10 Shitty Stereotypes about Gays (might be 3% true, but mostly they're crap)

[Merboy]

There exists a proletariat of gay guys in this country and around the world that is nothing like the media's portrayal of gay men.   Here are 10 shitty stereotypes that must be blown up ASAP:

1. Gay men love Broadway musicals.  Okay, I do... but most of them don't live in the Northeast and yes I think if you're a Northeastern gay guy theatre is a big part of the culture out here.  Cali gay guys aren't nearly into musicals, and Southern gay boys are more into country and gospel.  The Broadway thing is often shared with the wee gay tot by a family member or a friend of the family - and that's how he sees Broadway shows... most often in the anecdotes told of the Baby Boomer gays, it was an aunt (like Auntie Mame) or dear mother (who was like Betty Crocker reading The Joy of Gay Sex in her schmotha as she baked cookies for you and the girl she taught you liked).

2. Gay men are fashionable, chic as shit, and love all things related to couture, runways, and models.  This is the "Stanford Blatch" caricature and I should say that Willie Garson was a wonderful person it seems but I never liked his character from SATC.  It was even more degrading than Jack McFarland was, because Willie was a mere sidekick, a mere appendage, like an accessory to his hag, Sarah Jessica Parker.  The insanity of him even being attracted to the equally femme and swishing through the air Mario Cantone and getting married was ludicrous shark-jumping.  But back to the topic - this idea that Bravo has done so much damage with, that the "cool white gay men" that dominate the entertainment industry want to makeover every old straight dude in a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a Willie Nelson vibe that walks into Walmart in Mississippi is STUNATS.... it's just batty as fuck.  Movin' on, friends of Dorothy.

3. Gay men like movies, the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and Hollywood personalities.  This is actually (drumroll, please) true.  Gay men really like movies, and it's not as much as their straight counterparts, but it's sometimes different movies - Mommie Dearest is one example.  Gay dudes see this movie not the way straight guys ever could.  It's almost a work of art, if you can get past the hubris of it... It's camp, and camp is appreciated by our community.  We are camp, and we own it, and we have brought it to the rest of the world.  But also, gay men in Hollywood deserve a huge round of applause for working their asses off in an industry that is supposed to be so "woke" but is really still run by studios controlled by white straight old men.  Hence MeToo - which is not exclusively about violating and exploiting women, but also gay men.  (See Kevin Spacey.)

4. Gay men are gorgeous.  Those Instahunks present an idealized image that straight women love to lust after (much like horny str8 bros love to lust after girly lesbians who act nothing like most real lesbians I've met).... the Instahunks are ridiculously buffed, tanned, beautified, with not an imperfection in sight... and yes we all look at them and want them just as much as they want themselves, but they are like 1% of this community.  Most of us are run-of-the-mill, average dudes, and we are not at all exceptionally attractive.... also, age.  Insta and social media is geared towards youthful beauty, not old beauty.  Take Tomas Brand for example.  Gorgeous hunk of Daddy cock, but is he lighting up Twitter or Insta the way the 18 year old boy from the fraternity or the football team that's suddenly realized he has a better ass than any of his girlfriends is?  No.  Also, I'm convinced some of "those hot young gay guys"  are actually bisexual men, and not Gold Star gays...

5. Gay men worship the Kardashians and the Real Housewives.  Not even I'm immune to these unbelievably vapid, dopey "pop icons", and I name drop them in daily conversations - always as something not to be or something stupid that "everybody" wants and likes.  But seriously, I have NEVER met an actual gay guy who thinks the Kardashians are attractive or that the Real Housewives are to be idolized the way their moms are idolized... once again thank you Bravo and E! for peddling this crap... actually I think it's one man - Andy Cohen - who I actually love because he's kinda sweet, but seriously, Andy start shining that spotlight on Matt Bomer and Andrew Rannells, and get them to make out and take off their clothes on set, because THAT is what gay men in America want to see.  A super hot aging gay guy (Bomer) and a super cute boyish next door aging gay guy (Rannells) having authentic gay sex on camera.

6. Gay men are sexual beings that will blow any guy they see.  TOTALLY TOTALLY FALSE.  There's a lot of gay priests out there and they aren't sexual.  Ok, maybe wrong tack to take with this... but seriously, many many gay men (young, old, and dead) are not getting laid.  Even the gay fetuses are not getting any... yet.  In my lifetime (1985-present), I know all about what devastated gay men in the 1980s and how it literally WIPED OUT an entire generation of BOYS - boys that had such promising futures and hopes and dreams, and how they are all dead now, and how HIV/AIDS rapidly spread with all those bathhouses, unprotected orgies on Fire Island, and the "Meat Racks"... dang, why did that Plague have to happen at all???!?!  Could it have been avoided like we could have avoided COVID?  (loaded debate for another thread).... but there's this book that contradicts the prevailing glorified "Gay men in the 70s were all about expressing their sexuality" to the exclusion of any other community activities (no, gulping down a hot steamy load off a construction worker or two doesn't count as community service).  Great book I recommend for reading is Stand by Me by Jim Downs.

7. I give up, so there's 6.  My fingers are tired of typing...

 

but what about y'all?  What are some popular gay stereotypes you secretly detest?  What are some truisms about being gay  that you think SHOULD be stereotypes?

[maninsoma]

Prior to moving to San Francisco in the mid 1980s, I assumed there was some truth to the stereotype that gay men had more refined tastes in a variety of ways -- food, clothing, interior design, etc.  I was surprised to find a lot of horrible restaurants in the Castro -- independent restaurants that served Denny's quality food. 

I also assumed that, being an oppressed minority, gay men were less likely to be racist and sexist.  Ha!

[marylander1940]

3 hours ago, Merboy said:

There exists a proletariat of gay guys in this country and around the world that is nothing like the media's portrayal of gay men.   Here are 10 shitty stereotypes that must be blown up ASAP:

1. Gay men love Broadway musicals.  Okay, I do... but most of them don't live in the Northeast and yes I think if you're a Northeastern gay guy theatre is a big part of the culture out here.  Cali gay guys aren't nearly into musicals, and Southern gay boys are more into country and gospel.  The Broadway thing is often shared with the wee gay tot by a family member or a friend of the family - and that's how he sees Broadway shows... most often in the anecdotes told of the Baby Boomer gays, it was an aunt (like Auntie Mame) or dear mother (who was like Betty Crocker reading The Joy of Gay Sex in her schmotha as she baked cookies for you and the girl she taught you liked).

2. Gay men are fashionable, chic as shit, and love all things related to couture, runways, and models.  This is the "Stanford Blatch" caricature and I should say that Willie Garson was a wonderful person it seems but I never liked his character from SATC.  It was even more degrading than Jack McFarland was, because Willie was a mere sidekick, a mere appendage, like an accessory to his hag, Sarah Jessica Parker.  The insanity of him even being attracted to the equally femme and swishing through the air Mario Cantone and getting married was ludicrous shark-jumping.  But back to the topic - this idea that Bravo has done so much damage with, that the "cool white gay men" that dominate the entertainment industry want to makeover every old straight dude in a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a Willie Nelson vibe that walks into Walmart in Mississippi is STUNATS.... it's just batty as fuck.  Movin' on, friends of Dorothy.

3. Gay men like movies, the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and Hollywood personalities.  This is actually (drumroll, please) true.  Gay men really like movies, and it's not as much as their straight counterparts, but it's sometimes different movies - Mommie Dearest is one example.  Gay dudes see this movie not the way straight guys ever could.  It's almost a work of art, if you can get past the hubris of it... It's camp, and camp is appreciated by our community.  We are camp, and we own it, and we have brought it to the rest of the world.  But also, gay men in Hollywood deserve a huge round of applause for working their asses off in an industry that is supposed to be so "woke" but is really still run by studios controlled by white straight old men.  Hence MeToo - which is not exclusively about violating and exploiting women, but also gay men.  (See Kevin Spacey.)

4. Gay men are gorgeous.  Those Instahunks present an idealized image that straight women love to lust after (much like horny str8 bros love to lust after girly lesbians who act nothing like most real lesbians I've met).... the Instahunks are ridiculously buffed, tanned, beautified, with not an imperfection in sight... and yes we all look at them and want them just as much as they want themselves, but they are like 1% of this community.  Most of us are run-of-the-mill, average dudes, and we are not at all exceptionally attractive.... also, age.  Insta and social media is geared towards youthful beauty, not old beauty.  Take Tomas Brand for example.  Gorgeous hunk of Daddy cock, but is he lighting up Twitter or Insta the way the 18 year old boy from the fraternity or the football team that's suddenly realized he has a better ass than any of his girlfriends is?  No.  Also, I'm convinced some of "those hot young gay guys"  are actually bisexual men, and not Gold Star gays...

5. Gay men worship the Kardashians and the Real Housewives.  Not even I'm immune to these unbelievably vapid, dopey "pop icons", and I name drop them in daily conversations - always as something not to be or something stupid that "everybody" wants and likes.  But seriously, I have NEVER met an actual gay guy who thinks the Kardashians are attractive or that the Real Housewives are to be idolized the way their moms are idolized... once again thank you Bravo and E! for peddling this crap... actually I think it's one man - Andy Cohen - who I actually love because he's kinda sweet, but seriously, Andy start shining that spotlight on Matt Bomer and Andrew Rannells, and get them to make out and take off their clothes on set, because THAT is what gay men in America want to see.  A super hot aging gay guy (Bomer) and a super cute boyish next door aging gay guy (Rannells) having authentic gay sex on camera.

6. Gay men are sexual beings that will blow any guy they see.  TOTALLY TOTALLY FALSE.  There's a lot of gay priests out there and they aren't sexual.  Ok, maybe wrong tack to take with this... but seriously, many many gay men (young, old, and dead) are not getting laid.  Even the gay fetuses are not getting any... yet.  In my lifetime (1985-present), I know all about what devastated gay men in the 1980s and how it literally WIPED OUT an entire generation of BOYS - boys that had such promising futures and hopes and dreams, and how they are all dead now, and how HIV/AIDS rapidly spread with all those bathhouses, unprotected orgies on Fire Island, and the "Meat Racks"... dang, why did that Plague have to happen at all???!?!  Could it have been avoided like we could have avoided COVID?  (loaded debate for another thread).... but there's this book that contradicts the prevailing glorified "Gay men in the 70s were all about expressing their sexuality" to the exclusion of any other community activities (no, gulping down a hot steamy load off a construction worker or two doesn't count as community service).  Great book I recommend for reading is Stand by Me by Jim Downs.

7. I give up, so there's 6.  My fingers are tired of typing...

 

but what about y'all?  What are some popular gay stereotypes you secretly detest?  What are some truisms about being gay  that you think SHOULD be stereotypes?

Gay men are in great shape...

Gay men age better than straight guys...

Gay men are tolerant of others and able to walk in someone else's shoes before judging them... 

both aren't always true

[+ Charlie]

Part of the problem is the assumption that "gay" and "homosexual" are equivalent definitions. A similar false equivalence was common before the 1960s, when it was assumed that an "effeminate" man must be "homosexual," and vice versa. The six stereotypes listed above are probably more commonly true of "gay" men than of homosexual men in general. Many "gay" men, BTW, subscribe to the same kind of "bull-dyke" stereotypes about lesbians.

[KeepItReal]

34 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Gay men are in great shape...

Gay men age better than straight guys...

Gay men are tolerant of others and able to walk in someone else's shoes before judging them... 

both aren't always true

Hey, that's all true - I am the perfect example! 😋😋

[Alex93108]

Gay men have higher incomes ( well depends - in my universe that is largely true)

 

[marylander1940]

15 minutes ago, jetlow said:

Gay men have higher incomes ( well depends - in my universe that is largely true)

 

One more stereotype related to the one posted above:

Gay men have their shit together and they're savvy investors who know how to plan for the future... actually that might be true in most cases but I've met plenty of fuckups too who missed every chance life gave them. 

[+ FrankR]

1 hour ago, jetlow said:

Gay men have higher incomes ( well depends - in my universe that is largely true)

 

Haven’t heard that one, but there is definitely an assumption that they have higher disposable income… This guncle gets hit up for cash quite a bit. 💸

[jeezifonly]

Stereotype: Gay men love lists of stereotypes.