Escort requesting a deposit?

[+ José Soplanucas]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

 

It is not a common practice. I have been hiring now for about 30 years, in three different countries. I have never been asked for a deposit. If I were asked for a deposit, I would move to another provider.

[marylander1940]

How does easy access to online payments make a deposit request any more reasonable?

 

Because it’s easier...

 

They’re pretty common when it comes to Overnight and trips very unusual for one hour appointment as I posted earlier.

[MikeBiDude]

Because many clients already have Venmo, PayPal and Cash App accounts as it is.

That makes it “easier”. It doesn’t make a request for a deposit any more reasonable or palatable.

[Clintbr]

Let’s add the hypothetical...

If a deposit is requested and payment sent, as common practice...how soon would this game be overrun with scammers? More than the Nigerian Prince with the locked stash of cash?

Maybe we can adopt the hotel practice...I will give you my credit card ... use it for incidentals and unexpected expenses before we meet?

[Clintbr]

Here's another contextual question. You mention his profile has been up for years and he's well known and reviewed. i know on RM they can no longer mention specific rates but some do mention requiring deposits. If he's been doing this a long time and requiring deposits in his ordinary course of business, i'd find it hard to believe that he hasn't been used to a significant number of people decline that option. Hence getting angry seems unwarranted and a red flag. To me though if you're still interested you could also privately canvas to get a general sense in private messages to RM reviewers (if they're many and you can get a sense of enough authentic ones) and politely ask if that was their experience as well?

The mentioned guy has a personal website, to which he directs you to...(but I was well aware of this before and viewed many times)...plenty of info, including fees, but no mention of requested deposit. Maybe his general sense of our initial texts was TGTBT...too good to be true...there can’t really be a client so easy going and excited to meet me...must be fake or flake...”deposit required!” Yes, anger seems unnecessary...

[Mocha]

That makes it “easier”. It doesn’t make a request for a deposit any more reasonable or palatable.

 

I’ve known clients to go to Walmart and send me deposits via moneygram.

 

There was really never a question about deposits, until guys began coming along and fucking things up by not showing up. But even still, those with a good rep shouldn’t have an issue.

 

But like I said, it doesn’t matter whether it’s common or if I’m the only person in the world who does it. Everybody is different. In my case, if I feel it’s necessary to ask I will. Like just today...I already had one person in Kansas City attempt to book an in-call today, before I could even get to the deposit part...his profile is deleted.

 

In cities/websites where majority of the people contacting escorts aren’t likely to be serious, it would behoove one to make sure and get a deposit before making any plans.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Mocha

[Mocha]

Let’s add the hypothetical...

If a deposit is requested and payment sent, as common practice...how soon would this game be overrun with scammers? More than the Nigerian Prince with the locked stash of cash?

Maybe we can adopt the hotel practice...I will give you my credit card ... use it for incidentals and unexpected expenses before we meet?

 

It wouldn’t be any more run with scammers than it is now. I’ve heard of clients being robbed and walked out on, money in hand...right in front of their face. How hard is it to collect money upfront, and then say, “I’ll be right back, I’ve got to run down to my car”?

 

If you see that a provider is a professional porn star, has a website, has good reviews, a number that is connected to his profiles across various sites and is known in the business...how can you compare that to a Nigerian Scammer who is using completely falsified information, and is generally more sending you a check for a cash value, versus just asking for a deposit via Venmo, PayPal or cash app, which will generally include the provider’s photo and/or working name. Even on PayPal...I have a picture of myself but I don’t use my working name there.

 

Let’s just all stop for a minute, and come back to earth. It’s one thing to not want to pay upfront to a complete stranger, but it’s not necessarily the same when you have an escort with credentials and receipts.

[Clintbr]

It wouldn’t be any more run with scammers than it is now. I’ve heard of clients being robbed and walked out on, money in hand...right in front of their face. How hard is it to collect money upfront, and then say, “I’ll be right back, I’ve got to run down to my car”?

 

If you see that a provider is a professional porn star, has a website, has good reviews, a number that is connected to his profiles across various sites and is known in the business...how can you compare that to a Nigerian Scammer who is using completely falsified information, and is generally more sending you a check for a cash value, versus just asking for a deposit via Venmo, PayPal or cash app, which will generally include the provider’s photo and/or working name. Even on PayPal...I have a picture of myself but I don’t use my working name there.

 

Let’s just all stop for a minute, and come back to earth. It’s one thing to not want to pay upfront to a complete stranger, but it’s not necessarily the same when you have an escort with credentials and receipts.

Great ... I will take a few deep breaths, get some sleep ... and get back in the game. Wiser but not poorer! I appreciate your input and thoughts. I think I’ll give some trusted local guys my business for now. Thank you, Mocha.

[Mocha]

Great ... I will take a few deep breaths, get some sleep ... and get back in the game. Wiser but not poorer! I appreciate your input and thoughts. I think I’ll give some trusted local guys my business for now. Thank you, Mocha.

 

That’s the spirit! No harm, no foul. Perhaps we can have a sticky bear hug sometime ?

 

[+ WilliamM]

It wouldn’t be any more run with scammers than it is now. I’ve heard of clients being robbed and walked out on, money in hand...right in front of their face. How hard is it to collect money upfront, and then say, “I’ll be right back, I’ve got to run down to my car”?

 

If you see that a provider is a professional porn star, has a website, has good reviews, a number that is connected to his profiles across various sites and is known in the business...how can you compare that to a Nigerian Scammer who is using completely falsified information, and is generally more sending you a check for a cash value, versus just asking for a deposit via Venmo, PayPal or cash app, which will generally include the provider’s photo and/or working name. Even on PayPal...I have a picture of myself but I don’t use my working name there.

 

Let’s just all stop for a minute, and come back to earth. It’s one thing to not want to pay upfront to a complete stranger, but it’s not necessarily the same when you have an escort with credentials and receipts.

 

I agree clients are safer with someone with credentials and good reviews. But good reviews could change over time. If this is yet another way to justify deposits before meeting, please stop.

[Mocha]

I agree clients are safer with someone with credentials and good reviews. But good reviews could change over time. If this is yet another way to justify deposits before meeting, please stop.

 

No, YOU stop. Like I said, I don’t have to justify anything. I’m just sharing my point of view, to someone who ASKED about it. Do you want the truth or the lie? Do you want to only hear: “no it’s not normal”...then find out otherwise that it is?

 

I’ve already told y’all I have receipts. So what the hell do I need to prove, to myself? Lol. If you want to learn about different ways people operate, this would be a good place to do it. If you only want to hear about what you want to hear, then by all means...ignore the facts.

[+ WilliamM]

No, YOU stop. Like I said, I don’t have to justify anything. I’m just sharing my point of view, to someone who ASKED about it. Do you want the truth or the lie? Do you want to only hear: “no it’s not normal”...then find out otherwise that it is?

 

I’ve already told y’all I have receipts. So what the hell do I need to prove, to myself? Lol. If you want to learn about different ways people operate, this would be a good place to do it. If you only want to hear about what you want to hear, then by all means...ignore the facts.

 

I have been hiring for a long time. You chose to travel frequently, rather than mostly work in one city and travel once in a while.

 

Perhaps you could live in one city not as expensive as Washington. Isn't part of your frustration depending on clients not cancelling to do well financially i(or not lose money) in each city.

 

Anyone could become frustrated in those circumstances, and complain here. Not your fault.

[Mocha]

I have been hiring for a long time. You chose to travel frequently, rather than mostly work in one city and travel once in a while.

 

Perhaps you could live in one city not as expensive as Washington. Isn't part of your frustration depending on clients not cancelling to do well financially i(or not lose money) in each city.

 

Anyone could become frustrated in those circumstances, and complain here. Not your fault.

 

And I’ve been escorting for a long time. Yes I choose to travel because I am busier and do better for myself than staying in 1 city waiting for clients who never show. I’ve done that before. I lived in 5 states as an escort, and now temporarily in Kansas while I’m preparing for a move elsewhere. Elsewhere that’s proven to be better than this bullshit ridden KC market. Where everytime I come here, I have to deal with people’s games and nonsense back to back. Like they can’t read PRO AD MASSEUR on adam4adam, and don’t follow rules on RentMen.

 

There have been times where if I didn’t have a tour planned and remained in the city I was in, it would have not been good. I made that mistake in Orlando last year. I was posted up for about 4 months straight only working the Tampa-Orlando market, and my finances suffered. Once I left, I started seeing better money.

 

So now, I make sure before I even come back off tour, I have my next trip already laid out. I’m usually floating off the money I make on tour to make it thru the 2 or 3 week break I take. I’m not making 5,000 a month like I just did traveling, sitting around the same boring city watching paint dry. So that’s why I travel.

[Ron Katt]

have not been asked to a deposit. i have a couple of overnights (my firsts) with two escorts (separately!) and have not been asked to do a deposit. one guy i have seen 5 times and the other 2. i think its because we have already established a relationship. but i would not have been surprised if they had asked and i do think its ok for overnights and longer assignments. given the time commitment i think its reasonable for client to show hes committed.

[+ SundayZip]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

 

No. I've been hiring for years and have never been asked for a deposit.

[RyanDean]

I've been asked but it's typically put the brakes on any plan-making.

Primarily because I'm not confident/comfortable using any of the available mechanisms for transmitting funds, at least not for this purpose.

[SirBillybob]

The provider who got ruffled’n’rude when deposit request denied is not bright. He eliminated the option of filling a vacant spot with a good client more on an impromptu basis when in town, ie, “hey, I am happy with my booking time here and have not been screwed over; maybe we can work out an appointment if it appears you are the real deal and flexible enough to attend at such and such time without a deposit”.

 

Or the client might change his mind and risk the deposit.

 

Otherwise the guy is just telegraphing he is inherently deserving of privileges, has no grasp of the client putting himself out on the limb (not a dental booking), and letting his psychological issues bleed into the business.

 

There is simply nothing intelligently purposeful about his behaviour.

 

But more importantly, shooting himself in the foot by reinforcing the correlation between pouty entitlement and the direction in which clients lean in jeopardy assessments regarding fronting cash.

 

We are human. One bold Mileroticos guy asking for a pay advance has tainted my trust in all their ads. Maybe not such a bad thing, as in a foreign place one should let the big head be bigger than usual.

[Mocha]

The provider who got ruffled’n’rude when deposit request denied is not bright. He eliminated the option of filling a vacant spot with a good client more on an impromptu basis when in town, ie, “hey, I am happy with my booking time here and have not been screwed over; maybe we can work out an appointment if it appears you are the real deal and flexible enough to attend at such and such time without a deposit”.

 

Or the client might change his mind and risk the deposit.

 

Otherwise the guy is just telegraphing he is inherently deserving of privileges, has no grasp of the client putting himself out on the limb (not a dental booking), and letting his psychological issues bleed into the business.

 

There is simply nothing intelligently purposeful about his behaviour.

 

But more importantly, shooting himself in the foot by reinforcing the correlation between pouty entitlement and the direction in which clients lean in jeopardy assessments regarding fronting cash.

 

We are human. One bold Mileroticos guy asking for a pay advance has tainted my trust in all their ads. Maybe not such a bad thing, as in a foreign place one should let the big head be bigger than usual.

 

What you’re saying does cover a lot of basis and perspective, and there stands some truth. However, there just needs to be more input from the 3rd party before making a confirmed assessment on this person’s character and overall validity of collecting deposits.

 

One thing that seems to be missing on the counts of those against deposits, is the amount being requested. Are we talking half the rate, the whole rate, or something that’s not much than the cost of an Uber which is $10-20. Last year I had a lil 22 year old kid send me $20 deposit via Apple Pay to come to his place. Reason being it was late in the evening, and he was clear across town. Shipping and handing.

 

On the other hand, I ask for deposit whenever I’m in my home location city and someone requests that I host. Why? Because for me to host, I have to leave the place where I stay for free, to get a room. I don’t mind it: But what I do mind is doing it and the person requesting it flakes out. And in some cities, they flake out as a sport/hobby. Kansas City is notorious for that. “I can’t host, need to come to you”. Then conveniently bail 10 to 30 minutes prior because after all, it’s not their address being given out...so they don’t have anyone to answer to. After going thru that several times earlier this year, I decided to stop hosting. But then, one loses the clients they could have gotten by hosting.

 

So I found the only way to compromise, is to request a small deposit from every person who requests me to host in this area. That way I don’t be wasting my time and money for someone who doesn’t plan to come. If you look at many escort ads, you’ll occasionally see “I DO NOT HOST”. And it’s probably for that same reasons, but I feel one can still host and still make sure a person shows up, by having the person requesting to host make a deposit.

 

I’m doing exactly that today. I have an incall appointment today, and booked a hotel yesterday to host it. But the only reason I did it, is because the person sent a nominal deposit to at least let me know I’m not working with the “sorry I can’t make it today, something came up” brigade.

[moothrough]

There's a visiting fitness model who is requesting a 50% deposit of 500 USD. Never been asked that before and I just passed it up. Have encountered too many "verified photo" profiles where the provider was different in person.

 

So hard pass for me.

[Mocha]

There's a visiting fitness model who is requesting a 50% deposit of 500 USD. Never been asked that before and I just passed it up. Have encountered too many "verified photo" profiles where the provider was different in person.

 

So hard pass for me.

 

Well again, obviously that’s an exorbitant amount and doesn’t speak for all asking a deposit. And that’s the point I was making about this whole thread...nobody is talking how much is being asked. There’s a difference between $50 and a $500.

 

The point is to weed out flakes and/or prioritize the time arrangements of “confirmed” clients over “inquiries”. Not to make a down payment.

Edited September 18, 2019 by Mocha

[handiacefailure]

If an escort ask for a deposit, I just move on. There's no assurance they won't take the money and run and if you pay them via paypal, etc I"m also worried they can find out other personal info about me.

 

I used to play with a pro dom who has access to a dungeon and he has to reserve it in advance and was on the hook for no shows and he would ask first time clients to pay him a deposit equal to the dungeon fee if they were a no show (I think it was around $100 to rent the dungeon) and that is understandable. I wasn't comfortable paying the deposit the first time we played so we played at my hotel and afterwards when he knew I wasn't a game player we used his dungeon a few times and he never asked for a deposit.

[Guest]

I think a certain dose of skepticism when someone asks you for money upfront is healthy- in the particular situation discussed here, I too would say "no thanks". That said, skepticism is not the same thing as categorical rejection.

 

There's perspective to be gained here from the hetero escort world. That world has even more flaky clients than ours, and so the escorts whose business is stable enough to do so keep themselves sane and safe by requiring deposits and screening (usually a picture of ID). Of course, lots of prospective clients moan about it, and move on to escorts that don't require it. And in turn many escorts moan about the clients who have moved on. Yet, a sizeable share of the market simply goes about its business, a share in which clients trust escorts based on reviews and presentation, and escorts trust clients based on deposits and screening. And I would dare to say these escorts and clients have the most fulfilling and sustainable experience that the industry can offer.

 

Obviously, there are differences between this world and ours. We male escorts face much less physical danger and harassment. But do consider that one day, the M4M market may evolve to the point that some providers require deposits, and we will all have the same choice: to moan about it, or to simply go about our business.

Edited September 22, 2019 by DanteV

[+ DrownedBoy]

It is not a common practice. I have been hiring now for about 30 years, in three different countries. I have never been asked for a deposit. If I were asked for a deposit, I would move to another provider.

 

Same here. Although I've been hiring for only 4-5 years (usually twice a month), I only met 2 escorts who wanted a deposit.

 

With the first, we had already agreed to the session and the hourly fee. However, several hours later (shortly before the session was scheduled for), he asked for the deposit. That set off red lights. So did the fact he has only one review. Also, he's been coming and going on RM. I cancelled the session immediately.

 

This escort posted on M4M forums 3 years ago, usually asking how he could get more customers. This might be what's holding him back...

 

The second escort was new to the field, and had no reviews. I just turned him down - he didn't have enough reviews for me to take seriously.

 

In context, if someone is high profile and has a lot of reviews, I wouldn't mind a deposit. And when scheduling a longer session (like overnight), a deposit would be appropriate.

[mike carey]

@DanteV, thank you for that useful perspective for us as clients. By all means we can have our views on whether or not to pay a deposit (or at the start of a session for that matter), but it is what it is. The gentleman may have established that it works for him, he may be new in the business and still be feeling his way (as it were). We can express our reluctance to pay, but sounding off in here doesn't really achieve anything. It may sway some escorts who read and/or comment on our conversations, but I suspect that the amount of heat it generates in here is vastly greater than the effect said heat has on escort business models. Like so many other characteristics and practices of the gentlemen we seek to meet, take them as they are, decline to accept what they offer or how, or make an exception because what you see is desirable enough for you to override your normal choices. If something we don't like doesn't work, it would stop. This practice hasn't stopped.

[sfsexualhealing]

Is not a common practice for a regular 1 hour booking bur for an overnight or a trip it is.

I agree with you. It is not common practice for a 1 hour booking. I have been hiring escorts for several years now and have only been asked for a deposit once, which I declined.