Wasting Time 2.0

[xyz48B]

Why is the escort’s time assumed to be the only guy’s time of value? I get that a lot of so-called clients aren’t serious so there’s a desire to want to ward against that, but when I messages a provider and he messages back with nothing of real value (Hi, hey, yeah, etc) and I follow up to no response, it’s a waste of my time too…How long do you hold out on a potential provider who’s “busy” before you determine he’s a waste of time? Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)

 

I’m posting here because I’d also like to get escorts’ take on this too. Perhaps I’m not seeing all sides of this.

[CuriousByNature]

Why is the escort’s time assumed to be the only guy’s time of value? I get that a lot of so-called clients aren’t serious so there’s a desire to want to ward against that, but when I messages a provider and he messages back with nothing of real value (Hi, hey, yeah, etc) and I follow up to no response, it’s a waste of my time too…How long do you hold out on a potential provider who’s “busy” before you determine he’s a waste of time? Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)

 

I’m posting here because I’d also like to get escorts’ take on this too. Perhaps I’m not seeing all sides of this.

I would think if someone is serious about the work they are doing they would reply to you in a way that reflects that. But maybe Im an old fashioned 40-something. Well, not maybe, its definitely. Anyhoo if a reply is flakey, standoffish, arrogant, dismissive or just bizarre, it might be providing you a glimpse of what you'll encounter if you meet in person.

[Smurof]

If there ends up being a 3.0 version of this thread, I already know where this is headed. ?

[marylander1940]

Why is the escort’s time assumed to be the only guy’s time of value? I get that a lot of so-called clients aren’t serious so there’s a desire to want to ward against that, but when I messages a provider and he messages back with nothing of real value (Hi, hey, yeah, etc) and I follow up to no response, it’s a waste of my time too…How long do you hold out on a potential provider who’s “busy” before you determine he’s a waste of time? Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)

 

I’m posting here because I’d also like to get escorts’ take on this too. Perhaps I’m not seeing all sides of this.

 

Try calling him.

 

I know escorts who always reply: "Where are you? When are you looking to getting together? What do you get into?" and some clients get offended by such questions because they're too invasive...

 

Life is as complicated as we want it to be. If there's a will there's a way, unfortunately some escorts assume an unresponsive client is shopping around or not serious.

 

Making plans by text shouldn't be rocket science but some it is. Ask questions and if you don't get answers move on, grab the bull by the horns.

[xyz48B]

Try calling him.

All well and good unless it says “No calls.” Which, in some instances, could be a reasonable limit.

[xyz48B]

If there ends up being a 3.0 version of this thread, I already know where this is headed. ?

Am I missing something? ? Enlighten me!

[Smurof]

The first wasting time thread was a doozy in length with responses, that's all I meant. ?

[xyz48B]

That was geared more toward potential clients wasting a provider’s time. I mean this as a provider wasting potential a client’s time.

[Shawn Monroe]

I’m not even sure what you’re asking.

 

Are you asking us to answer for why one escort wasted your time and didn’t think it was valuable?

 

Are you asking us to validate your frustration?

 

I understand you’re asking us for input but what you’d like input on isn’t clear.

[+ azdr0710]

when I messages a provider and he messages back with nothing of real value (Hi, hey, yeah, etc) and I follow up to no response, it’s a waste of my time too…

 

are your messages brief, professional, discreet, friendly, and to-the-point?.......you're not mentioning money and "acts" anywhere near each other, are you?......

 

everybody in the world, except maybe the weird hermit who lives in that cave just outside of town, feels their time is wasted, at, uhh, times......I inadvertently got in the slowest line at Costco the other day.....

[xyz48B]

@Shawn Monroe – I did ask, “Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)” Answering “I’m sorry. I’m not interested” would save me time. I’ve had an escort tell me “I don’t owe you an explanation,” which I suppose is true, regarding why he cancelled on me and got rude. But some guys don’t even do that much. They just...disappear. Which is a clear message, but you have to wait to find out...

 

Likewise, I guess I’m asking for a discussion about the clients. Perhaps it’s my impression, but it seems the way some providers speak (on this forum even) is as if a client should feel honored to even get a “hey” back, let alone more details.

 

@azdr0710 – I always try to be articulate so that I can convey I’m serious, say that I’m contacting after having seen a RM ad and if I could know about overnight and weekend rates. That seems to me a good opener...Not long but clearly not just looking to jerk someone around unprofessionally. Perhaps some guys don’t want an articulate, professional interaction. In that case, say outright “not interested.”

[xyz48B]

Perhaps I’m projecting, but I’m feeling shade for daring to ask...

[+ azdr0710]

@xyz48B I think we're just saying there are all types around - everywhere we go.....you gotta be ready for guys who won't reply, guys who won't offer helpful answers, and any other possibility.......and not act miffed about it.......your quandary has been discussed since Hooboy days here on the forum and has not been resolved - ever.......

 

by the way, you suggest that you start off initial inquiries with interest in overnight/weekend rates.......that may be scaring many off!!.......not only are they possibly hesitant to commit to that long with an unknown, they may not want to quote a rate that may scare you off (or they may not even know how to price themselves for a weekend)......try starting with a two-hour meet, instead, to see if you both get along.....

Edited June 17, 2020 by azdr0710

[xyz48B]

I think what “miffs”* me is the idea that I’m supposed to remain free of miff for time wasted, ask what I am doing wrong to fuck up communication, and accommodate the sense that I am the time waster because I’m a client. The provider’s time – heaven forbid we don’t waste that! But my time – that’s expendable however the cookie crumbles. I know these guys are desirable, but but the “to hell with the client” attitude some providers seem to exude, while I suppose doesn’t require an explanation, is disrespectful. Of course not all, probably not most, escorts don’t do this, but those who do make it discouraging to keep up with it. I have no problem moving on to the next provider, but how much time do I spend waiting to hear back til my time is considered wasted? Is it unaccounted for me to consider multiple providers? Is messaging multiple providers to make the best decision for me so unacceptable? I have a hard time believing that providers aren’t turning down multiple guys (either explicitly or ghosting) so why isn’t the same prerogative afforded the client?

 

Is the provider’s time more valuable than the client’s?

 

*Good word.

[xyz48B]

If it’s been discussed before, I’ll shut up about it if people think this is a fruitless conversation...

[+ Pensant]

It’s not fruitless; it’s simply an issue that’s been around for a long time. When you were in your 20’s, were you a top-notch professional? I think I was, but to a 50 or 60 year old, perhaps not so much. Just be patient and realize that they have their own lives and aren’t on 24/7 duty.

[xyz48B]

Probably some of it’s the COVID-19 stuff getting to me...Stir crazy!

[+ Pensant]

Probably some of it’s the COVID-19 stuff getting to me...Stir crazy!

Amen, bro!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

@Shawn Monroe – I did ask, “Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)” Answering “I’m sorry. I’m not interested” would save me time. I’ve had an escort tell me “I don’t owe you an explanation,” which I suppose is true, regarding why he cancelled on me and got rude. But some guys don’t even do that much. They just...disappear. Which is a clear message, but you have to wait to find out...

 

That escort in question sounds like self absorbed, and that is absolutely 100%, not the answer to give to a client. I mean, I've given/give clients some brusque responses as well...but there's no reason to be a downright dick about shit. If I cancel, I will absolutely give a plausible reason. A client does deserve an explanation, likewise does an escort. Only a man of low integrity would think otherwise. Even if someone fucked up, just say it. Overscheduled, bad day, car broke down...it'll at-least give enlightenment to the situation, and avoid hard feelings.

 

What you talk about is almost similar to my recent post about client sex versus hookup sex, and why hookups tend to be less consistent in the long run, despite the fact that they're getting something "pro bono".

 

My personal experience, and reason why I don't fuck with many, if any other escorts nowadays: with the exception of the gracious guys on this site...most of the escorts out there ain't about shit. Just like most of the guys on hookup apps ain't about shit. Fuck em once, and turn em loose is mostly what they're good for. Not a goddamn, MF-ing thang else. Not because they're actually bad people, but because they're only about themselves. They see exchanges as what they can get out of it, not what the other person can get out of it.

 

Just because someone posts an ad on the internet naked, doesn't give them clout. Lot of these guys be on drugs, be using fake pics, are half straight guys trying to play gay, in an open relationship, or only do it as a sport, not a career.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I have no problem moving on to the next provider, but how much time do I spend waiting to hear back til my time is considered wasted? Is it unaccounted for me to consider multiple providers? Is messaging multiple providers to make the best decision for me so unacceptable? I have a hard time believing that providers aren’t turning down multiple guys (either explicitly or ghosting) so why isn’t the same prerogative afforded the client?

 

Is the provider’s time more valuable than the client’s?

 

Whoa Whoa whoa, let's back up. One question at a time. If we answer the first question, that'll kinda help answer all the others. How much time do you spend waiting? Well how much time did you agree to? Do you tell them, "if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to"? If not, you should. If they don't reply, you know what to do next.

 

This is where clients get mixed up. They assume, and then start contacting others, without actually giving some sort of parameters. Once a provider starts communicating with you, don't go making other plans unless it's clear that the person hasn't responded within the time parameters discussed. And that may have to be up to an hour prior to an appointment time.

 

I've had more than enough times where clients have been like, "oh I didn't hear back so made other plans". That's a real dick move. Because I never consulted them to tell them I had cancelled or made others plans. They simply assumed and took it upon themselves to make other arrangements, despite the concessions that were already planned. That's a $200 cancellation fee.

 

But lately to avoid that, I just try to make sure #1 the session is confirmed with deposit and #2, make sure they know, that I know...once we make plans it's made. No need to confirm and reconfirm unless I specifically say: "check with me the day before to re-confirm."

 

Also I tell people don't assume I do or don't have other appointments. Clients always think when they don't hear back instantly, the escort is making other appointments. Remember, we're in the middle of a pandemic, recession/depression, and nationwide social unrest. There is still demand out here, but most days, it's also very dead. Dead, dead. Zombie apocalypse dead (okay I'm exaggerating) ? So I'm not turning down any clients, I'm only blocking timewasters who contact for appointments, and then don't follow thru.

 

I've also left my Rentmen messenger on auto reply, and pretty soon may no longer be responding to messages on Adam4Adam. Only direct texts. The site is a magnet for indecisive, inconsiderate mind fucks who can't be relied on for serious inquiries. Fortunately, it still brings real clients my way...so I try and deal.

[xyz48B]

@Jarrod_Uncut –

Definitely going to lay out the timeline approach, with ample response time, going forward.

 

Do providers only focus on arrangements with one guy at a time? For example, if I contact a provider for tomorrow for an overnight, discuss some matters, but nothing's finalized yet – what does a provider do when another guy, let's say, contacts and asks if tomorrow evening he's available for dinner and "Netflix and chill" afterwards? Do providers keep "options open?" I ask because I'm genuinely curious. It seems to me that what you're suggesting is that a client should communicate with one provider at a time, and if that doesn't pan, move on. Do I understand that correctly?

 

It sounds like you approach this seriously. I think that's also part of it, which has also been indirectly addressed here. Some of the providers simply aren't serious, it would seem. Clients are thought to be flakes who reach out with no intention of meeting, but anyone can put up some pictures online and advertise services without being truly seriously committed. "Sex exchanges" you call them. I guess I'm hoping for this hobby to be a bit more than that. Perhaps I'm naive.

 

I don't have to tell you, I'm sure, but more for those who immediately think that all clients are time wasters – just as clients shouldn't think if a provider doesn't immediately respond that they're making other appointments, providers shouldn't out the gate think that every potential client is a flake for asking questions or for how the questions are asked. People are different and have different approaches. Some providers are great about professional communication – fast and efficient. Some are dreadful (hence the thread). Some clients are satisfied to fuck and go, others would like a client to fulfill some fantasy and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask some questions upfront to see if there's some compatibility for that. That doesn't mean it's a waste of time – in fact, it might be the opposite. And furthermore, it saves the client money from a disappointment. Unless, of course, the client is just a human ATM for providers…whole other bag of potatoes, there.

[+ peterhung85]

@Shawn Monroe – I did ask, “Also – is it too much to expect a guy to say outright he’s not interested instead of “ghosting” (not sure it’s ghosting in this business, but you know what I mean...)” Answering “I’m sorry. I’m not interested” would save me time. I’ve had an escort tell me “I don’t owe you an explanation,” which I suppose is true, regarding why he cancelled on me and got rude. But some guys don’t even do that much. They just...disappear. Which is a clear message, but you have to wait to find out...

 

Likewise, I guess I’m asking for a discussion about the clients. Perhaps it’s my impression, but it seems the way some providers speak (on this forum even) is as if a client should feel honored to even get a “hey” back, let alone more details.

 

@azdr0710 – I always try to be articulate so that I can convey I’m serious, say that I’m contacting after having seen a RM ad and if I could know about overnight and weekend rates. That seems to me a good opener...Not long but clearly not just looking to jerk someone around unprofessionally. Perhaps some guys don’t want an articulate, professional interaction. In that case, say outright “not interested.”

 

It is a sad phenomenon and you are right about it. It is just courtesy to politely decline and move on. You have no idea, how often that actually happens on the clients' side as well. I can only speak for myself and unless your messages are not rude or demeaning by nature, I always respond to everyone. Bottom line, it is much better that this sort of behavior (whether client or escort side) happens PRIOR to you paying out your hard-earned money to someone who reciprocates it with lack of courtesy, professionalism, and disrespect.

[mike carey]

I can only speak for myself and unless your messages are not rude or demeaning by nature, I always respond to everyone.

Yes, you do, at least from my experience. And at the time of our first contact I was an unlikely person to meet you. I wasn't in Vegas and didn't have a clear time when I would be, but you maintained very civil contact over the long time between then and when we were able to meet.

[marylander1940]

@Jarrod_Uncut –

Definitely going to lay out the timeline approach, with ample response time, going forward.

 

Do providers only focus on arrangements with one guy at a time?

 

Considering most of them are Millennials I'm sure they could multitasking and chatting (among other things) with multiple guys at the same time.

 

For example, if I contact a provider for tomorrow for an overnight, discuss some matters, but nothing's finalized yet – what does a provider do when another guy, let's say, contacts and asks if tomorrow evening he's available for dinner and "Netflix and chill" afterwards? Do providers keep "options open?" I ask because I'm genuinely curious. It seems to me that what you're suggesting is that a client should communicate with one provider at a time, and if that doesn't pan, move on. Do I understand that correctly?

 

Better a bird in hand... until you or the other guy make plans it's all up in the air. First come first served but once they make plans most escorts stick to them.

 

No shows do happen but sooner or later we'll have to trust both ways.

 

I've seen this guy for years, every time I make plans with him the texts me: "when will you head over?" and "text me when you leave your place!". Simple basic instructions because shit does happen, it's not the same saying I'll leave in 5 mins then saying "I just left".

 

It sounds like you approach this seriously. I think that's also part of it, which has also been indirectly addressed here. Some of the providers simply aren't serious, it would seem. Clients are thought to be flakes who reach out with no intention of meeting, but anyone can put up some pictures online and advertise services without being truly seriously committed. "Sex exchanges" you call them. I guess I'm hoping for this hobby to be a bit more than that. Perhaps I'm naive.

 

Yes @Jarrod_Uncut is someone who's been in the business for a long time because of demand, and commitment. He's also an honest poster!

 

Most clients contact a few providers depending on who is available in their city and make up their mind, some simply want someone soon, some for later.

 

I don't have to tell you, I'm sure, but more for those who immediately think that all clients are time wasters – just as clients shouldn't think if a provider doesn't immediately respond that they're making other appointments, providers shouldn't out the gate think that every potential client is a flake for asking questions or for how the questions are asked. People are different and have different approaches. Some providers are great about professional communication – fast and efficient. Some are dreadful (hence the thread). Some clients are satisfied to fuck and go, others would like a client to fulfill some fantasy and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask some questions upfront to see if there's some compatibility for that. That doesn't mean it's a waste of time – in fact, it might be the opposite. And furthermore, it saves the client money from a disappointment. Unless, of course, the client is just a human ATM for providers…whole other bag of potatoes, there.

 

Those who immediately thing most clients are time wasters should get another job. BTW one thing is a client and other thing is a would-be-client or potential client as someone who contacts the escort wondering about price, availability, location, dos and don'ts, etc.

 

I think you're overthinking this!

[marylander1940]

@Jarrod_Uncut –

Definitely going to lay out the timeline approach, with ample response time, going forward.

 

Do providers only focus on arrangements with one guy at a time?

 

Considering most of them are Millennials I'm sure they could multitasking and chatting (among other things) with multiple guys at the same time.

 

For example, if I contact a provider for tomorrow for an overnight, discuss some matters, but nothing's finalized yet – what does a provider do when another guy, let's say, contacts and asks if tomorrow evening he's available for dinner and "Netflix and chill" afterwards? Do providers keep "options open?" I ask because I'm genuinely curious. It seems to me that what you're suggesting is that a client should communicate with one provider at a time, and if that doesn't pan, move on. Do I understand that correctly?

 

Better a bird in hand... until you or the other guy make plans it's all up in the air. First come first served but once they make plans most escorts stick to them.

 

No shows do happen but sooner or later we'll have to trust both ways.

 

I've seen this guy for years, every time I make plans with him the texts me: "when will you head over?" and "text me when you leave your place!". Simple basic instructions because shit does happen, it's not the same saying I'll leave in 5 mins then saying "I just left".

 

It sounds like you approach this seriously. I think that's also part of it, which has also been indirectly addressed here. Some of the providers simply aren't serious, it would seem. Clients are thought to be flakes who reach out with no intention of meeting, but anyone can put up some pictures online and advertise services without being truly seriously committed. "Sex exchanges" you call them. I guess I'm hoping for this hobby to be a bit more than that. Perhaps I'm naive.

 

Yes @Jarrod_Uncut is someone who's been in the business for a long time because of demand, and commitment. He's also an honest poster!

 

Most clients contact a few providers depending on who is available in their city and make up their mind, some simply want someone soon, some for later.

 

I don't have to tell you, I'm sure, but more for those who immediately think that all clients are time wasters – just as clients shouldn't think if a provider doesn't immediately respond that they're making other appointments, providers shouldn't out the gate think that every potential client is a flake for asking questions or for how the questions are asked. People are different and have different approaches. Some providers are great about professional communication – fast and efficient. Some are dreadful (hence the thread). Some clients are satisfied to fuck and go, others would like a client to fulfill some fantasy and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask some questions upfront to see if there's some compatibility for that. That doesn't mean it's a waste of time – in fact, it might be the opposite. And furthermore, it saves the client money from a disappointment. Unless, of course, the client is just a human ATM for providers…whole other bag of potatoes, there.

 

Those who immediately thing most clients are time wasters should get another job. BTW one thing is a client and other thing is a would-be-client or potential client as someone who contacts the escort wondering about price, availability, location, dos and don'ts, etc.

 

I think you're overthinking this!