The Role of "Sub"

[ICTJOCK]

So I have a client that had encouraged me to play the role of a sub during my bookings with him.    He isn't a new client and I knew he had previous relationships that could best be described as  Dom/ Sub.

He wanted to know if I would be comfortable with the role of "sub"  for our encounters.   I am vers in many ways,  but I  wasn't sure if I could pull it off.    I'm a Type A personality,  dynamic and am used to taking the initiative in most situations.    No,  not much like a sub.      But part of being a good escort is the ability to change up and explore new avenues so I said I'd do it.

Perhaps a bit awkward the first outing,  but I have found I actually enjoy some of what he does and encourages me to do to make him happy.    One key point is,  I have broadened my horizon and experience by participating and for that I'm pleased.   The client appears to be happy as well.

[+ DynamicUno]

That's cool that you're able to explore an area of sexuality with your client and are willing to see how it goes.  Dom/sub roleplay can be more challenging for both sides than some people realize, and it helps to have a mindset open to the demands of each role.

It really helps to have some experience with the other person beforehand, too.  At minimum a chance to meet and discuss expectations and boundaries.  

I hope you continue to have some good sessions with this client, and pick up some skills you can use with other clients in the future.  I believe the best doms have experience on the sub side, so you may find that plays well with your Type A personality in the future.

[+ nycman]

There’s a big straight muscle sub who loves coming over and getting pounded out by me on a pretty regular basis. It took me a while to feel comfortable dominating him, because he could honestly break me in half. Anyways it’s been super fun for both of us. The other day while we were rolling around in bed, he ended up on top of me with me in a very sub position. Now, I normally have a very hard time assuming a sub role. It’s just not me, and I have a tremendous respect for men who can. But in that moment, it felt natural and organic. I felt myself freeze up for less than a second, then relax into him. It was a very powerful and emotional moment and he handled it beautifully and respectfully. 

What I’m trying to say is….sometimes, with the right person, it’s fun to explore outside your comfort zone!

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I'm a Type A personality,  dynamic and am used to taking the initiative in most situations.    No,  not much like a sub.      But part of being a good escort is the ability to change up and explore new avenues.

Type A personalities ( speaking from experience) often benefit emotionaly / spiritualy from surrendering to a trusted superior during a rewarding sexual encounter.

[soloyo215]

16 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I am vers in many ways,  but I  wasn't sure if I could pull it off.    I'm a Type A personality,  dynamic and am used to taking the initiative in most situations.    No,  not much like a sub.

In the early 2000s, I delved into the world of BDSM in the hetero world (I was creating websites for dominatrices in NYC), and something that I learned is that many of the people who play the sub are in fact people who out of it are either Type A personality, people in positions of authority, and/or people who tend to be/take charge. It's just a role that they play.

I'd say go for it if it feels right for you to try, but only if it feels right for you to try it. Nothing worse than a person who's bad at being a sub, you don't want to ruin the client's fantasy.

[ICTJOCK]

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Type A personalities ( speaking from experience) often benefit emotionaly / spiritualy from surrendering to a trusted superior during a rewarding sexual encounter.

What you are saying is absolutely correct,  at least in my case.   He seems to be having a great time.    I definitely find it a physically challenging experience...lol

[Simon Suraci]

9 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

something that I learned is that many of the people who play the sub are in fact people who out of it are either Type A personality, people in positions of authority, and/or people who tend to be/take charge. It's just a role that they play.

I concur. The majority of my bdsm spectrum clients are this way. Not everyone, but a lot.

It's a cathartic and enlightening experience for most. It's more than just sex. It's a headspace and a mental and spiritual release. I think it's pretty healthy for the Type As among us to explore sub role play, not just for sexual gratification, but for better mental health.

I embrace the sub role when requested, but it's much less common that someone requests to dominate me.

[ICTJOCK]

On 9/21/2023 at 1:05 PM, DynamicUno said:

That's cool that you're able to explore an area of sexuality with your client and are willing to see how it goes.  Dom/sub roleplay can be more challenging for both sides than some people realize, and it helps to have a mindset open to the demands of each role.

It really helps to have some experience with the other person beforehand, too.  At minimum a chance to meet and discuss expectations and boundaries.  

I hope you continue to have some good sessions with this client, and pick up some skills you can use with other clients in the future.  I believe the best doms have experience on the sub side, so you may find that plays well with your Type A personality in the future.

I'm getting a lot of experience.    And the comfort level has improved.