Traveling and Making Friendships, Relationships, Fuck Buds, and Clients

[Mocha]

As much as I enjoy this lifestyle, I been having 2nd thoughts about the authenticity of some of the connections I’ve been making.

 

This year alone, I’ve met a lot of people but also had to let go of several people in my circles for various reasons: And they’ve all included those 4 I mentioned. I’ve had to let go of relationships, friends, fuck buddies and clients. Sometimes I wonder if the same opportunity of meeting people when traveling, also leaves the door open to many superficial connections.

 

Some examples:

 

I had met a guy in Las Vegas earlier this year, after meeting thru a mutual friend on Twitter. We spent a week together, and things were perfect. But two weeks after I left, things went south and we haven’t spoke since.

 

A former client/friend of mine in Atlanta who I’ve known for a little over a year, moved back to Colorado in June. We were sharing an air bnb together for about a week. One night he got upset when I asked to bring someone over (he wasn’t hiring me nor was he wanting sex). I left and we haven’t talked since.

 

I had a nice fuck buddy who lived 3.5 hours north of me, and we linked up twice. But after that, there wasn’t much effort on his part to keep things going. And being business in his town seems to come and go, I stopped going up there myself.

 

Then I have a client in Phoenix I’ve known for years. We were making plans to meet again over the past couple of months, in between him helping family. Our last chat, he had called me but I couldn’t take his call. I texted that I would ring back later that night, and he said it would be fine. Didn’t answer the phone, and hasn’t returned any messages in 2 weeks.

 

So I think to myself, what is going on? I don’t expect every connection to be life long, but it seems like few of them are real. I’ve been working harder on myself to just let people go, without accountability now. There was another guy in Kansas City I was getting to know (aka, fuck) on a “deeper” level. We made plans to hang out again the following week, but he gave me some lame excuse on the day before, about being sick and throwing up all day. I didn’t even question it, but the next day when he didn’t even let me know if we were on or off, I just scheduled some clients and left town.

 

I remember former Michael Vincenzo and I had a phone conversation couple years ago. He told me how when he travels, he doesn’t meet up and play with other guys outside of clients, and I can see why. Maybe his reasons were different, but I can see how it can just lead to unfulfilled expectations and just an overall distraction.

[+ WilliamM]

Concerning your Colorado friend, what did you expect, @Mocha? Bringing a client in would have upset me too.

[craigville beach]

Concerning your Colorado friend, what did you expect, @Mocha? Bringing a client in would have upset me too.

 

not sure I agree. Mocha's airbnb roommate knew Mocha had a profession that required him to see clients. This friend, it was stated, was a former client. I think it would have been reasonable for the friend to try and find a mutually agreeable solution.

[+ ArVaGuy]

not sure I agree. Mocha's airbnb roommate knew Mocha had a profession that required him to see clients. This friend, it was stated, was a former client. I think it would have been reasonable for the friend to try and find a mutually agreeable solution.

 

One thing I learned the hard way traveling with friends is to set the boundaries and ground rules before the trip. It’s a nightmare when these situations get out of hand.

[Mocha]

not sure I agree. Mocha's airbnb roommate knew Mocha had a profession that required him to see clients. This friend, it was stated, was a former client. I think it would have been reasonable for the friend to try and find a mutually agreeable solution.

 

Well that’s the thing: the person to be invited was not even a client, but just a friend I knew. But otherwise yeah, he did know what my profession was...and it wasn’t until after the fact that he discussed not wanting to have anyone over (he personally knew the person renting the air bnb out...but it didn’t have much to do with that, than it had to do with him and his insecurities about keeping tabs on people).

 

But like was said above...that would have been a boundary to discuss before and not after the fact. We actually got into a little argument because I told him, it’s not like I just showed up with someone. He got mad simply because I was asking a questions. But regardless, that friendship is over now. However, he was one of the few “clients” I kept around as “friends”, but I’ve cautioned myself in the past to tread careful in those situations...because not all clients are “cool” like that.

 

At the same time, for each of those 4 situations I spoke of, there’s been atleast a couple more examples of each...especially the fuck buddy and out of town “relationship” thing. I feel like too, the way things are: people nowadays have way too many options at their disposal. Most guys are “talking” to several people at once.

 

One guy on twitter made post about how he was texting all 14 people he was dating, “hello”. It sounded amusing, but it’s sad the way people handle things. Everyone has a plan a, b, c, d, e, f...

[+ purplekow]

To find a prince, you need to kiss a lot of frogs. It does not matter whether that prince is a lifetime partner or just a lasting friend, many more frogs than princes out there. Best just to take what you have learned about yourself and other people from each interaction and apply that lesson to the next time.

[RealAvalon]

As much as I enjoy this lifestyle, I been having 2nd thoughts about the authenticity of some of the connections I’ve been making.

 

This year alone, I’ve met a lot of people but also had to let go of several people in my circles for various reasons: And they’ve all included those 4 I mentioned. I’ve had to let go of relationships, friends, fuck buddies and clients. Sometimes I wonder if the same opportunity of meeting people when traveling, also leaves the door open to many superficial connections.

 

Some examples:

 

I had met a guy in Las Vegas earlier this year, after meeting thru a mutual friend on Twitter. We spent a week together, and things were perfect. But two weeks after I left, things went south and we haven’t spoke since.

 

A former client/friend of mine in Atlanta who I’ve known for a little over a year, moved back to Colorado in June. We were sharing an air bnb together for about a week. One night he got upset when I asked to bring someone over (he wasn’t hiring me nor was he wanting sex). I left and we haven’t talked since.

 

I had a nice fuck buddy who lived 3.5 hours north of me, and we linked up twice. But after that, there wasn’t much effort on his part to keep things going. And being business in his town seems to come and go, I stopped going up there myself.

 

Then I have a client in Phoenix I’ve known for years. We were making plans to meet again over the past couple of months, in between him helping family. Our last chat, he had called me but I couldn’t take his call. I texted that I would ring back later that night, and he said it would be fine. Didn’t answer the phone, and hasn’t returned any messages in 2 weeks.

 

So I think to myself, what is going on? I don’t expect every connection to be life long, but it seems like few of them are real. I’ve been working harder on myself to just let people go, without accountability now. There was another guy in Kansas City I was getting to know (aka, fuck) on a “deeper” level. We made plans to hang out again the following week, but he gave me some lame excuse on the day before, about being sick and throwing up all day. I didn’t even question it, but the next day when he didn’t even let me know if we were on or off, I just scheduled some clients and left town.

 

I remember former Michael Vincenzo and I had a phone conversation couple years ago. He told me how when he travels, he doesn’t meet up and play with other guys outside of clients, and I can see why. Maybe his reasons were different, but I can see how it can just lead to unfulfilled expectations and just an overall distraction.

I don't know if this is relevant or not to what you're saying. But. I am lucky enough that I have no worries about money, and get to have semi-regular travel around the USA and Canada. There have been a couple of times when I have made an offer to an escort where I would book a two bedroom unit, instead of just the one that I would need, and then offered the other room to an escort with no expectations. Just to support their business.

 

I've got my own things going on when I travel, and there is no need (or expectation) of any sort of 'service' fee. And, in general, I think outright kindness isn't believed or trusted, there's suspicion. It's made me not, for the most part, bother any more with making offers. And while it's annoying to see suspicion, when the only thing being offered is a kindness, I can also see that suspicion is probably a necessary and useful tool for the industry.

Edited August 11, 2019 by RealAvalon

[Mocha]

I don't know if this is relevant or not to what you're saying. But. I am lucky enough that I have no worries about money, and get to have semi-regular travel around the USA and Canada. There have been a couple of times when I have made an offer to an escort where I would book a two bedroom unit, instead of just the one that I would need, and then offered the other room to an escort with no expectations. Just to support their business.

 

I've got my own things going on when I travel, and there is no need (or expectation) of any sort of 'service' fee. And, in general, I think outright kindness isn't believed or trusted, there's suspicion. It's made me not, for the most part, bother any more with making offers. And while it's annoying to see suspicion, when the only thing being offered is a kindness, I can also see that suspicion is probably a necessary and useful tool for the industry.

 

That’s nice of you to offer a place AND allow the provider to “provide” from there (assuming that’s what you mean). I’ve had many offers to share accommodations with clients, but it’s kinda a deal breaker when the condition is can’t host over...unless they’re either paying for the time or giving a little “cushion” money for everyday expenses otherwise.

 

That said, I really don’t be in a rush to accept “offers” for sleepovers. I’ve had enough “you can stay over” offers to write a book about. I’m at the point where I just can’t trust sleepovers with guys. Been burnt way too many times. One minute they’re all welcoming, next minute they’re trying to throw someone out. I let these fuck mother fuckers know, I’m not the 1. I don’t “need” them for a place to stay. So don’t try to offer something, then pull it away once you get satisfied.

 

One of my clients the other day was telling me about how he’s never been in a relationship with a guy because he said they’re not consistent. He’s only been involved with women. I don’t blame him. I might need to explore the heteroflexible lifestyle myself...

[RealAvalon]

That’s nice of you to offer a place AND allow the provider to “provide” from there (assuming that’s what you mean). I’ve had many offers to share accommodations with clients, but it’s kinda a deal breaker when the condition is can’t host over...unless they’re either paying for the time or giving a little “cushion” money for everyday expenses otherwise.

 

That said, I really don’t be in a rush to accept “offers” for sleepovers. I’ve had enough “you can stay over” offers to write a book about. I’m at the point where I just can’t trust sleepovers with guys. Been burnt way too many times. One minute they’re all welcoming, next minute they’re trying to throw someone out. I let these fuck mother fuckers know, I’m not the 1. I don’t “need” them for a place to stay. So don’t try to offer something, then pull it away once you get satisfied.

 

One of my clients the other day was telling me about how he’s never been in a relationship with a guy because he said they’re not consistent. He’s only been involved with women. I don’t blame him. I might need to explore the heteroflexible lifestyle myself...

I understand the underlying wariness of accepting an offer. I guess an escort can't ever trust 100% that a friendly offer is just that and nothing else, just a friendly offer.

[Mocha]

Well I have an update: I’m still open to meeting friends and such when traveling. Over The Weekend, I went out to a bar in DC and met a guy who ended up picking me up and treating me out to the Legal Seafood Restaurant in DC for my birthday. It was a blast.

 

What’s kinda scary is, had I never stepped out that night (and I was about to not too as I was kinda tired), I woulda never met him and ended up spending my birthday night in DC alone...because the bastard of a human being I’ve known for like 2 years, who told me he was going to plan something for my birthday, ended up completely flaking out on me the entire time.

 

And the 2 clients I know in DC couldn’t meet, my other favorite client in Maryland passed away...so things were looking pretty frightening, before I was able to schedule in 2 clients in a day...and decided to take myself to a gay bar. That’s why I said in that other thread, don’t underestimate the gay bar. They’re still relevant and important nowadays. I can guarantee I wouldn’t of found anyone on Grindr to take me out on a date for my birthday. People on these apps are 9 out 10 just looking for cheap and free. They never spend money on shit. If you want to meet quality gays, you still have to go to the bars, and just have a good radar. They’re not going to pay for our “time”, but I’ve had a few show me some real good times.