Any questions to avoid asking a provider?

[Yeahman]

I find it very hot to learn about guys’ first sex experiences with men or women. But not sure if such questions will offend the provider. Any thought?

[big-n-tall]

I find it very hot to learn about guys’ first sex experiences with men or women. But not sure if such questions will offend the provider. Any thought?

 

If it's someone you just met, I wouldn't ask. Sure there are escorts who are an open book and will answer almost anything you ask of them. However, I think this question from someone you don't know is rather intrusive.

 

If you have seen the provider a number of times and you are at a point that he may share personal things with you, that's when it's probably ok to ask.

[Smurof]

Take whatever you're told with a grain of salt. Since you're asking about it, was your first time worth sharing? My first was a MMF (two males, one female), which was probably highly unusual for a first sexual experience. PM for deets!

[+ OliverSaks]

Sometimes a person’s first experience could be a non-consensual or predatory type of experience, so just be prepared that this question can put someone in a slightly weird or bad headspace. Even asking the question like “what was your first consensual or first good sex experience?” is thoughtful and intentional and caring and can go a long way in helping keep things in a better frame of mind. It’s subtle but something I try to be mindful of

[Yeahman]

Sometimes a person’s first experience could be a non-consensual or predatory type of experience, so just be prepared that this question can put someone in a slightly weird or bad headspace. Even asking the question like “what was your first consensual or first good sex experience?” is thoughtful and intentional and caring and can go a long way in helping keep things in a better frame of mind. It’s subtle but something I try to be mindful of

 

That’s a great insight. I have never thought about this. Anyone who had non-consensual sex here?

[Rudynate]

I find it very hot to learn about guys’ first sex experiences with men or women. But not sure if such questions will offend the provider. Any thought?[/QUOTe]

 

 

Not the sort of thing you would ask a total stranger.

[LivingnLA]

That’s a great insight. I have never thought about this. Anyone who had non-consensual sex here?

 

Yes. I've been raped, but I'm lucky in that I was drugged. Fortunately, I didn't die and I don't remember details. Just the beginning and the aftermath after roughly 7 blacked out hours. Why do you ask?

[CuriousByNature]

Yes. I've been raped, but I'm lucky in that I was drugged. Fortunately, I didn't die and I don't remember details. Just the beginning and the aftermath after roughly 7 blacked out hours. Why do you ask?

Sorry this happened to you...

[Yeahman]

Yes. I've been raped, but I'm lucky in that I was drugged. Fortunately, I didn't die and I don't remember details. Just the beginning and the aftermath after roughly 7 blacked out hours. Why do you ask?

 

Sorry to hear that. I was narrow-minded enough to have only thought about non-consensual sex as a predator instead of a victim. So I didn’t really expect a response (Who would expose himself as a criminal predator?). But this thread did open up my eyes.

[LivingnLA]

Sorry to hear that. I was narrow-minded enough to have only thought about non-consensual sex as a predator instead of a victim. So I didn’t really expect a response (Who would expose himself as a criminal predator?). But this thread did open up my eyes.

 

Just like coming out opened many eyes to the reality of LGBTQA people, I hope we reach a day when people who've been sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, or raped are able to speak up and be believed. They're much more common than many people realize. I am glad your eyes are open now.

[marylander1940]

If it's someone you just met, I wouldn't ask. Sure there are escorts who are an open book and will answer almost anything you ask of them. However, I think this question from someone you don't know is rather intrusive.

 

If you have seen the provider a number of times and you are at a point that he may share personal things with you, that's when it's probably ok to ask.

 

Considering "having met" according to the OP @Yeahman means someone you've hired... I'm sure there's enough intimacy to ask questions of sexual nature in the afterglow.

[marylander1940]

Just like coming out opened many eyes to the reality of LGBTQA people, I hope we reach a day when people who've been sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, or raped are able to speak up and be believed. They're much more common than many people realize. I am glad your eyes are open now.

 

I've posted many threads about rape, and I've always believed survivors. Other posters have shared their own experience on here and I'm glad you're brave to do it too.

[LivingnLA]

I've posted many threads about rape, and I've always believed survivors. Other posters have shared their own experience on here and I'm glad you're brave to do it too.

 

Thanks. It was part of what drove me to join the forum. I believe our species is best and strongest together so I found a community where I could contribute and process and grow forward.

[Chad Constantine]

Though probably highly unusual for others I have always asked and said the first thing that comes to my mind. You'll either get a positive or negative response but at least then you can stop thinking about it and move on to anything else you are curious about.