Contacting Provider for Non-Appointment Question

[nycbystander]

Recently had a terrific session a great provider. Will definitely do a repeat when our schedules mesh, which we talked about toward the end of the session. In addition to the session being great, he struck me as a genuinely nice man both in person and our texting. I went to check his travel schedule and saw that his RM membership has been temporarily frozen. 

Here's the question, is it bad form or seem stalkerish or like I was obsessing to reach out to see if he is okay and whether he needs a hand with anything ? As I mentioned above he impressed me as a genuinely nice man.

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, nycbystander said:

Recently had a terrific session a great provider. Will definitely do a repeat when our schedules mesh, which we talked about toward the end of the session. In addition to the session being great, he struck me as a genuinely nice man both in person and our texting. I went to check his travel schedule and saw that his RM membership has been temporarily frozen. 

Here's the question, is it bad form or seem stalkerish or like I was obsessing to reach out to see if he is okay and whether he needs a hand with anything ? As I mentioned above he impressed me as a genuinely nice man.

Yes.

That's creepy.

First inquire with a simple what's up message

Don't make assumptions that something is wrong and don't act like you're his best friend when you just met. That's totally overstepping boundaries of privacy for anyone and definitely weird when you're talking about a hire.

[+ nycman]

Your intentions may be good but, it sounds stalkerish to me.

There was once an escort whom I had seen many times and felt very close to. I happened to find out that he and his boyfriend had a bad break up. I reached out and offered a friendly shoulder to cry on. It wasn’t well received. I learned my lesson, and now I never attempt to look behind the curtain.

Edited December 3, 2022 by nycman

[maninsoma]

If you want to hire him again and his contact information still works, simply reach out to request an appointment.  He might still be working even though his ad is frozen.  If you get no response or a reply that he isn't available, then just accept that and wait to contact him until you see his ad is active again. You don't have a personal relationship with him yet, so don't overstep the boundary and inquire about his personal life.

I am reminded of my first meeting with someone who became my most regular hire.  We clicked on a personal level and after our first appointment (which was my first overnight with anyone), I sent some cds to a post office box he provided.  He was appreciative.  I started hiring him about once per month, and eventually we became friends, but our "getting to know you" phase evolved naturally.

Edited December 3, 2022 by maninsoma

[+ DrownedBoy]

I had a former regular I did this with, but only to clarify things he said during the last session. Mainly involving sexual enhancers.

[Jamie21]

11 hours ago, nycbystander said:

Recently had a terrific session a great provider. Will definitely do a repeat when our schedules mesh, which we talked about toward the end of the session. In addition to the session being great, he struck me as a genuinely nice man both in person and our texting. I went to check his travel schedule and saw that his RM membership has been temporarily frozen. 

Here's the question, is it bad form or seem stalkerish or like I was obsessing to reach out to see if he is okay and whether he needs a hand with anything ? As I mentioned above he impressed me as a genuinely nice man.

Seems a bit too soon to do that. I’d find it a bit strange. It’s quite likely, if he’s any good, that many of his clients feel like you do after the session. It’s his job to make you feel special. You’re now thinking ‘ok we got on great, I wasn’t just another client!’ ….and he’s probably thinking ‘nice client, what shall I have for dinner…’ I hope not, maybe he thought afterwards that it was something different, in which case that’s great! But chances are that’s unlikely, and I wouldn’t risk finding out. 

Sorry to say but it’s just part of the job. I’ve seen hundreds of clients. I sincerely hope they all felt I was genuinely nice and I guess many have because they come back. However only one has become a friend that I’d welcome that kind of enquiry from (and obviously he’s no longer hiring me, now we meet as friends). I’d be worried if a client made an enquiry like yours after their first booking. It was at least 12 bookings over a year before the guy I’m referring to became a friend rather than a client.

[nycbystander]

Got it. " When in doubt ... don't"

Thanks guys !