My Dinner with Reese

[GoldenGrill]

Just two weekends ago, I made a post that received a great deal of attention about an escort working under the name Reese. I recounted an unpleasant exchange I had with him, in which he used homophobic language and made reference to the AIDS epidemic. I subsequently shared that, upon seeing said post, Reese had reached out to me with an apology and attempted to explain his actions.

 

From there I took a step back from engaging further comments. While many of you were supportive, just as many were critical of my decision to share what I did, and it became clear that since I could contribute nothing further to the conversation that might sway the latter group to see my point of view, I was better off putting the whole thing behind me.

 

Reese, on the other hand, was not satisfied with where we stood. He would text me several more times in the days after his initial apology, insisting that there must be some way he could prove he wasn't the person his offending texts made him out to be. After some hesitation and much consideration, I agreed to meet him for dinner, his treat, when he got into town this week.

 

Reese and I did, in fact, have a bite to eat after I got off work today (his treat!), and what I worried would be an extremely uncomfortable outing ended up being one of the more overall positive experiences I've had in some time. For those to whom it is of interest, Reese is, indeed, a Big Guy. However, having now dined with him and spoken to him at length, I no longer believe him to be a muscle bully.

 

Do not misunderstand me: I feel just as strongly now as I did two weekends ago that the language Reese used is unacceptable. But I truly believe Reese would, and does, agree. He could have easily gone through the motions tonight - bought me dinner, said he was sorry and disappeared back into the city. Instead he made it clear he was interested, not only in having a dialogue, but in listening to what I had to say. He did a great deal to restore my faith in people, at a moment in our history where it is easy to abandon all hope. And for that, I thank him.

Edited November 22, 2018 by GoldenGrill

[+ nycman]

We all make mistakes.

 

Kudos to you for giving him a second chance.

I’m not sure I could have been that big of a man.

 

I’m impressed with you both.

[Happy4Life]

We all make mistakes. Hopefully he learns

[GTMike]

Just two weekends ago, I made a post that received a great deal of attention about an escort working under the name Reese. I recounted an unpleasant exchange I had with him, in which he used homophobic language and made reference to the AIDS epidemic. I subsequently shared that, upon seeing said post, Reese had reached out to me with an apology and attempted to explain his actions.

 

From there I took a step back from engaging further comments. While many of you were supportive, just as many were critical of my decision to share what I did, and it became clear that since I could contribute nothing further to the conversation that might sway the latter group to see my point of view, I was better off putting the whole thing behind me.

 

Reese, on the other hand, was not satisfied with where we stood. He would text me several more times in the days after his initial apology, insisting that there must be some way he could prove he wasn't the person his offending texts made him out to be. After some hesitation and much consideration, I agreed to meet him for dinner, his treat, when he got into town this week.

 

Reese and I did, in fact, have a bite to eat after I got off work today, and what I expected to be an extremely uncomfortable outing ended up being one of the more overall positive experiences I've had in quite a while. Reese is, indeed, a big guy, but I no longer believe him to be a muscle bully. He was as apologetic in person as he was over the phone, and he made no excuses for his conduct. He listened to what I had to say, a dialogue was had, and we enjoyed a lovely meal... his treat.

 

As I write this, I am fully aware that some will see it as hypocritical on my part. Don't misunderstand me: I feel no less strongly that the language used by Reese in his initial text messages is unacceptable. But having now met him face-to-space and spoken to him at length, I truly believe Reese agrees. Make of that what you will.

Congrats. That was brave and commendable of you to take a strong stance out of principle but then to also be able to at least listen to what you thought was a sincere attempt to make some sort of amends and then also to be able to relay with maturity the complexity of your entire experience with him.

[marylander1940]

Thank you @GoldenGrill for this wonderful the day before Thanksgiving!

[GoldenGrill]

Congrats. That was brave and commendable of you to take a strong stance out of principle but then to also be able to at least listen to what you thought was a sincere attempt to make some sort of amends and then also to be able to relay with maturity the complexity of your entire experience with him.

 

I appreciate that. I made some slight edits to the initial post after you quoted it - the sentiments are the same, but I wanted to let you know in the name of full disclosure!

[BabyBoomer]

Here's a link to his RM ad.

 

https://rentmen.eu/REESEISGOD

 

~Boomer~

[+ azdr0710]

Great post @GoldenGrill

 

But did he explain what made him use the homophobic terms at the time in the first place??

Edited November 22, 2018 by azdr0710

[LookingAround]

I think it was more brave on the part of Reese if I may say so. Here is somebody who had (deservingly) been called out online and crucified (deservingly) who took great initiative to make amends and talk and ask for forgiveness. I’m impressed with him!

 

You accepted and that’s nice of you. But I’m really impressed he took the initiative. Wow.

[GoldenGrill]

Great post @GoldenGrill

 

But did he explain what made him use the homophobic terms at the time in the first place?

 

I didn't ask him to explain himself again. He had given me one when he initially apologized via text. What's important to me, and what I wanted this post to convey, is that I believe he is not a hateful person.

[+ augustus]

Just as I posted on the other thread to FORGIVE him ! People say all kinds of things all the time. Unless it's a pattern, learn to forgive and not carry a chip on one's shoulder.

 

Glad to have been of such great help @GoldenGrill

Edited November 22, 2018 by augustus

[GoldenGrill]

Just as I posted on the other thread to FORGIVE him ! People say all kinds of things all the time. Unless it's a pattern, learn to forgive and not carry a chip on one's shoulder.

 

Glad to have been of such great help @GoldenGrill

 

I have to assume you're doing some kind of Tr*mp cosplay... I made plans to have dinner with Reese long before you left your unhinged comments in the other post.

[+ augustus]

I have to assume you're doing some kind of Tr*mp cosplay... I made plans to have dinner with Reese long before you left your unhinged comments in the other post.

 

Funny that....you never said anything on the other thread about plans to have dinner with Reese or that he was profusely sorry. I merely pointed out your failure to provide your own texts of this incident, i.e., we should all take your version of events as gospel. No dice.

 

I'm sure there's more to this incident than what you revealed.

[DMICS]

We all make mistakes.

 

Kudos to you for giving him a second chance.

I’m not sure I could have been that big of a man.

 

I’m impressed with you both.

 

Well said.

[builder boy]

Aa I said earlier that's not the man I knew And we all aren't perfect. Well done Reese.

[+ augustus]

I think it was more brave on the part of Reese if I may say so. Here is somebody who had (deservingly) been called out online and crucified (deservingly) who took great initiative to make amends and talk and ask for forgiveness. I’m impressed with him!

 

You accepted and that’s nice of you. But I’m really impressed he took the initiative. Wow.

 

I don't think Reese should have been called out online or crucified here. @GoldenGrill started that earlier thread out of spite. Firstly, he has no history at all with the guy. Then, he didn't post his own texts of this conversation. He could have said something equally despicable to Reese.

 

The doctored evidence alone means he shouldn't have revealed who the person was. It was an attempt to hurt him. This appalls me !

[marylander1940]

Great post @GoldenGrill

 

But did he explain what made him use the homophobic terms at the time in the first place??

 

Steroids?

 

I don't think Reese should have been called out online or crucified here. @GoldenGrill started that earlier thread out of spite. Firstly, he has no history at all with the guy. Then, he didn't post his own texts of this conversation. He could have said something equally despicable to Reese.

 

The doctored evidence alone means he shouldn't have revealed who the person was. It was an attempt to hurt him. This appalls me !

 

I think Gloria Allred made him do that...

 

Guys, what he said was homophobic and hurtful but he apologized and sometimes folks don't even do that... Let's move on, I will! I hope Reese learned to think before clicking send and he is also happy to have a beautiful body admired$ by gay men like us.

 

[GoldenGrill]

I don't think Reese should have been called out online or crucified here. @GoldenGrill started that earlier thread out of spite. Firstly, he has no history at all with the guy. Then, he didn't post his own texts of this conversation. He could have said something equally despicable to Reese.

 

The doctored evidence alone means he shouldn't have revealed who the person was. It was an attempt to hurt him. This appalls me !

 

I don't think you can get much lower than trolling a forum for gay johns.

[Beancounter]

Time for another candado from the powers that be.

[marylander1940]

Time for another candado from the powers that be.

 

Considering Reese apologized would the @GoldenGrill consider asking for the previous thread to be deleted?

 

I think he deserves a fresh start with a clean record. Of course it would be up to the powers to make the final decision.

[LivingnLA]

History is history and shouldn't be erased. Clear linkages should be made between the original and this thread so that anyone researching would see the historical record. Deleting history only dooms people to repeat it.

[Gymowner]

Agree livingnLA. You gays remind me of the battered woman who leaves her boyfriend yet when he takes her to dinner and says he is sorry, she moves back in with him. What a funny bunch of coconuts!

[Nick99]

Agree livingnLA. You gays remind me of the battered woman who leaves her boyfriend yet when he takes her to dinner and says he is sorry, she moves back in with him. What a funny bunch of coconuts!

“You gays”???!!!

[Gymowner]

"I hope Reese learned to think before clicking send and he is also happy to have a beautiful body admired$ by gay men like us."

 

Enough said.

[GoldenGrill]

@Gymowner, perhaps you can follow another example I set with my original post and not speak for others this Thanksgiving!