Is escorting likely to mess you up if you're not ready for the job? Are you already messed up?

[Monarchy79]

It’s also quite hypocritical that so many people judge those in the sex business, yet at the same time, so desperately need them.

[orville]

Any profession can “mess you up”, if you are not mentally prepared for all of the conditions of the job.

 

Right now, we have nurses and doctors who are struggling with severe anxiety, depression, and other stressors from the extreme daily sickness and deaths they are encountering, due to COVID-19

 

Many defense attorneys deal with emotional trauma and issues from defending known criminals.

 

Heck, any worker in your typical corporate setting will tell you that the Machiavellian practices needed to survive and thrive in competition with a bunch of underhanded snakes will send anyone to drugs and drinking. Why do you think that either happy hours or yoga classes are jam packed after 5pm, M-F?

 

The stereotype of the professional sex worker being desperate and “damaged” couldn’t be anything farther from the truth. Of course, there are outliers, but for the most part, being in any line of work, where you don’t have a boss, can pack up and travel to any destination of your choice (without submitting a leave request), can receive immediate gifts and bonuses, and wake up whenever the hell you want, doesn’t sound to bad too me.

Good point but it could appear as off-topic and missing the "if you are not ready for the job" part of the question. I think that most guys can get in, stay, or get out of the profession without harm. But if they are not mature / educated enough, they could end up making bad decisions.

[Monarchy79]

Good point but it could appear as off-topic and missing the "if you are not ready for the job" part of the question. I think that most guys can get in, stay, or get out of the profession without harm. But if they are not mature / educated enough, they could end up making bad decisions.

 

I respectfully and partially disagree.

Definitely not off topic, as people get into many professions and their level of maturity significantly impacts their “survival”.

[orville]

What's always fascinating about 'Ask An Escort' is that while the questions should be for working guys to answer, it's really just an echo chamber of others wanting to validate (and revalidate) their own opinions.

 

 

Oh... And @orville, please, nix the term 'young boys' in future posts. It's just not a smart idea.

OMG! I got @Benjamin_Nicholas attention! So honoured to be addressed by this "famous blogger"!

Please accept my apologies, I didn't know we had to ask for your permission to express ourselves in this forum.

Lol, don't be delusional and don't correct others' way of writing. It's just not a smart or educated idea.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

OMG! I got @Benjamin_Nicholas attention! So honoured to be addressed by this "famous blogger"!

Please accept my apologies, I didn't know we had to ask for your permission to express ourselves in this forum.

Lol, don't be delusional and don't correct others' way of writing. It's just not a smart or educated idea.

 

It's always fun when a poster's reply says more about them than the person they're addressing.

 

You don't have to take my advice, but with management here, it might suit you well to tread lightly. This place doesn't need any unnecessary attention from third parties and you certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of any problems.

 

Also, I'm honored you're honoured.

 

 

Welcome to the board ?

Edited May 4, 2020 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[orville]

It's always fun when a poster's reply says more about them than the person they're addressing.

 

You don't have to take my advice, but with management here, it might suit you well to tread lightly. This place doesn't need any unnecessary attention from third parties and you certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of any problems.

 

Also, I'm honored you're honored.

 

 

Welcome to the board ?

I didn't write anything with bad intention. I won't take your advice, keep it to yourself. Thanks.

Edited May 4, 2020 by orville

[marylander1940]

It’s also quite hypocritical that so many people judge those in the sex business, yet at the same time, so desperately need them.

 

Exactly, plenty of guys on this site referring to escorts in a diminishing way.

[marylander1940]

What's always fascinating about 'Ask An Escort' is that while the questions should be for working guys to answer, it's really just an echo chamber of others wanting to validate (and revalidate) their own opinions.

 

No doubt, this isn't the first time that @Gymowner uses vulgar language to refer to escorts and I felt like moving his posts and asking the question on here in order not to hijack another thread in the Deli.

 

Oh... And @orville, please, nix the term 'young boys' in future posts. It's just not a smart idea.

 

I didn't write anything with bad intention. I won't take your advice, keep it to yourself. Thanks.

 

We don't talk about minors on here for the obvious reason.

Edited May 4, 2020 by marylander1940

[orville]

We don't talk about minors on here for the obvious reason.

Which I never did, thanks.

[Walker1]

People marry others for money or power or fame . I doubt Meghan Markle would have married Prince Harry, if he were a balding ginger bus driver living in a trailer park with not a cent to his name and with trailer park relatives. People work in jobs for years or decades that they hate and spend the majority of their day there. I don't see how a few hours of sex with people you may or may not like is any more or less than the choices most of us make and live with every day. Plenty of non sex workers who are damaged too.

[Monarchy79]

Exactly, plenty of guys on this site referring to escorts in a diminishing way.

Exactly.

 

Yet no one likes the shoe, when it’s on the other foot.

 

One minute, some of these guys are elitist jerks, and have suddenly hopped on a “high horse”, of their selective sense of morality and class.

 

But the moment that the ever-so-judged masseur/escort/sex-professional takes the upper hand, and turns away a client, or shows any form of being discriminate, and decides how their MILEAGE varies, these guys are suddenly humbled, and then cry and whine, accusing sex-professionals of being arrogant, and judgmental, which they projected from their own behaviors.

 

At the end of the day, sex is power, and the escort has the sex, and therefore has the power. And as long as sex exists, it will always be needed.

 

Many current, past, and potential clients think that their money is power. Well, test this by threatening an escort that you’ll never see him again, and he will laugh you to the door (to your exit) and think nothing of you again. There’s another potential waiting to take your slot. lol

[Monarchy79]

In many of our careers, we’re all getting “pimped”, and “screwed”. So in some way, we are all sex workers.

 

At the end of the day, the world’s biggest pimp, wears a flashy red, white and blue satin suit, a top hat, has a long beard, and a cane.

He roams the streets, day and night, collecting all his money from his hoes.

 

His name is UNCLE SAM.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

In many of our careers, we’re all getting “pimped”, and “screwed”. So in some way, we are all sex workers.

 

At the end of the day, the world’s biggest pimp, wears a flashy red, white and blue satin suit, a top hat, has a long beard, and a cane.

He roams the streets, day and night, collecting all his money from his hoes.

 

His name is UNCLE SAM.

 

Was I the only person reading this and singing it showtune-style in my head?

[jjkrkwood]

[uSER=4070]

 

Pussy is a way to refer to women NOT men and most gay men would never use it as a way to refer to chasing sex.

 

Sorry but "pussy" is spoken by presumbably GAY men in GAY porn all the time, so it IS a word freely associated with gay culture. I suppose its a certain "type" of gay man that uses the word, yet it is used frequently enough by the group to make it "commonplace". I NEVER liked REAL pussy and dont like the word being used by GAY men. If a man ever used the word with me during sex, it was a turn-OFF.....[/uSER]

[marylander1940]

People marry others for money or power or fame . I doubt Meghan Markle would have married Prince Harry, if he were a balding ginger bus driver living in a trailer park with not a cent to his name and with trailer park relatives.

 

 

People work in jobs for years or decades that they hate and spend the majority of their day there. I don't see how a few hours of sex with people you may or may not like is any more or less than the choices most of us make and live with every day. Plenty of non sex workers who are damaged too.

 

Certainly but some folks doing jobs they don’t like might get affected more than others. Going off subject I know so many who retired with absolutely nothing... that puts a lot of pressure in their lives specially now in such a competitive market.

[Quincy_7]

I've seen over 20 escorts since I started hiring four years ago and only two had recognizable "issues". The first was a cutter and the second you could just sense there was something off about him. He died a year or two after we met and I wouldn't be surprised if it was suicide or an overdose.

 

In contrast, the vast majority of escorts I've seen are guys with their act together who just simply like the money and attention they get from clients. A number of them travel internationally throughout the year and have instagram accounts with large followings, and enjoy the lifestyle that escorting allows them to afford. These are not guys who are "messed up in the head," quite the opposite.

[Dginnz]

Obviously, there are people who fulfill the stereotype of the "fucked up" sex worker, and there are others that do not. I think both sides are trying to make this black and white.

 

I think there is a large plurality of male providers who are straight. I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually the majority. We can get into what defines someone as "straight" or not, but that's probably a different topic. Point is, having to do gay "stuff" with someone you don't want will have an impact on you in the same way having to do something at your job for a living that you don't want to do would have an impact.

 

I'm not an old "grandpa." I'm under 30 and have paid for providers since I was about 21 for a variety of reasons (one being how intimidating and downright mean younger gays can be). Providers are usually surprised by my age and build and oftentimes joke that they thought I would be "an old white guy." That leads me to believe many clients are indeed "old white guys." They don't say it as a bad thing necessarily, but to be honest, in our society, older white men are those that tend to have the disposable income to pay for services.

 

As far as mental health for providers, I've met many different kinds. If I were to pull a description out of a hat though of a hustler I've met I would say generally he:

• Is straight, but wouldn't mind topping necessarily (not without viagra)
  
• Has a lot of restrictions
  
• Does not have a lot of prospects
  
• Needs quick money like NOW
  
• Uses drugs of some kind. Not hard drugs, but likely some sort of medication for something, which generally compounds their predicament because pills are expensive but they need it in part to "chill out" after having to come to the realization that at the end of the day, they're allowing nameless men to play with them by the hour.
  

I have nothing against providers. I used to be one lol. There are some who you can go all the way with, others with lots of hangups, still more who need to numb the pain of their life choices, and others who might just be your soulmates.

 

Someone upthread also tried to delineate between hustlers, rentboys, prostitutes, sex workers, and providers. I think that's absolutely necessary.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Obviously, there are people who fulfill the stereotype of the "fucked up" sex worker, and there are others that do not. I think both sides are trying to make this black and white.

 

I think there is a large plurality of male providers who are straight. I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually the majority. We can get into what defines someone as "straight" or not, but that's probably a different topic. Point is, having to do gay "stuff" with someone you don't want will have an impact on you in the same way having to do something at your job for a living that you don't want to do would have an impact.

 

I'm not an old "grandpa." I'm under 30 and have paid for providers since I was about 21 for a variety of reasons (one being how intimidating and downright mean younger gays can be). Providers are usually surprised by my age and build and oftentimes joke that they thought I would be "an old white guy." That leads me to believe many clients are indeed "old white guys." They don't say it as a bad thing necessarily, but to be honest, in our society, older white men are those that tend to have the disposable income to pay for services.

 

As far as mental health for providers, I've met many different kinds. If I were to pull a description out of a hat though of a hustler I've met I would say generally he:

• Is straight, but wouldn't mind topping necessarily (not without viagra)
  
• Has a lot of restrictions
  
• Does not have a lot of prospects
  
• Needs quick money like NOW
  
• Uses drugs of some kind. Not hard drugs, but likely some sort of medication for something, which generally compounds their predicament because pills are expensive but they need it in part to "chill out" after having to come to the realization that at the end of the day, they're allowing nameless men to play with them by the hour.
  

I have nothing against providers. I used to be one lol. There are some who you can go all the way with, others with lots of hangups, still more who need to numb the pain of their life choices, and others who might just be your soulmates.

 

Someone upthread also tried to delineate between hustlers, rentboys, prostitutes, sex workers, and providers. I think that's absolutely necessary.

 

Good word ??

 

But I think at the end of the day, this isn’t simply a provider, or male escort issue. I think it’s a GENERAL gay issue as well. All the stuff about meth and taking advantage of, exists in the gay community beyond escorting. Escorting is simply an activity within the lifestyle.

 

Like I’ve said before, spend any significant time in a gay bar or gayborhood, and “messed up” men are nothing out of the ordinary. And that’s not picking on or putting down anyone, it’s just how the gay lifestyle is.

 

Last Sunday I was out and about (albeit in the White suburban area of the Midwest), and when I look around, there’s no gay couples. All you see is family and married guys. I see guys I’m attracted to, before I know it their wife and kid runs up to them (which doesn’t mean we can’t fuck, but still...). I don’t see anyone I can relate to.

 

THAT, fucking messes me up. Me going out and making $300 to fuck, doesn’t mess me up. Dealing with other gay guys, is what messes me up. Despite the many progressions that gays have made over the years, fact of the matter is, it’s still hard for many. There’s still not enough acceptance from straight people, and many gay guys are still not treating one other with VALUE. When it does, it doesn’t come easily. And I’ve known guys who’s only reason for popularity is because they had very good drug connections.