Faggot again - 30 years later

[kjb176]

What has changed in thirty years to be once again be called a "faggot" twice in one year? I'm a fifty-nine year old gay male. I realized in my early teens that I had a greater interest sexually in men than women. Back in the late 70's early 80's my small town posse would travel out of our small town enclave weekend nights to Baltimore or D.C. for large urban gay clubs of acceptance, dancing and fun. Retreating back to my small town daily life from the big city would occasionally solicit a whisper or shout out directed to me from a stranger to remind me that I was a "faggot." My entire life I never really dressed flamboyant or talked effeminate. I somewhat consider the word "faggot" derogatory and equivalent to the "N" word or well.....fill in the many other derogatory words to reduce others to their benefit. It wasn't comfortable to hear such derogatory language back in the day but I discounted it as sign of the times. The 70's and 80's. You know. Fast forward the last twenty years I resided in Manhattan. Considered an enclave of liberalism and acceptance of cultures and lifestyles. I have done quite well for myself financially working for a large global company. And I have not heard the work "faggot" directed to me in thirty years since my small town living. Twice though in the last year - once from a latina women and again just today shouted from a passing car driver as I was walking down the street - I was verbally assaulted with the word "faggot". I never looked at the driver. Didn't want to give him the benefit of my expression of irritation. But should I discount such infantile behavior to the era of Trump and his over confident base, or are there other forces going on in our underlying society to suggest truly lack of gay acceptance? I really so confused over this recent phenomena, and think perhaps the solution is retreating to back to my small town life as the potential solution.

[+ Topseed]

Retreat? Never. Then the terrorists win.

 

Go ahead and call me “faggot”. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about me as long as what I’m doing is 1) legal, and 2) moral. I don’t give other people votes on what I do, with whom, or where.

 

Actually, I do have a preference for “Mr. Faggot”. ?

[marylander1940]

Hate crimes (of all kinds and levels) are on the rise because Trump's election. Don't retreat, fight back.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I've had similar thoughts as you @kjb176. After Trump was elected, the racists and homophobes act as if their hatred has been validated. Like Ellen Page warned on Colbert recently, people need to "connect the dots."

 

I am sorry to hear such behavior was directed at you. I do question if small town life is the answer, though I don't claim to have the answers. Thankfully there are plenty of cool people that are available for gay men to socialize with compared to 30 years ago, right? Whenever I feel down about how many a-holes live where I live, I try to focus on how many noble, good people are around me.

[+ sync]

Don't let it get to you. The Trump plague has excreted the worst of the worst from under their rocks. Racism, homophobia, ageism, and elitism are experiencing a revival that I believe will be short lived. After the 2020 elections we will know how good or how bad our future will be.

[+ nycman]

It’s a word.

 

It only has the power you give to it.

 

In my case....I’m a faggot...and proud of it!

[TruthBTold]

What has changed in thirty years to be once again be called a "faggot" twice in one year? I'm a fifty-nine year old gay male. I realized in my early teens that I had a greater interest sexually in men than women. Back in the late 70's early 80's my small town posse would travel out of our small town enclave weekend nights to Baltimore or D.C. for large urban gay clubs of acceptance, dancing and fun. Retreating back to my small town daily life from the big city would occasionally solicit a whisper or shout out directed to me from a stranger to remind me that I was a "faggot." My entire life I never really dressed flamboyant or talked effeminate. I somewhat consider the word "faggot" derogatory and equivalent to the "N" word or well.....fill in the many other derogatory words to reduce others to their benefit. It wasn't comfortable to hear such derogatory language back in the day but I discounted it as sign of the times. The 70's and 80's. You know. Fast forward the last twenty years I resided in Manhattan. Considered an enclave of liberalism and acceptance of cultures and lifestyles. I have done quite well for myself financially working for a large global company. And I have not heard the work "faggot" directed to me in thirty years since my small town living. Twice though in the last year - once from a latina women and again just today shouted from a passing car driver as I was walking down the street - I was verbally assaulted with the word "faggot". I never looked at the driver. Didn't want to give him the benefit of my expression of irritation. But should I discount such infantile behavior to the era of Trump and his over confident base, or are there other forces going on in our underlying society to suggest truly lack of gay acceptance? I really so confused over this recent phenomena, and think perhaps the solution is retreating to back to my small town life as the potential solution.

 

You should be irritated by the incidents. From the circumstances it sounds as if they were not spoken as compliments or in a spirit of playfulness. Of course you do not have to let the perpetrators behavior control your actions as long as it is only speech. It sounds that you are comfortable in your sexuality and that is the main thing. I agree with everyone that Trump has made it much easier for people to feel that they can verbally accost those they disdain. I mean, he felt comfortable making fun of a disabled individual knowing there would be no repercussions from his sycophants. There isn't much you can do as long as it is speech.

[rvwnsd]

A couple of observations:

 

• I'm sorry you were called "faggot" by two random strangers. Whether or not you dress flamboyantly or speak effeminately there is no justification for that behavior.
  
• In this very forum members have criticized "political correctness," a term I don't like when it refers to the simple act of being polite and civil. Not sure how we can simultaneously despise "political correctness" and the use of the word "faggot."
  

[+ purplekow]

As described, a driver randomly and without provocation calls you a faggot. His scattershot approach to name calling is as disturbing as anything he might yell. That kind of anger and the mindless ability to let it loose on people at will is truly disheartening and leaves me questioning where we are headed as a civilized society. That he chose faggot as his insult of choice speaks to the existence of a minority of Americans who refuse to accept gay life style as anything but abhorrent.

So while I believe you should just recognize his ignorance for that which it is, I cannot deny that this event is symptomatic of a real and possible change in tolerance, even in big cities which have been relatively safe harbors in the past.

[Monarchy79]

All:

Please be aware that attacks and hate crimes are on the rise as well.

 

You must protect yourselves...

whether it’s mace, a taser, box cutter, or a firearm, you must be armed in these streets with something.. because one yell of the “F” word, could result in a brutal attack.

[+ purplekow]

I'm sorry for your confusion and your experience with these people calling you names.

 

But why do you attribute it to trump where he had expressed, as far back as 20 yrs ago, vocal support for gay rights?

 

I think there are other forces that were always there, including - among other things - immigration bringing people with different cultural values, into our society.

Different culture values than whom?

The Charlottesville car driver? Perhaps the Sandy Hook shooter?

[TruthBTold]

I'm sorry for your confusion and your experience with these people calling you names.

But why do you attribute it to trump where he had expressed, as far back as 20 yrs ago, vocal support for gay rights?

I think there are other forces that were always there, including - among other things - immigration bringing people with different cultural values, into our society.

 

Part of the reason may be because the President has over the years voiced or demonstrated disdain for many of the less fortunate, i.e., women, the disabled, racial minorities, religious minorities, the transgendered, etc. While he may have voiced at one time for gay rights, sometimes people can't (or won't) discern among the various groups and feel it fair to discriminate and/or attack everyone they wish. The President seldom, if ever, comes out and defends any group.

[+ Travis69]

But why do you attribute it to trump where he had expressed, as far back as 20 yrs ago, vocal support for gay rights?

Has trump acknowledged June as Gay Pride month since in office? I won't even ask you about Pence.

[LaffingBear]

I personally don't believe Trump causes it.

 

My hypothesis is that we've moved into an era of unrestricted reaction, or impulse behavior. The cellphone addiction both reinforces and exemplifies it. Its ok to say outrageous things, ok for kids to shame and bully on social media. Trump legitimizes it with his tweets, and has helped kill basic civility.

 

Is hate and intolerance on the rise? I believe so, or at least expressions of hate are permissable.

 

We also have moved into an era where attention-seeking behavior is a legitimate pasttime or even a career.

 

Humans are impressionable. The more we see hate and violence; the more we are conditioned to communicate without consequence; the more people behave in a manner thats intended to shock and draw attention..... the more prevalent insulting behavior becomes.

[+ purplekow]

Well, to be frank, the OP identified one woman as

 

Well to be honest, I do not consider, in general, a Latina woman to be of a culture different than I am. Perhaps some of us are more inclusive and some of us less so. I will say, I do consider anyone of any ethnicity who shouts Faggot to be of a different culture than I am.

As far as countries that outlaw homosexuality, about a dozen states in the United States still have sodomy laws on the books.

Edited February 18, 2019 by purplekow

[+ Travis69]

Over 70 countries - nearly all in Africa, the Middle East, or Indonesian - still outlaw homosexuality.

Add USA to the list if Pence and "mother" have their way. THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

[TruthBTold]

I personally don't believe Trump causes it.

 

My hypothesis is that we've moved into an era of unrestricted reaction, or impulse behavior. The cellphone addiction both reinforces and exemplifies it. Its ok to say outrageous things, ok for kids to shame and bully on social media. Trump legitimizes it with his tweets, and has helped kill basic civility.

 

Is hate and intolerance on the rise? I believe so, or at least expressions of hate are permissable.

 

We also have moved into an era where attention-seeking behavior is a legitimate pasttime or even a career.

 

Humans are impressionable. The more we see hate and violence; the more we are conditioned to communicate without consequence; the more people behave in a manner thats intended to shock and draw attention..... the more prevalent insulting behavior becomes.

 

Generally I agree with you. However a nation and its people often will follow its leaders and the poorer the behavior of its leaders often the poorer the behavior of its people. The flip side is often true also. During eras where the emphasis was on helping one another there was more of an emphasis on providing for those less fortunate and changing behavior to be less degrading. Of course, bad behavior continued but much of it was changed because the citizens looked to its leadership.

[hypothetically]

What has changed in thirty years to be once again be called a "faggot" twice in one year? I'm a fifty-nine year old gay male. I realized in my early teens that I had a greater interest sexually in men than women. Back in the late 70's early 80's my small town posse would travel out of our small town enclave weekend nights to Baltimore or D.C. for large urban gay clubs of acceptance, dancing and fun. Retreating back to my small town daily life from the big city would occasionally solicit a whisper or shout out directed to me from a stranger to remind me that I was a "faggot." My entire life I never really dressed flamboyant or talked effeminate. I somewhat consider the word "faggot" derogatory and equivalent to the "N" word or well.....fill in the many other derogatory words to reduce others to their benefit. It wasn't comfortable to hear such derogatory language back in the day but I discounted it as sign of the times. The 70's and 80's. You know. Fast forward the last twenty years I resided in Manhattan. Considered an enclave of liberalism and acceptance of cultures and lifestyles. I have done quite well for myself financially working for a large global company. And I have not heard the work "faggot" directed to me in thirty years since my small town living. Twice though in the last year - once from a latina women and again just today shouted from a passing car driver as I was walking down the street - I was verbally assaulted with the word "faggot". I never looked at the driver. Didn't want to give him the benefit of my expression of irritation. But should I discount such infantile behavior to the era of Trump and his over confident base, or are there other forces going on in our underlying society to suggest truly lack of gay acceptance? I really so confused over this recent phenomena, and think perhaps the solution is retreating to back to my small town life as the potential solution.

 

Being called the “n word” and a “faggot” are nowhere near equivalent, but let’s stay on topic.

 

As stated by someone above, it is simply a word, one which you have given power. I think maybe because of its heavy usage during a previous time you maybe have some traumas associated with the word. I personaly wouldn’t flinch nor be offended if someone called me a faggot. I’d likely rely “...correct.” It’s not your problem, it’s the person’s who hurled the word at you.

[+ FreshFluff]

Hard to believe people still do this in Manhattan of all places. They’ll be Twitter famous before long.

[Guy Fawkes]

In my younger years, I found that those that yelled faggot the loudest where the ones that was easiest to play with.

[Kenny]

What has changed in thirty years to be once again be called a "faggot" twice in one year? I'm a fifty-nine year old gay male. I realized in my early teens that I had a greater interest sexually in men than women. Back in the late 70's early 80's my small town posse would travel out of our small town enclave weekend nights to Baltimore or D.C. for large urban gay clubs of acceptance, dancing and fun. Retreating back to my small town daily life from the big city would occasionally solicit a whisper or shout out directed to me from a stranger to remind me that I was a "faggot." My entire life I never really dressed flamboyant or talked effeminate. I somewhat consider the word "faggot" derogatory and equivalent to the "N" word or well.....fill in the many other derogatory words to reduce others to their benefit. It wasn't comfortable to hear such derogatory language back in the day but I discounted it as sign of the times. The 70's and 80's. You know. Fast forward the last twenty years I resided in Manhattan. Considered an enclave of liberalism and acceptance of cultures and lifestyles. I have done quite well for myself financially working for a large global company. And I have not heard the work "faggot" directed to me in thirty years since my small town living. Twice though in the last year - once from a latina women and again just today shouted from a passing car driver as I was walking down the street - I was verbally assaulted with the word "faggot". I never looked at the driver. Didn't want to give him the benefit of my expression of irritation. But should I discount such infantile behavior to the era of Trump and his over confident base, or are there other forces going on in our underlying society to suggest truly lack of gay acceptance? I really so confused over this recent phenomena, and think perhaps the solution is retreating to back to my small town life as the potential solution.

1. Blame Trumpism, which has given permission for public displays of bigotry.

2. Work to defeat Trump and his allies at the polls. You will feel/be empowered.

3. Ignore @BnaC , a Trumpist troll and self-loathing homosexual.

Edited February 19, 2019 by Kenny

[Kenny]

But why do you attribute it to trump where he had expressed, as far back as 20 yrs ago, vocal support for gay rights?

? ? ? ? ?

[rocky]

What has changed in thirty years to be once again be called a "faggot" twice in one year? I'm a fifty-nine year old gay male. I realized in my early teens that I had a greater interest sexually in men than women. Back in the late 70's early 80's my small town posse would travel out of our small town enclave weekend nights to Baltimore or D.C. for large urban gay clubs of acceptance, dancing and fun. Retreating back to my small town daily life from the big city would occasionally solicit a whisper or shout out directed to me from a stranger to remind me that I was a "faggot." My entire life I never really dressed flamboyant or talked effeminate. I somewhat consider the word "faggot" derogatory and equivalent to the "N" word or well.....fill in the many other derogatory words to reduce others to their benefit. It wasn't comfortable to hear such derogatory language back in the day but I discounted it as sign of the times. The 70's and 80's. You know. Fast forward the last twenty years I resided in Manhattan. Considered an enclave of liberalism and acceptance of cultures and lifestyles. I have done quite well for myself financially working for a large global company. And I have not heard the work "faggot" directed to me in thirty years since my small town living. Twice though in the last year - once from a latina women and again just today shouted from a passing car driver as I was walking down the street - I was verbally assaulted with the word "faggot". I never looked at the driver. Didn't want to give him the benefit of my expression of irritation. But should I discount such infantile behavior to the era of Trump and his over confident base, or are there other forces going on in our underlying society to suggest truly lack of gay acceptance? I really so confused over this recent phenomena, and think perhaps the solution is retreating to back to my small town life as the potential solution.

why would anyone just randomly toss that out to you??