Saying "No" to a prospective client

[Orson Kane]

I know a couple of escorts fairly well, and they have told me there are prospective clients that they choose not to meet (even though the escort's schedule could accomodate the client). This choice can come when they read an email expressing interest that turns the escort off -- say the wantt to bareback when the escort isn't into it. It can also come when the escort meets the client and says that "this just isn't going to work" for whatever reason (one escort I knows whn guy seems to be on any drug).

 

I was wondering if you escorts could tell us how common it is for you to turn down a potential client, either one who has emailed you or one you have actually met. What turns you off and what if anything do you tell potential clients? Also, particularly if you have actually met them, how do they take it?

 

Potential escort clients -- have you been tuned down or turned away by any escorts?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

RE: Saying

 

Great choice for a topic! Here are my thoughts:

 

 

As much as i look at escorting as a business, i also try to see it as a way to truly connect with someone else. I am by no means looking for a LTR through escorting, as i already have one, but the simple act of spending time with someone whether it be sexual or otherwise is, in my eyes, fascinating... Meeting with a new or regular client is really exciting for me, as it gives me a chance to 'pick their brain' just a little more.

 

Maybe i should have been a psych major, eh?

 

I have, however, turned down several potential clients for many different reasons. Many times it's because an initial email comes across as empty or just poorly written~ sometimes consisting of just a sentance. Honestly, i appreciate when a client takes the time to give a little insight on what he enjoys, who he is and where his interests lie. IMO, if a fella emails me and just writes 'cock shot?' and 'rates,' there's a 99.9% chance that we won't ever meet.

 

A tad picky? Of course. But it allows me to truly enjoy my clients and relish in the fact that some sort of working relationship can be formed. I hate having to keep up some sort of 'act' with someone i'm spending a weekend with~ It gives me a bitter aftertaste that Method Acting always did

 

 

 

 

Warmest Regards as Always,

 

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[email protected]

http://www.ChiKindaKid.com

[SmallTownJohn]

Hello,

 

For me, it all starts with a good email:0) If someone genuinely wants the who, what, when & states information I can use as a guide. It's great for me. Sifting over my email today, I've seen "Where are you? I need you!" & "I want to see what's under that underware!" LOL plus an erotic story that goes nowhere and one AOLer asking me, "A/S/L?" Eventually I make it to the serious session requests.

 

Recently, requests are moving toward elaborate overnight or weekend schemes for me to go anywhere from Vancover to Vermont. But with some detective work, it becomes apparent that these guy are trying to engage in phone sex using my pix as a prop.

 

When I'm discussing a meeting or if a meeting is taking place, should the client become TOO "I'm Fabulous"(Look at my job, money, car & intelligence)--I have no problem walking out the door excusing myself saying I don't think I'm what you are looking for. I'm not in this to spend my time with condescending types. Won't tolerate it for a second! If you hate everything or everybody doesn't do it your way-- THE RIGHT WAY. PLEASE don't contact me! lol

 

Most of my clients are regular repeats & curious married businessmen trying to have some fun on the side without some queen hunting down his wife in revenge. My favorites are the calm, clean, mature guys who maybe don't require a Depakote/Paxil combo to make it through the day.

 

 

Swimming pools...movie stars:0)

 

John

http://www.SmallTownJohn1.com

[Guest Hole_4_Hire]

RE: Saying

 

A couple years ago I went into semi-retirement. I now only see existing clients.

 

Even though I no longer advertise, I periodically get calls and e-mails from prospective new clients. (I can only assume they have either come across an old ad or one of my current clients has referred them.)

 

I inform them that I'm no longer taking new clients and ask them to describe what they are looking for. Based on that information I usually refer them to another escort in my area that will take new clients. I try, whenever possible, to make an informed recommendation since some of my "competitors" are not always a good match. (For example, I usually refer "first timers" to a more experienced escort who is patient with the inexperienced or "bi-curious" client. A couple of other escorts are much better for the younger guys who prefer one of their peers and not someone old enough to be their father.)

 

Most of these guys really appreciate the extra time I spend talking with them to make sure I make a good recommendation. I've had a couple of guys (closet cases) who I'm sure didn't make another call because of my rejection. But, I did my best to suggest a good, trust-worthy alternative. ;-)

[+ deej]

RE: Saying

 

One of the oldest sayings in customer service is "the customer is always right".

 

IT'S WRONG!

 

One of the strongest skills one can have in any customer service profession is the ability to say NO. If you lack the ability to say NO, you lack the ability to help your customer have the best possible experience. Saying YES when you really don't mean it is almost a guarantee for failure. Even worse, not being able to say NO opens you up to abuse.

 

Not a good recipe.

 

If you're a client, you must respect an escort's right to say NO.

[Chuck50]

RE: Saying

 

A former First Lady of great fame had a wonderful saying "JUST SAY NO"

Know who she is??? Hugs Chuck

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Yes, No, Maybe

 

A client who had seen me before showed up in building once when the pool man had left the security door open. I was cleaning my kitchen. I politely asked him to contact me for an appointment instead of showing up. He did, we met, and everything was fine.

 

Another client showed up from an advanced booking in a condition due to a recreational substance which made me concern as to how he had driven or otherwise gotten to my home in the first place. I arranged for a cab to take him to his hotel room and asked him to call me again when he was able to. He never did, possibly due to discomfort over the circumstances.

 

Because I tend to find a percentage of my clients on line, I have innured myself to a certain behavior which can border on rudeness. It is rare. The email communications I receive tend to be civil and polite. Beyond these two situations, I cannot think of any other where an actual appointment was set or the circumstances were such that I had to turn away business. There are times when I am not available (a prior engagement, etc.) but I do not believe this question addressed itself to that.

 

Again, as with everything else in a good escort client relationship, this is another instance where good communication make the experience memorable for the client and a lack thereof makes it less than satisfactory at best.

 

UPDATED 10/18/2002 - http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[+ Lucky]

RE: Saying

 

"If you're a client, you must respect an escort's right to say NO."

 

Good advice, deej. My fear is that some clients will take the NO without respect, and then write a negative review of the guy. Some times escort situations just don't work out and if either person can tell that upon meeting each other, then it is best to just cancel it.

[LovesYng]

Yes, No, Maybe (client's point)

 

Now what about on a clients end.

I have in the past ask a escort to leave or say this ain't going to work out after chatting for a little after he arrives at my hotel. I get this gut feeling as we are talking that it's going to go down hill when we start. 98% of the escorts I have done this to do understand and leave with no hard feelings, I still pay the escort. If he stayed for a hour of talking I paid him for the hour. 2% of the escorts sometimes go off the wall when I tell them it ain't going to work and they want the full amount that they were suppose to stay for (Get A Life). Most of the time I book then for two to three hours at a time. I do tell them in E mail or on the phone from the start if I don't seem to hit it off with you after you arrive I may ask you to leave and so far 98% understand where I'm coming from, 2% are assholes...:+

[NASAguy]

I have been rejected once by a rather established and somewhat well known escort. We had been seeing each other for over a year with about a visit every 2 months for several days at a time ($1600 to $2500 per visit). In his ads he claims that he "values honesty and truth" above all. I confess that I had become too enamoured of the guy and when I complained to him that he had "short changed" me so to speak during our last visit, he exploded with anger, calling me a number of names and saying I was unworthy of his time. Bottomline, it hurt but I learned that he was only out for the money and I will never allow myself to become so involved in an escort situation again.

[LovesYng]

>I have been rejected once by a rather established and

>somewhat well known escort. We had been seeing each other

>for over a year with about a visit every 2 months for

>several days at a time ($1600 to $2500 per visit). In his

>ads he claims that he "values honesty and truth" above all.

>I confess that I had become too enamoured of the guy and

>when I complained to him that he had "short changed" me so

>to speak during our last visit, he exploded with anger,

>calling me a number of names and saying I was unworthy of

>his time. Bottomline, it hurt but I learned that he was

>only out for the money and I will never allow myself to

>become so involved in an escort situation again.

 

Hey NASAguy,

 

I hear you 100%, been there done that. But never again, it hurt to much and it really open my eyes to a lot of things. In the long run I'm glad it did happen. Now I'm a little wiser now.

[VaHawk]

I would be interested in what transpired to make you feel that you were short changed, and what warning signals to look for so as to avoid a similar situation. Did he in any way lead you to believe that a ltr might be possible? I can only imagine that after several visits with a charming young man it would be easy to let one's guard down and forget that it is foremost a business arrangement. If he did not in anyway indicate the possibility of an ltr, then you were unfortunately self deluded by your emotions. Perhaps it was just time for both of you to move on and it is sad that it ended in such a negative way as obviously there was some mutual connection other than physical or you both would not have gotten together as many times as you did. Wish you the best in all your future dealings.

[NASAguy]

To clarify the situation as to what provoked our final "conflict":

During all of our previous visits, my friend (as I viewed him to be) always made sure that in addition to enjoying each other's company in a variety of non-sexual ways, we ended our visit with a hot and extended sexual encounter. To accomplish this, he always stayed passed the agreed-to end time of our visit if necessary, sometimes as much as 3-5 hours (remember we were together for 2 days). The payment which I gave him was always the lumpsum that he had requested.

In our last meeting, sex on our first night (in addition to extended cuddling) was limited to about 30 minutes due to the fact that he was complaining of stomach cramps. We had "booked" the one night, the whole next day and evening to roughly midnight. I allowed him to sleep without waking him until 4:30 the next afternoon because I knew he was tired (I also believed it didn't matter because he would give me a good time that night as he always had done). We supped and came back to the hotel around 8:00 PM. He put the TV on to watch the news and we cuddled. At 11:00 I was about to instigate some more active play when he announced it was time for him to leave. I paid him his $1600 but emailed him the next day saying that I felt cheated in that he didn't stay longer. (Sure, I know I am paying for his time but I expected that time to include more than just some cuddling and only 30 minutes of sex...that's not much of a return for $1600).

That's when he exploded, accusing me of trying to extort extra time without reimbursing him for it.

I understand that I read too much into our relationship, thinking that he had some real concern about my feelings and desires. Rather, I think he was just concerned about the money.

[Guest Dan]

>I know a couple of escorts fairly well, and they have told

>me there are prospective clients that they choose not to

>meet (even though the escort's schedule could accomodate the

>client). This choice can come when they read an email

>expressing interest that turns the escort off -- say the

>wantt to bareback when the escort isn't into it.

 

I think for most of us, barebacking is never an option! Has nothing to do with $$$ - has everything to do with survival!

 

 

Dan Dare

http://gaydar.co.uk/dandarela

[+ deej]

RE: Saying

 

>Good advice, deej. My fear is that some clients will take

>the NO without respect, and then write a negative review of

>the guy.

 

We see that here all the time, unfortunately. <sigh>

 

> Some times escort situations just don't work out

>and if either person can tell that upon meeting each other,

>then it is best to just cancel it.

 

An important skill for an escort as well is the ability to say no gracefully.

 

When sexual contact is involved, NO is almost as important as YES. On both sides. Otherwise you're in a potential abuse scenario.

 

Franco said it best elsewhere: COMMUNICATION is the key.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Saying

 

>A couple years ago I went into semi-retirement.

>I now only see existing clients.

 

As opposed to nonexistent clients??

[+ Charlie]

I have been turned down by escorts who claimed they were unavailable because of illness, travel plans, other appointments, etc., and I assume these were genuine reasons, though of course one can never be completely certain. The only time I was definitely rejected was a number of years ago, when I made an appointment to see someone for the first time, arrived at his apartment, and he refused to open the door. I could hear him on the other side, and I don't know whether he didn't like what he saw through the peephole. I went back home and phoned several times later that evening, but he wouldn't answer the phone either.

 

I have had much more trouble trying to reject escorts. The worst was a hunk who threatened to beat the shit out of me if I didn't have sex with him. (It turned out to be good sex, by the way.)

[Bilbo]

Ordinarily, I would be on your side in this matter, NASA. In fact, I really do think that knowing that he was having physical problems, he should have taken the chance on upsetting you and called and cancelled at the last minute. However, I find myself having trouble agreeing with you too much when you say that this young man had often given you 5 or 6 free extra hours in the past. And you couldn't let this balance out against what had happened that time? If he had done that some four times before, that would have equaled the amount of time he spent with you unproductively that weekend. (Figuring that 18 divided by 5 = 3.6).

[Bilbo]

RE: Clients saying no

 

I much prefer a client who actually says no when it is obvious on the phone that I am not his man. When you say you need to check your schedule and maybe call me back in 15 minutes - well, for one thing, it's a lie, and for various reasons I hate to be lied to. And for another, if I take the chance on it not being a lie, it ties me up for a quarter hour or more, keeping me from doing whatever I had meant to do in my private life sometimes, or at least postponing it.

[Donnie]

RE: Clients saying no

 

>I much prefer a client who actually says no

 

One would assume it happens often. :+

[Bilbo]

RE: Clients saying no

 

Well, of course it does, Donnie. Don't be silly. And don't think that it means very much. Only that someone didn't know what common gay community terms in my honest advertising mean so I had to clue them when they called. What is a Daddy? What is a Bear? Aren't they all Muscle Bears? What is the difference between body work and a massage? (Around here, Texas, that last one often means an unlicensed masseur who, therefore, can't use the word "massage" or else an erotic masseur who doesn't feel like hassling the state law and eventually losing their license anyway.)

 

I am, of course, tempted to be a bit hurt, as you want me to be, by your normal narrowminded insistence that your personal taste is the same as everyone else's. However, having had two clients a day for the last two days, I just don't have the energy to truely take it to heart, darling. But it is nice to know that you still care. }>

 

BTW, am I wrong is assuming that anyone who is offering a service of any kind for which they ask a fairly high fee probably hears more no's than yeses?