Massage Pet Peeves

[starman05]

I can overlook some stuff (as long as the massage is satisfactory).

 

But one thing I really dislike is when I walk in and there are NO sheets on the massage table.

 

What's your massage pet peeve?

[+ E.T.Bass]

I don't want a massage by a smoker, and I don't want tobacco smoke in the room, which could sort of go hand in hand Both are deal breakers for me.

[Dmitri]

Unprofessional masseurs with NO massage talent, who think they can charge outrageous hourly fees based solely on their hot looks. They open the door, strike a pose, put you on the massage table set up in the living room, show NO massage skills at all, and feel charging $180/hr for a quick rub and tug is justified since they are so hot. They do a lame 40 minute hour and rush you out the door afterwards, thinking it is all okay since they are so good looking.

[ontheroad]

1. When it’s not “clear” that the table has a fresh towel.

 

2. Paper towels to “wipe off” after the massage or bathroom towel that seems to be used before.

 

3. Shorting of time.

 

4. Pitch black room when he undresses and does the massage.

 

5. Checking computer or cell phone for messages. Or ringing phone.

 

6. Too much talking about nonsense.

 

7. Too cold room temp.

 

8. Late.

 

9. Bad breath or smelly body.

 

10. Too eager to do a rub and tug and be over with the massage.

 

11. Endless rubbing in one spot or monotonous massage.

 

12. While face down suddenly sticking his cock in ear, hair, or on my face in the hopes I will turn to suck him—all with no prodding.

[Monarchy79]

In no particular order:

1. Bad breath

2. Disposable massage covers (feels like toilet paper covers, and sticks to your skin)

3. The use of baby oil

4. Toilet paper or paper towel offered post-massage

5. Dirty environment (i.e. clutter, visible junk, dirty bathroom, etc.)

6. Music that’s not relaxing

7. Loquaciousness during the massage (won’t be able to zone out)

8. Being short-changed on time

9. Bad hygiene

10. No massage skills at all

[+ ButchAtl]

Number one for me is the phone...any use at all....texting, emailing, talking, etc.

[+ HornyRetiree]

I have been pretty lucky! Probably due to good vetting if seeking a new Masseur AND because I stick to my tried and true Masseurs until they retire or move! So much easier when the masseur is known and knows you!

 

I will NEVER work with anyone who will not work nude on nude! Period, end of discussion! I also need a Masseur who will release me at the end of the session. Good HJ is fine but I have found w/o exception that this evolves quickly to oral:)

 

Beyond that - there can be bonuses once massage is over:)... All this goes along with requirement thatthe Masseur have Real Technical skills-- I need the benefits of a real massage --

[Deadlift1]

outside noise

no bathroom close to the table

heterosexual therapists

Cats!

[Gvtire]

When you think a hot muscular stud is going to give you a sensual//erotic massage and this is what shows up

[dcguy20]

This subject has been discussed at length in another thread. Now if only I could find it and post the link!

[+ glutes]

due dil·i·gence

noun

LAW

1. reasonable steps taken by a person in order to satisfy a legal requirement, especially in buying or selling something.
   
   • a comprehensive appraisal of a business undertaken by a prospective buyer, especially to establish its assets and liabilities and evaluate its commercial potential.
     

[Kinected]

This subject has been discussed at length in another thread. Now if only I could find it and post the link!

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/masseur-best-practices.137163/

[+ nycman]

Nothing screams “amateur” like pouring oil directly on my body.

 

You just KNOW it’s going to be a crappy massage.

[Tarheelboy214]

I agree with all that have been mentioned before and add:

 

dirty socks/shoes

Pets in the room

Other people in the house/apartment (if getting a massage in his home)

[Admittance]

What is the issue with getting paper towel after? Im confused on that one

[Smurof]

I've had a paper towel after once. When I really want that "I know I'm a human but go ahead and treat me like a spill" experience....

[Guest JakeAsherXXX]

I HATE the phone use. I feel like he might be taking pics of me!

Also, when they don't eat you out. It's like HELLO, I TOOK THE TIME TO CLEAN THE HOLE FOR AN HOUR, NOW GO DOWN.

[Guest InthePines]

Nothing screams “amateur” like pouring oil directly on my body.

 

You just KNOW it’s going to be a crappy massage.

 

I think it's a good indicator they learned their massage skills from watching porn.

[+ azdr0710]

Nothing screams “amateur” like pouring oil directly on my body.

 

You just KNOW it’s going to be a crappy massage.

.

 

sorry to be an "amateur", but how are they supposed to do it??

.

[Bluefin]

.

 

sorry to be an "amateur", but how are they supposed to do it??

.

 

Pour into their hands and rub together to warm it up. The oil can feel cold and be a bit of a shock when it’s just poured directly onto skin.

 

Having said that it kind of turns me on because it’s a mini sneak preview of where his hands are going to touch me next. Especially like when I feel it running down my crack

[ontheroad]

I generally agree although I did have a masseur recently drip it in my butt crack which was kind of hot. And another recently put is cock in my hand and dripped the oil into his cock Whole my hand was on it.

[Guest InthePines]

I generally agree although I did have a masseur recently drip it in my butt crack which was kind of hot. .

 

That is hot, unless the oil isn't water soluble. Then you're left with a slippery slope for two days.

 

I suppose that's it really, in that it's not how the oil is applied, but rather the quality of the product that's more important.

 

Another peeve is a masseur who forgets the fifteenth session is on some level as important as the first. Some are the best masseurs, yet after an extended period begin to arrive unprepared, become clock watchers, or omit details of their service that originally set them apart from their competition.

[+ Travis69]

Sounds like what some people see as a pet peeve others love. I feel sorry for masseurs trying to figure out who likes what, when, where and for how long. They deserve a raise.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Pour into their hands and rub together to warm it up. The oil can feel cold and be a bit of a shock when it’s just poured directly onto skin.

 

However, if the massage therapist warms the oil first, isn't pouring the oil directly on the skin the appropriate thing to do?

[+ nycman]

However, if the massage therapist warms the oil first, isn't pouring the oil directly on the skin the appropriate thing to do?

I think it's a matter of personal preference and WHERE said oil is being poured.

 

I could see having it drizzled on my ass crack could be fun (even then only if warmed).

 

It's really not a big issue. If I like the guy otherwise, then I ask him not to pour oil directly on me.

Most true professionals really appreciate the feedback. They're not mind readers.

If I hate other aspects of the massage as well, I just caulk it up to experience, and keep my mouth shut.