Quotes from literature (or other sources)

[sydneyboy]

“As soon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb I realised I had made a mistake.”

-Quentin Crisp

 

I can relate to that.

Edited March 19, 2020 by sydneyboy

[sydneyboy]

“I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”

-Oscar Wilde

[loremipsum]

“As soon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb I realised I had made a mistake.”

-Quentin Crisp

 

I can relate to that.

 

Hmm. This reminds me of:

 

“To never have been born may be the greatest boon of all.”

 

-Sophocles

[sydneyboy]

“I sometimes think God in creating man overestimated His ability.”

-Oscar Wilde

[sydneyboy]

“I can sympathise with people’s pain but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about another person’s happiness.”

-Unknown

 

I read this on a desk calendar many years ago. I have applied it over the years and it contains a strong grain of truth.

[thickornotatall]

Animal Farm Quotes

 

 

1. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
   

[sydneyboy]

“The only difference between a saint and a sinner is every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.”

-Oscar Wilde

[sydneyboy]

“You go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

-Mark Twain

[+ E.T.Bass]

He's your guy, when stocks are high, but beware when they start to descend.

????

[sydneyboy]

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

-Groucho Marx

[sydneyboy]

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.”

- Groucho Marx

[sydneyboy]

''What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.''

-Oscar Wilde

[sydneyboy]

Referring to money:

“If I can’t take it with me I’m not going.”

-Ella Fitzgerald

 

“

[sydneyboy]

On the music of Richard Wagner:

“It’s not as bad as it sounds.”

-Mark Twain

 

I don’t agree with him but this is still funny.

[sydneyboy]

“You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough.”

-Mae West

[sydneyboy]

Mae West showed a friend a newly acquired diamond bracelet. The friends’ response was “Goodness.” To which May replied “what do you mean goodness. Goodness has got nothing to do with it!”

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This whole thread should have a sub-thread of just Dorothy Parker quotes.

 

No one did urban foibles quite like her.

[+ Charlie]

Mae West showed a friend a newly acquired diamond bracelet. The friends’ response was “Goodness.” To which May replied “what do you mean goodness. Goodness has got nothing to do with it!”

If I remember correctly, that was actually a line in one of her movies.

[+ g56whiz]

This whole thread should have a sub-thread of just Dorothy Parker quotes.

 

No one did urban foibles quite like her.

I profoundly disappointed @Benjamin_Nicholas that you didn’t take your own advise. So here:

 

”I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.”

[sydneyboy]

If I remember correctly, that was actually a line in one of her movies.

You might be right I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day and he gave me that one. Still funny.

[sydneyboy]

“Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.”

-Quentin Crisp

[sydneyboy]

“I like living in one room, I’ve never known what people do with the room their not in.”

- Quentin Crisp

[sydneyboy]

“I have been rich and I have been poor. Believe me baby, being rich is better!”

-Ella Fitzgerald

[sydneyboy]

On cricket (sources unknown):

 

“Why did God invent cricket? To prove there was eternity.”

 

“Baseball played by people on Valium.”

[loremipsum]

"Ah, my period! You're all fired!" -Liz Lemon