Using RM for other purposes?

[Wings246]

The main value of RM is for clients and providers to find each other.  Does the platform serve other unintended functions?  For example, I can imagine people using it as a dating/hookup app.  After all, it is a playground for people who share common interests and objectives.

1.  Do providers look for other providers for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

2.  Do clients look for other clients for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

[marylander1940]

15 minutes ago, Wings246 said:

The main value of RM is for clients and providers to find each other.  Does the platform serve other unintended functions?  For example, I can imagine people using it as a dating/hookup app.  After all, it is a playground for people who share common interests and objectives.

1.  Do providers look for other providers for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

2.  Do clients look for other clients for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

Without a doubt I'm sure those two things happen. Providers do plenty of networking and sometimes that involves having free sex with each other. Also many guys have a client profile and use it to hook up with others.

[DMonDude]

A provider i hire often has showed me his RM inbox before. Definitely have seen plenty of other providers I recognized from my RM homepage (and even other providers i regularly hire) in his DMs. Either wanting to hook up with him, hire him themself, or trying to set up group scenarios for their own clients. Provider on provider action is definitely happening, and probably a lot. They're all the hottest guys who probably often work together for porn/their OnlyFans content, for clients who like to hire multiple providers at once, or just for their own enjoyment with someone who's more on their own attractiveness level. So it just makes sense. I also definitely have heard providers who are more masseur service oriented, hire other providers to see what other guys are doing and figure out skills to incorporate into their own service to stay competitive or to network to find other providers to do 4 hand massage with.

I'm very curious about if there's ever clients who have filled out their RM profile and posted pics and gotten messaged by a provider to hook up (unpaid interaction, genuine interest from the provider). One provider i vibed well with and we hung out and talked for a long time after our session, he told me i'm actually his type and someone he'd take home if we ran into each other at the club or something. Which was shocking to me cause I'm incredibly average and he's obscenely hot, by traditional attractiveness standards. I wouldn't dare be like "ok so let's do this for free then" cause that seems really rude since we started our interactions as business. However, it made me curious how many of the client profiles i see with full profiles/pics might be getting hot experiences with providers, initiated by the provider who just actually is into them. Makes me want to give it a go and see what happens, but having my pics (especially face) on RM would have me really nervous...

[viewing ownly]

From provider to provider, absolutely. From client to provider, absolutely not. To bluntly quote a provider to me years ago as a novice when I tried to offer up a massage exchange, "I don't do this shit for free. You're a joke". He spelled "you're" wrong, but the message was received loud and clear. 

[BaronArtz]

I am well connected to a a few excellent providers here in NYC.  I see these guys fairly often.  It is rare that I venture out of this core group.

I use  RM mostly for entertainment just to look at pictures and videos of hot guys.  Sort of like an Instagram for adults, if you will.  

I have met a few clients through this forum though.  Just for lunch or drinks.  But that is rare.

[Simon Suraci]

All of the above happens. I reach out from time to time for the following:

1) Client wants a group and I’m organizing and vetting the talent. It’s mostly RentMen, but some from RentMasseur.

2) Massage exchanges

3) To hire massage for market research

4) To hire massage for personal enjoyment

5) Connect with other masseurs to offer 4-hand massages in various cities.

6) Haven’t yet, but sometimes I consider hiring for my partner and I for a special occasion.

7) Haven’t yet, but if/when I make content, I would reach out for collaborations.

😎 Networking. Friendships form. I invite people with good reputations to invite-only provider groups. Sometimes the groups meet in person.

Basically, anything business related. While some social aspects are part of it, it all stems from business I am currently doing, hope to do in the future, or for some professional development aspect like sharing knowledge and learning, mentoring and being mentored, and for safety in numbers. The more connected we are, the better we can look out for one another.

For 3 and 4, almost always as a regular Joe, not indicating in any way that I am another provider.

Some providers hire me. I don’t let on that I know who they are. I just go about my usual work and treat them like I would another client.

I do not use the sites to solicit unpaid hookups. It’s unprofessional and annoying. We waste so much time dealing with clients wanting/expecting low or no fee service all the time. Sometimes clients make me want to scream or say I don’t do this shit for free, or you’re a joke, or things like that. Most of the time I am professional and courteous about declining.

Providers behaving in the same manner is not any better. It’s flattering, but we all know why we are here. If I want to hook up with a provider for free, I approach them on hookup apps if/when I notice them and have an interest, and visa versa they approach me. Those are the appropriate channels for arranging a non commercial hookup. Otherwise just hire the guy through RentMen if you really want to, like everyone else does. 

[big-n-tall]

I had a provider (who became a friend) show me messages from porn studios contacting him to possibly come work for the studio. He turned them all down because he didn't want the attention being in porn could bring.

The same provider would also get hit up by other providers trying to hook up for free. He again refused. He uses/used the site for business not a hook up app and mentioned this to them. He has been hired by other providers for sure. 

[+ Jamie21]

I contact other providers for work purposes, whether that’s to work together for clients or to collaborate for filming. I don’t do anything with them just for fun, it’s always got a business purpose. This is the trouble with doing sex work, getting paid for it, directly or indirectly means you feel like you’re giving away value if you have ‘free’ sex. That might sound weird to guys who don’t do sex work, and it feels strange to acknowledge it but it’s definitely a thing. 

[ReynST]

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

All of the above happens. I reach out from time to time for the following:

...

I've hired others for 2, 3, 4 and 6. 

For 6 it's been done as trades/exchanges, but with the same idea

It'd be really interesting to find someone to do 4-hands with ... but I don't know that my style works well for that. 

[DMonDude]

35 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I contact other providers for work purposes, whether that’s to work together for clients or to collaborate for filming. I don’t do anything with them just for fun, it’s always got a business purpose. This is the trouble with doing sex work, getting paid for it, directly or indirectly means you feel like you’re giving away value if you have ‘free’ sex. That might sound weird to guys who don’t do sex work, and it feels strange to acknowledge it but it’s definitely a thing. 

This makes sense to me. At the same time though, so would you say doing this work impacts your desire for "free"/casual/personal enjoyment sex (with people you choose/are attracted to) in general for you? Do you find it hard to enjoy outside of work because the thought of "i could be making X dollars for this..." is floating in the back of your head?

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

I do not use the sites to solicit unpaid hookups. It’s unprofessional and annoying. We waste so much time dealing with clients wanting/expecting low or no fee service all the time. Sometimes clients make me want to scream or say I don’t do this shit for free, or you’re a joke, or things like that. Most of the time I am professional and courteous about declining.

This is what i needed to hear to talk me out of putting my pics up on RM and hoping a provider would hit me up 😆, need that hit of reality sometimes thanks. It does blow my mind though that people ask you guys for free stuff. It's never once crossed my mind to ask providers for anything for free/cheap unless they offer that to me first. I've never gone to a restaurant and asked for free appetizers or free desserts. People are weird and the customer is not always right. Good on you for keeping your cool in those situations.

Edited Saturday at 09:33 PM by DMonDude
typo/clarification

[+ PhileasFogg]

4 hours ago, Wings246 said:

The main value of RM is for clients and providers to find each other.  Does the platform serve other unintended functions?  For example, I can imagine people using it as a dating/hookup app.  After all, it is a playground for people who share common interests and objectives.

1.  Do providers look for other providers for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

2.  Do clients look for other clients for paid and/or unpaid interactions via RM?

#1.  I definately know of providers who have discussed this with me

#2.  Someone would have to violate a confidence OR become a provided, right??   

[+ Jamie21]

15 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

This makes sense to me. At the same time though, so would you say doing this work impacts your desire for "free"/casual/personal enjoyment sex (with people you choose/are attracted to) in general for you? Do you find it hard to enjoy outside of work because the thought of "i could be making X dollars for this..." is floating in the back of your head?

Both. Mainly though it’s that I tend to want to ‘save myself’ for work sex. I do have ‘non work’ sex and there is a small element of thinking it could have been monetised but the main issue is just wanting to save my energy for work. When I took a week away on holiday recently I was somewhere where there was plenty of opportunity and time for sex but I didn’t do anything! It was a genuine holiday from work, including sex 😂. 

[Simon Suraci]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Both. Mainly though it’s that I tend to want to ‘save myself’ for work sex. I do have ‘non work’ sex and there is a small element of thinking it could have been monetised but the main issue is just wanting to save my energy for work. When I took a week away on holiday recently I was somewhere where there was plenty of opportunity and time for sex but I didn’t do anything! It was a genuine holiday from work, including sex 😂. 

Ditto Jamie‘s sentiments. It varies for me.

Some days I have poured out so much energy that whether I feel horny or not (usually not) the thought of having sex, much less spending energy finding a partner for sex, is utterly exhausting.

Other days, it doesn’t matter if I worked a lot or if most of it was sexually demanding. I am still very horny, energized, and motivated to seek out sex partners in the form of fwb, casual hookups, or indulge in some self pleasure. I love sex and I am good at it. That’s one of the many reasons I am in this line of work.

I had a conversation with another provider recently about this very subtopic. He is satisfied letting clients fulfill all his sexual needs, and he is only a masseur, not an escort. My take is that sex for work is totally different (for me). It’s not about the amount of sex, type of sex, or even who it’s with. I can never be personally satisfied with work sex because in personal sex:

- I (mutually with partners) choose who, what, when, how, and how much I want.

- I can fully indulge in my own pleasure rather than be preoccupied with professionalism.

- I express myself freely. I don’t have to be a persona or what people want me to be.

- I can say no to anyone for any reason at any time. This is personally empowering because for work, the only reasons I say no are for legitimate business reasons, not personal preferences, or because I don’t like the person, or because I don’t feel like it in the moment.

- I decide if, when, and how many times I cum. I don’t have to cum on demand in a way I personally find unsatisfying or draining.

- When I’m done, I’m done. I’m not obligated to entertain someone for the remainder of a predetermined time period. Conversely, sex can keep going longer than it typically does with clients. I often like to go a long time.

- I am not concerned with performance, being evaluated, judged, rated, or impressing someone enough to motivate them to see me again. I just do what feels right to me, as long as it’s consensual with other people.

All of these, and more, make my personal sex fulfilling to me. I can never have these when I am being paid, not even when it’s with men I am very physically attracted to. I cherish and guard my personal sex because it is necessarily more limited - because of all the reasons Jamie mentioned - than for the average healthy sexually active man. When I do have personal sex, it’s special.