Offensive Comments

[BtmBearDad]

On 2/13/2022 at 3:33 PM, italianboyph said:

I’ve had “clients” straight up message me and tell me to shave everything and to hit the gym harder to get a six pack, that way I’ll get hired more often. I had another guy today messaging me to tell me to shave my beard cause men shouldn’t have those germ traps on their face. 😂😂

That would be a big fat no to all of that from me - most especially shaving that body of yours! 😜

[BtmBearDad]

To build a bit off of the “you should shave that body” comment directed at @italianboyph, as someone who prefers a naturally hairy body, from a provider perspective, is there a polite or accepted way to ask -of those who go back and forth shaved to hairy- what they are at present? I asked one provider many moons ago, in what I thought was a polite way, I.E., “may I ask if you’re currently hairy or are you are shaved?” He took great offense - replied with something along the lines of “if that’s all you’re looking for there are plenty of guys who are hairy” and some more commentary about him being more than a hairy body. To be fair, hairy or smooth is not a deal breaker, it’s merely a preference, and given his pics showed a mix of hairy and smooth, I wanted to know what to expect. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[italianboyph]

5 hours ago, BtmBearDad said:

To build a bit off of the “you should shave that body” comment directed at @italianboyph, as someone who prefers a naturally hairy body, from a provider perspective, is there a polite or accepted way to ask -of those who go back and forth shaved to hairy- what they are at present? I asked one provider many moons ago, in what I thought was a polite way, I.E., “may I ask if you’re currently hairy or are you are shaved?” He took great offense - replied with something along the lines of “if that’s all you’re looking for there are plenty of guys who are hairy” and some more commentary about him being more than a hairy body. To be fair, hairy or smooth is not a deal breaker, it’s merely a preference, and given his pics showed a mix of hairy and smooth, I wanted to know what to expect. 🤷🏼‍♂️

I don't think it's offensive to ask if they're shaved or natural, especially if they're presenting themselves in different ways. If someone is hairy in their pics and they show up completely smooth/shaved, when you're expecting them to be hairy, you'd be disappointed. 

[BtmBearDad]

5 hours ago, italianboyph said:

I don't think it's offensive to ask if they're shaved or natural, especially if they're presenting themselves in different ways. If someone is hairy in their pics and they show up completely smooth/shaved, when you're expecting them to be hairy, you'd be disappointed. 

That’s my thinking too - but apparently it wasn’t how one provider at least saw it 🤷🏼‍♂️ 

[Vulgarii]

It's offensive when prospective clients ask me if I'll be erotic with them and if I offer a discount.

It offends me when clients mention their regular masseur is on vacation. That's not info that I need to know. On one hand that could be my opportunity to steal the client but only clients that I never would want to see again ever say that.

It's offensive when clients comment on why I don't have a Spanish surname because they think I'm Latino and forget that this country is a melting pot.

It's offensive when clients ask me why I don't speak Spanish. I don't have to speak it and it's no one's business why.

It offends me when clients mention they were m0lested as k!ds and it's some pity party like I'm their shrink. 

It's offensive when clients will come in and rave about socialism and universal basic income because of some crap they heard on the way over on NPR. I was named after a relative that was killed in a communist country and usually Americans of my particular demographic do not enjoy hearing about socialism.

It offends me when clients will talk about politics and say something assuming I'm also a liberal democrat. 

It offends me when clients talk about cheating on their wives, but I get a kick out of hearing the different reasons they use to justify it. 

It offends me when clients talk about getting a cheaper massage elsewhere like an Asian spa or an $8 massage in Thailand. I like to respond with a very very crude joke when I hear that. 

Part of the job is to just listen and let the client vent, and pretend to be interested. At this point I just don't care so I respond back based on how I feel.

 

 

Edited March 29, 2023 by Vulgarii
Typos

[DWnyc]

One of the first providers I ever saw spent a lot of time telling me about a domestic abuse situation with his partner, and about financial troubles since he lost his day job.

Being inexperienced in the hobby, I went into “close friend” mode, which seemed natural given we were lying together naked, and gave him some uncalled for advice on both issues.

He leapt up and said I had crossed a line, I was so “offensive” to make assumptions about what was right for hmm,  and asked me to leave.

I was a little shocked, and a little sad (again in “friend” mode) but when I look back and based on what I now know and have experienced in the provider/client dynamic I understand boundaries better, though I also wonder how much of what he told me was even real. 

I did send him an apology shortly after which he graciously acknowledged. I also offered to book another session with no mention of these subjects but he didn’t reply to that. 

[Becket]

You handled that situation about as best as could be handled.