How often (if ever) have you succeded connecting with anyone in a non-gay environment?

[+ SundayZip]

20 hours ago, Charlie said:

Some of my longtime platonic friends have been guys that I had sex with once when we first met, and never again. What started as sexual attraction quickly morphed simply into pleasure in one another's company.

This reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a straight friend after his divorce. He was bemoaning the fact that it had always been his wife starting new friendships for the couple and, now that he was single, he found it difficult for a guy to make new friends on his own. We talked about some of my friendships that had started out as sexual hookups and he joked that he should start hooking up with guys as a way to get new friends. 
 

[MiamiLooker]

On 5/24/2022 at 9:48 AM, Luv2play said:

No, Frenchmen's Cove in Martinique.

Is that the same as Club Med Buccaneer's Creek? The GO's called it Little Brooklyn because so many New Yorkers went there. I went there once in the 1980's and twice to La Caravelle in Guadeloupe. So many hot GO's...

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, MiamiLooker said:

Is that the same as Club Med Buccaneer's Creek? The GO's called it Little Brooklyn because so many New Yorkers went there. I went there once in the 1980's and twice to La Caravelle in Guadeloupe. So many hot GO's...

My memory was faulty. It was Buccaneer's Creek. What I noticed was how many French Canadians there were, because of the native language in Martinique being French. The GO's were very friendly. I learned to scuba dive there.

Edited May 29, 2022 by Luv2play

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 5/24/2022 at 7:50 AM, SundayZip said:

@Jarrod_Uncut, When I read the title of this thread, I interpreted "connecting" as being a non-sexual connection that continued beyond the initial meeting. Then, reading through your post, it seems that you're referring to a sexual connection (ie, a hookup).  I'd count myself as one of those men that would "ghost" you after learning that you're actually looking for a hookup or something longer involving sex.  I value platonic friendships that can start with a personal, non-sexual connection and have been disappointed when I learn that a potential friend really wants something else. 
 

 

Well, I didn’t necessarily specify that it was “sex” I was looking for. I think you might have confused what I was saying (and I think society as a whole misinterprets and presumes that gay man looking for another man = wanting to have sex with said man). 
 

Let’s not fall into that stereotypical trap. When I said connection, I wasn’t exactly referring to a straight guy for playing basketball ball with. I meant: another guy, in public, and he’s gay (or “gay friendly whatever”), and there’s an exchange of contact and it actually leads to SOMETHING. Not necessarily sex. Or a even a relationship. But something. Like, a gay bar buddy. Or someone to chit chat with, and one that is NOT in a gay space.

I’m talking about: going to a grocery store, to the gym, or the park, or just walking about regularly. How many times has the above happened? In my case: In 15 years of being gay and of age: it’s probably only happened a handful of times. Most were when I was living in Florida in my late teens/early twenties (circa 2006-2009). 
 

Nowadays, it seems to never happen. I’ll talk to a guy or they’ll talk to me, and then we part ways after a couple of minutes. Or, in rare cases I’ve exchanged numbers/social media and they weren’t gay or ghosted once they realized I was. Not that I was looking for sex, but more so, I was “clocking” them and wanted to just “see what would happen”. Nothing creepy or obvious, but just leaving the door open.

 

I feel hookup apps are the closest thing to random public interactions, but it’s too much of the same goal: meaningless one time sex, and usually on their terms.

I’ve even tried to not meet guys for sex on hookup apps, just meet in person doing regular date stuff: that don’t always work either. They either come to table wanting to fuck right away, or lose interest after the very 1st time after meeting in a normal environment.

I had that happen the other night: guy was all into me on the hookup app, and I steered the convo away from sex, not even exchanging pics. We meet at a bar in St. Louis, all seems well: then we part ways and he just quit returning my text or message on the app. Just completely ghosted 😒 

I wonder if he would have done the same, if we would had ended up hooking up 🤷🏾‍♂️ 
 

On 5/24/2022 at 10:41 AM, Charlie said:

Some of my longtime platonic friends have been guys that I had sex with once when we first met, and never again. What started as sexual attraction quickly morphed simply into pleasure in one another's company.

This is true. Many friendships in the “culture” start with sex and become friends. However, that can be tricky to navigate if done too soon.

I hate when some guys come with all the right game, great sex, and potential. And then want to pull the friend card. If that happens, both parties have to be in agreement that it’s not sexually compatible. Not just one doing whatever while the other end up being the perpetual cock block for the other friend. 

On 5/25/2022 at 7:07 AM, SundayZip said:

This reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a straight friend after his divorce. He was bemoaning the fact that it had always been his wife starting new friendships for the couple and, now that he was single, he found it difficult for a guy to make new friends on his own. We talked about some of my friendships that had started out as sexual hookups and he joked that he should start hooking up with guys as a way to get new friends. 
 

I can believe this:

Anytime I’m in the vicinity of a married couple, it’s always the woman striking up conversation first. The man is usually dead silent lol.

I’m like, what is up with that? I’m just glad that the guys are usually the ones who hit me up when booking a session lol.

Edited June 1, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut