Normalize embarrassing sex situations

[Guest]

I had the idea to start this thread so that anyone on here who has "performance anxiety" or has had something embarrassing happen during sex and was mortified can see that these things happen and that it's normal. You can get back in the game!

So, y'all, what are some embarrassing stories you have from sexual encounters?

[Guest]

Just now, JD-Angel said:

I had the idea to start this thread so that anyone on here who has "performance anxiety" or has had something embarrassing happen during sex and was mortified can see that these things happen and that it's normal. You can get back in the game!

So, y'all, what are some embarrassing stories you have from sexual encounters?

I have a few:

1) My first threesome was in Puerto Vallarta. It was with an older couple at the hotel we stayed at. I didn't bring my douche to clean out, so I warned the guys ahead of time that. But during the sex, the guy who was pounding my ass stopped and said that it had gotten dirty. I was mortified, apologized over and over, while he said, "It's fine. It happens." He walked away, and I thought, "Oh no, he's turned off; the whole thing is probably over now." And he came back with a roll of toilet paper and wiped me. That made me feel worse. I thought, "Fuck, he's wiping my ass like I'm a fucking toddler 😳😭." Then he said, "All better. Now lube up that pretty hole." And I realized... he still wanted to continue? He wasn't grossed out to oblivion? I don't know if I would have been so gracious 😂 But it helped me a lot to know that sex doesn't always go according to plan, and especially for bottoms, you don't have to feel such shame if anything does happen.

[Guest]

2) I hooked up with a guy on Grindr a few years ago. He couldn't keep his erection in the condom, so he wanted to do bareback. Back then, I obliged. I wouldn't do that again. I just didn't want him to feel embarrassed, so I went along with it, despite me being adamant in our chat that bareback was off the table. Now, I realize that I abandoned my own boundaries rather than have the awkward conversation of, "Sorry you're having trouble, but if you can only maintain erection during bareback, then this won't work because my safety is more important than your pride right now."

But I continued, leading to the next embarrassment: I was on top, facing away from him; I stood up to turn around and sit back down on his penis. A little lube/mucus leaked out and into his white sheets. And he made a HUGE DEAL of it. "Didn't you clean out?! Disgusting." I tried telling him, "I did. That ain't shit. That's just lube and mucus. You saw me apply the former, and the latter is natural. And I get that it's not exactly pleasant what just happened, but it's a little dot and you're acting like I shit all over the bed." He told me he couldn't continue and I had to go so he could wash his sheets before bed. I agreed and left. I didn't leave feeling embarrassed for myself that time, though. Instead I thought, "Grow the hell up, man. An embarrassing thing happened for sure, but it wasn't exactly 'out of the realm of possibility' with anal sex, and it was made so much worse by your over the top, angry reaction."

[Guest]

Hmm. My idea with this thread has turned out to be unpopular 😂

[Becket]

1 hour ago, JD-Angel said:

Hmm. My idea with this thread has turned out to be unpopular 😂

Give it time. I believe it to be a thread worthy of thought and discussion. Thanks for posting it.

[Luv2play]

6 hours ago, JD-Angel said:

Hmm. My idea with this thread has turned out to be unpopular 😂

Shit happens. Lol

[CuriousByNature]

12 hours ago, JD-Angel said:

Hmm. My idea with this thread has turned out to be unpopular 😂

It's a subject that many may not want to think about, but it's a good thread!   Your contributions are appreciated  

[Guest]

1 hour ago, CuriousByNature said:

It's a subject that many may not want to think about, but it's a good thread!   Your contributions are appreciated  

Thanks. I've gotten to a point of comfort with my body and myself as a sexual being. And I think that many of my fears previously were a manifestation of the fear of rejection in general.

But the way that they showed up in a sexual context was a lot of What-Ifs.

what if I'm too chubby? What if my penis isn't big enough? What if I didn't clean out properly? What if I'm so hideous and undesirable that my sexual partner decides to run for the hills and come back with the village people, torches and pitchforks in hand?

 

Obviously I'm being a little hyperbolic, so I do hope that anyone stumbling on this thread with some insecurity about their body or their sexuality, even if they don't contribute, will find a little validation and solace here. 😘

[MaybeMaybeNot]

My earliest sexual fantasies were all around receiving oral sex. When I started hooking up, I never engaged in anal. I tried to tell myself I was bi, so I avoided anal.  The first time I ever did it,  I was with this hot cubby guy and on top grinding him. He shifted his ass, and I slipped right in without realizing it . . . until I realized it.

When I hit 40, I came to terms with my sexuality and started being open to anal (topping). I figured it was something I should be more willing to do. 

I hooked up with this really nice guy.  We had chatted for a while on Adam4Adam, and then I went over. I would later learn he had directed some independent porn. His oral skills were incredible, and he seemed really into me.  There was a nice connection.  I offered to top him, which he was down for.  He pulled out the condoms, and I think we tried missionary.  

I could not get inside him, and if I did,  I don't think I stayed in very long.  We wasted a few condoms, and he went to get more from his kitchen,  then said he was out of my size.  Then, he finished me up with oral. He never wanted to meet up again. To me, the connection was important,  the fact that we were naked together and exploring. I don't think he felt that way. I think guys expect you to know how to top. Who knew?

I realized that I didn't know how to reliably get inside a guy. I couldn't seem to find the hole, and then when you did find it,  sometimes, you fell out and had to get back in! At age 40/41, I didn't really know how to have sex. Add in odd height difference (I am a tall guy) and any low-sitting beds, and it can be a challenge for me. I did learn how to use my finger to find the hole and guide myself in, but it's still a source of stress if the angle isn't right.  I find accessing the ass while spooning trends to work. The last time, though, the condom slipped off, and I didn't realize it until I shot my load inside the guy. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I haven't tried since. 

I realize, though, I don't really enjoy anal. With a condom, you can't feel much.  Thrusting over and over inside a guy is boring when you don't feel much. Cumming that way is not very pleasureable for me. And once you do it to be a good partner, it's expected of you every time. I really truly love a guy licking and slurping my dick most of all. That feels incredible and anal (bare or covered) simply can't come close. 

I ended up learning that the guy had directed porn when I followed him on Twitter. I found some behind the scenes footage of his work, where he was describing a scenario where a character was stashing condoms everywhere, including the kitchen, to always be ready for sex. I witnessed first hand, that's how he did it in real life! He was a really nice guy, and his oral skills were incredible.  He's gone from X, so I don't know what he is up to. I hope he is well and finding tops who know what the heck they are doing.  

[+ Jamie21]

Interesting topic and I thank @JD-Angel for raising it. It takes a bit of courage to admit to embarrassing sex situations. I’ve had plenty, from horrendous mess situations when I’ve bottomed (which I have described previously, and probably don’t want to recount), to situations when I couldn’t get it up - and the harder I tried the more difficult it became, and being with a guy while his wife and children were upstairs (they knew I was there…I wonder if they knew what we were doing 😱). Let me add that these were all situations where I was present in a professional sense (either filming porn or seeing clients) which makes it even more awkward. 

I’ve learned that this stuff happens, and usually it’s best to laugh it off and not get too anxious or upset about it. There’s many more situations where it all went fabulously. The embarrassing situations are just part and parcel of participating in the first place. They serve to put the great situations into context. 
 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Interesting topic and I thank @JD-Angel for raising it. It takes a bit of courage to admit to embarrassing sex situations. I’ve had plenty, from horrendous mess situations when I’ve bottomed (which I have described previously, and probably don’t want to recount), to situations when I couldn’t get it up - and the harder I tried the more difficult it became, and being with a guy while his wife and children were upstairs (they knew I was there…I wonder if they knew what we were doing 😱). Let me add that these were all situations where I was present in a professional sense (either filming porn or seeing clients) which makes it even more awkward. 

I’ve learned that this stuff happens, and usually it’s best to laugh it off and not get too anxious or upset about it. There’s many more situations where it all went fabulously. The embarrassing situations are just part and parcel of participating in the first place. They serve to put the great situations into context. 
 

I think you bring up a good point. It's really easy to let the few embarrassing situations outweigh the preponderance of good ones.

[Guest]

I thought of a fun other story. It was a day that I allowed my passions to get the better of me. One of my first sexual experiences… I had only recently come out of the closet and had only exchanged oral sex with one other man, a friend of mine. But I was visiting family out of state, and I had just discovered Grindr. A guy sent me an unsolicited nude pic of himself on the bed with his butt up and hole exposed. Probably more politely than I should have, I told him, "no thank you. I'm not looking for a quick hook up. I'm just trying to chat with and maybe meet some cool guys." He apologized quickly and changed his tune and said that I seemed nice and he wanted to meet up for coffee. That was fast. But I was intrigued and I had butterflies in my stomach, so I met up with him for coffee on the day that I would return home. We met at Starbucks. Had a decent chat. Then in the parking lot, he said he wanted to kiss me. I had never kissed a guy before. I'd sucked a guy before, but never kissed 😂

I told him yes. We kissed at his truck in the parking lot. The pheromones were raging. My erection was intense. Super engorged. I told him I wanted to do more than just kiss him. I got in his truck, and he reached over and put his hand underneath my sweats and started to stroke my penis. I asked him if we could do more. He said his place wasn't available because he had roommates. I suggested that there was a Hobby lobby close by and because it was Sunday they would be closed and the parking lot empty. It was my first Car Play. We took turns sucking each other, but then… I SPOTTED SHOPPING CENTER SECURITY!!

I was terrified. Our state of arousal was killed immediately. We climbed back to the front of the truck, and we had an awkward goodbye. And then contact ceased... for a year

[Guest]

A year later, I was back in town. I decided to hit him up since we had exchanged numbers (the man from my previous post). He was a bartender, so he invited me to see him at work. The next day, we went to breakfast, then back to his place.
While we were at his place, we lay in bed together talking. The conversation turned dirty. He told me that he wanted me inside of him, stat. I knew he hadn't cleaned out, so I asked if he had a condom. He said no. I told him I'd rather not, then. He was OK with that, but the dirty talk continued, and eventually he said, "I can't help it. You make me feel so hot. I need your dick."

He climbed on top, guided my penis inside him, and he rode me. It felt really good. We switched positions a couple times, ended in doggy style. And he is to this day the only man that I have cum inside bareback. And for good reason... because after I finished, I stood up and went to a Kleenex box that I found on his dresser to wipe myself off. That's when I saw a chain of condoms. I don't know if he lied intentionally or just forgot they were there.

A couple days later on my way back to my hometown, I started to feel an itchy sensation in my penis. I immediately called and made an appointment with my PreP provider for an STI screening.

it turns out I didn't have a standard STI. I did a couple different rounds over the next few weeks of the standard blood tests and swabs. Everything came back negative. Eventually we figured it out. E. coli bacteria, which tends to happen in a shit infested place like the inside of an rectum, had gotten inside and caused an infection. Highly resistant to antibiotics, I discovered. I had to do two rounds of doxycycline and a shot of penicillin over the next several weeks. And they still didn't work. I eventually had to wait it out. Urinating burned like hell.

but even beyond that, the shame I felt was intense. I felt like the guy had lied to me about the condoms. I felt that I had failed to uphold my own standards when I told him that I didn't want to do bareback, but quickly gave up on that because of his persistence. There was a family gathering that I couldn't get out of, and even though I tried not to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, eventually they figured out what was going on because of my frequent trips to pee, and one of them confronted me about it, saying, "you know I know what you've been up to."

But here I am years later, recovered, never had a flareup again, learned my lesson about letting people talk me into things, and so I share in hopes that this also helps some reader out there.

[Guest]

Judging from the number of stories I've told on this thread, I've had more than my fair share of really shitty sexual experiences 😭😂

 

(and I've got more haha)

[Guest]

5 hours ago, MaybeMaybeNot said:

 

Your entire post was incredibly relatable and I’m really grateful that you shared it. Thank you.