Young man needs help

[kevininsa]

This article moved me. Upon finding out his two sons were gay, the father has withdrawn all financial support for the HS graduate son to go to University. The article follows and there is a link to a GoFundMe page. Please read and help if able.

https://instinctmagazine.com/exclusive-father-refuses-to-pay-for-his-sons-college-because-of-his-sexuality/

[gallahadesquire]

Not to throw fuel on the fire, but I hope he plans to major in something useful, Not theatre, psychology, music, literature ... I wonder if he could get an apprenticeship in construction. He’s done stage crew, which is mini construction.

[geoffk]

It is certainly wrong that the father should think ill of his son, but i don't think any parent owes their child an expensive college

education. He should get his own student loans or attend a school he can afford.

[+ WilliamM]

Not to throw fuel on the fire, but I hope he plans to major in something useful, Not theatre, psychology, music, literature ... I wonder if he could get an apprenticeship in construction. He’s done stage crew, which is mini construction.

 

I mentioned in another forum that I played Art Carney's role of Ed Norton in a school play. What I did not write is my teacher selected me to be in charge of the play. She believed I should try harder, and not be so shy. I selected The Honeymooners because of the Ed Norton role.

 

Because I was only in the sixth grade, I was shocked at how well it was received by everyone.

 

School is not just about a job after graduation. If so, the student in question might end up with a job he hates.

[+ nycman]

I’m sorry this kid’s father fucked him over, but “GoFundMe”

still feels like nothing more than public begging to me.

[rocky]

I agree and never sure what is legit or not anymore. Everyone is "go fund me" when they don't have enough money for something

[kevininsa]

It is certainly wrong that the father should think ill of his son, but i don't think any parent owes their child an expensive college

education. He should get his own student loans or attend a school he can afford.

 

That was part of the problem. He doesn't have his own credit and dad won't co-sign anymore.

[+ augustus]

Read this kid's statement on his GoFundMe page. Talks about going to Court with his mother over this. The Court could have ordered the Father to pay a reasonable amount for his University costs. Sounds like a scam to me, just many GoFundMe's are. Here's a real doozy...…………………..

 

https://www.nj.com/burlington/2019/04/2-of-the-gofundme-scammers-could-be-heading-to-jail-so-whats-up-with-the-third-guy.html

[geoffk]

That was part of the problem. He doesn't have his own credit and dad won't co-sign anymore.

 

This i don't understand. How are all these people that didn't have credit or co-signers saddled with Student loans that they want the government to pay off now?

[gallahadesquire]

I’m sorry this kid’s father fucked him over, but “GoFundMe”

still feels like nothing more than public begging to me.

I remember a couple on London who couldn’t afford their third flat not school for their daughters. They were outspending like £400,000 [sic] a year

[rocky]

Read this kid's statement on his GoFundMe page. Talks about going to Court with his mother over this. The Court could have ordered the Father to pay a reasonable amount for his University costs. Sounds like a scam to me, just many GoFundMe's are. Here's a real doozy...…………………..

 

https://www.nj.com/burlington/2019/04/2-of-the-gofundme-scammers-could-be-heading-to-jail-so-whats-up-with-the-third-guy.html

I agree. Seeing young men where I am I get my fair share of "gee if I don't get so much money they will take my car away, or I can't afford gas or my cell phone will be turned off"; nope it's a scam

[+ friendofsheila]

Plenty of people get through college by applying for loans, grants, scholarships and jobs.

[marylander1940]

Plenty of people get through college by applying for loans, grants, scholarships and jobs.

 

and working part time.

 

I don't want to be mean but... He could escort or marry an illegal as ways to get fast cash too. I would hire him!

[+ WilliamM]

and working part time.

 

I don't want to be mean but... He could escort or marry an illegal as ways to get fast cash too. I would hire him!

 

Good suggestion, but marrying an illegal requires some experience with people, not easy for an 18 year old

[marylander1940]

Good suggestion, but marrying an illegal requires some experience with people, not easy for an 18 year old

 

I just wanted to remind him (and others) that being born a U.S. citizen is like winning the lotto!

[RyanDean]

Putting aside one's feelings about GoFundMe, the timing of the father's retraction of financial support places this young man in a complicated snarl.

 

To be clear, in order for this young man to have received the measure of financial aid from his chosen school that he did, the father would have had to complete and sign a fairly complex form, confirming his financial relationship to his son. Putting aside the fact that most admissions cycles are long-closed for the 2019-20 school year, any 4year college (public or private) that this young man attempts to attend this fall will use that same fairly complex financial form to assess the measure of loan and grant eligibility. By the time this form is due for the 2020-21, this young man will likely be able to be considered financially non-dependent on his father (unless the father continues to claim his as a dependent on his tax forms).

 

I mean, if I knew this kid, I'd encourage him defer enrollment from his school of choice to take what is today called a "gap year" and spend the time getting financially untethered from his father so that he can be considered for more comprehensive financial aid next year. But, as I did, I'd also try to be kind to a clearly naive and sheltered 18yo just graduating high school who has just had a pretty big rug pulled out from under him.

 

As for that controlling, cruel, self-centered prick (exhibitA) of a dad... no kindness for him.

[+ WilliamM]

and working part time.

 

I don't want to be mean but... He could escort or marry an illegal as ways to get fast cash too. I would hire him!

 

You are faithful supporter of escorts here, and it is much appreciated. But, one might draw the line at suggesting becoming an escort without some indicated that the student is a little interested as a part time job.

[marylander1940]

You are faithful supporter of escorts here, and it is much appreciated. But, one might draw the line at suggesting becoming an escort without some indicated that the student is a little interested as a part time job.

 

You got the point, right? Stripper...?

 

He can sleep at a friend's sofa and he'll figure it out how to get a part time job or full time job for a year and go to school after. He can also go to community college.

[Walker1]

Two things. Dad is simply horrible and bigoted. But why does the kid have to go to this college? Community college is not bad, get some skills. Lot of kids from financially disadvantaged backgrounds make tough choices everyday.

 

Now the dad/stepmom are known gay is a choice fools . Must be tough living with them. But there are kids whose single parent died of cancer or is on drugs and end up in foster care and at 18 boom-considered an adult.

[+ WilliamM]

You got the point, right? Stripper...?

 

He can sleep at a friend's sofa and he'll figure it out how to get a part time job or full time job for a year and go to school after. He can also go to community college.

 

Yes, he could transfer to a four year college after two years at a junior college. What are the potential problems: selecting courses without much knowledge of the professors; friendships are usually established by the end of the sophomore year; college would be an adjustment after Junior college.

 

I suggest a job for year before starting college.

[instudiocity]

The rest of the story...

 

Not kicked out.,,

Manipulating to get a $275K education...

Step-Mom is on Real Housewife...

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/son-of-former-real-housewives-husband-jim-marchese-says-father-refuses-to-pay-college-tuition-because-hes-gay-002854452.html

[MrMattBig]

Complicated and tough.

My opinion teenagers should start learning how to function as responsible independent adults at 16 or so to prepare them for the "real world".

If he is going to be ultimately cut off from his family financially, he should defer enrollment to get himself grounded and stable and go him against the world the next year.

[Walker1]

Fair enough 275k is a lot for an education when there are 4 other siblings the parents have to provide for. So his birth mother won't co-sign for the loan and that seems to be fine by him-only dad and step mom who have 4 younger siblings have to co sign?

[MscleLovr]

I agree that the way this story was originally presented was almost designed to trigger our sympathy. The truth is clearly much more nuanced.

 

Much of life in general requires hard choices and hard work, unfortunately. I am amazed at the self-absorption that says Others will Surely Pay for Me.

 

I thought I’d seen the worst or best example of this when a young wannabe model/actor with a lean, defined physique in LA that I met once informed me of his GoFundMe. He was seeking $50k for “support for a year including eating properly, paying all the bills etc” since he couldn’t work, as it was “so time-consuming” to “be in shape and be well-turned out” for castings etc.

[instudiocity]

Fair enough 275k is a lot for an education when there are 4 other siblings the parents have to provide for. So his birth mother won't co-sign for the loan and that seems to be fine by him-only dad and step mom who have 4 younger siblings have to co sign?

Birth mom CANNOT co-sign the loan