When to tell a provider I’m a virgin?

[Peter Eater]

On 3/28/2026 at 1:30 AM, Wings246 said:

family, friends, coworkers, etc.

You are out to gay strangers and medical personnel but not out to the most important people in your daily life - so yes, you are closeted. 

Whether coming out is "easy" is irrelevant. It's a process that takes years (and, in heteronormative society, never really ends). You learn to be closeted, so unlearning takes about as much time.

Equating being out with "broadcasting" your sexuality is bizarre - and one tiny internalized step away from the homophobia implied by the term "flaunting." (And sex is not the sole dimension.) Being out is being you, not broadcasting or flaunting you. 

[Wings246]

4 hours ago, Peter Eater said:

so yes, you are closeted.

I don't disagree with this at all.   😅

4 hours ago, Peter Eater said:

Equating being out with "broadcasting" your sexuality is bizarre - and one tiny internalized step away from the homophobia implied by the term "flaunting." (And sex is not the sole dimension.) Being out is being you, not broadcasting or flaunting you.

I somewhat agree with you on this view, but not entirely.  I suppose it is a difference in using different words to express the extent/intensity of the intended meanings.  I'll just cordially agree to disagree.  Like I've mentioned numerous times on CoM, I do find different viewpoints and opinions very eye-opening and enlightening.  Your responses do let me see things from a different angle.

[Peter Eater]

19 hours ago, Wings246 said:

Your responses do let me see things from a different angle.

Thank you. 

Edited March 30 by Peter Eater

[PileDriver]

Be honest!!! And find the right guy!!! And welcome and enjoy and relax...

[Mark_fl]

This "out" thing is puzzling to me. My sexuality is something I've never discussed in public, as is the case 90+% of the people I meet.

Does that mean almost everyone is closeted regardless of orientation? I have always been a private person, and this was the case for the first 50 years of my life (when I was 100% straight). I don't think anyone needs to be in or out of anything. Share what you want with whom you want,  and don't feel guilty or repressed about it. 

If you're happy, be happy, and don't let anyone convince you that you need to broadcast anything to anyone in order to be better or happier.

[Peter Eater]

On 3/30/2026 at 6:40 AM, Mark_fl said:

This "out" thing is puzzling to me. My sexuality is something I've never discussed in public, as is the case 90+% of the people I meet.

Being out isn’t about publicly discussing your sex life. It’s simply publicly acknowledging an inherent, immutable, enduring same-sex emotional, romantic or physical attraction that doesn’t conform to heteronormativity. Like when you and a boyfriend are traveling and check into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks “one bed or two?” When you say “one,” you’ve just outed yourself to the clerk. You haven’t said, “We plan to give each other head, and maybe try out a new double-header dildo, so two beds are a waste.”