What's the appeal of being a sugar daddy?

[Constantine]

What's the appeal to a sugar daddy of committing to 1 guy when he can just have a roster of escorts to hire from? Why go monogamous?

[samhexum]

You get to borrow a cup of sugar anytime you want to

[+ JamesB]

1 hour ago, Quincy_7 said:

What's the appeal to a sugar daddy of committing to 1 guy when he can just have a roster of escorts to hire from? Why go monogamous?

 

I’m curious, where did you get the idea that being a sugar daddy implies monogamy?

[MikeBiDude]

54 minutes ago, JamesB said:

 

I’m curious, where did you get the idea that being a sugar daddy implies monogamy?

Thanks for making this reply for me!!

[Guest]

Sugar daddy is a badge I wear well and comfortable. I’ll try to share the appeal from my perspective. I love to travel and I love having a companion to inspire me as I do so. 

On December 4th, I got a message from a boy on seeking arrangement with the kindest eyes. We face timed twice and I agreed to take him to Antarctica. We’re on day whatever of our trip together loving life. Because we hadn’t met, we thought that the responsible thing to do was to meet a few days early in Buenos Aires to get to know each other. We hadn’t finalized rate or sexpectations before hand. We discussed the travel expectations, which made me horny. I hate to plan and my assistant was on vacation. The fact that I could give him my cc and have everything taken care of is the sexiest thing in the world. 

I am not great at intercourse. I don’t suck dick well. I want to be a hungry bottom, an insatiable cocksucker, and a top that lasts for hours. I’m not. Escorts remind me of that, intentionally or not.  I get more pleasure out of holding my guys hand as we trek an iceberg, giggle and laugh and talk and share life experiences.  He’s wildly aroused at the way money creates power, and I can tell is genuinely turned on by the proximity to it.  He keeps dancing around the permission I gave him to use it, and that’s quite sexy.  For example, we spent most of the day shopping for a bag he wanted.  I was ready to buy him every single one we looked at as that’s what I would have done.  In his world, he has to evaluate, decide, compare, reconsider, go get another look.  If he doesn’t love it, he doesn’t buy it.  I forgot that about myself and this exercise with him reminded me of it.  The ability to buy whatever he wanted didn’t change him either, and that was really attractive.  We also looked for sunglasses.  I bought two pair that I’ll never wear.  He couldn’t even find one that was better than he had.  Pinch me I’m dreaming.

What I am is a master at connecting with humans. Sugar relationships allow me to showcase my connection skills in a space that feels safe. Sure fooling around happens. Sometimes quite remarkably, but the transactional qualities feel a bit more distant.

Although I hate the term, sugar babies by definition are better for what I look for.  In my real life, I have to be a boss. I’m intimidating and keep people at arms length and am constantly evaluating threats that people pose.  With an escort for an hour, I can’t always just turn that off. With a sugar relationship, I don’t have to be the boss. I can defer to him to make decisions because some trust has been established. I’m on the ride until the wheels fall off, and often they do lol. Quite tragically. Sometimes though, they don’t, and I’ve had some incredible successes with guys that started in my life as a sugar baby.  

I hope some of this helped with your inquiry. 

Edited January 1 by Coolwave35

[Guest]

Oh! I missed the lions share of your question sorry! 
 

I’ve had live in guys, photo scavengers from all over the world, onlyfans arrangements, travel buddies, work out babies, a guy that could only say yes, and sooooo much more. Never once have these arrangements been monogamous. 

I carry multiple at the same time and am very clear about that with new guys. 

[Km411]

I don’t need money or material objects, but it all sounds like so much fun. Do you do sugar geriatrics? If so, I’m in!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Although I've not engaged as a sugar daddy; however, I see the attraction of such an arrangement of being a sugar daddy.  There are likely some characteristics that mirror my practices for this hobby; I tend to find myself returning to select providers multiple times.  I find comfort having familiarity with someone I am going to spend time with.  I have an escort I have seen for over 10 years and three masseurs I have seen multiple times (one local, one in the city where my mother lives, and one who used to be local and now lives in a frequent vacation destination) on a consistent basis over the last three to ten years.   

[+ ApexNomad]

50 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

In my real life, I have to be a boss. I’m intimidating and keep people at arms length and am constantly evaluating threats that people pose.  With an escort for an hour, I can’t always just turn that off. With a sugar relationship, I don’t have to be the boss. I can defer to him to make decisions because some trust has been established.

I relate to this juxtaposition and applaud you for finding those moments of vulnerability. My real life is similar: constantly assessing, high-pressure and very guarded. When I’m with a provider, I make a conscious effort to let that go and allow myself to be vulnerable. When it works, it’s very cathartic and, in my opinion, one of the greatest gifts a provider can offer—a space to truly be free.

[Newtdad]

2 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

Sugar daddy is a badge I wear well and comfortable. I’ll try to share the appeal from my perspective. I love to travel and I love having a companion to inspire me as I do so. 

On December 4th, I got a message from a boy on seeking arrangement with the kindest eyes. We face timed twice and I agreed to take him to Antarctica. We’re on day whatever of our trip together loving life. Because we hadn’t met, we thought that the responsible thing to do was to meet a few days early in Buenos Aires to get to know each other. We hadn’t finalized rate or sexpectations before hand. We discussed the travel expectations, which made me horny. I hate to plan and my assistant was on vacation. The fact that I could give him my cc and have everything taken care of is the sexiest thing in the world. 

I am not great at intercourse. I don’t suck dick well. I want to be a hungry bottom, an insatiable cocksucker, and a top that lasts for hours. I’m not. Escorts remind me of that, intentionally or not.  I get more pleasure out of holding my guys hand as we trek an iceberg, giggle and laugh and talk and share life experiences.  He’s wildly aroused at the way money creates power, and I can tell is genuinely turned on by the proximity to it.  He keeps dancing around the permission I gave him to use it, and that’s quite sexy.  For example, we spent most of the day shopping for a bag he wanted.  I was ready to buy him every single one we looked at as that’s what I would have done.  In his world, he has to evaluate, decide, compare, reconsider, go get another look.  If he doesn’t love it, he doesn’t buy it.  I forgot that about myself and this exercise with him reminded me of it.  The ability to buy whatever he wanted didn’t change him either, and that was really attractive.  We also looked for sunglasses.  I bought two pair that I’ll never wear.  He couldn’t even find one that was better than he had.  Pinch me I’m dreaming.

What I am is a master at connecting with humans. Sugar relationships allow me to showcase my connection skills in a space that feels safe. Sure fooling around happens. Sometimes quite remarkably, but the transactional qualities feel a bit more distant.

Although I hate the term, sugar babies by definition are better for what I look for.  In my real life, I have to be a boss. I’m intimidating and keep people at arms length and am constantly evaluating threats that people pose.  With an escort for an hour, I can’t always just turn that off. With a sugar relationship, I don’t have to be the boss. I can defer to him to make decisions because some trust has been established. I’m on the ride until the wheels fall off, and often they do lol. Quite tragically. Sometimes though, they don’t, and I’ve had some incredible successes with guys that started in my life as a sugar baby.  

I hope some of this helped with your inquiry. 

Hey there. I'd assume both straight and gay/bi sugar babies are in that site. Do you seek one over the other more? Or perhaps, have your encounters been in favor of one over the other?

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Newtdad said:

Hey there. I'd assume both straight and gay/bi sugar babies are in that site. Do you seek one over the other more? Or perhaps, have your encounters been in favor of one over the other?

They’re both readily available. I favor gay guys though I’ve dabbled in all sexual identities. 

[Newtdad]

Am curious... what made you decide to travel to Antarctica?

[Guest]

30 minutes ago, Newtdad said:

Am curious... what made you decide to travel to Antarctica?

I wanna visit all 7 continents, and the tour company emailed me a decent Black Friday special on an amazing suite. The same day, a boy from seeking guessed that I wanted to go to Antarctica, and he was free for these dates, so I booked it. We front loaded the trip with 4 days in Buenos Aires to get to know each other. I’m having such a blast with him that we’ve tacked on another week in Rio in Brazil when the boat docks, and if that goes well we’re going to do Machu Pichu. I’m going to ride this “baby” til the legs fall off. 

[Newtdad]

2 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I wanna visit all 7 continents, and the tour company emailed me a decent Black Friday special on an amazing suite. The same day, a boy from seeking guessed that I wanted to go to Antarctica, and he was free for these dates, so I booked it. We front loaded the trip with 4 days in Buenos Aires to get to know each other. I’m having such a blast with him that we’ve tacked on another week in Rio in Brazil when the boat docks, and if that goes well we’re going to do Machu Pichu. I’m going to ride this “baby” til the legs fall off. 

Thanks for sharing. The previous guys whom you had similar arrangements with, do they still reach out to you from Time to time to maybe have another arrangement?
Because I can only imagine it's a good experience for them getting treated as a sugar baby by anyone, and would easily come back for more.

 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Newtdad said:

Thanks for sharing. The previous guys whom you had similar arrangements with, do they still reach out to you from Time to time to maybe have another arrangement?
Because I can only imagine it's a good experience for them getting treated as a sugar baby by anyone, and would easily come back for more.

 

There’s one that ended unfinished and I wish we could get together again.  I know he’s successful now but that’s about all I know of his life.  I miss him a lot. I do get hit up from time to time to continue but none of those guys are worth continuing with. Several work for me now and the sex stuff has ended. Some have become friends with benefits. I have three active arrangements presently. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 12/30/2024 at 4:44 PM, Quincy_7 said:

What's the appeal to a sugar daddy of committing to 1 guy when he can just have a roster of escorts to hire from? Why go monogamous?

Control.  And I don’t mean that in a way that, for some, is healthy.  
 

but the healthy reason is access and accessibility. 

Edited January 5 by PhileasFogg

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

Control.  And I don’t mean that in a way that, for some, is healthy. 
 

Can you elaborate? 

[+ PhileasFogg]

17 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

Can you elaborate? 

Some people become so enamored with a person that they don’t want to share them.  They become a form of chattel to be dominated and not a partner or companion.

The nature of “an arrangement” is it must be mutually beneficial .  The mind I’m referring to are unilaterally beneficial to the dominant party. 
 

and I probably should have said the healthy reason is access and companionship…not accessibility 

Edited January 5 by PhileasFogg

[Newtdad]

4 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

There’s one that ended unfinished and I wish we could get together again.  I know he’s successful now but that’s about all I know of his life.  I miss him a lot. I do get hit up from time to time to continue but none of those guys are worth continuing with. Several work for me now and the sex stuff has ended. Some have become friends with benefits. I have three active arrangements presently. 

What made it unfinished? Was there a falling apart or fighting that made the contract/agreement be stopped sooner than the intended schedule?

[marylander1940]

On 12/30/2024 at 5:44 PM, Quincy_7 said:

What's the appeal to a sugar daddy of committing to 1 guy when he can just have a roster of escorts to hire from? Why go monogamous?

1. Having worked your ass off (or inherited enough money) to be able to afford being a sugar daddy
2. Exclusivity or at least the appearance of being his only client, I'm sure he also occasionally would have "free" fun on Grindr. 
3. Gratefulness from him as long as thing$ last.

Edited January 5 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

13 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I wanna visit all 7 continents, and the tour company emailed me a decent Black Friday special on an amazing suite. The same day, a boy from seeking guessed that I wanted to go to Antarctica, and he was free for these dates, so I booked it. We front loaded the trip with 4 days in Buenos Aires to get to know each other. I’m having such a blast with him that we’ve tacked on another week in Rio in Brazil when the boat docks, and if that goes well we’re going to do Machu Pichu. I’m going to ride this “baby” til the legs fall off. 

That's what I call being a sugar daddy!

Enjoy!

When will he move in? Seems like a next step.

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

Control.  And I don’t mean that in a way that, for some, is healthy.  
 

but the healthy reason is access and accessibility. 

Yes, but there must be some clear limits and also "me time" for both parts. 

Does being a sugar daddy requires having him at home or paying his rent / buying him a condominium? 

1 hour ago, Coolwave35 said:

Can you elaborate? 

Having a "kept man/boy". 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Newtdad said:

What made it unfinished? Was there a falling apart or fighting that made the contract/agreement be stopped sooner than the intended schedule?

He was the right guy at the wrong time. I had JUST ended my marriage, and I was lonely and grieving. I should not have visited any of those complex emotions on a kid. He did a superb job of navigating through it, but I just got more and more unfair to him.  It was not a time in my life that I should have been hiring, or sugar daddying. Nevertheless, we had tremendous fun together but it was marred by sadness and confusion on my part. I don’t remember who ended it formally, but I do remember a sweet text a year later asking me for a catch up lunch, and that I was missed. (As an aside, when I’m good, I’m spectacular.  When I’m not good, boy am I a mess.)  I agreed to take him to lunch but the morning of, he had to cancel.  I’m too embarrassed by my behavior from when we were in an arrangement to reach out to him.  I maintain a healthy curiosity about where and how he ended up and still think of him often, and fondly. 

Edited January 5 by Coolwave35

[Guest]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

That's what I call being a sugar daddy!

Enjoy!

When will he move in? Seems like a next step.

I think the one that lives with me may have something to say about him losing his bedroom for the new guy lol 

[Newtdad]

3 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

He was the right guy at the wrong time. I had JUST ended my marriage, and I was lonely and grieving. I should not have visited any of those complex emotions on a kid. He did a superb job of navigating through it, but I just got more and more unfair to him.  It was not a time in my life that I should have been hiring, or sugar daddying. Nevertheless, we had tremendous fun together but it was marred by sadness and confusion on my part. I don’t remember who ended it formally, but I do remember a sweet text a year later asking me for a catch up lunch, and that I was missed. (As an aside, when I’m good, I’m spectacular.  When I’m not good, boy am I a mess.)  I agreed to take him to lunch but the morning of, he had to cancel.  I’m too embarrassed by my behavior from when we were in an arrangement to reach out to him.  I maintain a healthy curiosity about where and how he ended up and still think of him often, and fondly. 

Thanks for sharing. Glad to hear things are better now.