Canceling due to sickness

[marylander1940]

@marylander1940, I posted escort reviews here beginning in 2000.

 

I signed the reviews with my then street address so that the escort agency, Premier, could identify me.

 

No need for that I trust you!

 

You’ve been posting on here since July 2011 I started posting in November 2012 when I retired

[+ WilliamM]

@marylander1940, we disagree, but I should not have made it personal.

[Seymour Butts]

I have TWICE had escorts last-minute (ie less than 24 hours) cancel on me because they were sick. Should I get a discount if I choose to see them again? The idea never even crossed my mind!

[hypothetically]

You've been on here 1 year longer than me, that's not much...

 

I've read about guys sending cancellations fees and even paying in full plenty of times!

 

Here you have, thank God I found it searching the word "bragging"

 

I’ve had this happen to me on more than one occasion. Client A understands the stress surrounding our line of work, empathize and pay if they cancel (because they can afford to and they want to). Client B simply does not give a shit and can not afford to or wants to. It is that simple.

 

Forgive me for sidetracking. Per the OP’s question. While I don’t think you should have stalled. No big deal. If he was in town working regardless, he should have had other clients lined up. This is the attitude of someone who maybe didn’t plan accordingly or wasn’t having a good run while in town, otherwise he wouldn’t have made a stink about you canceling if there was more work readily avaible. This is not your problem.

[marylander1940]

I’ve had this happen to me on more than one occasion. Client A understands the stress surrounding our line of work, empathize and pay if they cancel (because they can afford to and they want to). Client B simply does not give a shit and can not afford to or wants to. It is that simple.

 

Forgive me for sidetracking. Per the OP’s question. While I don’t think you should have stalled. No big deal. If he was in town working regardless, he should have had other clients lined up. This is the attitude of someone who maybe didn’t plan accordingly or wasn’t having a good run while in town, otherwise he wouldn’t have made a stink about you canceling if there was more work readily avaible. This is not your problem.

 

I'll mention the OP @kaboom35 so he gets your comment

[+ Eric Hassan]

I'm sorry the escort didn't respond gracefully. It can be frustrating when someone cancels an appointment, especially when the circumstances seem suspect, but it doesn't seem helpful to me to go off on someone about that aspect of this business.

 

Personally, I suspect sometimes "I'm not feeling well" is code for I don't have the money to pay you, or I am not so horny anymore and don't want to connect, or I found someone else I'd rather hang with, or my husband/wife/partner isn't going to be gone like I thought they were, or maybe I am actually sick. I don't really care what the reason is because I like to mind my own business, and let others mind theirs - it's not my job to get to the bottom of things when someone cancels.

 

That said, if you are legit sick (or feeling like you might not have the money, or not certain if you want to go through with it) communicate as soon as you can. If you're uncertain, say so. "I feel like I might be getting sick with a cold. I don't want to get you sick on our appointment tomorrow night, but I'm not certain what this is. I'll check in tomorrow to let you know if I can keep the appointment." This sort of "heads up" goes a long way.

 

Also, I do not think it's necessary to pay for an appointment that you cancel unless the escort has or will incur costs. For example, if you were to see a show with the escort and he bought tickets, pay him for the cost of the tickets if you cancel.

[adventurous old guy]

Also, I do not think it's necessary to pay for an appointment that you cancel unless the escort has or will incur costs. For example, if you were to see a show with the escort and he bought tickets, pay him for the cost of the tickets if you cancel.

 

Curious that you don't factor in lost opportunity costs. If the escort is holding an appt time for a client who cancels, quote possibly he turned down or did not respond to other requests, right? At least that's the presumption I make. Might be projecting from my own consulting business, where this is the behavior code.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Curious that you don't factor in lost opportunity costs. If the escort is holding an appt time for a client who cancels, quote possibly he turned down or did not respond to other requests, right? At least that's the presumption I make. Might be projecting from my own consulting business, where this is the behavior code.

 

At the end of the day, the client is saving the escort from getting sick and losing even more income in the long run.

 

Sure, it's not fun taking a financial hit, but if decent notice is given, I don't see how that's such a terrible thing.

[cany10011]

At the end of the day, the client is saving the escort from getting sick and losing even more income in the long run.

 

Sure, it's not fun taking a financial hit, but if decent notice is given, I don't see how that's such a terrible thing.

 

The converse is also true. An escort who i booked recently came to me with a cough and a pink eye. Not sure why he didn't reschedule. I just asked for a massage. He was a nice guy and I'll rebook once he is better.

[adventurous old guy]

At the end of the day, the client is saving the escort from getting sick and losing even more income in the long run.

 

Sure, it's not fun taking a financial hit, but if decent notice is given, I don't see how that's such a terrible thing.

To clarify, notice time is a qualifier for me. If I were to cancel early in the day for an evening appt, I probably wouldn't feel obliged to compensate. Haven't faced that -- mine have been because of late flights or work events that go longer than expected.

[bostonman]

I think generally this is something that's a case by case situation. An escort is going to either believe that you're sick, or he won't - and if he doesn't, there's really not much you can do about it.

 

My first pro escort had to cancel on me because (if I recall correctly) he threw his back out. I believed him, because we had already had a very nice honest conversation through email, and it just didn't seem that he would play games. And indeed, we rescheduled for when he felt back to normal, and had a great time.

 

A few months ago, I almost cancelled on an escort that has become a wonderful regular for me when he's in the area - because I was feeling a little under the weather. (I can't remember now if I was getting over a cold, or just catching one, lol, but I think it was the former.) He said he was fine with meeting if I wanted to, and he wasn't worried about catching anything. We met, and I'm so glad we did. But again, w'eve been together a number of times, so there's a trust element there.

 

The only other time I can think of when I cancelled on someone after setting up an appointment time, was with an escort who was only in town for a short time on a weekend. We set up a morning session (which is never my preference, but I was thinking with the wrong head lol), and he said he'd let me know what hotel he was in once he got here. The day before, he gave me the hotel info. Well, it turned out that travelling to that hotel was not going to be convenient (I wasn't into ALSO paying for a cab, and there was no direct subway route to the area). I gave it some thought and decided I couldn't meet him. I let him know (this was early Fri afternoon for a Sat morning appointment) and he got very angry, and accused me of playing games. I tried to explain the situation. I also let him know that since he was NYC based, and that I would be there in a few weeks, that I'd be glad to reschedule for then. But he wasn't hearing it. Now, in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have made the morning appointment in the first place (since I much prefer night when possible), or maybe I should have been clearer that I was relying on the subway to get to him. So I'll take some of the blame. But still, his reaction seemed rather out of line. (I understand his side of things, but still...) Which ultimately made me think that he wasn't going to be a good match for me anyway.

 

So - shit happens. And hey, if you're being honest, no matter what the response may be, at least you know you're being honest.

[+ Pensant]

Canceling last minute (within 2 hours of appointment) is bad form, but canceling the day before should be fine. He shouldn't have responded rudely in this scenario.

Is canceling 12 hours before ok?

[+ oldNbusted]

Is canceling 12 hours before ok?

 

 

It should be. There have been times when I have woken up in the morning and realized "I have a cold".

[+ E.T.Bass]

I have only canceled once. I absolutely couldn't keep the appointment and couldn't reschedule anytime soon. To this day I don't feel good about it and I expect the masseur was not too happy, although he didn't complain. He was someone new for me, so I had no cred built up with him. I wouldn't be surprised if I've landed on his "wasted my time" list. I would hate to think that one bad experience would end up getting me blackballed on some kind of masseur forum.

 

Knowing that, when I hire a masseur and the session goes bad, I never come on the forum and create a TMZ style blast about an experience, naming the masseur. At least I hope I haven't. Worst case I remind that my experience was mine, and may not reflect what others will find.

 

Bottom line is "sh!t happens." Doesn't do too much good to dwell on it.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Curious that you don't factor in lost opportunity costs. If the escort is holding an appt time for a client who cancels, quote possibly he turned down or did not respond to other requests, right? At least that's the presumption I make. Might be projecting from my own consulting business, where this is the behavior code.

 

It's not that I don't think about or factor in lost opportunities, it's more that I only have so many fucks to give, and I can't dwell on that shit. It sucks when someone cancels especially when I've told others I was unavailable. I can get really upset about it. I just have gotten to the point in my life where I can't focus on things I lost or that didn't happen or I didn't get. That mindset of lack would inform my interactions with others, and I would be not very fun because I'd be so focused on not getting burnt that I would not have space for being present and being a good provider.

[adventurous old guy]

Just a line to say I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback on this thread. Have a great day all.

[+ VictorPowers]

Yea I actually did offer to show him a picture of the back of my throat! He declined. Lol.

 

??‍♂️

He wanted an in person exam of the back of your throat. ?

[harlow]

I am putting this out there because I would love advice and maybe educate me if I did something wrong. I set up an appointment last week with a visiting escort. It seemed to be a great match and I was looking forward to the meet. The day before our meeting I woke up with a nasty sore throat. He messaged me to talk on the phone to discuss the details (as I had to book a room since neither of us could host). I stalled replying to him hopefully to see if my throat would get better. After several hours I had to tell him that I had a bad sore throat and probably getting sick regretfully couldn’t keep our appointment for the next day.

 

He did not take my canceling very well. He went off on a tangent about people flaking on him and using choice words. He said that he “gets that I’m sick” but that he’s running a business and depends on people keeping their appointments. I do see where he’s coming from but would any escort expect a client to go through with a session if they are sick? It turned out the following day I had a full blown head cold and never would have been able to be intimate with anyone. I sent a text apologizing but it was a situation that was out of my hands. He didn’t respond. Unfortunately I really liked this guy but I guess it’s obvious a meeting with him will never take place if he sees me text him again.

 

Would love any feedback about this situation.

Wow just saw this post but his happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I had to cancel for legit reasons more than 24hrs in advance and he was NOT happy. Cursed me out and told me to never contact him again. It sucks because I had an awesome time with him a few weeks before

[+ g56whiz]

You were up-front about it and that's all we can ask. The worst is when people push through, get sicker and then usually get everyone they come in contact with sick as well. That's just selfish.

 

Unless the guy was losing long-term gig kind of money, I don't see why he handled it that way: There's a certain amount of shrink you have to accept working in this industry.

One of the most gracious escorts in this regard is @Benjamin_Nicholas. He been a fantasy of mine forever. Years ago I got up the courage make this dream a reality and set up an appointment a month or so in advance. Soon after making that appointment I was to undergo a minor melanoma procedure on my back. It was not my first. The procedure turned out to be more than minor and the recovery slower than before. When I called to cancel he could not have been more gracious. Unfortunately soon after the “SOB” moved from San Antonio to Dallas and the only time this Laredean gets to Dallas is to change planes and his frequent travels don’t seem include Laredo. Someday I’ll fulfill this fantasy. I promise.

[marylander1940]

I'm sorry the escort didn't respond gracefully. It can be frustrating when someone cancels an appointment, especially when the circumstances seem suspect, but it doesn't seem helpful to me to go off on someone about that aspect of this business.

 

Personally, I suspect sometimes "I'm not feeling well" is code for I don't have the money to pay you, or I am not so horny anymore and don't want to connect, or I found someone else I'd rather hang with, or my husband/wife/partner isn't going to be gone like I thought they were, or maybe I am actually sick. I don't really care what the reason is because I like to mind my own business, and let others mind theirs - it's not my job to get to the bottom of things when someone cancels.

 

That said, if you are legit sick (or feeling like you might not have the money, or not certain if you want to go through with it) communicate as soon as you can. If you're uncertain, say so. "I feel like I might be getting sick with a cold. I don't want to get you sick on our appointment tomorrow night, but I'm not certain what this is. I'll check in tomorrow to let you know if I can keep the appointment." This sort of "heads up" goes a long way.

 

Also, I do not think it's necessary to pay for an appointment that you cancel unless the escort has or will incur costs. For example, if you were to see a show with the escort and he bought tickets, pay him for the cost of the tickets if you cancel.

 

I remember you having a bad trip to Boston. Where they kind enough to at least cancel in a polite way?

[marylander1940]

Wow just saw this post but his happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I had to cancel for legit reasons more than 24hrs in advance and he was NOT happy. Cursed me out and told me to never contact him again. It sucks because I had an awesome time with him a few weeks before

 

I understand the guy getting mad but not to someone who already hired him and was on his way to become repeat business now or later. Maybe there are other issues related to this and he overreacted.

[Islesguy]

This situation came up for me. The day before I was to see a hire that I had specifically flown to his city to see, I woke up with a scratchy throat. That's always the beginning of a "cold" for me. The whole day I was going back and forth in my mind whether to cancel or not. I booked an overnight length during the day and the day with him was the whole reason I took my trip.

 

As luck would have it, I missed his text as I decided to go to bed early hoping extra sleep might dissipate the potential "cold" and couldn't get ahold of him in the morning before I had to leave. I decided to go ahead with session and let him know that I was feeling rundown and that is rather stay in then do all the things we planned outside.

 

We ended up having a fantastic time (imo at least) and he was very accommodating to my reduced abilities. If was contagious (I rarely am when sick), he never mentioned getting sick when I told him I got home safely a couple of days later. He asked me to let him know how my flight home went.

[+ Reisr30]

I had a similar situation. I made an appointment and was stuck in a different city because of flight delays I wasn’t sure if i would come back in time. The companion flipped out on me even though it was over 24 hours and I was giving him a heads up that I might not be able to make it back home and meet him. It left such a bad taste in my mouth that even though I was able to make it home; I met him, paid him the full donation but cut the session short; essentially just met him to give him the donation. His reaction freaked me out so much I figured I would meet him to pay him to avoid any online drama. I will not meet him again. I am sure you all probably think that was dumb of me to do...

[harlow]

I understand the guy getting mad but not to someone who already hired him and was on his way to become repeat business now or later. Maybe there are other issues related to this and he overreacted.

I have no idea why he would flip out the way he did but the whole situation has me feeling some kind of way. On one hand I want to do some thing to try and “fix” the situation...then again maybe I should just avoid him all together in case he’s a little unstable. I mean we had a great time together earlier this month.

[harlow]

I had a similar situation. I made an appointment and was stuck in a different city because of flight delays I wasn’t sure if i would come back in time. The companion flipped out on me even though it was over 24 hours and I was giving him a heads up that I might not be able to make it back home and meet him. It left such a bad taste in my mouth that even though I was able to make it home; I met him, paid him the full donation but cut the session short; essentially just met him to give him the donation. His reaction freaked me out so much I figured I would meet him to pay him to avoid any online drama. I will not meet him again. I am sure you all probably think that was dumb of me to do...

I kinda feel like I should try and meet him again just to give him a donation to see if that would make things right for him or maybe I should just cut my losses and move on.