When "deposits required" guys bend their rules for you.

[viewing ownly]

I had a nice experience with a "deposits required' guy, pleading my case with my track record of reliability, and told him he could verify that with reaching out to anyone I've seen, or read my reviews. I enjoyed my session, and didn't have to send an advance deposit. 

Has anyone else been in this same boat of essentially groveling to be seen by someone who has this policy in place? When I attempted a second meet-up with this guy, he wasn't interested, so I suppose that the effort on my part may not have been worth it - he rejected that second visit before discussing the financial arrangement, and I did donate in full (including gratuity) at the start. His words were "I'm not sure. I have a lot going on this weekend", which is code for "No".

[+ KensingtonHomo]

As I've mentioned before, I will do a nominal deposit - no more than $50 - with a new guy. 6 years into this hobby, I've only had one guy fuck me over. So I don't plead. The guy who fucked me over kept wanting to negotiate for more time, which equaled more money. I know myself and I don't want to spend 3 hours with someone I don't know. 

That said, I wouldn't say that someone telling you they're busy this weekend equals a lack of interest. It's the summer and people are going on vacation, have family and friends visiting, or are taking breaks from work. The guy we're seeing today is leaving on Wednesday for two weeks. We've seen him a few times so we're friendly enough that he will share that. We had a similar thing a few months ago with another guy; but we're still in contact and likely to see him soon. 

[+ ApexNomad]

2 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

I had a nice experience with a "deposits required' guy, pleading my case with my track record of reliability, and told him he could verify that with reaching out to anyone I've seen, or read my reviews. I enjoyed my session, and didn't have to send an advance deposit. 

Has anyone else been in this same boat of essentially groveling to be seen by someone who has this policy in place? When I attempted a second meet-up with this guy, he wasn't interested, so I suppose that the effort on my part may not have been worth it - he rejected that second visit before discussing the financial arrangement, and I did donate in full (including gratuity) at the start. His words were "I'm not sure. I have a lot going on this weekend", which is code for "No".

If someone has a deposit policy in place, it’s best to respect it or move on. Asking for exceptions puts them in an awkward position and can set the tone off from the start. You want your first meeting to be based on mutual trust and clear expectations, not special treatment. That way, no one feels taken advantage of later.

[Constantine]

You can estimate IQ based on which clients agree to pay a deposit.

[Simon Suraci]

8 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

If someone has a deposit policy in place, it’s best to respect it or move on. Asking for exceptions puts them in an awkward position and can set the tone off from the start. You want your first meeting to be based on mutual trust and clear expectations, not special treatment. That way, no one feels taken advantage of later.

^Simon says:

Here is a link to a comment I made on a specific provider re: this very same topic.

 

[+ nycman]

If someone says they have a "policy" of being paid in advance, I simply respond that that is a dealbreaker for me and ask if that’s a "dealbreaker" for them. If they say "yes", then I thank them for their time and I move on. I’d say about 50% say it’s a dealbreaker for them and about 50% agree to meet without being paid upfront. If they do decide to "break their policy" for me, then I make sure the money is clearly visible when they come into the room. That seems to be enough to set the skeptics at ease. I’ve had some great times with some guys who have broken their policy for me, so I think it’s worth at least asking. 

I will tell you that refusing to pay an upfront will piss some guys off. I’ve certainly been spoken down to, berated, and even threatened for refusing to pay ahead of time. The funny thing is, the more agitated a guy gets, the more I think he’s a scammer, and the more I think I just dodged a bullet. So it’s a win-win in my book.

[NipLuvr212]

1 hour ago, nycman said:

If someone says they have a "policy" of being paid in advance, I simply respond that that is a dealbreaker for me and ask if that’s a "dealbreaker" for them. If they say "yes", then I thank them for their time and I move on. I’d say about 50% say it’s a dealbreaker for them and about 50% agree to meet without being paid upfront. If they do decide to "break their policy" for me, then I make sure the money is clearly visible when they come into the room. That seems to be enough to set the skeptics at ease. I’ve had some great times with some guys who have broken their policy for me, so I think it’s worth at least asking. 

I will tell you that refusing to pay an upfront will piss some guys off. I’ve certainly been spoken down to, berated, and even threatened for refusing to pay ahead of time. The funny thing is, the more agitated a guy gets, the more I think he’s a scammer, and the more I think I just dodged a bullet. So it’s a win-win in my book.

Having been ripped off by a Montreal guy i had already met (said he needed cash urgently and woulld double my time for the next session if I paid in advance) I will never ever ever pay anything in any form in advance -- and hopefully be a better judge of character goiing forward, too!

[pubic_assistance]

All providers who ask for deposits are scammers. 

(No..not really)....but I approach the issue with that impression and therefore the answer is always thanks but no thanks. That way I don't get ripped off by half the guys I meet. 

[+ ApexNomad]

6 hours ago, NipLuvr212 said:

Having been ripped off by a Montreal guy i had already met (said he needed cash urgently and woulld double my time for the next session if I paid in advance) I will never ever ever pay anything in any form in advance -- and hopefully be a better judge of character goiing forward, too!

Try not to be hard on yourself—you’d already met him and been intimate with him. That’s a level of trust some people would take as a green light. He took advantage of a moment where you showed vulnerability, and that says a lot more about him than it does about you. Hopefully it sharpens your instincts going forward, not hardens your heart. ❤️ 

[+ nycman]

18 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Hopefully it sharpens your instincts going forward, not hardens your heart. ❤️ 

I feel the song coming on….

 

[NYXboy]

On 7/26/2025 at 12:42 PM, viewing ownly said:

His words were "I'm not sure. I have a lot going on this weekend", 

Or perhaps he had a lot going on that weekend. 

 

[NipLuvr212]

15 hours ago, NYXboy said:

Or perhaps he had a lot going on that weekend. 

 

The Montreal based guy I referenced couldn't show because 1) the weather is bad, 2) took "bad" brugs, 3) had to go to the hospital, 4) wasn't into it.

Yeah, definitely had a lot going on, too.,

[NYXboy]

1 hour ago, NipLuvr212 said:

The Montreal based guy I referenced couldn't show because 1) the weather is bad, 2) took "bad" brugs, 3) had to go to the hospital, 4) wasn't into it.

Yeah, definitely had a lot going on, too.,

completely unrelated to the person I was talking to, but go off king.