Providers Who Advertise as "Safe Only" But Upload BB Videos

[Jbronson]

I get tickled whenever I see "safe only" in an ad, right before seeing said talent performing BB on videos he posts on his page. Is this a provider's way of saying they with go bare, but for the the right price? Any insight on this?

[littlenut]

Slightly different take: I’m always surprised to search on “Safe only” guys, and find some who list “PNP”. I mean, I guess it’s possible, but just seems an odd combination.

[Ron Katt]

yeah been curious about this. i prefer bb so i skip safe only ads but then i have heard guys will do bb. why do they have to make it so hard?

[LookingAround]

Don’t believe everything you read.

[+ azdr0710]

and some ads say "straight".......

 

[cmennow]

I think some of them say "safe only" so they don't come across as reckless LOL

[mike carey]

In my early days on Gaydar, I remember one guy who said, 'I only top in hook-ups but I'm totally vers in a relationship'. I think that provides a clue. My take is that these guys' rule is that they are prepared to engage only in safer sex when they are being hired. They are not talking about what they may do in their private lives or what they may do or have done on film (so don't assume that they are). It's a pick list on a form, not a detailed discussion of what safer sex means and what they will agree to do in any circumstance. We read our own interpretation into their responses at our peril. In addition, there is always the possibility that what they put in their ad is a starting point rather than a final position.

[+ azdr0710]

In my early days on Gaydar, I remember one guy who said, 'I only top in hook-ups but I'm totally vers in a relationship'. I think that provides a clue. My take is that these guys' rule is that they are prepared to engage only in safer sex when they are being hired. They are not talking about what they may do in their private lives or what they may do or have done on film (so don't assume that they are). It's a pick list on a form, not a detailed discussion of what safer sex means and what they will agree to do in any circumstance. We read our own interpretation into their responses at our peril. In addition, there is always the possibility that what they put in their ad is a starting point rather than a final position.

 

jesus, Mike, you always put it just the right way......why can't you be our President's "advisor" instead of that dizzy airhead we have

[+ purplekow]

In my early days on Gaydar, I remember one guy who said, 'I only top in hook-ups but I'm totally vers in a relationship'. I think that provides a clue. My take is that these guys' rule is that they are prepared to engage only in safer sex when they are being hired. They are not talking about what they may do in their private lives or what they may do or have done on film (so don't assume that they are). It's a pick list on a form, not a detailed discussion of what safer sex means and what they will agree to do in any circumstance. We read our own interpretation into their responses at our peril. In addition, there is always the possibility that what they put in their ad is a starting point rather than a final position.

 

I agree with you. What an escort does professionally and what he does in private are two different things. He may love BB in private or with a really hot guy in a film where they are tested for VD, but BB also subjects him to much more common venerally transmitted diseases when he is with clients and he may not like the idea of getting VD especially from an untraceable source.

[LookingAround]

Sort of like when a guy on his grindr profile says “I’m only here for networking. No hookups.” Suuuuuure you are.

[+ Hung_Cody]

I think some of them say "safe only" so they don't come across as reckless LOL

 

I agree...in my anecdotal experience 90% of the Escorts on RM are either on PrEP or Undetectable and either case are open to BB as long as they feel comfortable with a guy and his hygiene/maintenance standards. The only guys that are truly safe only usually scream it in the profile text in caps like "NO BB EVER!!!!" or "CONDOMS ONLY!!!!!" So if you're a condom nazi it's pretty easy to find your match.

[hypothetically]

I get tickled whenever I see "safe only" in an ad, right before seeing said talent performing BB on videos he posts on his page. Is this a provider's way of saying they with go bare, but for the the right price? Any insight on this?

 

One’s personal sexual preferences, professional sexual preferences, and on-camera sexual preferences don’t often correlate. Good eye, but what an escort is doing in a film serves no relevance to what he’s selling you.

 

While I understand a client’s frustrations with seeing escorts perform on film or offer varying services to others, we do get to choose what we do with our bodies, and with whom. Unless an escort is willing to negotiate with you, it’s not really any of your business.

[maninsoma]

Great responses already. The bottom line is that you cannot assume anything just because an escort performs BB on camera at least some of the time but lists "safe only" in his ad. If you want to know what the escort's limits with you will be, you need to discuss that.

 

That being said, I do understand that men who want to increase the odds that the escort won't try to have bareback sex with them would screen out those who post any indication that the escort ever barebacks. There are still no guarantees in life (other than death), but I understand an attempt to screen out guys that way.

[Jbronson]

One’s personal sexual preferences, professional sexual preferences, and on-camera sexual preferences don’t often correlate. Good eye, but what an escort is doing in a film serves no relevance to what he’s selling you.

 

While I understand a client’s frustrations with seeing escorts perform on film or offer varying services to others, we do get to choose what we do with our bodies, and with whom. Unless an escort is willing to negotiate with you, it’s not really any of your business.

 

I see where you're going. However when someone displays a particular action or characteristic of a product or service he/she is trying to market, that does in fact becomes the potential customer's business regardless.

[Strafe13]

I see where you're going. However when someone displays a particular action or characteristic of a product or service he/she is trying to market, that does in fact becomes the potential customer's business regardless.

 

I agree. Not so much with the notion that an escort's sexual activities with others (in private or business) are necessarily any business of the prospective client. But this is an entirely different context. The whole point of an ad is to market the services one offers to clientele in order to convince them to hire that provider. It's confusing, to say the least, for an escort to post pics and/or videos of certain activities on his ad if those activities are never included in the services offered to the clients. One could even go so far as to say that it's deceptive and manipulative.

 

That being said, just cheking the "safe only" box isn't particularly helpful, nor is it all that definitive, because there's no such thing as "safe sex," but only "SAFER sex," and what constitutes the latter is open to multiple interpretations. That's why it's important to discuss safer sex practices with all sexual partners, not just escorts, to determine the level of risk with which one is comfortable.

 

We should also keep in mind that just because an escort advertises a particular activity, or is known to participate in it from porn or other media, doesn't mean that he will insist that his clients also partake in that. Several years ago I met with BB porn star Peto Coast, and not only was he perfectly fine with using condoms, but he supplied his own extra large preferred brand, checked on me several times throughout the session, and replaced with new condoms multiple times. It was an in-call session, so the fact that he kept such ample supplies on hand leads me to believe that accommodating safer sex practices was his standard operating practice. IMHO, he went above and beyond to respect my limits, and make me feel safe and comfortable.

[+ JEC]

Lets be honest, BB sex still carries a strong stigma in many circles. So even those who do, or may, may not be willing to state so publicly. Then there's the strict capitalism question: why say something that may limit your income? What I've heard is many guys who list safe will BB if you ask, and "ask me" is also a strong hint. Besides abstinence, the only safe thing is to assume everyone you come in contact is potentially infectious and manage your own behavior accordingly.

[Guest]

I get tickled whenever I see "safe only" in an ad,

 

Do you believe everything else in their ads? I get tickled when I read they are a 27 surfer boy, and know they are really a 40 year old (fill in the blank).

Edited August 15, 2019 by Oaktown

[Jbronson]

Do you believe everything else in their ad? I get tickled when I read they are a 27 surfer boy, and know they are really a 40 year old (fill in the blank).

 

lol

[Ron Katt]

Don’t believe everything you read.

wow this thread has taken off. i get that i should not believe everything i read in the ads but how am i supposed to make a decision? reason why i said why does it have to be so hard is all the work i have to do figure out if somone will be right for me. i know its the reality of the situation and i have to suck it up buttercup. i enjoy this and they are treats for myself so ill still do it but i wish it was a little easier to vet things.

[Kris_Canada]

Just talk to the guy you're interested in. Ask questions in the most direct manner possible, in a way that makes it less easy for him to simply tell you what you wanna hear. People can always lie, but on the safe sex and HIV status front, I find the vast majority of people are honest (ie, those I've gotten to know don't later reveal that they lied to get in my pants).

[Jbronson]

wow this thread has taken off. i get that i should not believe everything i read in the ads but how am i supposed to make a decision? reason why i said why does it have to be so hard is all the work i have to do figure out if somone will be right for me. i know its the reality of the situation and i have to suck it up buttercup. i enjoy this and they are treats for myself so ill still do it but i wish it was a little easier to vet things.

 

'Shrugs'