week.   There was 1 client that wasnt so receptive. 

I was met with a message from him... 

"It's ok Luke, I'm used to it, you guys are all alike, my age, my looks, you flake out on me."

I, of course, went on to text him a little bit more, explaining the situation, then I also called and left a voicemail so he could hear my voice and hear the congestion.   I did cancel on him once before because of a reason, and I believe it was because I had a cold, and it's because it's winter.... Being in this business when you're sick, you can't afford to have someone on your table and pass it along.   I have had several people come here with the sniffles, and then they say, I have a sore throat, but I'm ok, I'm ok, then I'm wondering, why are you even here? 

 

Anyways, the point of this is, did I do the right thing or should I just accepted the client tomorrow with me being sick with the chances of him getting it?  He told me his health issues, and that's what my big concern was, his immunity is a lot lower than mine. 

So he said, he has blocked me, and that's fine, I gave him a discount I went above and beyond, but still anything I would say, he thought it was all about him, and because he was old, or he doesn't look very good, or he's unhealthy that I am flaking on him, and I'm not clearly I'm not.   Those were his words. 

 

I always say and I quote myself

" I always try to do the right thing, but then I always end up getting shit on "

He made me feel so horrible that I'm sick, not that I'm not already feeling horrible. 

 

So what do you guys think? 

Thank you. 

 

Note:   We are human, we get sick, things come up, that's why you cancel or you have to reschedule.    I truly don't see the problem because whenever I have to cancel or reschedule, I always give at least a 2 hour window, at least, unless something is unavoidable that comes up... 

 

 

[MassageCommunityMember]

I think you did the right thing.   I hope you feel better soon!

Edited Thursday at 08:55 PM by MassageCommunityMember

[jmichaeliii]

You did the right thing.  As a client, I had a day where I had a cold on appointment day and I left it to the provider to decide.  I felt fine but as you are saying, was congested. 

[StarQualityLuke]

6 minutes ago, MassageCommunityMember said:

I think you did the right thing.   I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much.  I appreciate that. 

[Nightowl]

You did the right thing.  You could also have told him you felt like shit and didn’t want to work.

[StarQualityLuke]

3 minutes ago, jmichaeliii said:

You did the right thing.  As a client, I had a day where I had a cold on appointment day and I left it to the provider to decide.  I felt fine but as you are saying, was congested. 

I just clearly do not understand why he went off on me other than the fact that other guys have done this to him and maybe the other guys weren't honest.   I read all about how people have been scammed, and I don't understand why people are in business, sometimes they don't show up for an appointment, I'm talking about the therapist or sometimes they're not where they're supposed to be, how are they supposed to make a financial living? 

 

So unfortunately, I get the brunt of everyone's past, the mistakes that happened to them, so they think I'm gonna be just like the others. But I'm not. 

[StarQualityLuke]

Just now, Nightowl said:

You did the right thing.  You could also have told him you felt like shit and didn’t want to work.

Well of course, I did do that, but I told him in a very professional way.  If you're sick to the point where it's not good, then you should not be working, but unfortunately, in today's society, everyone goes to work when they're sick and passes it along to anyone and everyone. 

[+ Jamie21]

I’ve had exactly the same thing happen to me. I try to be a professional in this industry (it’s not easy). I keep my commitments, am always in a fit state to see clients (never drink, never do drugs), I provide more than I advertise (always aim to exceed expectations). I never ask clients for pictures or discriminate on their looks or age or anything. If I’m unwell I’ll cancel and offer the client an alternative. I had a client tell me I was cancelling because they weren’t fit enough when the reason was I was unwell. He simply didn’t believe me. I couldn’t even challenge him on it because he blocked me as soon as he’d sent me his ‘poor me it always happens to me…you guys are all the same’ message. If that’s his view of things then everything that happens to him will be seen through that lens. It simply reinforces his mistaken world view. I think these guys have personal issues to overcome before they’re ready to come for a massage. It’s a problem avoided for me. I’m glad he revealed what he’s like. 

You did the right thing. You can’t please everyone. Consider it a bullet dodged. Work with people who aren’t full of self pity. 

[StarQualityLuke]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’ve had exactly the same thing happen to me. I try to be a professional in this industry (it’s not easy). I keep my commitments, am always in a fit state to see clients (never drink, never do drugs), I provide more than I advertise (always aim to exceed expectations). I never ask clients for pictures or discriminate on their looks or age or anything. If I’m unwell I’ll cancel and offer the client an alternative. I had a client tell me I was cancelling because they weren’t fit enough when the reason was I was unwell. He simply didn’t believe me. I couldn’t even challenge him on it because he blocked me as soon as he’d sent me his ‘poor me it always happens to me…you guys are all the same’ message. If that’s his view of things then everything that happens to him will be seen through that lens. It simply reinforces his mistaken world view. I think these guys have personal issues to overcome before they’re ready to come for a massage. It’s a problem avoided for me. I’m glad he revealed what he’s like. 

You did the right thing. You can’t please everyone. Consider it a bullet dodged. Work with people who aren’t full of self pity. 

I agree.. And this client has showed me who he was because last time I had to cancel on him again because I had a bad cold and I normally don't get sick, but this winter has been not fun.   He did the same routine.  2 weeks later, he comes back when he's schedule again..  As I said, I'm genuine and real, I don't care what you look like, I don't care how much you weigh, I'm here to do the work and help relax you, your mind and your body. 

 

Thank you for your input and I'm sorry that you had the experience as well. 

 

Unfortunately, it's a lot of other gentlemen, guys before us have created such a negative experience for them in their eyes and in their minds, and they hold onto that, and one little small red flag like a cancellation or reschedule they go off, they think it's happening all over again.   And.... Even when you try to explain, it's like that they don't want to hear it.  At that point, there's nothing more you can do 🙃

Edited Friday at 02:11 AM by StarQualityLuke

[Bluefin]

Reasonable cancellation and rescheduling is normal. That client is unreasonable. It’s just a massage - sure we look forward to it and it sucks to have to reschedule but it’s not the end of the world. 

I would much prefer a provider reschedule then power through while feeling like crap and potentially passing his cold on to me. 
 

You did the right thing. 

[StarQualityLuke]

5 minutes ago, Bluefin said:

Reasonable cancellation and rescheduling is normal. That client is unreasonable. It’s just a massage - sure we look forward to it and it sucks to have to reschedule but it’s not the end of the world. 

I would much prefer a provider reschedule then power through while feeling like crap and potentially passing his cold on to me. 
 

You did the right thing. 

Thank you, I am in total agreement with you... 

I'm sure as heck not looking for pity, I'm just looking for confirmation that I did do the right thing, I'm sure someone would say you should have just went through with the appointment and got him sick. That's not the key here. 🙃

[ketut]

You did the right thing and if I was your client I would appreciate the reach out due to your illness.  I’ve cancelled appointments when I’m under the weather because I don’t want to get therapist sick and appreciate when they cancel for the same reason.  Makes me think more highly of the provider. 

[GG07v]

1 hour ago, StarQualityLuke said:

I, of course, went on to text him a little bit more, explaining the situation, then I also called and left a voicemail so he could hear my voice and hear the congestion.   I did cancel on him once before because of a reason, and I believe it was because I had a cold, and it's because it's winter.... Being in this business when you're sick, you can't afford to have someone on your table and pass it along.   I have had several people come here with the sniffles, and then they say, I have a sore throat, but I'm ok, I'm ok, then I'm wondering, why are you even here? 

I don't blame you for canceling. I've done the same to masseurs or shied away from meeting one because I felt a bit under the weather. I do wonder, was the first time you canceled on him recent? It doesn't seem like you are, but I do understand why he may think you're blowing him off. To paraphrase Goldfinger, "Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, the third time it’s enemy action."

[Nightowl]

1 hour ago, StarQualityLuke said:

Well of course, I did do that, but I told him in a very professional way.  If you're sick to the point where it's not good, then you should not be working, but unfortunately, in today's society, everyone goes to work when they're sick and passes it along to anyone and everyone. 

If you told him you weren’t feeling well enough to work, that should have been enough.  If he doesn’t care about his own health he should still respect that you care about yours.

[StarQualityLuke]

38 minutes ago, ketut said:

You did the right thing and if I was your client I would appreciate the reach out due to your illness.  I’ve cancelled appointments when I’m under the weather because I don’t want to get therapist sick and appreciate when they cancel for the same reason.  Makes me think more highly of the provider. 

Thank you😁

It's good to know there are other people that think like me.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, StarQualityLuke said:

"It's ok Luke, I'm used to it, you guys are all alike, .... you flake out on me."

This man is self-determined to invite as many people to his pity party as possible.  If he bought a lottery ticket, he'd complain if he won.

HE cancelled YOU.  It's good that he blocked you.  Forget him and move on to men that appreciate you.

Edited Friday at 04:14 AM by Vegas_Millennial

[dcguy20]

You did the right thing.

I had a massage appointment last Saturday that I canceled first thing that morning as I woke up with a cold. I paid the fee because I canceled.  I doubt I was believed though. Almost one week later I'm still sick. No taste or smell. I've tested negative for Covid. 

[StarQualityLuke]

3 hours ago, GG07v said:

I don't blame you for canceling. I've done the same to masseurs or shied away from meeting one because I felt a bit under the weather. I do wonder, was the first time you canceled on him recent? It doesn't seem like you are, but I do understand why he may think you're blowing him off. To paraphrase Goldfinger, "Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, the third time it’s enemy action."

No, it was several months ago, but the key thing is, he said the same thing to me when I had to cancel, he made it all about how all the guys are all like because of his looks and that he's old and his health.    I tried my very best to talk with him via text I even called and left a voicemail, but he still went on and on. 🥺

[StarQualityLuke]

11 hours ago, dcguy20 said:

You did the right thing.

I had a massage appointment last Saturday that I canceled first thing that morning as I woke up with a cold. I paid the fee because I canceled.  I doubt I was believed though. Almost one week later I'm still sick. No taste or smell. I've tested negative for Covid. 

Well, you did do the right thing, there are times were clients cancelled and they don't pay anything, and I don't expect them to, I guess the real serious ones will.  I hope you're feeling better 😁

Edited Friday at 11:12 AM by StarQualityLuke

[StarQualityLuke]

2 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

This man is self-determined to invite as many people to his pity party as possible.  If he bought a lottery ticket, he'd complain if he won.

He cancelled you.  It's good that he blocked you.  Forget him and move on to men that appreciate you.

Yes, I totally agree, but I still have a feeling he's going to text me again in the future in the very near future.

[StarQualityLuke]

3 hours ago, Nightowl said:

If you told him you weren’t feeling well enough to work, that should have been enough.  If he doesn’t care about his own health he should still respect that you care about yours.

Yes, agreed 110%

[mike carey]

@StarQualityLuke, I think his behaviour is inexcusable. Client or provider, cancelling if you're ill and potentially contagious is the only sensible and professional thing to do. There are always people who will be determined to misunderstand you, but this case goes further than I could imagine possible. I can't fathom someone being so insecure that they project their own self-perception of inadequacy as your reason for cancelling rather than accept what you stated. I think you dodged the proverbial bullet. I can imagine them complaining that every aspect of a meeting that they found any minor fault with as being a deliberate slight against them. That sounds exhausting.

As an aside, I think the calm and measured way you described the situation and responded to members' comments and questions will do much to burnish opinions of you in this forum. How you dealt with, and ultimately disengage from, one spiteful and irrational client says volumes about your professional care and responsibility.

[StarQualityLuke]

Thank you.. 

Well, believe it or not, I am human, I make mistakes. I'm not perfect, I set out to be 110% on board with my craft and what I do. 

But,  there has to be room for error right? 

I honestly think I couldn't do anything the right way with this client, it doesn't matter what I would say, and you're right, one small thing could go wrong, not his way during a session, and he would blame me, or just be very upset. 

I truly understand when people get upset and disappointed when you have to cancel or you have to reschedule it's happened to me too by the client.... So I get it, but I don't get so upset and make it so horrible for the other party to feel horrible. 

[viewing ownly]

I concur with the masses that you should look after your health and not risk getting clients sick. However, in the case of this guy who made a snarky remark to you for cancelling on him, you mentioned that you'd cancelled on him once before. It makes complete sense that this guy is upset if you'd never seen him at all, going 0 for 2 with his attempts at seeing you. 

The best thing you should've done was simply brush off his venting by ignoring him (and get healthy). I saw a guy who subsequently cancelled on me twice with my future hiring attempts. The hint was taken!

[Boaxxx]

You absolutely did the right thing and on the bright side you only got shit on once. 😉