Friendship with A Gay-For-Pay Porn Star That (Sadly) Ended

[marylander1940]

Same subject again?!

7 minutes ago, Empire_Man said:

Was curious for years about a gay experience, and finally hired an escort to satisfy my curiosity. It was okay, but not my cup of tea. The guy I hired was an experienced and fairly well-known porn star -- a crossover in all kinds of scenes. Gay, straight, whatever. Married with a kid.

The escort was really great (as a person), though the sex was not for me. (Curiosity satisfied. The End.) We started texting right away, and became friends. This went on for years. He began to invite me to visit, and I would. I would pay him then for a couple of hours time (per his rate from our first visit), because this was, after all (as it seemed to me), how he made his living.

I repeatedly said, "If this is not okay with you, money-wise, let me know and I'll take care of it." He always said, "You can pay me what you want. Whatever you decide is okay, even if it's nothing." 99% of the time, sex was not on the table. It seldom came up. And nothing was ever said about me not paying enough. Though I kept on paying.

Meanwhile, for nearly 7 years, we were exchanging thousands upon thousands of texts. Many, many times per day. Just friend-stuff. Family, jobs, health, money, politics. Anything you'd discuss with anyone who was "just a friend." I would occasionally send him gifts, and he would do the same for me.

There was nothing "romantic" about this. He was just a guy, like other guy friends. But an especially good friend, without a doubt. I did "love" him, but not in a romantic way. Not at all.

Then, out of the blue, he wrote me to say that I had been "taking advantage of him for years." And that I owed him thousands of dollars for time spent in the past.

This was the last thing on earth I expected. I had paid him, without him even asking, for each visit. Plus, all those gifts I sent. So I was caught off guard.

At the end, he was very upfront about the bill, "You owe me for time spent. Past tense." But I refused to pay, of course, because I felt I had lived up to my end of the bargain. I don't think I could have been any clearer about this.

We had a long series of text messages about this. After a lot of these, I finally got a couple of teary-sounding voice mails, along the lines of "If you can't pay me, let's just be glad for what we had, for as long as it lasted."

So...I guess my question is, WTF? For all that time, we had shared every intimate detail of our lives -- except, I guess, that he felt he was not being compensated properly? I thought "what we had" was just friendship. The client/provider relationship, in my eyes, went out the window very early on during the time we knew each other.

I did not enter into this situation with the expectation that it would end with a drama. I had no expectations at all, in fact. I don't think this guy was cultivating me as an income source, because he didn't get much from me. I mean, this went on for YEARS. At least half the time, if not more, he was the one reaching out to me, and never for money. 

In the end, I am feeling strangely hurt by this. I thought he was a real person, and I'm surprised by my own naiveté. I find myself grieving because of his sudden vanishing act, but this seems silly and overly emotional. Many times per day, there are things that remind me of him, and all-of-a-sudden, he's not there anymore.

Any words of advice out there from anyone who's been through something like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

You're right -- but I just can't shake this off, for some reason.

 

[marylander1940]

1 minute ago, Empire_Man said:

You're right -- but I just can't shake this off, for some reason.

 

as (some of us) told you before, it's time to move on!

the guy was ungrateful like most truly gay per pay guys seem to be, possibly PNP had something to do or maybe he can see the end of his career coming and wants more. 

Just move on! Consider yourself lucky he's not blackmailing you!

Edited February 9 by marylander1940

[MikeBiDude]

54 minutes ago, Empire_Man said:

You're right -- but I just can't shake this off, for some reason.

 

Please don’t double post…topic merged

[secgoo]

Aawwwwwww Moderator,

 

I was monologuing a massive reply but it got lost when the topics were merged.

 

Well, I suppose one less monologue from me is only for the betterment of our community 😉✌️

[Luv2play]

This thread and Empire_Man may disappear soon. Just saying after seeing post on TechTalk.. 

[marylander1940]

19 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

This thread and Empire_Man may disappear soon. Just saying after seeing post on TechTalk.. 

I think now we know why the Gay-For-Pay guy got so upset! 

[marylander1940]

3 hours ago, secgoo said:

Aawwwwwww Moderator,

 

I was monologuing a massive reply but it got lost when the topics were merged.

 

Well, I suppose one less monologue from me is only for the betterment of our community 😉✌️

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'm really beginning to like anchovy on my pizza

[Guest]

I think we’re missing the point here: is that @Coolwave35in those photos of his companion? 🥵 🤤 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

FWIW - I think you guys are getting trolled. 

This story is similar to the other thread “Please Help, I’m Scared to Death”

both stories posted by new members on this site.  both with a long & detailed story about very unusual provider situations that don’t make sense.  and for both, it was their first provider experience.   both posted their stories within a few days of joining the site.

both seeking advice, but not really seeking advice 

coincidence ??  

may be wise to check to see how long these people have been members or what else they’ve posted before engaging them with their unique & far-fetched provider problems. the members intentions are good to help, but someone is obviously trying to take advantage of the goodwill.

Edited February 10 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ Coolwave35]

4 hours ago, Km411 said:

I think we’re missing the point here: is that @Coolwave35in those photos of his companion? 🥵 🤤 

lol!!!  It is not. 

[D21howie]

Good morning.  I agree with one of the posts on here about move on.  I am friends with a few of the escorts I use.  I tend to be good hearted in nature at times too.  A lot of times people want to help everybody but sometimes you have to learn that they need to help themselves first.

[Ganymede255]

Assuming the situation is as described and not a shaggy dog story, then our guest needs to consider how to respond if his erstwhile "friend" tries to reconnect down the road.  Whatever caused his friend to break things off may disappear or his friend's needs may change.  He undoubtedly knows that he has hurt our guest and that this could make him especially vulnerable.