EFFEMINATE VS MASCULINE

[+ oldNbusted]

We went from claims of masculinity to claims of normal. Like anyone on this board is anywhere near 'normal'.

[marylander1940]

 

I had a friend called Lee who passed away a couple of years ago. Every time he talked to a call center he would introduce himself as Mr. Lee because he got tired of being called Ma'am over the phone. Once he even told me "I'm not Rambo but why Indian guys think I'm a woman over the phone?". I told him it was the language barrier... He was a closeted Republican lobbyist...

[+ harey]

I don't particularly care and wish whether someone is masc or femme wasn't such a big deal. It's not just a preference. There's a prejudice. Otherwise the question wouldn't need to be asked, as I knew before reading the answers what they would look like.

 

Give me a femme guy who dances around his room naked and models gender neutral clothes (with an Instagram post saying "am I a boy or a girl? I am a man!" ) any day.

Agreed, this thread seems riddled with prejudice. The assumption that there is something wrong when a man (straight or Gay) shows feminine traits is very disappointing. It’s disheartening to consider how much homophobia and misogyny persist in the Gay community. How will we teach the straights to accept us when our own house is not in order?

[gilbert]

To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts?

All of the above?

[TruthBTold]

It was funny. I saw Andrew Scott (Dr. Moriarty on the PBS Sherlock Holmes) on the Graham Norton Show recently. I always had a thing for him. I never thought he was particularly masculine or feminine and always assumed he was straight. Actually for no particular reason (tho I hoped he was not because I was sure that he would automatically want me - ). At any rate, during the show he was recounting that in his new movie there were a lot of car chases but he had to admit to everyone that he cannot drive - not for physical or legal reasons. He just does not. I for some reason just assumed that he must be gay because I never knew anyone that could not drive that was also gay (like me). So I went online and in fact he is gay. And has a partner. Still not sure why he does not drive.

 

Edited June 18, 2019 by TruthBTold

[Walker1]

I would ask myself the following question:

 

Do people assuming you're gay right after meeting you?

 

I'm shocked about how many effeminate guys who think they can pass as straight, as I pointed before most of them are slightly homophobic.

I have been effemenite since I was a child. People called me gay and made fun of me. I grew up in a place where no one ever talked about being "gay." But I was only attracted to men-strong, muscular handsome men. I am actually less effeminate now, but still very feminine in who I am. I actually feel far more comfortable with women, not a sports fan and just attracted to men.

 

Though recently have become slightly curious about women-just never tried anything.

 

I wonder if all of us have aspects of the masculine and feminine that we exhibit at different times.

 

Oh and as far as hiring-must have muscles, built and studly and masculine.

[Deadlift1]

I like masculine and feminine men. My only issue is that feminine men have a tendency to never know when to STFU! Thanks fin.

[adventurous old guy]

This thread is interesting to me, because I see myself as having both very stereotypical masculine and feminine traits. It makes me feel strong and free not to conform. Hope this doesn't come off as bragging in some way, it's just how I see me and feel. I first realized this in college when a hetero ("allegedly," as Kathy Griffin would note) couple of married professors who saw themselves as "swingers" tried to get me in bed by saying how "androgynous" they found me. What can I say, it was the 70s. It didn't work, but I came out of that interaction going, yeah, androgynous, I'll own that.

 

And who knows, my college profs might have just wanted to get me out of my pants because I have a big dick, something that seems to have interested them both. OK, this might board on bragging.

 

Anyway, what's also interesting to me is that i have four friends -- four, that seems like a lot here in the midwest-- who have kids who won't conform to traditional gender stereotypes. We have a lot to learn from the freedom this crop of gender-busting youngsters feel to challenge masculine/feminine as an old paradigm that just doesn't fit the wider range of human characteristics.

Edited June 18, 2019 by adventurous old guy

[MscleLovr]

Still not sure why he does not drive

 

You need to meet more young people @TruthBTold ;-)

 

IMO it’s a combination of millennials living in big cities with good public transport and the ease of Uber etc. In Europe especially, many young people do not drive and are not interested in learning.

[TruthBTold]

You need to meet more young people @TruthBTold ;-)

IMO it’s a combination of millennials living in big cities with good public transport and the ease of Uber etc. In Europe especially, many young people do not drive and are not interested in learning.

 

No doubt with that MscleLovr. However he also implied that he was unusual in that he did not even know how to drive (nor do I). Most people (especially straight men) at least seem to know how to drive but given their particular circumstances do not do so, e.g., as you mention great public transportation or having their license taken away because of a court order. I can't because of epilepsy but I think the world is a much better place that I do not. I wonder if the European school systems require students to take classes to learn how to drive as they at least used to require. I think that the whole system is changed now to reduce costs.

[+ WilliamM]

You need to meet more young people @TruthBTold ;-)

 

IMO it’s a combination of millennials living in big cities with good public transport and the ease of Uber etc. In Europe especially, many young people do not drive and are not interested in learning.

 

I know many young people from auditng courses at the University of Pennsylvania for ten years. That concept that young people do not know how to drive is right. But, I totally disagree about a lack of interest in learning. You can not rely on friends or Uber for everything.

 

When I was stationed in Vietnam, I was very glad I knew how to drive a Jeep with a stick shift. That jeep was the one true life line I had. And I never expected to be in the army or Vietnam

[MscleLovr]

I wonder if the European school systems require students to take classes to learn how to drive

 

I’m not aware of any EU country’s school system requiring students to learn. If someone wants to learn, and is of the minimum age to hold a provisional licence, you usually go to a commercial enterprise, a “driving school”, for registration and lessons on theory and practice with a qualified instructor. Most EU countries have a two-part exam testing theoretical knowledge and driving skills separately.

[TruthBTold]

I’m not aware of any EU country’s school system requiring students to learn. If someone wants to learn, and is of the minimum age to hold a provisional licence, you usually go to a commercial enterprise, a “driving school”, for registration and lessons on theory and practice with a qualified instructor. Most EU countries have a two-part exam testing theoretical knowledge and driving skills separately.

 

Thanks. That is interesting. A theoretical aspect and a practical aspect. I suppose that can make sense. You can go and take the test on theory and pass it and if you do not have access to a car take that aspect of the test when and if you want to.

[+ WilliamM]

Thanks. That is interesting. A theoretical aspect and a practical aspect. I suppose that can make sense. You can go and take the test on theory and pass it and if you do not have access to a car take that aspect of the test when and if you want to.

 

Most states here have the same requirements. Usually the two go together.

[+ Snbrd]

I am defiantly not politically correct. I don't like being told that certain thoughts, opinions or preferences are no longer valid. Having said that, I honestly have no preference where someone falls on the effeminate/butch scale. Some play up and some play off how they're perceived for a laugh with friends. There are more than a few things I find appealing or appalling but whether you swish or swagger you're OK with me.

[marylander1940]

I have been effemenite since I was a child. People called me gay and made fun of me. I grew up in a place where no one ever talked about being "gay." But I was only attracted to men-strong, muscular handsome men. I am actually less effeminate now, but still very feminine in who I am. I actually feel far more comfortable with women, not a sports fan and just attracted to men.

 

Though recently have become slightly curious about women-just never tried anything.

 

I wonder if all of us have aspects of the masculine and feminine that we exhibit at different times.

 

Oh and as far as hiring-must have muscles, built and studly and masculine.

 

your honesty is refreshing!

 

I know for a fact at least 2 of guys who posted on here calling themselves masculine can't pass as straight guys.

[+ quoththeraven]

Hypo that's your opinion and you have a right to it I guess. I just know I am me. I dont have to try to "act" like any particular group to try to fit in.

But you idealize people who fit in a mold that is based on the straight world's ideal, so all I can say is "huh"?

[Gymowner]

It's not an ideal.. it's a natural way that they present themselves. Ask any woman and a real man in all his glory drives them wild everytime. I for one totally agree. How it is.

[TruthBTold]

It's not an ideal.. it's a natural way that they present themselves. Ask any woman and a real man in all his glory drives them wild everytime. I for one totally agree. How it is.

 

Well that's not entirely true. I think if you ask women they much prefer the qualities of other women, i.e., empathy, sympathy, and a sexuality that is soft and natural. I think they would say they do not prefer sexualities that are aggressive and hard. Right now real men "in all their glory" unfortunately have been raised to believe that aggressiveness is what a real man should be.

[Gymowner]

i cant disagree with you more.

[+ Gar1eth]

Well that's not entirely true. I think if you ask women they much prefer the qualities of other women, i.e., empathy, sympathy, and a sexuality that is soft and natural. I think they would say they do not prefer sexualities that are aggressive and hard. Right now real men "in all their glory" unfortunately have been raised to believe that aggressiveness is what a real man should be.

 

I'm sure you'll find some women wanting a softer male, and others wanting someone more assertive.

 

But of course it's not just males. Looking at the other side of things-the 'butch' lesbian comes to mind.

 

Some of these behaviors are probably learned -but there has to be a strong biological component from looking at usual m/f roles in the animal kingdom.

 

Gman

[+ José Soplanucas]

It's not an ideal.. it's a natural way that they present themselves. Ask any woman and a real man in all his glory drives them wild everytime. I for one totally agree. How it is.

 

Of course! It is natural!

http://thesweetsetup.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/img1.gif

[Moe]

I prefer masculine men. I am more submissive and growing up I have never really had a masculine role model around, so I guess that's why I crave it so much now. I especially love military men.

[+ Gar1eth]

I like what I consider 'normal'. I don't want a guy with a lot of feminine mannerisms. On the other hand I am not interested in an overly macho guy whose every other word is a 'cuss-word' and who is overly abrasive.

 

Gman

[Gymowner]

Absolutely gman. Natural baby... natural!!