Donation on Arrival or After Service?

[orville]

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This question is mainly for providers.

Providers and clients may have different views.

What do you prefer, and why?

Have you had a client who didn't want to pay after?

What have you done when in conflict?

Edited September 8, 2020 by orville

[Smurof]

First time, always before. All subsequent visits, either one is fine. Never do advance pre-paid visit plans. Clients and providers seem to frequently disagree on the number that is presently in session. It is frustrating to think a provider believes you are ripping them off when you aren't because they count visits incorrectly, not you.

[dbar123]

I always leave the money in plain sight on the counter or dresser. With escorts I've used before, I put it in an envelope with a personal note or small gift depending upon the season.

[Armann]

I never charge upfront, i welcome my client, break the ice with some light conversation and then provide the service, i ask him to leave the money on the table as he leaves.

[NikoLeto]

I've been burned as recently as a month ago for my policy, but like @Armann, I ask for payment at the end. I think this allows everything to run similar to the kind of encounter a client would experience during a regular hookup, minus the obviously necessary business at the end.

 

I also avoid counting the money until I or the client has left. I once had a client get violent when I confronted him about the missing money. Not worth the scuffle. Even if you win, you're still likely to come out with a black eye or a bloody lip and that's not sexy.

[orville]

likely to come out with a black eye or a bloody lip and that's not sexy.

OMG, did this happen when you confronted him?

[asianmusclebttm]

I think because there are bad apple providers AND clients, both parties tend to be cautious.

 

Anytime I've received up front is usually a green client (meaning they are new to hiring, or haven't hired much)

 

I always receive afterwards, and like @NikoLeto said, I think its best to look after your own safety in a situation like that. Your safety is worth more than whatever the donation is.

[ArmyHands]

I always ask the end... Don't won't them to feel awkward etc... I just start out right away with thank you for coming or by asking what do you want me to mainly focus on i.e. Legs, Back etc. At the end it works out fine...

[dbar123]

I also avoid counting the money until I or the client has left. I once had a client get violent when I confronted him about the missing money. Not worth the scuffle. Even if you win, you're still likely to come out with a black eye or a bloody lip and that's not sexy.

 

I had an escort physically count each dollar that I gave him before the session that I left on his dresser when I walked in. It was a stack of 10’s and 20’s held together with a binder clip. I thought it was really tacky on his part, especially since I had trusted him enough to leave the money before service.

 

Needless to say I did not have a rematch with him nor did I leave any kind of review. If I have nothing nice to say then I just don’t bother

[Daverwr]

I have always left payment in an envelope in a conspicuous place. Only once did a “provider” take it the moment he walked in the room. (I use the quotations because he provided very little.) It was a miserable experience and he spent most of the time in the bathroom. When he left he said, “Now you know why we take our money up front!”

[orville]

I'm listening. I've had all different kinds of experiences with providers regarding payment, but would love to hear from more providers as more than one here in Canada has asked for the money on arrival, especially when I've met with them for the first time. Luckily for me, those episodes have not been correlated to bad service, except for 1 time when I paid on arrival and the service was "done" after 45-50 mins.

Edited September 8, 2020 by orville

[+ Reisr30]

I always leave the money in plain sight on the counter or dresser. With escorts I've used before, I put it in an envelope with a personal note or small gift depending upon the season.

 

OMG, this reminded me of the movie The Bird Cage where a senator died after saying the money was on the dresser ?.

 

Sorry didn’t mean to derail the OP’s ?

[GTMike]

I've only been involved for a relatively short tme period ~4 to 5 years versus many others on here, but have never provided consideration in a deposit advance (except for plain ticket) or provided anything at the very beginning of a meeting for a 1st time meet.

 

However regardless of the time committment ranging from an hour to an overnight, i always will offer and provide a portion of the agreed upon fee after some initial period of hanging out getting to know each other time, to make sure the person knows there's no BS on my part. And if they were planning on scamming theoretically they could make an excsue and hint they want to leave early with a portion of the fee. (never has happened).

 

Experience has been that we've always continued on as planned with the balance of consideration coming sometime towards the end of the meeting and never has been an issue with either side.

[NikoLeto]

OMG, did this happen when you confronted him?

 

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm very good at hand to hand fighting. Something I refined in the Army, still, the specific encounter I'm recounting, the dude was able to elbow me in the eye and it left a noticeable bruise that I had to explain over and over. If he'd had a weapon of any kind, I could've gotten seriously hurt. Definitely not worth $50, $100, or even the whole amount. Better just to walk away. There'll always be another client eventually.

 

Generally speaking, any quirk of providing that I have (bringing my own lube, not counting the money, accepting payment after the fact, etc.), it's almost always strictly because I've had one super-bad experience that burned me enough that I make it my priority to never make that particular mistake again. Which is not to say that I've been hounded by consistently bad clients, quite the opposite. Probably 99% of the people I've seen have been amicable, even when we don't end up meeting for whatever reason.

 

It really just take one particularly bad experience to change your perspective on things.

[orville]

the dude was able to elbow me in the eye and it left a noticeable bruise that I had to explain over and over. If he'd had a weapon of any kind, I could've gotten seriously hurt.

I'm very sorry this happened to you This is why if it's a well-known escort, and asks for it, I will give/show it to him. I think it's about 50/50 the number of times they've asked for it (or not) when we've met for the first/only time. Maybe I'm more empathetic than the average but I also don't want them to perform badly (half f*ck me) If they will constantly have the thought of "is he gonna pay me or not?" in the back of their minds. As others have suggested, the money in a visible place tends to move concerns away, for both parts.

[RuffLeatherPig]

I had an escort physically count each dollar that I gave him before the session that I left on his dresser when I walked in. It was a stack of 10’s and 20’s held together with a binder clip. I thought it was really tacky on his part, especially since I had trusted him enough to leave the money before service.

 

Needless to say I did not have a rematch with him nor did I leave any kind of review. If I have nothing nice to say then I just don’t bother

 

Pay up front, always. Tip at the end and only if warranted. This is a transaction. It is not tacky to count the money, it is just a verification. There are two parts of the transaction and that’s all it is. I am sure that you are trustworthy and a trusting individual, but there is nothing tacky about counting out the money, especially if the price has been set before hand. I think we all need to get over our hang-ups about how we deal around money.

[+ RJD]

I'm very sorry this happened to you This is why if it's a well-known escort, and asks for it, I will give/show it to him. I think it's about 50/50 the number of times they've asked for it (or not) when we've met for the first/only time. Maybe I'm more empathetic than the average but I also don't want them to perform badly (half f*ck me) If they will constantly have the thought of "is he gonna pay me or not?" in the back of their minds. As others have suggested, the money in a visible place tends to move concerns away, for both parts.

 

Conversely, he could've half f*cked you because you paid upfront. Where's his incentive to give you 100% if he already got his 100%. You can argue that it's insulting to the provider to think that, but it's equally insulting to the client to think you're not going to pay. There are risks for both parties, but I have never nor will I ever pay upfront.

 

I've only had one provider in whom I showed interest require payment upfront. The only reason the subject was even broached was because he informed me he accepted electronic payments. I wanted to be sure he wasn't expecting an electronic deposit, so I told him I pay all cash at the end of the session. He asked how I could expect a provider to wait until the end and the donation was always paid upon arrival. I thanked him for his time and told him to take care. End of story. Even if he relented there would still be some unease because of that exchange.

[TT3690]

I had one guy get kinda angry and ask "where's my money?" before we got started- which was extra strange because this was the second time we met and I paid after the first time? Now I just leave it on a dresser or counter or something before we begin and there have been no issues.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I have a regular who says on his add that he takes his fee at the start of the session.

 

I have another regular who collects at the end of the session.

 

both of these professionals provide more than they offer.

 

however I have been ripped of in the pastby both those who require payment before and after

[Lazarus]

I like to set the mood by playing Bitch Better Have My Money on my phone when an escort arrives.

[OrBlanc]

I generally would do as asked, some providers ask for it upfront, in my experience those are the ones that rarely get a call back, the guys I tip usually ask for it at the end or don't ask at all (I usually either put it on top of a drawer during in-calls or just give it to them) maybe guys who don't ask upfront are a little more confident on the fact that maybe you'll want stay longer for seconds or tip?

 

Maybe I'm just an easy client because I treat it as if it were any other hookup, am always well groomed, I try to be flirty and charming and I'm a bit on the younger side of clients, but I think only once have I felt not entirely secure with the transaction/feared that a provider could get physical and only once did I really feel like I had wasted perfectly good money.

 

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm very good at hand to hand fighting. Something I refined in the Army, still, the specific encounter I'm recounting, the dude was able to elbow me in the eye and it left a noticeable bruise that I had to explain over and over. If he'd had a weapon of any kind, I could've gotten seriously hurt. Definitely not worth $50, $100, or even the whole amount. Better just to walk away. There'll always be another client eventually.

 

I personally think the bruise would have been a pleasant surprise as a client, but I get how some might be less than charmed by it. But this is the main reason why I try to be polite and nice, I think any encounter is gonna be much easier if the other party is calm and feels safe and secure at the end of the day you're both taking a risk by meeting (specifically if its for the first time)

[NikoLeto]

I personally think the bruise would have been a pleasant surprise as a client, but I get how some might be less than charmed by it. But this is the main reason why I try to be polite and nice, I think any encounter is gonna be much easier if the other party is calm and feels safe and secure at the end of the day you're both taking a risk by meeting (specifically if its for the first time)

 

If I recall correctly, the bruise lasted a handful of days as a dark blue welt until it simply began to look like I wasn't getting enough sleep in one eye. I only had a handful of clients across that weekend, but each time a solid 20 minutes was spent recounting the story. At least one of the persons I related the story to was very unsettled and it seemed as though he thought I was easily provoked. Not to mention the utterly impossible position it put me in at my day job. In any office job any amount of gossip is huge. And I immediately noticed that I started getting hello's from people who otherwise had absolutely no reason to visit my corner of the building.

[Mydavid]

I only paid upfront twice. Both sessions were cut much shorter than we planned, and I didn't want to argue but left, never repeat.

[crushme99]

I have had 5 sessions over the years, divided up between 3 guys - twice, twice, once. In all of those enjoyable sessions I left the agreed-upon amount conspicuously in sight. Nothing was ever asked by the provider, I gave it to them before he left, and I added a tip. 3 nice guys that I would hire again, except I believe one has retired.

[urbanfetish]

I hate paying up front. I have almost always been disappointed when I paid first. There is no incentive to do a good job when they already have the money. I usually still pay the base rate when service isn't good but no tip. I have paid less, like about half the original price, on a couple of occasions when things went south early on in the session and I left early. For example, there was an escort who "promised the world" in our email correspondence but only gave me about 30 seconds of service before saying he needed to use the bathroom to properly clean himself (which he should have done before, of course). He came back in a few minutes but said he couldn't perform anymore - only light stuff for the rest of the session. I got dressed, gave him a little money and left with him yelling at me for full payment. I was probably there for only 15-20 minutes at most and the problem was on his end, not mine. (If the problem was ever on my end, I would pay in full though.)