Asking vs Describing

[MrMattBig]

I often get asked "what are you into".

For me this question is awkward to answer, because I am literally into almost everything.

I find most that ask this question are into/looking for relatively vanilla things (kissing, sucking rimming mutual touch).

I find it interesting that people who contact me, whether clients or regular hookup opportunities, very rarely describe what they like first.

Is there a reason to this?

How many here describe what they like first or find themselves asking the other first?

What answers are you expecting in return?

[Islesguy]

I always say what I want both in and out of bed depending on the session length in my initial message. As for a reply, a simple "that works for me" is good enough.

[+ Keith30309]

I point prospective companions to my profile, which describes in detail what is important to me, and ask if we are a good match.

Once I am with someone and if things are moving slowly I do sometimes ask if there is anything they particularly enjoy in order to jump-start things.

[+ Keith30309]

I point prospective companions to my profile, which describes in detail what is important to me, and ask if we are a good match.

Once I am with someone and if things are moving slowly I do sometimes ask if there is anything they particularly enjoy in order to jump-start things.

[prof]

If I want to try for a chuckle, I'll answer, "Raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens..."

[prof]

If I want to try for a chuckle, I'll answer, "Raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens..."

[marylander1940]

I often get asked "what are you into".

For me this question is awkward to answer, because I am literally into almost everything.

I find most that ask this question are into/looking for relatively vanilla things (kissing, sucking rimming mutual touch).

I find it interesting that people who contact me, whether clients or regular hookup opportunities, very rarely describe what they like first.

Is there a reason to this?

How many here describe what they like first or find themselves asking the other first?

What answers are you expecting in return?

 

I think clients want to know if you're more top or bottom with that question.

 

I know about an escort who used to answer "I'm into everything clean, safe and fun", some guys would hang up on him... Later on he changed his response.

 

For the record this was before PrEP when using a condom was mandatory.

[marylander1940]

I often get asked "what are you into".

For me this question is awkward to answer, because I am literally into almost everything.

I find most that ask this question are into/looking for relatively vanilla things (kissing, sucking rimming mutual touch).

I find it interesting that people who contact me, whether clients or regular hookup opportunities, very rarely describe what they like first.

Is there a reason to this?

How many here describe what they like first or find themselves asking the other first?

What answers are you expecting in return?

 

I think clients want to know if you're more top or bottom with that question.

 

I know about an escort who used to answer "I'm into everything clean, safe and fun", some guys would hang up on him... Later on he changed his response.

 

For the record this was before PrEP when using a condom was mandatory.

[rvwnsd]

I often get asked "what are you into"....

If I want to try for a chuckle, I'll answer, "Raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens..."

 

@prof, I LOVE that answer. @MrMattBig I think we found your new answer.

 

I find it interesting that people who contact me, whether clients or regular hookup opportunities, very rarely describe what they like first.

Is there a reason to this?...

Yes, there is. Most people simply are not very good communicators. How many times do we see Forum members ask whether escorts will do this or escorts do that? How the hell are we supposed to know? Ask the freakin' escort!

...How many here describe what they like first or find themselves asking the other first?...

100% of the time I state what I get into and ask whether the escort is into the same. There are three reasons for doing this:

1. I want to know whether the escort and I are a match
   
2. I want the escort to know whether he and I are a match
   
3. Many guys don't want to tie payment to specific acts. This approach states what I am looking for and requests an opinion from the escort.
   

...What answers are you expecting in return?

Mainly, honest answers. If a guy is into everything I am then "Wow, that sounds hot" or "Sounds good to me" is perfectly fine. If a guy is into some, but not all, that I am then "I'm not so into mashed potatoes but love string beans" is spot-on. If a guy isn't into anything I am then "Hey, man, I don't think we are a match" works quite well.

[LaffingBear]

Armchair psychology: I suspect people are more in need of an emotional connection then they realize. That their partner will enjoy himself, and demonstrate it, is an important part of the experience.

 

And, in general, top or bottom, people are wired to please; they want evidence its working.

Edited November 10, 2019 by LaffingBear

[hypothetically]

I often get asked "what are you into".

For me this question is awkward to answer, because I am literally into almost everything.

I find most that ask this question are into/looking for relatively vanilla things (kissing, sucking rimming mutual touch).

I find it interesting that people who contact me, whether clients or regular hookup opportunities, very rarely describe what they like first.

Is there a reason to this?

How many here describe what they like first or find themselves asking the other first?

What answers are you expecting in return?

 

Me: “Sex.”

I detest “what are you into” as equally as I detest “sup.”

 

While I understand one’s reasoning for inquiring, my answer serves no relevance to the person asking and i’ll tell you why: chemistry dictates all, period. If I give you a summary of my “into’s” and you register these into’s into your expectations (which most people do), you’re going to be disappointed, because I do not enjoy everything with everyone.

 

I find that people ask and use the information as a map for what should ultimately be an organic experience. Mapped out sex is the most awkward and least enjoyable sex. “When you get here I want you to, and then, and then.” No.

 

And per being asked that question by a client. What would you like me to be into? You’re ultimately hiring me to appease a fantasy you’ve already pre-written.

[Islesguy]

Me: “Sex.”

I detest “what are you into” as equally as I detest “sup.”

 

While I understand one’s reasoning for inquiring, my answer serves no relevance to the person asking and i’ll tell you why: chemistry dictates all, period. If I give you a summary of my “into’s” and you register these into’s into your expectations (which most people do), you’re going to be disappointed, because I do not enjoy everything with everyone.

 

I find that people ask and use the information as a map for what should ultimately be an organic experience. Mapped out sex is the most awkward and least enjoyable sex. “When you get here I want you to, and then, and then.” No.

 

And per being asked that question by a client. What would you like me to be into? You’re ultimately hiring me to appease a fantasy you’ve already pre-written.

If I were hiring you, I would want you to set that boundary at the outset. You could say something like, "I'm open to all things, but only as our chemistry dictates or how things are going when we meet." That allows me to set more reasonable expectations.

 

You are right that clients create a fantasy for themselves and then judge a person based on the experience meeting the fantasy. I know I have. Nit meeting my fantasy doesn't make a person a bad escort, just one that is not right for me.

[Islesguy]

Armchair psychology: I suspect people are more in need of an emotional connection then they realize. That their partner will enjoy himself, and demonstrate it, is an important part if the experience.

 

And, in general, top or bottom, people are wired to please; they want evidence its working.

This exactly what I look for when I hire. Way more important to me than any physical acts we might do.

[+ Charlie]

I think it's most likely that they are asking because they have had the prior experience of telling a new escort what they are into first, and the escort has then responded, "Me, too," even though he really isn't, and his performance turns out to be unsatisfactory.

[+ nycman]

Whenever some replies “I’m into everything”....I reply....”I doubt it”.

 

“Everything”....is a big word!

[+ StLouisOct]

In my first communication with an escort I always describe myself (age, height, weight) and the type of experience I’m looking for (e.g. French kissing is a must) and ask whether he thinks we’d be a good fit. This process has worked well, although I have had one or two who didn’t read or forgot what I said. When we meet I like to ask what the escort likes and dislikes. I suppose some lie and say they like everything, but usually they’ll say that their nipples aren’t sensitive, they love ear kisses, etc. Good communication is sooo helpful. ?

[+ honcho]

If I want to try for a chuckle, I'll answer, "Raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens..."

.

Completely off topic - I think I've mentioned going back to grad school in music and playing in the ensembles there, the cell phone went off (vibrating - so as not to disrupt the rehearsal) in my pocket, and I mumbled something like "Dialing for dollars is trying to reach me".

 

After getting no response to the attempted humor I asked around. Of 8 undergraduate music majors (including a couple focusing on jazz) only *one* of them recognized the name "Janis Joplin", and a *different* student said the tune "Amendz" sounded familiar when I attempted to hum it. And, none of them had heard of the syndicated television feature referenced.

 

So, "Raindrops on roses" may also not register with a youngish provider ... It's getting to be a generational thing.

[MrMattBig]

Whenever some replies “I’m into everything”....I reply....”I doubt it”.

 

“Everything”....is a big word!

If I got hit with "doubt it" I would reply back with let me prove it to you then?

[MrMattBig]

.

Completely off topic - I think I've mentioned going back to grad school in music and playing in the ensembles there, the cell phone went off (vibrating - so as not to disrupt the rehearsal) in my pocket, and I mumbled something like "Dialing for dollars is trying to reach me".

 

After getting no response to the attempted humor I asked around. Of 8 undergraduate music majors (including a couple focusing on jazz) only *one* of them recognized the name "Janis Joplin", and a *different* student said the tune "Amendz" sounded familiar when I attempted to hum it. And, none of them had heard of the syndicated television feature referenced.

 

So, "Raindrops on roses" may also not register with a youngish provider ... It's getting to be a generational thing.

Raindrops on roses made me laugh, dialing for dollars went over my head.

[Chad Constantine]

Funny! For myself I usually ask what do you not like? In my mind they already say what they like on the page if I see anything missing that I like then I would ask them specifically. If they ask me I usually say I am up for anything just nothing too extreme like blood,scat, sounding, raw, drugs, or cbt. It is just easier and faster to narrow down what someone does not like than what they do like. Plus then you dont feel awkward and give confused looks when you hear things like dont suck my nipples or I dont like to get fingered.

 

If I was going to ask if they liked something I would most likely word it as, "Would you like me to prepare anything beforehand." In my mind I was thinking of thing like manscape or wear a jockstrap or fill up your bladder. However what I 99%got was in not the exact same words were...

lmao

[Chad Constantine]

.

Completely off topic - I think I've mentioned going back to grad school in music and playing in the ensembles there, the cell phone went off (vibrating - so as not to disrupt the rehearsal) in my pocket, and I mumbled something like "Dialing for dollars is trying to reach me".

 

After getting no response to the attempted humor I asked around. Of 8 undergraduate music majors (including a couple focusing on jazz) only *one* of them recognized the name "Janis Joplin", and a *different* student said the tune "Amendz" sounded familiar when I attempted to hum it. And, none of them had heard of the syndicated television feature referenced.

 

So, "Raindrops on roses" may also not register with a youngish provider ... It's getting to be a generational thing.

 

I understand that feeling saying referential jokes is always a hit or miss especially if your the only one that gets your references and then have to explain it after laughing at your own corny joke is such a pain. Probably should of went with a Lady Gaga Telephone reference at first I was thinking you could of went with 876-5309 but I doubt they would get it.

 

Hmm... could probably went with Ring Ding Dong by Shinee aka Gaynee. They are not on BTS level but there may be some Kpop fans in your class or at least have heard of them compared to Joplin.

[thickornotatall]

I always say exactly what I like and what I expect. I make certain to ask if he can deliver. If not I appreciate a reply saying so. Make it..don't fake it...I have stopped and said this is not going to work... Be honest!...very important...

[rvwnsd]

Funny! For myself I usually ask what do you not like? ...

Funny that you ask that. I do too!

 

Do you find that question catches guys off-guard?

[Chad Constantine]

Funny that you ask that. I do too!

 

Do you find that question catches guys off-guard?

 

I want to say yes because the usual reply I get is, "Are you looking for something in particular?"

[rvwnsd]

I want to say yes because the usual reply I get is, "Are you looking for something in particular?"

Interesting, but not surprising.

 

I ask that question after I've told them what I like to do. It is truly intended to find out whether there is anything to avoid doing or saying. Most guys don't know what to say. A couple of guys have told me that no one has ever asked them what they dislike.