Am I really the only man left to jack off in paper towels?

[Guest]

I went to Target today to by some rolls of paper towels. They had an entire aisle of "select-a-size" but not a single package of "full sheet." I can't use select-a-size because I use them to jack off on, and if I use the select-a-size, they'll just rip and the jizz will just go onto my blankets. Doesn't anyone else jack off into paper towels? No one at all uses full sheets any more? Or have modern men figured out a more clever way of catching jizz, and I'm just a grumpy old boomer who's too old-fashioned?

[Guest]

Wherefore art thou? Will I have to order my paper towels on amazon?

[Guest]

Aack! Looking on Amazon, they've even come out with "Tear a Square"! Egads!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I've not used paper towels that way. However, the generic brands I use to clean my white board at the office haven't migrated to the 'select a size' format.

[+ HornyRetiree]

I Doesn't anyone else jack off into paper towels? No one at all uses full sheets any more? Or have modern men figured out a more clever way of catching jizz, and I'm just a grumpy old boomer who's too old-fashioned?

 

When I jerk off, I eat my load - no mess:) Usually I deposit it in an orifice of another Guy!

 

[jjkrkwood]

Considering you have a new latin lover, WHY are you still jerking off ? You should be saving your jizz for HIM..... Afterall us seniors don't produce sperm like we did when we were younger..... Or just jerk off on your belly or chest, and use "wipeys"..... There are always alternatives...

[MrMattBig]

I usually shoot on myself and pray I don't hit my eyes sometime lol ? then either hope in the shower or use a warm washcloth.

I can't even keep paper towels out on the kitchen counter, my cats think the roll is the best toy ever.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm not understanding? Do you cum so violently that you'll tear the paper towels at the division during the moment of Le Petit Mort? Also I'm pretty sure that even the smaller division would be more than enough to handle me both from a tallywacker size and ejaculate amount if I didn't traditionally jack off into the porcelain god.

 

Gman

[liubit]

Care to share your technique, @Unicorn? Just like @Gar1eth, I am curious to know why you need the full sheet

 

Full disclosure. When I jerk off, I normally cum on my belly, where I place a few squares of toilet paper to collect my load. I swallow any surplus. I love the taste of cum, mine or somebody else’s. Is that weird?

Edited August 26, 2019 by liubit

[LookingAround]

Never heard of a guy jerking onto paper towels.

[+ WilliamM]

Never heard of a guy jerking onto paper towels.

 

Me either.

[KrisParr]

You can buy some nice linen-like paper napkins that are thick, large, and absorb nicely.

[+ Charlie]

I never thought of using paper towels--too stiff for wiping up. I prefer a real cotton towel.

[+ azdr0710]

I use old junky cotton towels/rags

[+ Pensant]

I usually shoot on myself and pray I don't hit my eyes sometime lol ? then either hope in the shower or use a warm washcloth.

I can't even keep paper towels out on the kitchen counter, my cats think the roll is the best toy ever.

Stop bragging, Matt! Some of us can’t even reach our tummies!

[+ LIguy]

why not a sock? or tissues?

[marylander1940]

I went to Target today to by some rolls of paper towels. They had an entire aisle of "select-a-size" but not a single package of "full sheet." I can't use select-a-size because I use them to jack off on, and if I use the select-a-size, they'll just rip and the jizz will just go onto my blankets. Doesn't anyone else jack off into paper towels? No one at all uses full sheets any more? Or have modern men figured out a more clever way of catching jizz, and I'm just a grumpy old boomer who's too old-fashioned?

 

I put a small towel on the floor so I don't wet the carpet/parquet of the room or my choice.

[LoveNDino]

I use old junky cotton towels/rags

Mental note - never borrow a towel from @azdr0710!

[+ E.T.Bass]

I use old junky cotton towels/rags

 

Kudos @azdr0710 for understanding we can repurpose and reuse.

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I can almost hear a tree-hugger quietly crying over this paper towel thing right now

[Guest]

why not a sock? or tissues?

 

I don't want to be wearing socks I've cum into. And I jack off every day except the days I have sex with by beau (and the day before if I know I've going to have sex the next day; we have sex about twice a week). Tissues don't have adequate surface area, or tensile strength. Unfortunately, I can't reach orgasm on my back. I have to "fuck" the paper towel. When I stay in hotels, I do it on the hotel face towels, which just get washed the next day. I have to keep searching for the full-sheeted paper towels in the meantime. I hope they don't go by the way of the dial phone and pay phone... I guess maybe I am one of the few who jacks off the way I do...

[instudiocity]

I don't want to be wearing socks I've cum into. And I jack off every day except the days I have sex with by beau (and the day before if I know I've going to have sex the next day; we have sex about twice a week). Tissues don't have adequate surface area, or tensile strength. Unfortunately, I can't reach orgasm on my back. I have to "fuck" the paper towel. When I stay in hotels, I do it on the hotel face towels, which just get washed the next day. I have to keep searching for the full-sheeted paper towels in the meantime. I hope they don't go by the way of the dial phone and pay phone... I guess maybe I am one of the few who jacks off the way I do...

Paper towels desensitize the erogenous skin of your cock. You should use a cotton or silk fabric with sufficient lube to imitate your lover’s canal. Without him, lubricant/lotion in a soft cotton/silk receptacle will help maintain your sensitivity. Lubricated socks aren’t bad for this unless you can’t wash them before the next footing. Desensitized cocks take FOR EVER to shoot.

[LookingAround]

Reading these comments makes me imagine a dog with his favorite fire hydrant.

[+ OliverSaks]

I went to Target today to by some rolls of paper towels. They had an entire aisle of "select-a-size" but not a single package of "full sheet." I can't use select-a-size because I use them to jack off on, and if I use the select-a-size, they'll just rip and the jizz will just go onto my blankets. Doesn't anyone else jack off into paper towels? No one at all uses full sheets any more? Or have modern men figured out a more clever way of catching jizz, and I'm just a grumpy old boomer who's too old-fashioned?

Definitely the grumpy old-fashioned boomer option

[jjkrkwood]

I am truly puzzled here.... @Unicorn , you say your beau is a young Latino guy, and your relationship is relatively New, yet you only have sex with him 2 times a week, and jerk off the rest of the time ? something wrong with that picture, at least for me, because I too was in a 23 year relationship with a latino guy, and THAT scenario wouldn't fly with him. HE was a daily sex kinda guy, and always said " why j.o. when you can give IT to me" ? Maybe if you amp up the sex with HIM, you can cut down on the need for the Bounty.?