How do I get what I’m asking for?

[cokimstr61]

Hey gents. I’ve been hiring escorts and masseurs on and off for almost 20 years now. 

I’ve had a rough last 7 years after an accident and subsequently a break up with a long time partner. 

Now 5 surgeries later on my neck and shoulder and one pending on a torn hip muscle and lots of depression. I get regular medical massages and PT 

I’m a 50 year old bear. 6’ 235. Well groomed and clean with what I’m told is a decent sized tool. Because of the medical issues and some trust issues I choose not to date or hook up right now. It’s easier for me to hire for intimacy. 

When looking to hire all I’m looking for is a couple of hours of ME time. A sensual/erotic massage naked with mutual touch…2 hours of relaxation and pleasure. It doesn’t need to be a true therapeutic massage just intimacy. I am not very fond of most anal activities and it’s sometimes a real turn off to me. I enjoy just being touched everywhere and maybe some oral. I don’t think that’s very much to ask.

Every time I contact to hire I explain my situation and tell them exactly what I’m looking for.  My issue is that out of about 20 different guys I’ve hired over the past year only 2 have given me what I ask for. The rest have either come up short and most of them end up sitting on my cock so they can get fucked when I explicitly said that’s not one of the activities I was looking to do. 

I know a lot of you might think that I’m getting more than I ask for but it’s not what I want and once I’m inside him it’s difficult for me to say “hey. What are you doing. Get off” so I usually finish. 

So my question i is. How do I get a provider to give me what I’m looking for and not what they want? 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

If you can't succinctly explain in email what you want, it might be best to be more verbal in the moment if things are going the wrong way.

Escorts, even very experienced ones, aren't always mind-readers.  We won't be offended if you have to guide us a bit.  Actually, I find it fantastic when a guy is comfortable enough to have an open, honest dialogue in the bedroom.

It's not that the escort is trying to get what he wants:  He just isn't getting the direction he needs from you.  Change that.

[BuffaloKyle]

You said you've hired around 20 guys and only 2 have delivered what you want. Maybe stick with those 2 then if you enjoyed them. That way you don't even have to explain to someone new all you're looking for and hoping it works out.

[Shawn Monroe]

It may also be a good idea to search for who you’re looking for in here to see if he’s been reviewed, since many of us have. You can search by RM URL, or search the 5 digits in their masseurfinder profile (mine is 24130) to see if they’ve been reviewed here. 

[italianboyph]

On 11/30/2021 at 7:59 AM, cokimstr61 said:

Hey gents. I’ve been hiring escorts and masseurs on and off for almost 20 years now. 

I’ve had a rough last 7 years after an accident and subsequently a break up with a long time partner. 

Now 5 surgeries later on my neck and shoulder and one pending on a torn hip muscle and lots of depression. I get regular medical massages and PT 

I’m a 50 year old bear. 6’ 235. Well groomed and clean with what I’m told is a decent sized tool. Because of the medical issues and some trust issues I choose not to date or hook up right now. It’s easier for me to hire for intimacy. 

When looking to hire all I’m looking for is a couple of hours of ME time. A sensual/erotic massage naked with mutual touch…2 hours of relaxation and pleasure. It doesn’t need to be a true therapeutic massage just intimacy. I am not very fond of most anal activities and it’s sometimes a real turn off to me. I enjoy just being touched everywhere and maybe some oral. I don’t think that’s very much to ask.

Every time I contact to hire I explain my situation and tell them exactly what I’m looking for.  My issue is that out of about 20 different guys I’ve hired over the past year only 2 have given me what I ask for. The rest have either come up short and most of them end up sitting on my cock so they can get fucked when I explicitly said that’s not one of the activities I was looking to do. 

I know a lot of you might think that I’m getting more than I ask for but it’s not what I want and once I’m inside him it’s difficult for me to say “hey. What are you doing. Get off” so I usually finish. 

So my question i is. How do I get a provider to give me what I’m looking for and not what they want? 

I think you should make sure they know that you don’t want any form of penetration. Also make sure the provider understands exactly what you want before you meet up. 🥰

[jeezifonly]

If you describe the reasons for dissatisfaction here, you can also articulate them to the provider before hiring, and again during your meeting can’t you?
Age and stress changes what we want over time, and you’ll probably find the guy for the job with some thoughtful communication with him. Look for a guy who states he loves older guys, and look past race,  dick size and appearance. In your 20+ yrs has your type changed? Maybe not. The more types you are open to, the greater the odds you’ll find a more sensitive provider.

[Jamie21]

Be really clear what you’re looking for. I’m surprised they ride your cock without asking or agreeing to that beforehand. It’s unacceptable. If a client says to me “no anal” then that’s great, I know not to go there.

I think the challenge is sometimes clients will say things before the session that they then change their mind on during the session. It’s because of anxiety or embarrassment asking for something at the start or just out of getting so horny during the session that they get more adventurous. So I always check as we go by whispering in his ear “are you ok”, or before we start I’ll say that periodically I’ll squeeze his hand and he should squeeze back if all ok. I can then keep it at the level he likes. If it looks like he wants to fuck or get fucked then I’ll test by putting my cock near his hole, it’s up to him then to push himself on. He’s in control about whether it goes in. 

I think you should ask your providers to communicate during the session so that you can keep things from escalating to places you don’t want to go. It doesn’t have to be spoken; just make the physical signs clear to him. Oh and choose providers who are professional, they’re focused on your pleasure above all. I hope you find the intimacy you seek. 
 

[MidAndy]

On 11/30/2021 at 6:59 AM, cokimstr61 said:

Hey gents. I’ve been hiring escorts and masseurs on and off for almost 20 years now. 

I’ve had a rough last 7 years after an accident and subsequently a break up with a long time partner. 

Now 5 surgeries later on my neck and shoulder and one pending on a torn hip muscle and lots of depression. I get regular medical massages and PT 

I’m a 50 year old bear. 6’ 235. Well groomed and clean with what I’m told is a decent sized tool. Because of the medical issues and some trust issues I choose not to date or hook up right now. It’s easier for me to hire for intimacy. 

When looking to hire all I’m looking for is a couple of hours of ME time. A sensual/erotic massage naked with mutual touch…2 hours of relaxation and pleasure. It doesn’t need to be a true therapeutic massage just intimacy. I am not very fond of most anal activities and it’s sometimes a real turn off to me. I enjoy just being touched everywhere and maybe some oral. I don’t think that’s very much to ask.

Every time I contact to hire I explain my situation and tell them exactly what I’m looking for.  My issue is that out of about 20 different guys I’ve hired over the past year only 2 have given me what I ask for. The rest have either come up short and most of them end up sitting on my cock so they can get fucked when I explicitly said that’s not one of the activities I was looking to do. 

I know a lot of you might think that I’m getting more than I ask for but it’s not what I want and once I’m inside him it’s difficult for me to say “hey. What are you doing. Get off” so I usually finish. 

So my question i is. How do I get a provider to give me what I’m looking for and not what they want? 

I hate to beat a dead horse. Communication?

[marylander1940]

On 11/30/2021 at 6:59 AM, cokimstr61 said:

Hey gents. I’ve been hiring escorts and masseurs on and off for almost 20 years now. 

I’ve had a rough last 7 years after an accident and subsequently a break up with a long time partner. 

Now 5 surgeries later on my neck and shoulder and one pending on a torn hip muscle and lots of depression. I get regular medical massages and PT 

I’m a 50 year old bear. 6’ 235. Well groomed and clean with what I’m told is a decent sized tool. Because of the medical issues and some trust issues I choose not to date or hook up right now. It’s easier for me to hire for intimacy. 

When looking to hire all I’m looking for is a couple of hours of ME time. A sensual/erotic massage naked with mutual touch…2 hours of relaxation and pleasure. It doesn’t need to be a true therapeutic massage just intimacy. I am not very fond of most anal activities and it’s sometimes a real turn off to me. I enjoy just being touched everywhere and maybe some oral. I don’t think that’s very much to ask.

Every time I contact to hire I explain my situation and tell them exactly what I’m looking for.  My issue is that out of about 20 different guys I’ve hired over the past year only 2 have given me what I ask for. The rest have either come up short and most of them end up sitting on my cock so they can get fucked when I explicitly said that’s not one of the activities I was looking to do. 

I know a lot of you might think that I’m getting more than I ask for but it’s not what I want and once I’m inside him it’s difficult for me to say “hey. What are you doing. Get off” so I usually finish. 

So my question i is. How do I get a provider to give me what I’m looking for and not what they want? 

Your requests aren't unusual, I'm surprised you only think 10% of those you hired "gave you what you wanted" and others got fucked by you because that's what they wanted. 

Are you still in touch with them? Have you thought about sticking to those 2 guys.

Silence is consent. They sat on your cock without your consent? That could be considered rape in some states even if you didn't say "no" or "stop".

Edited December 6, 2021 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

On 12/4/2021 at 6:42 PM, italianboyph said:

I think you should make sure they know that you don’t want any form of penetration. Also make sure the provider understands exactly what you want before you meet up. 🥰

not only by email/text but when the guy is putting lub to get fucked a client has the right to say he doesn't want to do it even if he is still hard and silent. 

On 11/30/2021 at 9:27 AM, BuffaloKyle said:

You said you've hired around 20 guys and only 2 have delivered what you want. Maybe stick with those 2 then if you enjoyed them. That way you don't even have to explain to someone new all you're looking for and hoping it works out.

Brilliant! 

[+ WilliamM]

40 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

not only by email/text but when the guy is putting lub to get fucked a client has the right to say he doesn't want to do it even if he is still hard and silent. 

Brilliant! 

The poster was quite clear in writing above that he has been through a lot physically and mentally.

A provider may be fine in stopping the session for a brief heart to heart but one can't be sure with someone you barely know.