411 on RomanHayes in NYC

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, romanhayes said:

The timer was necessary,…..This is common practice.

No. No, it’s not.

I don’t doubt that your buddy’s tell you this, and they may in fact do it. But it’s far from common. Just friendly advice: while I 100% support the idea that "an hour is an hour", find another way to discreetly keep track of the time. No one likes a timer at the bedside.

You seem like a genuinely nice guy who’s trying to deliver a solid service. I wish you the best of luck. 

[romanhayes]

1 minute ago, nycman said:

No. No, it’s not.

I don’t doubt that your buddy’s tell you this, and they may in fact do it. But it’s far from common. Just friendly advice: while I 100% support the idea that "an hour is an hour", find another way to discreetly keep track of the time. No one likes a timer at the bedside.

You seem like a genuinely nice guy who’s trying to deliver a solid service. I wish you the best of luck. 

Thanks for the advice, I will forgo the use of a timer then, it is something I didn't do in the past. Still trying to navigate my way through it and provide the best experience, I agree that it can throw off the vibe. So it's all part of the learning experience for me.

Also, to comment further. I know clients hire somebody for a service and that as I provider, I should fulfil that service. But this industry is hard, I think both parties take a risk. For example, in a service like giving a tattoo or cooking food, it is easier to maintain quality and consistency. This is a lot harder, there are more variables, human emotions are involved. 

I am not trying to degrade clients here, but if someone is 3 times your age or extremely overweight or has a skin disease or anything else like that, it is just extremely difficult to perform accordingly. So yes, going forward, I will be transparent and clarify what I can or cannot do and adjust rates accordingly because I do want to deliver what I say. That's the best business practice in my eyes. 

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, romanhayes said:

 

Hi, I'm the provider. Look honestly, I'm not looking to see many people and that's a rate that many have been willing to pay. It's also what I have been told I should charge from others. Furthermore my profile says "Straight", which is mainly true, so the expectation shouldn't be that I can always perform or that I'm actually going to turned on. In all honesty, it depends on the client. If the client is attractive (some are/some aren't) I can perform, even while being straight. However, maybe the provider should always come prepared and that's a fault of mine. Regarding the marketing as straight, I know most gay men want other gay men, however... even if it's a niche market, I have had multiple clients reach out specifically because I am straight. This is within the course of just 1-2 weeks. I will probably start screening who I see so that I know that I can actually perform to provide a better experience. People have to be honest with themselves, I try to be honest with myself. Going further if I know I won't be able to perform with a client, I will tell them that straight up and offer a lower rate for something like simply just muscle worship or massage. Appreciate any constructive criticism and advice. 

Listing yourself as “straight” isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card for not performing. Clients DO expect you to perform. If you have prerequisites to make that happen, then you need to be upfront about them in your ad. Require a FaceTime call, set specific criteria in advance—whatever you need to feel confident. But don’t waste people’s time by having a client show up, open the door, and then say, “Yeah, I can’t fuck that, but you can worship my muscles.” That’s not professionalism, that’s bait-and-switch. And a shitty thing to do to a client on the spot.

[romanhayes]

Just now, ApexNomad said:

Listing yourself as “straight” isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card for not performing. Clients DO expect you to perform. If you have prerequisites to make that happen, then you need to be upfront about them in your ad. Require a FaceTime call, set specific criteria in advance—whatever you need to feel confident. But don’t waste people’s time by having a client show up, open the door, and then say, “Yeah, I can’t fuck that, but you can worship my muscles.” That’s not professionalism, that’s bait-and-switch. And a shitty thing to do to a client on the spot.

Yes you are correct, my mistake, I will do that going forward. 

[+ ApexNomad]

Just now, romanhayes said:

Yes you are correct, my mistake, I will do that going forward. 

Best of luck to you!

[romanhayes]

5 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

Best of luck to you!

Thanks, yeah I wasn't intentionally trying to "bait and switch". 2 weeks into this, so I will adjust and not do that again. Video chat or pictures will be needed for me to decide what I can and cannot deliver. 

[+ bkwiseass]

i feel bad that my comments made you defensive, and apologies if our wires got crossed regrading my expectations. you're handsome, sweet, forthcoming and charming, and did your best to be accommodating. i have no doubt there will be clients who are very satisfied with what you have to offer, and you will find that clientele.

[+ bkwiseass]

15 hours ago, romanhayes said:

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, that wasn't my intention and I appreciate the kind words. Look, it was very hard for me to perform, I won't go into the details but you have to understand why. I stayed flaccid the entire time, when it's flaccid it's obviously small. However, when it's not, it is legitimately 9+ inches and extremely thick. There's evidence of this online. The main profile pic and none of the other pics are enhanced. In that picture, I was about 10lbs leaner and it was taken in a room with good downlighting. None of the pictures are distorted in any way, typically you'd see bends in the background of the photos if there is genuine enhancement other than adjustments to lighting and structure. I was a competitive bodybuilder for years and have pictures where I am in contest shape that look much crazier than the ones advertised, however this was before the tattoos so I didn't choose to post them but they can be provided. The timer was necessary, if it's an hour, it's an hour. I want to focus on the client and not be distracted by my phone, hence the reason for that. This is common practice. Thank you for the kind words but to everyone reading that, there are a lot of nuances and details behind the scene that aren't being provided that would justify my case and performance here. But, I may very well be in the wrong as well, it's just my perspective. 

i feel bad my comments made you defensive, and apologies if our wires got crossed regrading my expectations. you're handsome, sweet, forthcoming and honest, and did your best to be accommodating. i have no doubt there are many clients who are very satisfied with what you have to offer. you're a very cool dude and i know you will develop a clientele that appreciates the services you're comfortable offering.

some providers do require pictures or video chats prior to meeting. i would personally not do that because applying for intimacy seems to kick the legs out from under it, and it still doesn't guarantee chemistry. everyone finds their own way to feel comfortable, and you will as well. also, in my experience, many dudes are easily aroused in every context, while others prefer to be turned on by the client.

and while i'm clear that the kind of interaction we're discussing here is actually professional, i feel compelled to add that spending time with a provider who is unable to respond can feel rejecting, the same way it does when you're seeking recreational intimacy. having said that, i honestly don't understand how providers offer what they do to their clients. i'm grateful there are people in the world who do.

[GeoMitch]

On 3/10/2025 at 2:20 PM, romanhayes said:

The last thing I'll say is that I am 2 weeks into this. I do not have any reviews because it is far too early, even providers that have been at this for years do not have many reviews. I will say out of all the clients I've seen, about 80% have seemed satisfied and when I did this in the past briefly about one year ago, many of my clients repeatedly hired over the course of a few months. The other 20% of so probably had a lackluster experience. 

It's hard to satisfy everyone, some factors are simply outside of my control, especially in this business. I'm not willing to inject my dick to perform lol. So as I mentioned above, to try to close that gap and satisfy a higher percentage. I will now communicate very clearly if I will legitimately be able to perform when I see the client in person. If I cannot, I will lower the rate and offer another service where I do not have to perform like that.

Too bad you don't take incalls, you seem really genuine.  Good luck to you.

[m4same]

I like this thread.  It's civilized and kind.  I want to check out Roman's Twitter but the link is missing from the ad. I also want to check out an Adonis event. Maybe next week?

[pubic_assistance]

On 3/11/2025 at 6:26 AM, bkwiseass said:

some providers do require pictures or video chats prior to meeting. i would personally not do that because applying for intimacy seems to kick the legs out from under it, and it still doesn't guarantee chemistry. everyone finds their own way to feel comfortable, and you will as well. also, in my experience, many dudes are easily aroused in every context, while others prefer to be turned on by the client.

I think if he's advertising as "straight" then it should be understood by clients as a YMMV experience.

For @romanhayes if you're still following the thread, you might consider removing the "escort" offering from your Rent.Men profile...because there IS an expectation amongst many gay male customers that an "escort" is someone who can stick his dick in any fat pig and still perform.

Asking for photo or video confirmation is a step in the right direction but if you identify as straight, then even the visuals aren't going to make as much of a difference as personality will do. I've been with a lot of straight guys over the years...and most because they liked my personality not just my looks.

Erotic massage is a good way to offer a client the guarantee of an ejaculation without the expectation that you're going to "perform" yourself. I find that spending a bit of time during a massage breaks the ice and allows you time to decide whether you're feeling the moment or not.

Although some will disagree, having a range of pricing, helps a customer understand that if the massage is more than a hand job, it's more a more expensive service, not that you decided you were horny and are doing a freebie.

 

[romanhayes]

On 4/11/2025 at 7:00 PM, GeoMitch said:

Too bad you don't take incalls, you seem really genuine.  Good luck to you.

Next week I will start hosting and doing incalls at a place in the UWS. Needed some time to get things together and thank you!

[romanhayes]

On 4/11/2025 at 8:30 PM, m4same said:

I like this thread.  It's civilized and kind.  I want to check out Roman's Twitter but the link is missing from the ad. I also want to check out an Adonis event. Maybe next week?

My Twitter handle is @realromanhayes

Next week I’ll be at Adonis yeah, this upcoming Friday/Saturday if my schedule pans out. 

Edited April 14 by romanhayes

[romanhayes]

15 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think if he's advertising as "straight" then it should be understood by clients as a YMMV experience.

For @romanhayes if you're still following the thread, you might consider removing the "escort" offering from your Rent.Men profile...because there IS an expectation amongst many gay male customers that an "escort" is someone who can stick his dick in any fat pig and still perform.

Asking for photo or video confirmation is a step in the right direction but if you identify as straight, then even the visuals aren't going to make as much of a difference as personality will do. I've been with a lot of straight guys over the years...and most because they liked my personality not just my looks.

Erotic massage is a good way to offer a client the guarantee of an ejaculation without the expectation that you're going to "perform" yourself. I find that spending a bit of time during a massage breaks the ice and allows you time to decide whether you're feeling the moment or not.

Although some will disagree, having a range of pricing, helps a customer understand that if the massage is more than a hand job, it's more a more expensive service, not that you decided you were horny and are doing a freebie.

 

I appreciate the advice brother. Look when this thread was first started, I was 2 weeks into it and just getting my feet wet. I think it’s been about 2 months of work for me and I got desensitised very quick. I can top almost anyone, even fat pigs lmao, especially if I’m retaining throughout the week. You can reach out to the few people who have reviewed me on RM and they can confirm, all have been 5 stars. In the beginning, things like kissing, mutual oral were hard, but now I can do it with almost anyone. Like with anything this takes practice. I see a client pretty much every single day. Yes I’m straight, but I can perform. I’m also getting into all kinds of porn as of recent too, so you will see videos up of how I can perform. 

[romanhayes]

On 3/11/2025 at 6:26 AM, bkwiseass said:

i feel bad my comments made you defensive, and apologies if our wires got crossed regrading my expectations. you're handsome, sweet, forthcoming and honest, and did your best to be accommodating. i have no doubt there are many clients who are very satisfied with what you have to offer. you're a very cool dude and i know you will develop a clientele that appreciates the services you're comfortable offering.

some providers do require pictures or video chats prior to meeting. i would personally not do that because applying for intimacy seems to kick the legs out from under it, and it still doesn't guarantee chemistry. everyone finds their own way to feel comfortable, and you will as well. also, in my experience, many dudes are easily aroused in every context, while others prefer to be turned on by the client.

and while i'm clear that the kind of interaction we're discussing here is actually professional, i feel compelled to add that spending time with a provider who is unable to respond can feel rejecting, the same way it does when you're seeking recreational intimacy. having said that, i honestly don't understand how providers offer what they do to their clients. i'm grateful there are people in the world who do.

Thank you man and I hope I didn’t offend you with some of the statements I said as well. You’re a nice guy but you knew when hiring me that I was 2 weeks into it and very fresh, I feel like I would have preferred if you would have privately texted me and told me your honest opinion, or better yet, had told me it in person during the session. If you would have done that, I still would have taken the advice to heart. It’d be different if I was a provider with many years of experience, but posting online like this about someone 2 weeks into it can hurt their business for no reason. Especially when I was kind and treated you with respect, really not sure if this was necessary. 

A critique of me was certainly warranted, I didn’t do everything correctly. But since then I have adjusted my business practice and you can see that all of my reviews are positive. I have many repeat clientele and really try to maintain a decorum of professionalism, honesty and respect with my clients.

Another thing was the statement about my pics being edited, I feel like that remark was really unwarranted. I have videos up online, I strip at Adonis where you can legit see my physique in person before hiring if you live in NYC. In fact, I’ve been told by many that I look bigger and more muscular in person than in my pics. 

Edited April 14 by romanhayes

[pubic_assistance]

11 hours ago, romanhayes said:

Yes I’m straight, but I can perform. I’m also getting into all kinds of porn as of recent too, so you will see videos up of how I can perform. 

I have a friend who used to escort when he was younger. He was and still is straight. I asked him how he could stay hard, if he wasn't physically attracted to men. He said what turned him on was how attracted THEY were to HIM. Knowing he had power through beauty (he was very good looking in his 20s)..was a huge turn on for him. The worshiping, to the degree that men would pay HIM for the honor of letting them suck HIS dick, and cum in their mouth, was his turn on.

Edited April 14 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[romanhayes]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I have a friend who used to escort when he was younger. He was and still is straight. I asked him how he could stay hard, if he wasn't physically attracted to men. He said what turned him on was how attracted THEY were to HIM. Knowing he had power through beauty (he was very good looking in his 20s)..was a huge turn on for him. The worshiping, to the degree that men would pay HIM for the honor of letting them suck HIS dick, and cum in their mouth, was his turn on.

So yeah I’ve heard that before. People like the power trip or they get turned on by the fact that people are paying them. I can see that, personally that’s not me lol, I don’t mentally get off on being worshipped. My dick gets hard regardless, especially if someone sucks it well, even if I just touch it myself for a bit. Now to stay hard enough to top I usually have to imagine shit in my head or watch some porn during the session, especially if they want me to cum. 

[+ ApexNomad]

On 4/13/2025 at 9:01 AM, pubic_assistance said:

For @romanhayes if you're still following the thread, you might consider removing the "escort" offering from your Rent.Men profile...because there IS an expectation amongst many gay male customers that an "escort" is someone who can stick his dick in any fat pig and still perform.

You never miss an opportunity to denigrate — another cheap shot, steeped in… what’s that word of yours? Oh right, disdain.

[pubic_assistance]

25 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

You never miss an opportunity to denigrate

My comment wasn't directed at anyone. So WHO did I "denigrate" ?

You know very well, that escorts are often called by people who are so repulsive and fat that no one else would ever touch them. So I fail to see how mention of that FACT is a "cheap shot" when the subject is a STRAIGHT provider trying to get his footing in the business. It's certainly on topic. So I don't agree with your assessment here.

[BrooklynIrish]

19 hours ago, romanhayes said:

I can top almost anyone, even fat pigs lmao,

If this is how you talk about clients, I’d never hire you. And don’t think anyone else should either. Hopefully anyone overweight will find you here and know not to hire you. 

[romanhayes]

1 hour ago, BrooklynIrish said:

If this is how you talk about clients, I’d never hire you. And don’t think anyone else should either. Hopefully anyone overweight will find you here and know not to hire you. 

Jesus man, don’t be so sensitive. First, I was quoting somebody. Responding to a comment about being able to top “fat pigs”. Second I wasn’t talking about any particular client I know on a personal level, I was talking in general and of course there are fat clients who are objectively less attractive to the general populous, are you denying reality? Do you think I call out people on their body in person, that’s ridiculous 😂. I try to make people feel good about themselves. This was a general statement. 

[+ ApexNomad]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

My comment wasn't directed at anyone. So WHO did I "denigrate" ?

You know very well, that escorts are often called by people who are so repulsive and fat that no one else would ever touch them. So I fail to see how mention of that FACT is a "cheap shot" when the subject is a STRAIGHT provider trying to get his footing in the business. It's certainly on topic. So I don't agree with your assessment here.

It’s directed at all the people you refer to as “fat pigs.” Cruelty framed as commentary is still cruelty — and that’s your pattern here. You like to call it on-topic, but it’s just another excuse to punch down.

You’re not an escort, and you’re not fucking them — so why the compulsion to even speak as if you are. Let the people doing the work express their own frustrations. You mask your disdain as insight, but all your offering is judgment and condescension. 

 

[BrooklynIrish]

35 minutes ago, romanhayes said:

of course there are fat clients who are objectively less attractive to the general populous, are you denying reality?

Attractiveness is completely subjective. There are hot fat guys; hot thin guys, hot muscular guys. 

I’ll take a kind, chubby sexy gay guy over a roided out poseur any day. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[romanhayes]

7 minutes ago, BrooklynIrish said:

Attractiveness is completely subjective. There are hot fat guys; hot thin guys, hot muscular guys. 

I’ll take a kind, chubby sexy gay guy over a roided out poseur any day. 🤷🏻‍♂️

This is wrong. Attractiveness is subjective to some extent. But there are still objective standards of attractiveness. Of course there are certain people that find fat people attractive but that’s a minority of people. People are typically drawn to traits that show healthy genetics and an ability to survive. People are still animals at the end of the day. We are talking in generalities here. 

[BrklynNYC]

7 hours ago, romanhayes said:

This is wrong. Attractiveness is subjective to some extent. But there are still objective standards of attractiveness. Of course there are certain people that find fat people attractive but that’s a minority of people. People are typically drawn to traits that show healthy genetics and an ability to survive. People are still animals at the end of the day. We are talking in generalities here. 

Just a friendly advice, because I've seen this happen many times. Don't dig yourself into a hole. I agree that being physically in shape certainly attracts more people than otherwise. That's a fact. That's why providers who are in shape get more business. That's just part of the equation, though. You're selling a fantasy. The fact that your comments are connected to your escort name (instead of being anonymous... hint) will prevent people who feel undesirable from otherwise hiring you because they will see themselves with the lens you've created with your comments. People want to feel attractive and wanted, and that's why they hire. I get every one's point. But I would suggest for you not to try to defend yourself with your escort name because that will dispel the fantasy of possible clients. You won't change anyone's opinion regardless of how hard you try. I would go as far as deleting your previous comments because people aren't going to read the entire backstory and see that you were only quoting @pubic_assistance. Damage control.