Do you think callers recognize that we aren’t “on” 24/7?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I say this because lately, I been feeling like there’s this unspoken expectation. The expectation being that we as men of the evening are “available” and in the mood at all times. Ready to chat by phone, ready to talk dirty by texts, ready to drop what we’re doing and dash out the door for some much needed cash. As much as I’m honored that my ad gains attention, there’s another side to it.

 

I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fantasy, but truth of the matter is...one never knows what’s going on behind the scenes in a sex worker’s life. And I know it’s not necessary to explain it to a prospective client, but the other night I had to sharply let someone know: we have a life too.

 

What gets me are guys who get frustrated because I have to move the times around, and they say, “well if you can’t be here by X time, let’s just cancel” or “you moved the times twice already, etc”. Yet I want to tell them, before today...or yesterday or whenever you messaged me, I had NO IDEA this meeting was ever going to take place. There was a whole life happening, before they contacted me. I have also usually have no idea of their schedules either. I know communication is key, but most of the times, setting up an appointment involves just the necessary essentials.

 

Even though I try to predict when a client may contact (sometimes I try to leave evenings free, but then I may get calls first thing in morning or mid afternoon), but Sod’s law has it, it doesn’t work that way. I rarely ever get appointments when I’m “ready” to take them, I usually get them when it’s least expected...which involves some compromising on my end. It can be hard to switch gears from one frame of mind to another, in a short amount of time.

 

How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone? Someone called me while we were texting today, and I just straight up said I can’t chat, I’m the middle of something right now. Which I was, and I was not willing to chat about something that I was perfectly fine discussing by text.

[sincitymix]

I say this because lately, I been feeling like there’s this unspoken expectation. The expectation being that we as men of the evening are “available” and in the mood at all times. Ready to chat by phone, ready to talk dirty by texts, ready to drop what we’re doing and dash out the door for some much needed cash. As much as I’m honored that my ad gains attention, there’s another side to it.

 

I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fantasy, but truth of the matter is...one never knows what’s going on behind the scenes in a sex worker’s life. And I know it’s not necessary to explain it to a prospective client, but the other night I had to sharply let someone know: we have a life too.

 

What gets me are guys who get frustrated because I have to move the times around, and they say, “well if you can’t be here by X time, let’s just cancel” or “you moved the times twice already, etc”. Yet I want to tell them, before today...or yesterday or whenever you messaged me, I had NO IDEA this meeting was ever going to take place. There was a whole life happening, before they contacted me. I have also usually have no idea of their schedules either. I know communication is key, but most of the times, setting up an appointment involves just the necessary essentials.

 

Even though I try to predict when a client may contact (sometimes I try to leave evenings free, but then I may get calls first thing in morning or mid afternoon), but Sod’s law has it, it doesn’t work that way. I rarely ever get appointments when I’m “ready” to take them, I usually get them when it’s least expected...which involves some compromising on my end. It can be hard to switch gears from one frame of mind to another, in a short amount of time.

 

How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone? Someone called me while we were texting today, and I just straight up said I can’t chat, I’m the middle of something right now. Which I was, and I was not willing to chat about something that I was perfectly fine discussing by text.

I say this because lately, I been feeling like there’s this unspoken expectation. The expectation being that we as men of the evening are “available” and in the mood at all times. Ready to chat by phone, ready to talk dirty by texts, ready to drop what we’re doing and dash out the door for some much needed cash. As much as I’m honored that my ad gains attention, there’s another side to it.

 

I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fantasy, but truth of the matter is...one never knows what’s going on behind the scenes in a sex worker’s life. And I know it’s not necessary to explain it to a prospective client, but the other night I had to sharply let someone know: we have a life too.

 

What gets me are guys who get frustrated because I have to move the times around, and they say, “well if you can’t be here by X time, let’s just cancel” or “you moved the times twice already, etc”. Yet I want to tell them, before today...or yesterday or whenever you messaged me, I had NO IDEA this meeting was ever going to take place. There was a whole life happening, before they contacted me. I have also usually have no idea of their schedules either. I know communication is key, but most of the times, setting up an appointment involves just the necessary essentials.

 

Even though I try to predict when a client may contact (sometimes I try to leave evenings free, but then I may get calls first thing in morning or mid afternoon), but Sod’s law has it, it doesn’t work that way. I rarely ever get appointments when I’m “ready” to take them, I usually get them when it’s least expected...which involves some compromising on my end. It can be hard to switch gears from one frame of mind to another, in a short amount of time.

 

How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone? Someone called me while we were texting today, and I just straight up said I can’t chat, I’m the middle of something right now. Which I was, and I was not willing to chat about something that I was perfectly fine discussing by text.

 

everything i was going to type, or typed out came out sounding really really bitchy..

so ill leave it at: Just let the client know you don't take same day appointments or advanced notice is required.

[sbguy]

Any reasonable, respectful and non-psychotic person will recognize that you’re not a 911 emergency operator manning the phones 24/7 in order to respond to any sex emergency in 30 minutes or less. I think perhaps people get so caught up with the fantasy or excitement, that they forget that an escort is also human being with schedules, commitments, bills to pay, dishes to clean, and who live an actual human life.

 

To answer your question, it’s okay to tell them you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you can see them. I think many times clients are suddenly horny as hell and need it now or ASAP. But I think for any reasonable and respectful client who is thinking clearly with their (upper) head, if they are sincerely interested in seeing you, they will work with your availability and commit to booking a day/time in advance to see you.

[+ sync]

A big part of it is that today's society, as a whole, has evolved into a craving for the instant gratification of just about everything.

[xyz48B]

Totally understand a provider has a life. I hope they do. The same thing happens with my friends etc. in real life. They say they’ll follow up later – and they do. That’s often where the difference is for me in catching a provider at bad time. They say they’ll follow up but never do.

 

Or worse – they act like they’re time planning with me is a waste. Some providers are interested in getting to know you via text beforehand. That’s great. Some, not at all. Also acceptable. But a certain level of followthrough before setting up an appointment is required to actually set up the appointment. If the provide acts like he’s doing me some huge favor by even responding to my messages, or lectures me on how to communicate with him, I just move on. I don’t need that. He provides a service I’m paying for and if he doesn’t want to be polite, I can find another provider.

[bigjsd]

How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone?

 

I think you just tell them that -- if that rubs them the wrong way...so be it.

 

Only thing that irks me is this kind of deal -- I talk to a provider about schedule sometime tomorrow between 8am and noon and agree to touch base early in the morning. I text at 730 or so and they don't reply until after noon, when it is too late to schedule a different provider that works with my schedule.

 

If that's the worst thing that happens to me on any given day, I'm doing okay.

[xyz48B]

I think you just tell them that -- if that rubs them the wrong way...so be it.

 

Only thing that irks me is this kind of deal -- I talk to a provider about schedule sometime tomorrow between 8am and noon and agree to touch base early in the morning. I text at 730 or so and they don't reply until after noon, when it is too late to schedule a different provider that works with my schedule.

 

If that's the worst thing that happens to me on any given day, I'm doing okay.

 

My experience has been the more professional types totally accommodate that. And they also tend to be better providers too.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I text at 730 or so and they don't reply until after noon, when it is too late to schedule a different provider that works with my schedule.

 

I’ve been on that side of the spectrum as well. Not necessarily from clients, but prospective fuck buddies as well. And yes that’s annoying and disrespectful. I currently have a prospective fuck buddy who’s been doing that the past 2 or 3 times we’ve tried to meet, and even though I’m being understanding...After the last time I just about gave up, because he texts me at 10 am, then doesn’t respond to my messages until damn near 1 am, the next day. And I was really trying to coordinate things, and because he didn’t respond, I lost motivation. I’m going to give him another chance, but only because most our plans have been tentative.

 

It’s a difference between having a life, and having a DOUBLE life. And a mofo who takes 12 hours to reply to a text, is living the latter.

 

If the provide acts like he’s doing me some huge favor by even responding to my messages, or lectures me on how to communicate with him, I just move on. I don’t need that. He provides a service I’m paying for and if he doesn’t want to be polite, I can find another provider.

 

That’s understandable. And that’s why I said, I don’t want to lecture or explain why I have a life. Once we meet, I usually find clients are pretty cool talking about real life stuff, but beforehand I know it can sound dramatic, so I try to not bring up too much. I’m not looking for sympathy, but boundaries and understanding.

 

For example. Couple months ago, clients kept wanting to meet the week I was in the hospital for 5 days, and I had to keep finding excuses that I couldn’t meet. I enjoyed being able to communicate from my hospital bed, but in some ways I could sense them wanting to meet ASAP, and in my mind, I was like...if only they knew.

 

But of course that would be unnecessary information, and with COVID 19 coming into play at the time, last thing I wanted to do was mention anything about hospital (aka contagious). So I would just say I was busy for a few days, and check with me next week. Once we met, I did tell them why I couldn’t meet...but that I wasn’t diagnosed with Corona.

[Ryan Roman]

If they're willing to give me a few hours advanced notice, I don't mind same day requests. The inquiries that expect to meet in < 2 hours are much more difficult to accommodate, and often I'll have to say no to those last minute requests.