SubNick Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 I've got a rather unusual problem. I'd love any advice. My hottest fantasy at this stage of my life involves giving money to a dominant lover. It's similar to "FINDOM" but without the heavy humiliation/insulting quality. I"m not into that - or sending money to strangers - no I want to have a lover and shower him with money, let him have my wallet when. we go away together and he controls the credit cards. Maybe I fall in love with this person and we get married and I share all my money with him, but we still retain the master/slave quality in our bedroom interactions. Ive had some experiences with this in different forms, and its incredibly sexy for me in real life, and luckily I have a lot of money, but it feels incredibly perilous, mostly because it's a powerful draw for sociopaths/predators who are sometimes charming. I'm not worried about my money, im more worried about bringing bad people into my life. Is it possible to imagine finding a person who would enjoy playing with this fantasy, who would also be a good person, honest with me, respects limits, maybe even loves me? (In one version) Or should I just brutally suppress this fantasy, which is taking me down dangerous roads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubNick Posted January 23, 2023 Author Share Posted January 23, 2023 and by the way just to be clear. I am 55, VGL, stable, happy, friendly guy - I have no trouble dating and having relationships which have nothing to do with money... But this fantasy really appeals to me, and the more real it would get, the hotter. I think. But could I find a trustworthy guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 24 minutes ago, SubNick said: could I find a trustworthy guy? No. jeezifonly, thomas, Maxl and 4 others 5 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 Have you ever seen Verdi’s opera La Traviata? You are looking for a Courtesan. (Hint: Stay away if he has a cough.) SubNick, + Charlie, cany10011 and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 @SubNick My love language has always been receiving gifts, so don't give up - your Dom is out there! 😜 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubNick Posted January 23, 2023 Author Share Posted January 23, 2023 14 hours ago, jeezifonly said: Have you ever seen Verdi’s opera La Traviata? You are looking for a Courtesan. (Hint: Stay away if he has a cough.) "Spendours and Miseries of the Courtesans" by Balzac is one of my favorite novels! jeezifonly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubNick Posted January 23, 2023 Author Share Posted January 23, 2023 1 hour ago, heydavida said: @SubNick My love language has always been receiving gifts, so don't give up - your Dom is out there! 😜 I think framing it in terms of "love languages" might be a safer bet than "FIndom" which seems to invite abuse I don't want. Thanks for the thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bargara Leatherboy Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 Sub Nick - I have always found being kept in a certain style very worthwhile, and I have always been worthwhile to be around - if the chemistry is there of course. I went down he sugar daddy route when I was a young adult - I found that the demands were too much (not the sexual ones but the you need to do life my way). As a more mature man - if the chemistry is right I could make it happen for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 Financial domination doesn't have to include physical or verbal domination. And yes, you can find a trustworthy escort who understands this kink and can play along accordingly. Do your homework. Be super clear about expectations and how far you're wanting to take the scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ keroscenefire Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 I think if you wanted to be a little safer with this you can use credit cards with low credit limits or refillable debit cards when you're out with escorts. Only put in the money that you can truly afford/want to spend but then allow them to use it as they see fit. That way you're only losing $5000 or whatever even if they do have access to your card or are kind of scummy and end up ripping you off. I definitely would not give them access to your main debit card or your bank accounts. I think that's trouble even if it's someone you think you can trust. Dr.Daddy and + BenjaminNicholas 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 11 hours ago, keroscenefire said: I think if you wanted to be a little safer with this you can use credit cards with low credit limits or refillable debit cards when you're out with escorts. Only put in the money that you can truly afford/want to spend but then allow them to use it as they see fit. This is sage advice. MikeBiDude and + keroscenefire 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ds35mm Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I did Findom with a guy for some time now. I tell him to go to the mall with me, point to some item...socks, underwear, etc and have him pay for it. Now I've started allowing him to look for jeans or pants and I go to the changing room and send a selfie with those on. DM me for more ideas and details Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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