Hitting on someone

[wsc]

On 7/27/2023 at 7:20 PM, purplekow said:

In a supermarket one could innocently say, Do you know where the mozzarella is?  and before he answers continue with, I am so tired of take out I thought I would cook but the only thing I know how to cook is veal parmigiana and now Can't find the darn cheese.   Stop and if you get a no or a brief it is in aisle two, then move on to the next guy. Let me ask my wife is a definite no.  However, you may get an answer like, let me show you where it is, or I don't cook either and a conversation is to be had.

Of course your course may differ.  Steak sauce, tortillas, shrimp etc.    

Most important be smiling, be brief and know when to hold em and know when to fold em.  The handsomest dealer does not always have the biggest deck.   

Alternatively, one could ask which aisle has the condoms and lube.
Cards on the table time!

[MscleLovr]

On 7/29/2023 at 7:05 AM, Unicorn said:

The least threatening way of finding out if he's interested is asking him out for a cup of coffee (I suppose in the UK it'd probably be for a cup of tea) sometime

No. In the UK, it’s definitely for coffee (absolutely not “a cup of”). And it’s not for tea, unless you’re chatting up a maiden aunt or other elderly lady 🙂

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

No. In the UK, it’s definitely for coffee (absolutely not “a cup of”). And it’s not for tea, unless you’re chatting up a maiden aunt or other elderly lady 🙂

Interesting. It looks as though Starbucks has accomplished in the UK, what the Boston Tea Party accomplished in the US. When I see British movies, I always heard invitations for "a cuppa" (which I assumed meant tea). I guess it's an outdated stereotype. Thanks for the update!

 

[MscleLovr]

@Unicorn, you know how to wound 😎 Starbucks?! The horror.
 

Generally speaking, that is the most reviled chain of coffee stores in the UK.  They’re seen as selling sugary drinks that have a scant relation to coffee. And in my view, their beans are over-roasted.

There are a couple of major British chains of coffee places, but there are also many small independent coffee shops in various cities that serve excellent coffee.

[Guest]

Well, my Starbucks stock has been very good to me. That being said, my beau agrees with you. He prefers Dunkin' Donuts, an East Coast chain. If I were to try to hit on someone, I'd probably invite him to Starbucks, though. 

[Rudynate]

14 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

Well, my Starbucks stock has been very good to me. That being said, my beau agrees with you. He prefers Dunkin' Donuts, an East Coast chain. If I were to try to hit on someone, I'd probably invite him to Starbucks, though. 

That last time I was in LV, I went to Dunkin' Donots for the first time ever - surprisingly, the coffee was really good. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

There are a couple of major British chains of coffee places, but there are also many small independent coffee shops in various cities that serve excellent coffee.

Costa and Nero aren't horrible for mass-market java.  

I despise Pret and Starbucks.

I still go to Patisserie Valerie, if only out of my unwavering love for Absolutely Fabulous.

[+ poolboy48220]

17 hours ago, Rudynate said:

That last time I was in LV, I went to Dunkin' Donots for the first time ever - surprisingly, the coffee was really good. 

 I used to swear by Dunkin Donuts coffee.  I think the fact that they go through a lot, so the pot's always fresh, has a lot to do with it. 

[pubic_assistance]

Back to the subject:

Inviting someone for a drink, or a coffee is a standard signal for wanting to get to know you better. Doesn't matter where you have that beverage.

But this is also a standard way of getting to know a friend...so if you want to make it clear you're looking for some bedroom time you need to navigate the conversation into more personal / intimate subjects pretty quickly and don't just talk about the weather.

[Rudynate]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Back to the subject:

Inviting someone for a drink, or a coffee is a standard signal for wanting to get to know you better. Doesn't matter where you have that beverage.

But this is also a standard way of getting to know a friend...so if you want to make it clear you're looking for some bedroom time you need to navigate the conversation into more personal / intimate subjects pretty quickly and don't just talk about the weather.

I love coffee or drinks.  There isnt much at stake, it's a nice way to while away 30 mintues, and you get a good fix on a person.

[Rudynate]

21 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

No. In the UK, it’s definitely for coffee (absolutely not “a cup of”). And it’s not for tea, unless you’re chatting up a maiden aunt or other elderly lady 🙂

It used to be that, first thing in the morning or with breakfast, it was tea, then coffee later in the day.

[Rudynate]

On 7/25/2023 at 5:40 AM, ThroatCummer said:

Be nice and respectful. Don't lead with sex but with a solid compliment.  "Wanna have sex" or anything sex related can be a turn off... but the one line that works for me every time is:

"Damn man, you're handsome as hell" 

It shows your intent and your interest. It's a genuine compliment that every guy will take, even the 100% straight ones. It's non-threatening. It just works. 

Try it. 

Maybe.  In rural Mississippi, it could get you punched out, but in San Francisco, even a lot of straight guys enjoy flirting.  Years ago, I went to a weekly business networking breakfast.  There were a mortgage broker and a real estate broker, both straight and married, both great-looking, who actually used to compete for my attention.   I thought the dynamic was a lot of fun. 

[Rudynate]

On 7/27/2023 at 9:23 AM, kingsley88 said:

I agree you won't succeed every time. Getting a read of the room will only come with experience.

In a non-bar setting, some guys might think you're a creep depending on the way you hit on them. Just be self-aware.  

I belonged to a BNI group for awhile and I volunteered to be a greeter.  The main job was to make sure that guests and new members were comfortable.  Every week I stood at the door saying hello to everybody as they arrived and shaking hands - "Good morning, great to see you,"  etc. etc.   I got so comfortable at working a room, and enjoying it, that I just started meeting people everywhere and getting into great conversations.

[pubic_assistance]

4 hours ago, Rudynate said:

Maybe.  In rural Mississippi, it could get you punched out, but in San Francisco, even a lot of straight guys enjoy flirting.  Years ago, I went to a weekly business networking breakfast.  There were a mortgage broker and a real estate broker, both straight and married, both great-looking, who actually used to compete for my attention.   I thought the dynamic was a lot of fun. 

All sophisticated cities with educated people have straight guys who enjoy being hit on by the gays.

Girls are just after their wallet. If a gay guy hits on you it's taken as a compliment of your sexual prowess. So some straight guys seek put this validation.

[Rudynate]

22 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

All sophisticated cities with educated people have straight guys who enjoy being hit on by the gays.

Girls are just after their wallet. If a gay guy hits on you it's taken as a compliment of your sexual prowess. So some straight guys seek put this validation.

Sexual prowess?  I don't know about that - I imagine the average gay guy is much more skilled at sex than the average straight guy

[pubic_assistance]

4 hours ago, Rudynate said:

I imagine the average gay guy is much more skilled at sex than the average straight guy

Really ?

Some of the gay guys I've met over the years are pretty bad in bed.

Women are far more demanding in bed than gays. So straight guys need to try harder.

[+ azdr0710]

though a bit oriented toward business meetings, the tidbits in this google search for "how to work a room" might be icebreakers.....

how+to+work+a+room - Google Search

WWW.GOOGLE.COM

 

[+ friendofsheila]

On 7/24/2023 at 12:28 PM, Cbilly17 said:

Conversation, that may lead to something more.

1) a dating class taught me to find places that give me a chance for "prolonged verbal contact"

like laundromat, etceteraa.

2)  "The roof is an excuse" meaning that whatever "roof" you are "under" is an excuse to start a conversation.

esxcample:  Bus stop "Does this bus run on time, usually?"  

line outside restaurant:  I recommend the chicken marengo here.  have you aever had it?

 

 

[Rudynate]

45 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Really ?

Some of the gay guys I've met over the years are pretty bad in bed.

Women are far more demanding in bed than gays. So straight guys need to try harder.

Note that I didn't say all gays are good in bed.  Of course I've had my share of lousy lays.  Truth be told. before I learned to excuse myself and walk away from a mistmatch, I was a lousy lay on more than one occasion. 

[CuriousByNature]

12 hours ago, friendofsheila said:

 

esxcample:  Bus stop "Does this bus run on time, usually?"  

Me: "Nope, it runs on gasoline"

Is it any surprise I'll be an 80 year-old virgin if I manage to live that long? 🤣

Edited August 4, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[wsc]

Not universally true, of course -few things are- but in my experience younger men are generally less eager to engage in being flirted by an older man, and men older than their mid-40s seem to not want to be bothered. However mid-30s to mid-40s -especially straight men- are sometimes more agreeable and playful with it. I'm guessing there are two reasons for this: intention and attention. First, they've no intention of carrying through to a sexual situation so they don't really feel threatened, and secondly, they like the attention because it reassures them that they've still got it, meaning the looks, the body, the swagger, etc., to be found attractive and desirable. And it's also been my experience that they're absolutely adorable when you make them blush. Which naughty old me sometimes can. And, even if you don't "score," you may find a new friend and be able to enjoy their company from time to time. And that's not nothing.

[ICTJOCK]

Well I generally get hit on,  not the other way around,  but maybe this perspective will be helpful.    For those that hit on me,  it is usually started with a conversation about something I'm interested in,  like fitness or other topic.   Maybe a photo (if online),  my car or even my lawn (which really did happen once).   The guy there wanted me to give him a tour of my house.   It was someone I want to college and he was married.    I never did give him the tour,  but we are still friended on FB.

[+ friendofsheila]

22 hours ago, friendofsheila said:

1) a dating class taught me to find places that give me a chance for "prolonged verbal contact"

like laundromat, etceteraa.

2)  "The roof is an excuse" meaning that whatever "roof" you are "under" is an excuse to start a conversation.

esxcample:  Bus stop "Does this bus run on time, usually?"  

line outside restaurant:  I recommend the chicken marengo here.  have you aever had it?

 

 

I'm reading more carefully this time.  Your goals sound different from mine.  When you say "Conversation, that may lead to something more" it sounds like you're interested in conversation first and sex soon if it is available.  

Me I want to have a converstation.  "something more" for me is more converstation, perhaps on a date.   so I think my strategies wont' be of interest to you.
 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

Well I generally get hit on,  not the other way around...

I feel a song coming on...

 

Libretto/Lyrics/Text/Testo:

MARGUERITE
Ah! je ris de me voir

si belle en ce miroir,

Ah! je ris de me voir

si belle en ce miroir,

Est-ce toi, Marguerite, est-ce toi?

Réponds-moi, réponds-moi,

Réponds, réponds, réponds vite!

...

English Libretto or Translation:

MARGUERITE
Ah, I laugh to see myself

so beautiful in this mirror,

Ah, I laugh to see myself

so beautiful in this mirror,

Is it you, Marguerite, it is you?

Answer me, answer me,

Respond, respond, respond quickly!

...

Edited August 5, 2023 by Unicorn

[+ bashful]

On 8/3/2023 at 7:59 PM, friendofsheila said:

1) a dating class taught me to find places that give me a chance for "prolonged verbal contact"

like laundromat, etceteraa.

2)  "The roof is an excuse" meaning that whatever "roof" you are "under" is an excuse to start a conversation.

esxcample:  Bus stop "Does this bus run on time, usually?"  

line outside restaurant:  I recommend the chicken marengo here.  have you aever had it?

 

 

Years ago, power went out in our neighborhood for a few days.  Our building has a back up generator to light public spaces, but it was out in all our apartments.  Turned out, the outlets in the lobby had power.  Met and learned a lot about several of the neighbors as we all sat and talked waiting for our phones to charge.