Are other markets the same?

[Massageguy99]

So I am in DFW area and find it so irritating when providers never answer text. 

I contacted 10 people today and only 1 answered back 3 hours after I sent a text. 

This was a mix of past hires and new people. 

If you are booked for the day or not open then mark your ad as such. I used to try and plans days in advance but that almost always backfired with providers cancelling due to plan changes so I try to book day of. 

This happenens a lot in my market where people do not respond until 5-6 hours later or sometimes 24 hours later. 

[+ Mrprofessional]

Happens here in NYC too. I’ll send Multiple requests for possible times and no response from several of them until hours later —  if at all. Figured it’s a crap shoot as to whether they’re working and responding or just have “turned off” their work phone to have some down/personal time. Wish they’d just have an auto reply at at least—  saying unavailable. Guess their no reply is the same thing. Just feels discourteous. 

[Torrone]

Unprofessional behavior. Plain and simple. If providers took their business seriously, this would very rarely occur.  But these are strange times, moodiness abounds, we all have to try to go with the flow, but I too wish that responsiveness would be something on offer to clients more regularly.

[Kody S]

Just posted on this same topic a couple of days ago and agree with all of you! 

[Massageguy99]

Funny thing. Just after posting I received 5 text back. Some where traveling and not even in town yet. I also loath that. 

So many times I reach out and they are like oh I am not in town until tomorrow etc. 

Moat of the other people were either a. Out of town, b. Not working, c. Fully booked. 

Ijust wish their was a way I didn't have to waste my time trying to figure out who is available and when. 

I wish more would use some version of a schedule app. 

[Kevin Slater]

I'm struck by the level of entitlement in this thread. 

Yes, it'd be nice if he replied he's not available.  But the indignation when he does not is overboard.  Perhaps he doesn't know when what he's currently doing will wrap up.  Perhaps he's to busy doing it to reply.  Perhaps he simply has a work life balance and you're not entitled to his personal time.  The OP says he contacted ten providers.  So at best, there's a 10% chance anything will come of the message each one received.  And yet we wonder why the provider doesn't drop everything to reply to each one.

Kevin Slater

[Jamie21]

2 hours ago, Kevin Slater said:

I'm struck by the level of entitlement in this thread. 

Yes, it'd be nice if he replied he's not available.  But the indignation when he does not is overboard.  Perhaps he doesn't know when what he's currently doing will wrap up.  Perhaps he's to busy doing it to reply.  Perhaps he simply has a work life balance and you're not entitled to his personal time.  The OP says he contacted ten providers.  So at best, there's a 10% chance anything will come of the message each one received.  And yet we wonder why the provider doesn't drop everything to reply to each one.

Kevin Slater

Agree, I’m not doing work 24/7….I’ll respond asap and never leave a message unanswered but sometimes I’m just busy doing stuff. 

[LaCapGuy87]

So here’s what I’m learning. Yesterday, I’m in LA for context, I reached out to four providers. All responded pretty promptly. Even if our schedules didn’t work, I responded with gratitude so we could stay in touch. I’ve spoken with a provider or two, ones that I have a long history with. They have their own vetting process. Like we do, we have this forum, apparently they have means and resources too. The two i know have shared sometimes they do some research. If there’s bad comments, low tips, aggressive behavior, not so good hygiene, etc. they tend to avoid and not respond (idk what they use, didn’t bother to ask, but thought it was interesting). I think that’s a luxury they have in a huge market like LA. Not sure if this is something that’s practiced from city to city, but it helped me understand how some move, why someone may or may not respond. 

Overall, it’s a business, so you’d think people would care about their clientele or potential clients, but I guess there’s the human factor we must always factor in. I rely on the energy and wording in a text. If they don’t respond or aren’t warm and engaging, it’s a sign that I likely dodged a bullet. Only once have I “chased” down and provider due to the great comments up here. He was apologetic when we finally crossed paths and it was worth it. The exception, I fear. 

[+ ButchAtl]

And yet, so many providers have in their ads that they only wish to be contacted by text.   

[TennisPro35]

I’m leaning/agreeing more to what KevinSlater and Jamie21 (two providers who are active in this forum) has responded with.  I am a client - in LA, for context. I would, once or twice, send out multiple texts when the need/want arises. Hopefully one or two replies back.  If I don’t get any replies, oh well.  The ones that reply back late does apologize for the tardiness.  We all have busy busy lives and if I get jilted by a masseur on not replying back - i’ll be irritated just a tad but just place him in the “try again in about 3-6 months”.  But if this behaviour persists … then he just lost my business.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Because escorts and massuers don't have an answering and scheduling service, I do not expect an answer until about 4 hours after my initial message.  They could be with a client, at the gym, eating a meal, taking a nap, working their day job, or watching a matinee Broadway show.

To @Kevin Slater's point, I never contact more than one provider at a time, because it would be rude on my part if they both respond back that they're available, but now I need to cancel on one of them and have wasted their time.

So, I try to make initial contact 2 days in advance to schedule.  I state the day, timeframe, and location I'm looking for, then wait.  If they haven't replied in 4 hours, I reply with "Since I haven't heard from you, you must be busy.  I'm going to try another provider, but let me know if your availability changes".  Then I repeat with someone else.

With this method, I usually find someone within 1-4 tries.  Maybe 1 out of 4 will not respond.  Another 1 out of 4 responds within minutes.  And the other 2 out of 4 respond within 1-3 hours.  Usually my first, second, or third try succeeds in scheduling a meeting.  Sometimes people are just busy for the time I want.

IF I'm super horny and want right NOW, then I stick with contacting one of my regulars a few hours in advance, and they respond probably a little more quickly than if I was a new client.

[relax man]

3 minutes ago, Vegas_nw1982 said:

So, I try to make initial contact 2 days in advance to schedule.  I state the day, timeframe, and location I'm looking for, then wait.  If they haven't replied in 4 hours, I reply with "Since I haven't heard from you, you must be busy.  I'm going to try another provider, but let me know if your availability changes".  Then I repeat with someone else.

The "Since I haven't heard from you..." message seems unnecessary and a bit passive-aggressive.  If I were a provider, I think I would find it off-putting.

If the provider doesn't ever respond, I take them off or move them down my list.  If they respond and I'm still free, great, let's do it.  If they respond more than 4 hours later (to use your example) and now I'm booked with someone else, I politely respond that I've made another plan and will reach out again another time, and they will likely understand that they may have missed a booking due to the time it took them to respond.

It's easy to assume the worst when you don't hear anything, and there are certainly flakes out there, but providers generally don't have receptionists, and they are balancing their business with their private lives.  I know it can sometimes feel like it, but it's almost never personal.

[+ keroscenefire]

I've definitely started to book more in advance.  Like if I want to meet on the upcoming weekend I'll start texting a few days early and hopefully get something pretty solid. 

It definitely can be annoying when the provider cancels last minute though and you're sort-of left in the lurch. The this texting thing can certainly become a bit frustrating.

[Massageguy99]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Agree, I’m not doing work 24/7….I’ll respond asap and never leave a message unanswered but sometimes I’m just busy doing stuff. 

This may not apply to you because maybe you don't travel but I often filter RM by available now. RM has an option to be listed as available now although I am not sure what that looks like on the providers side. 

Anyway 3 of the providers I messaged showed available now, online, and as in town today with no other travel dates so I was not sure if they were new or traveling. 

All 3 of those after contacting turns out we're traveling and would not even be in my city for another 24-48 hours. Why advertise as if you are available if you are not available. 

I just move them to my list of traveling people who I know in future if I see them in market again I probably will not book. I traveled for 3 years and hired providers and never faced what I see in this market. 

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, Massageguy99 said:

This may not apply to you because maybe you don't travel but I often filter RM by available now. RM has an option to be listed as available now although I am not sure what that looks like on the providers side. 

Anyway 3 of the providers I messaged showed available now, online, and as in town today with no other travel dates so I was not sure if they were new or traveling. 

All 3 of those after contacting turns out we're traveling and would not even be in my city for another 24-48 hours. Why advertise as if you are available if you are not available. 

I just move them to my list of traveling people who I know in future if I see them in market again I probably will not book. I traveled for 3 years and hired providers and never faced what I see in this market. 

Yeah I don’t travel. There’s enough clients in my city. Plus the logistics of travel is too challenging. I think the pandemic has shaken up the market, lots of people left, others have joined, many clients stopped hiring and got out of the habit. Things will settle down again to a new equilibrium. 

[massagefan320]

When I see "available now" and I don't get a response, I don't get upset, but I think it is in poor form.  There is no obligation the person gets back to me.  I wish the sites had an "available today" message in addition to "available now".  (People also don't turn it off when they are not available anymore).  I literally think "available now" means, available in the next two hours, but that is not how many people view that message.  I get upset when I book an appointment, am waiting outside the person's apartment, then they cancel, like what happened to me yesterday.  I also don't like to schedule too far in advance because of the number of cancellations I have experienced for various reasons, which all amount to, someone or something better came along...One masseur in NY does use a Square calendar that lets you schedule appointments.  He still has to approve the appointment, but at least I know when he is not available for sure. 

[tennisjock]

I tend to schedule about 24-36 hrs in advance and then reconfirm with the provider the morning of. I always have a list of potential hires if I get ghosted the morning of or something happens and no planned meeting.. luckily LA has a huge pool to draw from but I treat it like a business and move on to the next on the list.

I have had some guys sleep Thru our planned appt and i hear from them hours and hours later.  I just put them on a potential list for next time and add to that ever changing list for 

[+ db66]

2 hours ago, massagefan320 said:

When I see "available now" and I don't get a response, I don't get upset, but I think it is in poor form.  There is no obligation the person gets back to me.  I wish the sites had an "available today" message in addition to "available now".  (People also don't turn it off when they are not available anymore).  I literally think "available now" means, available in the next two hours, but that is not how many people view that message. 

I take "available now" to mean "available now to exchange text messages", not necessarily "available now to give a massage". If I message a provider who is "available now" and he doesn't respond I won't hold it against him the first time. I assume most of the masseurs on the sites get lots of messages, and who among us hasn't missed or overlooked a text from time to time? But that said, even the tersest response of "sorry, I'm booked up/out of town/unavailable/indisposed" is better than radio silence.

[Bluefin]

SF based masseurs in my experience are professional and reliable. The only times I’ve been ghosted or played the waiting game were with traveling masseurs. 

[Vulgarii]

I only don't respond if I see that the prospective client is of a certain age and/or of a certain ethnicity that from experience is going to be very difficult and cringey and aggressive, and if I find their facebooks/Instagram and don't like what they post. 

 

So perhaps the others do the same since we have to investigate our clients for our own safety, and comfort level.

[dutchal]

My experience has been all over the lot, from an answer within minutes to a response days later.  I never fault a guy for not responding for at least a few hours, when you factor in other clients on the table (you don't want him texting while working on you, right?), going to they gym (you do want him to look good, right?), other jobs, and such.  I often can't schedule very far in advance, but that's on me, not them if they can't respond quickly that day.  I know I'm taking my chances.

[dutchal]

7 hours ago, Vulgarii said:

I only don't respond if I see that the prospective client is of a certain age and/or of a certain ethnicity that from experience is going to be very difficult and cringey and aggressive,

 

Could you further enlighten us as to what ages and ethnicities are most problematic?

[Marc in Calif]

57 minutes ago, dutchal said:

Could you further enlighten us as to what ages and ethnicities are most problematic?

Don't you realize that "those people" are all exactly the same in their behaviors and attitudes? 😆

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. 

[Vulgarii]

18 hours ago, dutchal said:

Could you further enlighten us as to what ages and ethnicities are most problematic?

 

In my experience every single Indian and Persian was rapey to the point where I could have filed a legit police report.

I guess in their cultures, a masseur is a whore and isn't allowed to say no. 

 

With Asians it's hit or miss, usually the ones born in the USA aren't as aggressive as the older guys who were born elsewhere. 

As for ages, men under 25 are flakey and men over 60 are problematic because they're often really aggressive too, manipulative, and/or really depressing to be around because they're really sad and lonely.

Edited September 21, 2022 by Vulgarii