Profile of a Timewaster

[dbar123]

If an escort were to ask my age or ethnicity, I would not be likely to respond....and would look elsewhere. I guess I see it as a sign that the escort is unusually selective....and likely to be fussy. Not worth the potential aggravation.

[orville]

If an escort were to ask my age or ethnicity, I would not be likely to respond....and would look elsewhere. I guess I see it as a sign that the escort is unusually selective....and likely to be fussy. Not worth the potential aggravation.

Except for the picture, it's better to respond with full stats including ethnicity IF the providers ask because if it's a deal-breaker and the escort will turn me down at the door, or charge me for mediocre service, I prefer a thousand times not to meet him and save me the money and the bad experience plus time wasted. Also, my buddy told me that most prospective clients who come from the other side of the world will bargain, ask a lot of questions, and end up being full-on timewasters.

Edited August 17, 2020 by orville

[The Dude]

If a potential escort asks my stats, I move on. I'm the one who's paying not him.

[NikoLeto]

One of my regular escorts told me that after asking the client some questions like age, ethnicity, and after few message exchanges discussing specs and rate, he already knows who is a timewaster so he will stop responding not caring about the possibility of losing business because the profile is "very consistent". I told him that he might be losing business but he stood by his words. I would like to know the opinion of other working guys.

 

I have two different friends who are providers. Both of them have ethnicities/origins they consider a huge red flag. For one, they (being Latino) consider Latinos to be premier time-wasters who often haggle; the other (also Latino) has a thing against Indians, considering them difficult clients to satisfy. I don't know the origin of their take on this. The majority of my clients are white males. I have had a single very poor experience with an Indian client, but I don't think he's representative of his ethnicity - that's just silly.

 

I don't ask for any specifics from my clients when we set up a meet. Quite the opposite, I prefer to know nothing about the client going into it - it's not going to change anything anyway, and I also don't want to feel obligated to respond in kind. I don't like sending pictures of myself along the same pipeline as the details of the service I'm providing.

[NikoLeto]

In terms of asking questions, I like when a client tells me what they are looking for, so in phrasing from the client " I am into/looking for xyz..." Preferred over from the client "what are into? Are you xyz?..." I am supposed to show you a good time so it's better that I know more from what you are looking for instead of just asking what I like. Additionally, in theme of the time waster subject of this thread some inquiring clients ask negatively affirming questions or use the omission for an interest by just forgetting to mention it as a disqualification. For example, some ask if I pnp, not because they are looking for it but because if you say yes it's a deal breaker...or asking if I bottom...not because they are looking for that but because they don't want someone who is willing to bottom and really want a top...or asking what I'm into and I'll list top, bottom, kissing, oral...a d they reply back "oh I was looking for rimming too, sorry I'm gonna pass" even tho I am into rimming as long as everything is clean.

 

Keep asking questions, but don't be afraid to describe yourself out there too!

 

This kind of nonsense is infuriating. I'm happy to lay pipe all day for a willing bottom. I'm also happy to get absolutely destroyed by a good top. People who pretend like there aren't people who enjoy both topping and bottoming and/or are good at both is the height of ridiculousness. You can be good at more than one thing.

[orville]

For one, they (being Latino) consider Latinos to be premier time-wasters who often haggle;

If true, this is ironically funny. My buddy has had his share of Latin clients and says they would normally go after Latin escorts because of skills and/or chemistry.

the other (also Latino) has a thing against Indians, considering them difficult clients to satisfy. I don't know the origin of their take on this.

Match! But he generalizes even more and says "everything in Asia and surrounding areas, including countries with caucasian population". To your point, when he learns a client is of South/Asian ancestry that's already negative points in his book and he says it takes him 2 more lines or questions to determine if he's dealing with a timewaster or a serious Asian/Indian client with real intentions of hiring.

The majority of my clients are white males.

Same for him but he says old white men (one here) are more often reliable clients. If it's a young white guy he treats him as more likely a timewaster as well because they will ask for discounts on the base of being virgin/first-timers/students/good-looking. He laughs at them.

Edited August 24, 2020 by orville

[NikoLeto]

If it's a young white guy he treats him as more likely a timewaster as well because they will ask for discounts on the base of being virgin/first-timers/students/good-looking. He laughs at them.

 

OK, we found it. This is a position I absolutely have. Once I learn that the client is younger than, say, 40, I expect terrible punctuality from them, problems with money/payment, an attitude that we're totally friends now and they can just start texting me non-stop, even about completely unrelated topics. I have only had a couple of good experiences with younger clients, and I appreciate every single one of them every single time because of how much crap I've gone through with younger clients.

 

Currently dealing with money/payment drama with a younger client right now. Very ugh.

[Luv2play]

OK, we found it. This is a position I absolutely have. Once I learn that the client is younger than, say, 40, I expect terrible punctuality from them, problems with money/payment, an attitude that we're totally friends now and they can just start texting me non-stop, even about completely unrelated topics. I have only had a couple of good experiences with younger clients, and I appreciate every single one of them every single time because of how much crap I've gone through with younger clients.

 

Currently dealing with money/payment drama with a younger client right now. Very ugh.

I've been a client for many years now but before I was 40 I couldn't imagine hiring anyone for sex. There was just so much of it available, either in a one night stand or in quasi-relationships that might last months. Also I didn't have the disposable income at the time for such things as I was buying a house, car, and other things like travel. Free sex was just the icing on the cake from being young and footloose. If I could go back, I would do it all over again.

[NikoLeto]

I've been a client for many years now but before I was 40 I couldn't imagine hiring anyone for sex. There was just so much of it available, either in a one night stand or in quasi-relationships that might last months. Also I didn't have the disposable income at the time for such things as I was buying a house, car, and other things like travel. Free sex was just the icing on the cake from being young and footloose. If I could go back, I would do it all over again.

 

Haha, that is definitely another component to the red-flag nature of a young client. Even a modestly unattractive person that's on the younger end of things will still find free sex from time to time.

 

Corollary: If a young person is approaching a provider for sex, there's something keeping them from getting free sex easily. Be on the lookout for sooooome problem.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Haha, that is definitely another component to the red-flag nature of a young client. Even a modestly unattractive person that's on the younger end of things will still find free sex from time to time.

 

Corollary: If a young person is approaching a provider for sex, there's something keeping them from getting free sex easily. Be on the lookout for sooooome problem.

 

What If they approach you for something other than sex, like a fetish?

 

I started before 40 for this reason. Got tired of weirding out bfs and potential hookups.

[xyz48B]

Corollary: If a young person is approaching a provider for sex, there's something keeping them from getting free sex easily. Be on the lookout for sooooome problem.

Thanks... ?? Part of your under-40 cohort

[NikoLeto]

What If they approach you for something other than sex, like a fetish?

 

I started before 40 for this reason. Got tired of weirding out bfs and potential hookups.

 

People coming to me for fetish work is usually a 'calming' factor for me. Those clients know what they want, or, at the very least, are very sure of the direction they want things to go. Maybe they haven't even been tied up before, that's fine, they still know that the idea of being tied up excites them. They like the look of ropes and how they press against they skin (as opposed to some other type of restraint, like metal, handcuffs, etc.).

 

The more concrete a vision the client has, the less concerned I am with them wasting my time; the more serious they sound right off the bat.

[NikoLeto]

Thanks... ?? Part of your under-40 cohort

 

I didn't make the unreliable under-40 clients, I just recognized a pattern. ??

[Luv2play]

What If they approach you for something other than sex, like a fetish?

 

I started before 40 for this reason. Got tired of weirding out bfs and potential hookups.

It was actually one of my pickups at a local gay bar back in the '70s who was maybe 5 years younger than me who introduced me into the pleasures of watersports.

[Islesguy]

OK, we found it. This is a position I absolutely have. Once I learn that the client is younger than, say, 40, I expect terrible punctuality from them, problems with money/payment, an attitude that we're totally friends now and they can just start texting me non-stop, even about completely unrelated topics. I have only had a couple of good experiences with younger clients, and I appreciate every single one of them every single time because of how much crap I've gone through with younger clients.

 

Currently dealing with money/payment drama with a younger client right now. Very ugh.

I am under 40 and do none of those things. In fact, there is nothing more important to me than punctuality. I may be paying but my time is just as valuable as theirs. I hate when people generalize about people under 40 having no sense of time.

[orville]

I am under 40 and do none of those things. In fact, there is nothing more important to me than punctuality. I may be paying but my time is just as valuable as theirs. I hate when people generalize about people under 40 having no sense of time.

I don't care much about punctuality as long as they give me the amount of time I paid for, or a bit more.

I think the timing issue being addressed regarding timewasters is not punctuality but no-shows.

[xyz48B]

Aside – generalizations are helpful to an extent. But just like we can’t make blanket statements that “All guys 70 years old or more are reliable.” we can say that “All guys 40 years old or younger are timewasters.”

 

Interesting question – If a guy who’s 70 years old ends up being unreliable, does he color the opinion of escorts for all older men, or is he just an anomaly? Because one younger guy seems able to influence an escort’s opinion about all younger guys.

Edited August 21, 2020 by xyz48B

[+ keroscenefire]

I didn't make the unreliable under-40 clients, I just recognized a pattern. ??

 

I'm under-40 as well so sorry that us millennial clients are giving you a hard time. I have been good 80 percent of the time. My only problem is when I am traveling to a new city and put out feelers on like 5-6 guys that caught my attention when I only have the intention of seeing like 1-2 max. Often most of them clearly don't work out, but I feel bad when like there are 3 great guys and I have to choose. I am trying to do more research before contacting though...I know it sucks when your time gets wasted like that. I will say that when I definitively say I am going to meet with someone at a specific time/place I have always done so.

Edited August 21, 2020 by keroscenefire

[marylander1940]

I've been a client for many years now but before I was 40 I couldn't imagine hiring anyone for sex. There was just so much of it available, either in a one night stand or in quasi-relationships that might last months. Also I didn't have the disposable income at the time for such things as I was buying a house, car, and other things like travel. Free sex was just the icing on the cake from being young and footloose. If I could go back, I would do it all over again.

 

Ditto!

 

I only started hiring when I was in my late 40's. Btw many guys on here claim they started hiring when they were young and we have some young frequent posters too.

 

What If they approach you for something other than sex, like a fetish?

 

I started before 40 for this reason. Got tired of weirding out bfs and potential hookups.

 

You're not alone, Grindr fatigue is here to stay. More and more young guys are now hiring. Besides now they can pay with a CC and our culture of debt makes it easier for someone to "treat" himself if he doesn't have to pay cash.

 

Back to subject there's no way to know who is a timewaster or not till he actually shows up. First impressions could be wrong, specially by text, sometimes endless texters make plans and others don't.

Edited August 21, 2020 by marylander1940

[xyz48B]

I'm under-40 as well so sorry that us millennial clients are giving you a hard time. I have been good 80 percent of the time. My only problem is when I am traveling to a new city and put out feelers on like 5-6 guys that caught my attention when I only have the intention of seeing like 1-2 max. Often most of them clearly don't work out, but I feel bad when like there are 3 great guys and I have to choose. I am trying to do more research before contacting though...I know it sucks when your time gets wasted like that. I will say that when I definitively say I am going to meet with someone at a specific time/place I have always done so, though.

Going to roll out the plumber analogy again...

 

It’s not unheard of to call up various plumbers and get a quote. Some might also not handle the problems you need addressing. When you finally decide on a plumber, you set the date and go with it. Plumbers recognize that not everyone calling them up is necessarily going to hire them. They also don’t think people who call and ask questions are timewasters for doing that.

 

A similar situation could apply to escorts and clients. I don’t see why it’s so unacceptable to contact a few providers to see what their rates are and if they’re compatible. Asking such questions, which will take some back-and-forth and an investment of time on the part of the escort, is not unmerited. And it doesn’t mean such clients are timewasters.

 

I wonder...if you’re looking for an hour, you might not care as much how compatible you are with an escort. But when I’m hiring for multiple days and a BFE experience, the questions become important. They’re not a waste of time then. So if an escort is going to list “boyfriend experience” on what he’s offering but doesn’t want to engage questions about what that entails pre-meetup, is he *really* interested in providing a BFE?

[+ keroscenefire]

 

I wonder...if you’re looking for an hour, you might not care as much how compatible you are with an escort. But when I’m hiring for multiple days and a BFE experience, the questions become important. They’re not a waste of time then. So if an escort is going to list “boyfriend experience” on what he’s offering but doesn’t want to engage questions about what that entails pre-meetup, is he *really* interested in providing a BFE?

 

100 percent. And actually the BFE is what I am often after. I've had a lot of good times going to a new city and meeting a guy for an extended session where we maybe grab dinner or a drink after. Especially if I don't know anyone in the city It's nice to have a conversation..so yeah I definitely gauge compatibility/interest in that. But also I am sometimes after something a bit more kinky and that kinda needs to be looked at as well. It also comes down to budget. I can maybe spend $500-600 max for hiring per trip. That could mean one escort for a longer session or two escorts for shorter sessions but almost never more than 2.

 

And it has also happened that I have specifically set up meetings with escorts and they are the ones that have cancelled on me. It just happened in my latest trip to LA. Twice actually, both great professional guys. One had a sudden illness and the other apparently had to move suddenly. So I ended up having to scramble and find someone else last minute. It sometimes pays to have that third guy you are thinking about to keep in the back pocket in case something happens. And I'll be honest about it. I've definitely said in a text: "I'm so sorry, but I've made an appointment with another guy. If I end up having to change my plans, I will definitely try to set something up when I'm in town." And lo and behold, they were the one I ended up meeting...haha.

[xyz48B]

And I'll be honest about it. I've definitely said in a text: "I'm so sorry, but I've made an appointment with another guy. If I end up having to change my plans, I will definitely try to set something up when I'm in town." And lo and behold, they were the one I ended up meeting...haha.

I feel like that’s the reasonable, adult thing to do. I’d also expect an escort to the same with me if that’s in fact what happened. I’m not pissed if in the course of planning a meeting with him someone beat me to it. That’s how the cookie crumbles. As for getting sick – I had to reschedule a weekend by a week because I got the stomach bug. The escort was perfectly fine moving things a week. I feel like communication is key in those moments, but if an escort feels communicating is beneath them if they’re not comped for it, that makes the experience that much more anxiety-producing and unlikely to be pleasant all around.

 

I’m not saying it’s illegitimate, but who has a last minute unforeseen need to move? That one makes me suspicious but I’m not saying it’s not real. Just that it seems very strange...

[NikoLeto]

Going to roll out the plumber analogy again...

 

It’s not unheard of to call up various plumbers and get a quote. Some might also not handle the problems you need addressing. When you finally decide on a plumber, you set the date and go with it. Plumbers recognize that not everyone calling them up is necessarily going to hire them. They also don’t think people who call and ask questions are timewasters for doing that.

 

A similar situation could apply to escorts and clients. I don’t see why it’s so unacceptable to contact a few providers to see what their rates are and if they’re compatible. Asking such questions, which will take some back-and-forth and an investment of time on the part of the escort, is not unmerited. And it doesn’t mean such clients are timewasters.

 

I wonder...if you’re looking for an hour, you might not care as much how compatible you are with an escort. But when I’m hiring for multiple days and a BFE experience, the questions become important. They’re not a waste of time then. So if an escort is going to list “boyfriend experience” on what he’s offering but doesn’t want to engage questions about what that entails pre-meetup, is he *really* interested in providing a BFE?

 

I think my definition of a time-waster does not align with other people's. If someone is approaching me for a service, I recognize that there's no guarantee that they're going to hire me. Up until "the fun part" of the meeting begins, I don't have any expectation of being paid for my time. Someone could feel unwell, have a bad reaction to food or drugs, a minor emergency could come up, whatever. There's a billion reasons that a person could genuinely want to book with me, set up a time and fail to meet.

 

It's the people who have no intention of ever meeting that are time-wasters to me. One of the friends I mentioned earlier in this thread is hounded by this fellow that will use different numbers to reach out to him and he sets up appointments and has never met once, and since he wants my friend to bottom, my friend is making those preparations and is understandably incensed when this guy falls silent. [edit: my friend and I have come to the conclusion that this guy just gets off on the idea of my friend preparing to bottom - if anybody else has any explanations, I'm all ears]

 

If you reach out to me and you're reaching out to a bunch of people at the same time and I'm the last one to return your message, I completely understand if you don't end up hiring me. I'm still happy to carry on a conversation with you, because like most living, breathing humans, I'm going to continue to exist in this city that you're visiting (and are likely to visit again). Maybe you'll hire me in the future. Maybe you won't. But if I'm rude, or cut you off for "wasting my time", you definitely won't.

 

Besides, why not just be nice? It's just as hard as being rude only fewer people are angry at you at the end of the day.

[xyz48B]

Besides, why not just be nice?

There’s so much meanness in the world as is. I echo this a million times. In fact, your whole post.

 

People are so fucked up. The wasting time to prep only to be a no-show, the hounding via different numbers...that’s harassment. Craziness...

[+ keroscenefire]

 

If you reach out to me and you're reaching out to a bunch of people at the same time and I'm the last one to return your message, I completely understand if you don't end up hiring me. I'm still happy to carry on a conversation with you, because like most living, breathing humans, I'm going to continue to exist in this city that you're visiting (and are likely to visit again). Maybe you'll hire me in the future. Maybe you won't. But if I'm rude, or cut you off for "wasting my time", you definitely won't.

 

Besides, why not just be nice? It's just as hard as being rude only fewer people are angry at you at the end of the day.

 

Thanks so much for this. And I would say 90 percent of escorts completely have this same reaction: "Sorry it didn't work out but text me again if you're ever back in town." And truly I do keep that in mind in case I return to that city or they end up visiting mine. But the 10 percent of the guys who are rude...never bother with them again. I think if everyone is kind to each other it just makes everything better and often leads to that potential hire next time around anyway.