Legit Massage v. Masseurfinder/RM

[SamMiller213]

I’ve recently made the switch from hiring off of MF/RM and started to scope out local establishments and independent providers instead. Talent started to dry up on the main websites and I was getting tired of overpriced and unskilled guys.

I’ve had a decent amount of luck just going with the flow and it leading to more with about a 60% - 70% success rate and learned a few things along the way.

1. A Google/Yelp search for male massage therapists was helpful in first finding independent therapists. Social media searches can be helpful too.

2. When possible I cross referenced online to see if I could find any social media that led me to see if they were on the same team as me and surprisingly that was usually pretty easy to confirm - I found this to obviously increase chances of something going further. It’s obviously much less likely from a “straight” provider but I can’t say it’s never happened before.

3. I never directly ask beforehand or during but instead just let it progress - there are ways to give subtle clues without being obvious and I’ve found this to actually be more stimulating for me and to limit the risk of crossing the line and being turned down.

4. Soothe/Zeel is much more hit or miss and again I’ve never flat out asked because I understand the risk - I’ve just let it progress and if it goes there it does. My success rate via these apps is much lower, probably in the 30% range but I’ve found this to increase with repeat visits.

I find this whole thing much more enjoyable than using the sites as there’s the unknown of what will happen which makes it more enticing.

My last hire was in Phoenix on a work trip and it worked out really well. I’m also decently hung which has been helpful here too 😂.

Any of you doing more of this and less of the main websites?

(Also, to be clear I’m not discussing any of the places and/or names here. This post is more about understanding people’s views on this topic and the approach rather than anything else.)

Edited September 27, 2023 by SamMiller213

[SpadeKing]

I’m with you. The thrill of the unkown definitely intensifies the session! And even if I don’t get the happy ending, I would be satisfied nevertheless if I got at the very least a killer massage.

[+ Mrprofessional]

I’m with you man. Not knowing if things will progress combined with provider expressing a willingness/interest because he wants to not because he’s obligated to. That’s Very hot!!!!

[TennisPro35]

@SamMiller213’s opening paragraph sums it up.  There are your MF/RM stalwarts but even then, these providers are possibly not in the right head (pun intended) anymore. I might go back to my Thai aunties for the legit massages and will check out the examples above on other therapists.  

[Benshugo]

Agreed on liking the thrill of the unknown, but curious what subtle hints you tend to go for or go with? I'm familiar with a number of things some masseurs do, but curious about others' experiences and recommendations as well. 

[starman05]

This is a great post, SamMiller.

I couldn't agree more on your points. There's something off (For me, personally) about when I text for info on parking, head rest or not and rates and I get a rate sheet with $ options for MT/HE. Makes me feel like I'm just a number. ("You are, Blanche! You are!")  

I prefer to just see how things unfold -- or not. 

I've mostly been extremely lucky hiring off websites and print ads back in the day. (One guy brandished a gun and I did my best not to react.)

I think it's a good idea to do a search based on what you suggest. That said I did find a real gem recently on MF. 

If you have any LA recommendations you can PM me on that would be appreciated. Thanks!

 

 

 

[soloyo215]

11 minutes ago, Benshugo said:

Agreed on liking the thrill of the unknown, but curious what subtle hints you tend to go for or go with? I'm familiar with a number of things some masseurs do, but curious about others' experiences and recommendations as well. 

Just my thoughts, not law: I think that for as long as we are men, especially the gay kind, we are always going to like the thrill of the unknown. I also think that in a massage setting, the masseur has the upper hand and can decide to give hints, as well as how far he's willing to go.

Here in Spain where I'm vacationing, I scheduled a massage at the hotel where I'm staying, not a gay hotel, just a mainstream hotel that has a spa and offer massages and spa-related services. When I scheduled mine, I was asked "Chica or chico?" (girl or boy?) for the masseur. I said "Chico" because, why not? Not expecting anything other than a nice relaxing massage, as the facilities are for all kinds of hotel guests, I went to my appointment not expecting and not even having anything in my mind, other than a relaxing time at the pool, the sauna and the thermal baths. The massage time came in, they gave me this paper/disposable g-string to wear, so I wasn't "naked". A minute or two into the massage, the nice gentleman masseur pulled the paper/disposable g-string down. Half an hour into it, the masseur and I almost break the massage table having sex. The fact that it was unexpected did add to the excitement and thrill of the whole thing. However, I am 100% sure that none of that happened if it wasn't for the initiative that the masseur took. Personally I don't give hints if I don't get one first, so to me, it's up to him.

[White lotus]

Same here. Much prefer mixed places and to find those hidden gems. If anyone has recs for places in nyc hmu (not the usual places that everyone knows)

[rustyrex]

I gave up on masseurfinder years ago and as soon as guys starting charging outrageous fees without any type of skill I went to a local guy.  He’s gay friendly and married but has thrown hints…I don’t let it go to far because he’s the type to back away and tell me he doesn’t want me  as a client if it goes to far.   Usually book an hour and a half it’s almost a steal. The massage is pretty good and I don’t feel ripped off because I don’t expect anything more.  Going to the other sites however, I end up paying more and might get some playtime with someone who isn’t trained but I expect more due to the overt advertising of erotic or sensual. Sometimes it’s anything but that.  Glad I found a regular guy that is reasonable.

[starman05]

3 hours ago, rustyrex said:

I gave up on masseurfinder years ago and as soon as guys starting charging outrageous fees without any type of skill I went to a local guy.  He’s gay friendly and married but has thrown hints…I don’t let it go to far because he’s the type to back away and tell me he doesn’t want me  as a client if it goes to far.   Usually book an hour and a half it’s almost a steal. The massage is pretty good and I don’t feel ripped off because I don’t expect anything more.  Going to the other sites however, I end up paying more and might get some playtime with someone who isn’t trained but I expect more due to the overt advertising of erotic or sensual. Sometimes it’s anything but that.  Glad I found a regular guy that is reasonable.

I have times in my life when I really just want to go in and collapse on a guy's table and have him nurture me. I can always take care of business before I arrive or after I get home.

Knowing he's straight takes all the 'will he or won't he' (MOST of the time) from the equation/experience. 

[Guest]

This is interesting, I agree the selection on the sites has been very lackluster lately.  I have had several bad experiences.  I do enjoy the thrill of not knowing and being surprised.  Unfortunately, my last two massages had no extras, but they were good massages.  The ones before that were all extras (if you could call them that), but no massage.  I do like a mix of both.  So, I am interested in learning more of these techniques for searching.  

[buffoonmh]

does anyone have recs in the la area? you can dm me 

[massagenewbie84]

I agree in that it’s the thrill of the unknown, and the dance between me and the masseur, figuring if they’re game. Ive had luck with masseurs where the text exchange had nothing about going further at all, but the massage itself did go further. I usually respond to their initiative; them putting their clothed crotch in my hand, or brushing their bulge on my head. Or if they brush their hand in certain areas, I’ll let out a moan to show that it felt good. 
 

Those are my most memorable masseurs, the ones I go back to. I usually don’t go back to any that present a menu of options. I like the organicness of letting the massage session unfold. 

[Swazca]

As I have said on other threads before... I seriously wish that "escort" masseurs would simply post up on Rent.men instead of RM and MF.  The first thing I look at is the rates they are charging.  When it says "ask me" that's a hard pass instantly, because 9 out of 10 you go to the reviews (if there are any) and they have $300+ for 60-minutes in their reviews.  

I have been lucky enough to find a couple of legit masseurs in the Phoenix area, one of which has recently thrown in the towel and stopped doing massage.  The one who threw in the towel was simply tired of clients pushing his limits in wanting more of an escort session at masseur rates.  

I will say that I have seen in the last three years a wave of new "masseurs" enter the market along with the "travelers" that have increased the prices.  I attribute slight increases to the economy, that's a given; but having a standard baseline at $200 for 60 has me rarely hiring new guys.  

 

[soloyo215]

5 hours ago, questbear said:

This is interesting, I agree the selection on the sites has been very lackluster lately.  I have had several bad experiences.  I do enjoy the thrill of not knowing and being surprised.  Unfortunately, my last two massages had no extras, but they were good massages.  The ones before that were all extras (if you could call them that), but no massage.  I do like a mix of both.  So, I am interested in learning more of these techniques for searching.  

I don't know if this is a "technique", but I do a combination of what most people have posted. If I see that the masseur also has a profile in rentmen, chances are that he will either offer more extras than massage, or might offer to up-sell the massage for extras. If the profile's rates say "Ask", I look at the reviews, and the rates can give me a clue of what people are really paying for. The rest is just my own intuition, and the masseur's credentials. RM has a filter for certified masseurs only, and that should screen out those that are less qualified for quality massages.

I once reached out to a masseur that in the text was very clear and descriptive of what he offered and his rates: $XY for massage only, $XYZ for massage, some play and HE, and $XYZABCDEFG for everything in the book. That takes away the "thrill", but sometimes is useful to have a clue of what to expect. I think communication and directly asking can help too. I imagine they should not be offended for asking about expectations. I'm sure that they know what kind of site they are in.

[Thelatin]

I stopped by an Asian place the other day as I was killing time.  Not expecting anything.  I was half way undressed, the old lady came in ripped my t-shirt off for me, pulled down my boxers, slapped my ass and giggled.  She was nasty.  Good massage.

[EastbayMike]

1 hour ago, Thelatin said:

I stopped by an Asian place the other day as I was killing time.  Not expecting anything.  I was half way undressed, the old lady came in ripped my t-shirt off for me, pulled down my boxers, slapped my ass and giggled.  She was nasty.  Good massage.

You had me at "old lady".....

[Guest]

2 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

I don't know if this is a "technique", but I do a combination of what most people have posted. If I see that the masseur also has a profile in rentmen, chances are that he will either offer more extras than massage, or might offer to up-sell the massage for extras. If the profile's rates say "Ask", I look at the reviews, and the rates can give me a clue of what people are really paying for. The rest is just my own intuition, and the masseur's credentials. RM has a filter for certified masseurs only, and that should screen out those that are less qualified for quality massages.

I once reached out to a masseur that in the text was very clear and descriptive of what he offered and his rates: $XY for massage only, $XYZ for massage, some play and HE, and $XYZABCDEFG for everything in the book. That takes away the "thrill", but sometimes is useful to have a clue of what to expect. I think communication and directly asking can help too. I imagine they should not be offended for asking about expectations. I'm sure that they know what kind of site they are in.

Oh yes.  I have a subscription to Rent Men so I can do this, too.  The only difference is, I typically don't ask.   I go with the flow and see what happens.  I try to read the vibes.  Maybe put some feelers out and see what develops.  I have definitely found the ones that have no massage training to be completely lackluster as of late.  Even in the sensual/erotic department.  I had my first 4-handed massage recently, and I'm not sure how it's possible to have 4 hand touching me and yet not receive an actual massage, nor anything remotely erotic.  

[rustyrex]

Remember if you want more you have to be up front about it. I got to the point where I’ll ask for playtime and they either say yes or no. If they say no, I move on..I’ve gotten to old to do the maybe or  maybe not guessing game.  I just ask for what I want or need.  Better to go in and know what your getting than pay a lot money and be pissed jr didn’t even get caressed. 

Edited September 28, 2023 by rustyrex

[soloyo215]

6 hours ago, questbear said:

I had my first 4-handed massage recently, and I'm not sure how it's possible to have 4 hand touching me and yet not receive an actual massage, nor anything remotely erotic.  

I can attest to that being possible. I tried a 4-hand massage and it didn't do it for me. I'm not against the concept, but it wasn't anything I cared for. In my case I stopped it (politely, didn't want to create an unsavory situation). I felt crowded.

Yes, the filters in the websites help with at least sifting through those who are clueless by not having any kind of certification.

[CuriousByNature]

15 hours ago, Thelatin said:

I stopped by an Asian place the other day as I was killing time.  Not expecting anything.  I was half way undressed, the old lady came in ripped my t-shirt off for me, pulled down my boxers, slapped my ass and giggled.  She was nasty.  Good massage.

[FLJock]

On 9/28/2023 at 2:07 AM, starman05 said:

I have times in my life when I really just want to go in and collapse on a guy's table and have him nurture me. I can always take care of business before I arrive or after I get home.

Knowing he's straight takes all the 'will he or won't he' (MOST of the time) from the equation/experience. 

Agreed, I've gone the str8 masseur route, usually for a change of pace (but sometimes because I've done everyone else).  

The last one I saw, however, was my wife this and my wife that, which didn't bother me too much as we were talking relationships and generalities.  When I turned over I was surprised that the ending started to get happy but also that he pulled out a very thick, very hard tool, which I got to play with for a bit.  So you just never know.  

[starman05]

2 hours ago, FLJock said:

Agreed, I've gone the str8 masseur route, usually for a change of pace (but sometimes because I've done everyone else).  

The last one I saw, however, was my wife this and my wife that, which didn't bother me too much as we were talking relationships and generalities.  When I turned over I was surprised that the ending started to get happy but also that he pulled out a very thick, very hard tool, which I got to play with for a bit.  So you just never know.  

I would gently suggest that he's more 'straight to bed' than 'straight' 

I work in show business and am regularly meeting aspiring actors and it almost becomes a game where I can guess how quickly it will take the actor to work into casual conversation 'well, my wife...' 'well, my girlfriend...' 

I swear one time I joked 'how long is she going to be in Canada?' "Did I tell you that?'

I could be wrong but I don't come off threatening or leering; I think some guys are just so conditioned to include subtly or not so subtly that they're straight that they don't even know how it comes off; of course, many are indeed straight; others? not so much. 

[CARyan]

Does anyone have a lead on a place in Phoenix where a legit massage might be a good start?  I have found a couple with male masseurs, but to book a couple sessions with each male at every place wouldn’t be cost effective lol. Feel free to dm me as well

thanks!

[JSchorr]

On 9/28/2023 at 4:31 PM, rustyrex said:

Remember if you want more you have to be up front about it. I got to the point where I’ll ask for playtime and they either say yes or no. If they say no, I move on..I’ve gotten to old to do the maybe or  maybe not guessing game.  I just ask for what I want or need.  Better to go in and know what your getting than pay a lot money and be pissed jr didn’t even get caressed. 

I agree completely.  I have found it best to ask POLITELY if the massage is mutual nude, mutual touch etc.  I don’t usually go beyond that. The guys I have encountered seem to appreciate the honesty and the non aggressive approach.  I am older so I appreciate any attention I can get. Sometimes things progress a little farther, all depends on the chemistry but I don’t go in there expecting that.