Jaroslav Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Really a simple question: when did escorting become about the escort getting a service from the provider? I see more and more ads that seem more like Seeking Arrangements profiles. I’m not interested in being an escort’s sugar daddy. That’s a service to the escort. To me, the escort is a service provider to me. If I wanted something more than a weekly BFE with a regular, then I would go to something like Seeking Arrangements, not Rentmen. It’s not a complete 180 on the roles, to be sure, but the lines definitely seem fuzzier than before with more and more escorts looking for “sugar.” I thought the transaction was “client pays, escort provides.” Am I missing something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Courtesans. They’ve been around forever. Some clients like this arrangement. So do some providers. pubic_assistance and + Coolwave35 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BtmBearDad Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 I’ve not seen an ad on RM yet that is explicitly looking only for a longer term sugar relationship, and not interested in the more standard provider/client engagements. I’ve seen a few where something along the lines of “open to longer term arrangements” is stated. I don’t think it’s anything new or shocking to see though. To my mind, the providers are letting their clients/potential clients know if they want it on the regular, it can be discussed. About 4 or 5 years ago, after reading some comments on here, and being encouraged by another member, I decided to try out SA. While it wasn’t for me, I was surprised at the amount of crossover between RM and SA. It was fascinating reading an ad on SA vs one on RM - the “real” vs the “fantasy” if you will. I don’t agree that in a longer term sugar, it’s the client who is the one providing the service. You both are. At the end of the day, whether it’s a standard engagement or a longer term sugar relationship, both provider and client are giving, and getting something in return. This works for some, others have no interest. Different strokes for different folks. BBD GTMike and pubic_assistance 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ tassojunior Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 I've seen some RM ads looking for sugar daddies. (who isn't?) Also a number of pro bodybuilders who escort look for "sponsors" in escort ads......that's a traditional arrangement in bb as it's an expensive hobby for people who can't work much. Topbreed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 3 hours ago, BtmBearDad said: I’ve not seen an ad on RM yet that is explicitly looking only for a longer term sugar relationship... https://rent.men/Peachbradley "Looking for a sugar daddy type, someone who enjoys the company of a handsome smart younger guy, or is looking for an assistant/some kind of work. Not looking for sex (unless the price is too good to turn down haha) A little about me: Day trader, social media influencer, love sports, watching college football (Buckeyes), golf, singer, shopping, trying new restaurants, cars, traveling, and open to meeting new people! I'm friendly so message me a little about yourself and we can maybe meet "... As you said, a lot of crossover. Why wouldn't an escort be open to a long-term arrangement, unless he prefers the stress of not knowing what to expect for the future? I guess there are some people who simply enjoy sex with any comer, the more the merrier. I'm also guessing that a good proportion prefer a more secure life. Hopefully, this "PeachBradley" also has an ad on Seeking Arrangements, because that's the best place to find a sugar-daddy, but I'm sure a lot of escorts eventually find a SD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BtmBearDad Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 21 minutes ago, Unicorn said: https://rent.men/Peachbradley "Looking for a sugar daddy type, someone who enjoys the company of a handsome smart younger guy, or is looking for an assistant/some kind of work. Not looking for sex (unless the price is too good to turn down haha) A little about me: Day trader, social media influencer, love sports, watching college football (Buckeyes), golf, singer, shopping, trying new restaurants, cars, traveling, and open to meeting new people! I'm friendly so message me a little about yourself and we can maybe meet "... As you said, a lot of crossover. Why wouldn't an escort be open to a long-term arrangement, unless he prefers the stress of not knowing what to expect for the future? I guess there are some people who simply enjoy sex with any comer, the more the merrier. I'm also guessing that a good proportion prefer a more secure life. Hopefully, this "PeachBradley" also has an ad on Seeking Arrangements, because that's the best place to find a sugar-daddy, but I'm sure a lot of escorts eventually find a SD. Well, you see something new everyday I suppose 😜 I will say, to me, that is a bizarre ad for RM. No sex? Yeah, I agree he, and what he’s looking for, is better suited for SA. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised at the crossover between RM and SA. As you say, why wouldn’t a provider want or be open to a long term arrangement? In my experience, what I know of this side of our hobby, the providers that have found that long term arrangement found from amongst their clients. There are providers who acquire a roster of regulars, and retire their ad; others who get into a one-on-one long term with a provider and retire; I also know at least 2 couples (I suspect a third lol) who met as provider and client, and both gave up this hobby and married. But then again, SA wasn’t around when these examples transpired, but now that it is, it makes perfect sense for there to be crossover between both of them. What was interesting to me most was the narratives on the SA ad vs the RM ad. You definitely got more of an insight into the real provider on SA. Sometimes it was 100% in line with the basics on their RM ad, but other times not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 (edited) Another issue which some RM escorts can run into is that SA officially rejects any hint that people who post there might escort, and SA has banned ads that even hint at providing escort services (or if the daddies complain). I have run into escorts for whom that's happened, although my partner had ads on both RM and SA at the time I met him. Edited February 27, 2023 by Unicorn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTMike Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 (edited) 44 minutes ago, Unicorn said: https://rent.men/Peachbradley "Looking for a sugar daddy type, someone who enjoys the company of a handsome smart younger guy, or is looking for an assistant/some kind of work. Not looking for sex (unless the price is too good to turn down haha) A little about me: Day trader, social media influencer, love sports, watching college football (Buckeyes), golf, singer, shopping, trying new restaurants, cars, traveling, and open to meeting new people! I'm friendly so message me a little about yourself and we can maybe meet "... As you said, a lot of crossover. Why wouldn't an escort be open to a long-term arrangement, unless he prefers the stress of not knowing what to expect for the future? I guess there are some people who simply enjoy sex with any comer, the more the merrier. I'm also guessing that a good proportion prefer a more secure life. Hopefully, this "PeachBradley" also has an ad on Seeking Arrangements, because that's the best place to find a sugar-daddy, but I'm sure a lot of escorts eventually find a SD. I don't know if it's clear in your gents conversation but just in case and FYI that particular gent has had an SA profile for a good while and then more recently I noticed that he added an RM profile. Let me be clearer. I don't know if it's the same person behind the profiles. But the pictures are the same. Edited February 27, 2023 by GTMike Just adding to original comment BtmBearDad 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Just now, GTMike said: I don't know if it's clear in your gents conversation but just in case and FYI that particular gent has had an SA profile for a good while and then more recently I noticed that he added an RM profile. Daddies can only view SA profiles if they pay a heavy fee. Since I already have a partner, there's no reason for me to pay the fee just so I can look at profiles, other than for some J/O material which I can easily get elsewhere. Last time I was on SA, I think daddies had to pay some $100 a month just to browse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted February 27, 2023 Author Share Posted February 27, 2023 Question: does SA explicitly forbid any mention of sugaring in exchange for a sexual partnership? I honestly don’t know because I haven’t explored it. I’m not really into the idea of sponsoring someone to live a carefree life on my dime, so I haven’t ever really considered sugaring something I would enjoy. Perhaps there’s more to it than that, but at the end of the day, it seems that you have to enjoy enabling to enjoy sugaring…Not that it’s wrong if you do; just not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted February 27, 2023 Author Share Posted February 27, 2023 I wanted to also say before it submitted… Those mentions of looking for sugar daddies I also find a bit offputting when looking to hire. I feel like I’m going to be handled as a second-class client because I’m not looking to go all in for the all-inclusive care-for-you experience. That could be my baggage but it’s what I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 1 hour ago, Jaroslav said: I wanted to also say before it submitted… Those mentions of looking for sugar daddies I also find a bit offputting when looking to hire. I feel like I’m going to be handled as a second-class client because I’m not looking to go all in for the all-inclusive care-for-you experience. That could be my baggage but it’s what I feel. Clients looking for regular meetings are rarely unwelcome by providers. Chemistry must be symmetrical, which takes time to evaluate. If providers interested in an “arrangement” were seeking ONLY that, they would not be listing on RM. Assume that you’ll be getting the guy’s best effort at making a good first impression. You’re in the majority as far a clients go: Happy to pay fee for time. Happy to tip for extra fine service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 4 hours ago, Unicorn said: A little about me: Day trader, social media influencer,… AKA "unemployed". Jaroslav, + jeezopete, + azdr0710 and 6 others 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 4 hours ago, Jaroslav said: Question: does SA explicitly forbid any mention of sugaring in exchange for a sexual partnership?... Yes, they do, and they will ban anyone who hints of $$ for intimacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 5 hours ago, BtmBearDad said: Well, you see something new everyday I suppose.... There are other similar ads: https://rent.men/Julianscott "I’m looking for a daddy to make long term plans with and enjoy life together ❤️ Southern boy based in Los Angeles with a hot body and a friendly personality!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 On 2/27/2023 at 8:08 PM, Unicorn said: Yes, they do, and they will ban anyone who hints of $$ for intimacy. Isn’t that about as ingenuine as saying that the compensation we pay escorts is for time and time alone? Everyone knows what is afoot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 On 2/27/2023 at 5:37 PM, jeezifonly said: Happy to pay fee for time. This is exactly what I meant above. We all *know* this is some sort of self-deceptive lie some folks tell themselves to say it’s not compensation for sex. Saying something doesn’t make it that. By your logic, @jeezifonly, extra fine service would be extra time, nothing more, if the service we’re paying for is time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 11 hours ago, Jaroslav said: Isn’t that about as ingenuine as saying that the compensation we pay escorts is for time and time alone? Everyone knows what is afoot. The point they seem to be making on Seeking is that it's a RELATIONSHIP site, not a hook-up/ escort site. If you're in a "relationship" it's normal to buy things for your guy ( or gal ) especially if there's a big difference in your economic situations ( exactly the dynamic of Seeking ). Helping with the rent, or buying a Versace jacket for your boo, is not illegal. Paying for sex, is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said: The point they seem to be making on Seeking is that it's a RELATIONSHIP site, not a hook-up/ escort site. If you're in a "relationship" it's normal to buy things for your guy ( or gal ) especially if there's a big difference in your economic situations ( exactly the dynamic of Seeking ). Helping with the rent, or buying a Versace jacket for your boo, is not illegal. Paying for sex, is. True, but it's not much of a distinction. Men have always had to put out $$ or other favors in order to get their mates to put out for them since before recorded history. Consent for sex is transactional, more often than not, other than in the somewhat rare exception of same-sex hookups with equally attractive partners. Whether it comes in hard cash, rent, or a Versace jacket, sex between a hotter person and one less hot (or between female and male) almost always boils down to $$ for sex. Let's be honest with ourselves. With escorts, all that's lost is the pretense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said: The point they seem to be making on Seeking is that it's a RELATIONSHIP site, not a hook-up/ escort site. If you're in a "relationship" it's normal to buy things for your guy ( or gal ) especially if there's a big difference in your economic situations ( exactly the dynamic of Seeking ). Helping with the rent, or buying a Versace jacket for your boo, is not illegal. Paying for sex, is. It’s a matter of what is said and what is meant. Especially when There’s a power/means differential. If the relationship (or transaction) ends when the sex isn’t up to par (likely for the daddy or client), then we know the sex is part of the exchange. Just because you don’t explicitly say it doesn’t mean we don’t all know it’s part of it. The idea that because it’s not said so therefore isn’t meant is silly. We can believe what we want, but everyone knows what’s up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaroslav Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 31 minutes ago, Unicorn said: Let's be honest with ourselves. With escorts, all that's lost is the pretense. 👏🏻 Where does this idea come from that if I say it’s not for sex it’s therefore not for sex? Oops! I hired a guy who advertised “his time” with pictures of himself in seminude and outright nude pictures, and guess what happened?! Sex! That was never the plan! Never! Believe that and I’ll sell you a bridge in Brooklyn… NJF 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 2 hours ago, Jaroslav said: The idea that because it’s not said so therefore isn’t meant is silly. You seem to have missed the point. Paying for sex is ILLEGAL in the United States. Hardly "silly" to want to not be explicitly breaking the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 3 hours ago, Unicorn said: True, but it's not much of a distinction. Men have always had to put out $$ or other favors in order to get their mates to put out for them since before recorded history. Consent for sex is transactional, more often than not, other than in the somewhat rare exception of same-sex hookups with equally attractive partners. Whether it comes in hard cash, rent, or a Versace jacket, sex between a hotter person and one less hot (or between female and male) almost always boils down to $$ for sex. Let's be honest with ourselves. With escorts, all that's lost is the pretense. Men have always dropped some cash on their date. That's how SEEKING operates outside the newly broad definitions of sex trafficking. You are there looking for someone to DATE. You are expected to take them to dinner and a movie and pay for both. IF you have sexy-time, that is OFFICIALLY, LEGALLY for free. The fact that you helped pay their rent for March is merely coincidence. Some of you people don't seem to understand that prostitution IS still *** ILLEGAL*** Dating is not illegal. DO THE MATH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 53 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said: ... IF you have sexy-time, that is OFFICIALLY, LEGALLY for free. The fact that you helped pay their rent for March is merely coincidence... Just a coinky dink! I understand the argument, and also understand why SA has to be a bit careful. However, the reality is that it's just legal sophistry, IMHO. A feel a song coming on... "Take back your mink; take your poils. What made you think I was one of those goils?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 18 hours ago, Jaroslav said: This is exactly what I meant above. We all *know* this is some sort of self-deceptive lie some folks tell themselves to say it’s not compensation for sex. Saying something doesn’t make it that. By your logic, @jeezifonly, extra fine service would be extra time, nothing more, if the service we’re paying for is time. Extra fine service for me can also include providing a clean, welcoming bathroom, some basic hygiene sundries (mouthwash!) and being wrapped in a warm towel after showering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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