Young man needs help

[MassageAdam]

If a CC student excels, he can transfer to a good or even great 4 year public. Many start out planning to do so. But given the often poor advising and other factors, it’s very easy to lose focus and drop out instead.

That's where there might be misinformation..... students who would fail out the first year in a 4 year university often find success in a community college. Yes, there are many students who attend CC first because they don't have the grades to go to a 4 year university.... but getting back to the original question was that CC would be affordable and doable for a student who appeared to be good in high school (based on the fact he got $30,000 in scholarships to the school he chose)... I'm just saying, this would be an affordable option other than getting gullible people to pay him on gofundme

[Guest]

Degrees are hardly worthless even if it is a major that does not immediately lead to a job, especially if you are an English major. Writing well is an art.

I am not a good writer, so am very familiar with my limitation.

Although "worthless" may be a too strong a word, I do think it's rather silly to be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a degree that won't even pay itself back, let alone have a significant positive benefit in one's career. An English degree from that university isn't totally worthless, but it isn't worth much. University studies are not supposed to be entertainment. They should be an investment in one's future career. My father made that clear to us, and he didn't need to tell me. He was an engineer, my mother a scientist, I'm a physician, my sister a lawyer, and my brother a banker.

[MrMattBig]

My 2 cents on community college versus a 4 year starting out as a freshman: pros and cons to each and depends on the areas and systems.

At least in Southern California regarding online courses, a lot of community college professors are adjunct professors that teach at the major regional 4 year universities. So you end up getting the same education, and the systems are set up to be as smooth a transition as possible.

[+ WilliamM]

Well, that is not the norm... let me inform you.

 

I audited courses at Penn while in the Army stationed at Fort Dix, New Jersey and much later after I retired. Mostly literature courses.

 

I already had a masters degree in political science from Penn State from 1967.

[+ WilliamM]

Although "worthless" may be a too strong a word, I do think it's rather silly to be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a degree that won't even pay itself back, let alone have a significant positive benefit in one's career. An English degree from that university isn't totally worthless, but it isn't worth much. University studies are not supposed to be entertainment. They should be an investment in one's future career. My father made that clear to us, and he didn't need to tell me. He was an engineer, my mother a scientist, I'm a physician, my sister a lawyer, and my brother a banker.

 

 

My dad was an engineer as well, but initially his mother wanted him to be a doctor; he attended Tufts medical school for a year and hated it. My dad told my grandmother he would walk in front of a speeding bus rather than go back to Tufts ( an extreme statement that he meant),

 

He and my mother were fine with me majoring in political science. and history. It took a while for me to find a job. But, when I did I loved the job.

Edited June 30, 2019 by WilliamM

[+ bigjoey]

Obviously you need to bring AOC into the conversation...

 

Btw, how old were you when you came out to your parents?

 

Do you know that life (rent/college) is more expensive and competitive now a days?

 

My post was not about the young, gay man with the Go Fund Me campaign. My post was solely about the college graduate who REFUSED to get a job and wanted a free ride through life.

 

As for AOC, she has a solution for this young college graduate so it is appropriate in the post.

 

How do you think the parents of the graduate who refuses to work should handle the situation?

[marylander1940]

My post was not about the young, gay man with the Go Fund Me campaign. My post was solely about the college graduate who REFUSED to get a job and wanted a free ride through life.

 

As for AOC, she has a solution for this young college graduate so it is appropriate in the post.

 

How do you think the parents of the graduate who refuses to work should handle the situation?

 

he was born a U.S. citizen... that's winning the lotto! Please tell that to the poor folks in your neck of the woods who voted for Trump looking for a leader to save them from his hellhole called the U.S.A.

 

well, at least you didn't talk about that girl who fake her rape and got help from Al Sharpton

[Redwine56]

Although "worthless" may be a too strong a word, I do think it's rather silly to be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a degree that won't even pay itself back, let alone have a significant positive benefit in one's career. An English degree from that university isn't totally worthless, but it isn't worth much. University studies are not supposed to be entertainment. They should be an investment in one's future career. My father made that clear to us, and he didn't need to tell me. He was an engineer, my mother a scientist, I'm a physician, my sister a lawyer, and my brother a banker.

I'm impressed! That is remarkable. Lots of smart folk among the Unicorn family. Cheers to you!

[+ WilliamM]

dude, I was a high school counselor before I was a nurse and you are way off base with the community college comment. Maybe he should look into a degree that he can earn money in and not spend a couple hundred thousand dollars on a pretty worthless degree.

 

When I was dealing with my high school counselor she also suggested junior college and a transfer. My mother scheduled an appointment to talk to her directly. After that conversation, I was accepted to a university beyond my hopes. One of my aunts was married to a graduate of that university. I have never known whether they used the legacy issue or not. But my mother was more street smart than most people. And I greatly enjoyed college and received better grades each semester.

[+ g56whiz]

My post was not about the young, gay man with the Go Fund Me campaign. My post was solely about the college graduate who REFUSED to get a job and wanted a free ride through life.

 

As for AOC, she has a solution for this young college graduate so it is appropriate in the post.

 

How do you think the parents of the graduate who refuses to work should handle the situation?

I think the parents should admit their own failure as parent and kick the kid out.

[+ g56whiz]

FWIW Fairfield University is Catholic (Jesuit) school. If they become aware of this episode I wouldn’t be surprised if they withdrew the acceptance not because he’s gay but because he’s displayed some bad judgement.

[+ bigjoey]

he was born a U.S. citizen... that's winning the lotto! Please tell that to the poor folks in your neck of the woods who voted for Trump looking for a leader to save them from his hellhole called the U.S.A.

 

well, at least you didn't talk about that girl who fake her rape and got help from Al Sharpton

 

I try to keep my posts on topic such as talking about the girl who refused to work. When it is appropriate, I will remind readers of Tawana Brawley who falsely accused NYC police of sexually abusing her and how Al Sharpton used her to ride to fame. But not in this thread because it is not relevant unless someone brings it up first:):)

 

I do try to stay on topic.

[+ WilliamM]

FWIW Fairfield University is Catholic (Jesuit) school. If they become aware of this episode I wouldn’t be surprised if they withdrew the acceptance not because he’s gay but because he’s displayed some bad judgement.

 

What bad judgment?

[+ WilliamM]

If a CC student excels, he can transfer to a good or even great 4 year public. Many start out planning to do so. But given the often poor advising and other factors, it’s very easy to lose focus and drop out instead.

 

Even with a highly organized, determined student it is difficult.

 

My parents moved between my second and third year in high school. Most of my classes were with second year students, because my former high school offered different courses in different years. When there is a reunion, I knew very few people.

[maninsoma]

It is certainly wrong that the father should think ill of his son, but i don't think any parent owes their child an expensive college

education. He should get his own student loans or attend a school he can afford.

 

I didn't get a dime of support from my parents after I moved out to attend college. I had a very small scholarship my first year, took out loans, and worked part time while going to school full time. Unless there is some written contract that the parents are to pay for education (like a divorce decree between the parents that indicate this support will be provided), I think it's wrong that adolescents expect things they do as adults to be paid for. It's wonderful for those from affluent enough families that the parents frequently pay for their children's education, but it isn't a legal obligation. And a young adult who is going to beg online for money from strangers doesn't seem to be mature enough to go to college anyway. Maybe he needs to face the reality of supporting himself for a bit to figure out how to proceed in life.

[+ Pensant]

My 2 cents on community college versus a 4 year starting out as a freshman: pros and cons to each and depends on the areas and systems.

At least in Southern California regarding online courses, a lot of community college professors are adjunct professors that teach at the major regional 4 year universities. So you end up getting the same education, and the systems are set up to be as smooth a transition as possible.

Lots of kids in California start at a community college and finish up at either a Cal State or UC campus. It’s not where you begin your college career; it’s where you end up. Several friends’ sons graduated from UCSB and Cal.

[+ g56whiz]

I didn't get a dime of support from my parents after I moved out to attend college. I had a very small scholarship my first year, took out loans, and worked part time while going to school full time. Unless there is some written contract that the parents are to pay for education (like a divorce decree between the parents that indicate this support will be provided), I think it's wrong that adolescents expect things they do as adults to be paid for. It's wonderful for those from affluent enough families that the parents frequently pay for their children's education, but it isn't a legal obligation. And a young adult who is going to beg online for money from strangers doesn't seem to be mature enough to go to college anyway. Maybe he needs to face the reality of supporting himself for a bit to figure out how to proceed in life.

Me either (except they paid for car insurance on my Beetle cuz my mom worked for the company). I was a returning VietNam era veteran. The school I choose and accepted now costs $60m a year. I got by with the GI bill scholarships and loans and workin both on campus and off. When I graduated I owed an amount that could have purchased a run down brownstone on the park block of Central Park West. It took about 15 years to pay off and during that time the need for monthly payments severely limited career moves. Do I regret it? Not really but I sometimes wonder “What if . . .”

[+ FrankR]

The school I choose and accepted now costs $60m a year.”

I sure hope you meant to say the school you chose charges $60k a year!!! $60m is definitely outside of my price range! ?

[gallahadesquire]

Med school:

$600 first year, rose to $900 by fourth year. $17000 for all four years total. Best return on investment.

[+ Funguy]

Med school:

$600 first year, rose to $900 by fourth year. $17000 for all four years total. Best return on investment.

 

Dont remember tuition cost for medical school but my apartment was $250 split 3 ways.

 

Tuition for undergrad was $1200 per year as out of state student.

[+ g56whiz]

I sure hope you meant to say the school you chose charges $60k a year!!! $60m is definitely outside of my price range! ?

Lol. Oooops. Yes and mine also.

[geoffk]

I sure hope you meant to say the school you chose charges $60k a year!!! $60m is definitely outside of my price range! ?

 

not that this is totally relevent but M is the roman symbol for 1,000. Was generally used before K in the computer era.

[+ friendofsheila]

To be clear, in order for this young man to have received the measure of financial aid from his chosen school that he did, the father would have had to complete and sign a fairly complex form,

Putting aside one's feelings about GoFundMe, the timing of the father's retraction of financial support places this young man in a complicated snarl.

 

To be clear, in order for this young man to have received the measure of financial aid from his chosen school that he did, the father would have had to complete and sign a fairly complex form, confirming his financial relationship to his son. Putting aside the fact that most admissions cycles are long-closed for the 2019-20 school year, any 4year college (public or private) that this young man attempts to attend this fall will use that same fairly complex financial form to assess the measure of loan and grant eligibility. By the time this form is due for the 2020-21, this young man will likely be able to be considered financially non-dependent on his father (unless the father continues to claim his as a dependent on his tax forms).

 

I mean, if I knew this kid, I'd encourage him defer enrollment from his school of choice to take what is today called a "gap year" and spend the time getting financially untethered from his father so that he can be considered for more comprehensive financial aid next year. But, as I did, I'd also try to be kind to a clearly naive and sheltered 18yo just graduating high school who has just had a pretty big rug pulled out from under him.

 

As for that controlling, cruel, self-centered prick (exhibitA) of a dad... no kindness for him.

 

I must disagree on several points:

 

--The form is not so complex. Many people fill it out to get aid every year. (I did it myself multiple times.)

 

--This financial aid form considers a child independent of their parents support only after age 26. (A real bummer for someone who works hard on her/his own!)

 

But all this is fake water under the bridge now, isnt' it?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I didn't get a dime of support from my parents after I moved out to attend college. I had a very small scholarship my first year, took out loans, and worked part time while going to school full time. Unless there is some written contract that the parents are to pay for education (like a divorce decree between the parents that indicate this support will be provided), I think it's wrong that adolescents expect things they do as adults to be paid for. It's wonderful for those from affluent enough families that the parents frequently pay for their children's education, but it isn't a legal obligation. And a young adult who is going to beg online for money from strangers doesn't seem to be mature enough to go to college anyway. Maybe he needs to face the reality of supporting himself for a bit to figure out how to proceed in life.

 

I agree that expectation today is a very usual thing. It's not raising a crop of highly independent young people.

 

My parents were financially able to put me through any amount of higher education, but told us from a young age that it was our obligation to figure out how to make it happen. We were not given anything: We were expected to earn it ourselves.

 

I worked as soon as I turned 16. I was on full scholarship for undergrad. Thankfully, I was able to pay for grad school out of pocket.

 

I wouldn't trade the most difficult financial times in my life for anything. They made me the person I am today.

[+ OliverSaks]

The privilege in this post is just dripping off, and pretty damn satisfying... ooooooooof

 

A wealthy white male who was “not given anything”

 

Ha!

 

I agree that expectation today is a very usual thing. It's not raising a crop of highly independent young people.

 

My parents were financially able to put me through any amount of higher education, but told us from a young age that it was our obligation to figure out how to make it happen. We were not given anything: We were expected to earn it ourselves.

 

I worked as soon as I turned 16. I was on full scholarship for undergrad. Thankfully, I was able to pay for grad school out of pocket.

 

I wouldn't trade the most difficult financial times in my life for anything. They made me the person I am today.