Should I take a job in Shanghai?

[Poincare]

Dear Friends:

 

I’m being offered to lead a division for my large multinational company (one of the biggest) for Asia based in Shanghai. It would be a promotion, opportunity to live in Asia which has been a dream since high school, and provide a very interesting professional experience. My partner cannot get a spousal dependent visa ( which are actually possible for Beijing and Hong Kong). But we have done long distance before and I think our 25 year relationship can handle it. He only works a few months a year in academia, so can visit me quite often.

 

I’m wondering about being an out and proud gay man for 30 years now and have to figure out how to be out in China with a large Asian team reporting up to me. I want to be my authentic self.

 

Open to thoughts or similar experiences.

 

Thanks in advance....

[samhexum]

[+ nycman]

Should I take a job in Shanghai?

 

No....next question please.

[+ Avalon]

Would you not be considered a legal resident?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_China#Beijing

 

"Beijing currently provides dependent residency status to the same-sex partners of legal residents, such as expats."

[Poincare]

Would you not be considered a legal resident?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_China#Beijing

 

"Beijing currently provides dependent residency status to the same-sex partners of legal residents, such as expats."

That is only for the district of Beijing. Not for all of China.

[+ Avalon]

That is only for the district of Beijing. Not for all of China.

 

Thank-you for the clarification.

[+ FreshFluff]

It's been your dream since high school? I'd definitely do it. Can you ask your multinational if they can help you get benefits for your partner outside of Beijing? From what I've heard, pulling strings can gets you very far in China.

[jgoo]

Lived there for five years and the highlight of my career and experiences overseas.

[+ Reisr30]

As long as the compensation/benefit ex-pat package is good including potentially assisting with tax preparation and you partner can visit often, I think it's exciting and would do it myself if presented the opportunity.

 

I always enjoyed living abroad.

[+ Avalon]

How long would you be there? Could your partner get some other type of visa say a travel one maybe that would need to be renewed ever so often? What about about a teaching job there?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

If this advances your career and there's future hope of another upwards (or at least sideways) move, go for it.

 

Shanghai is beautiful and in predominant ways, a very livable city. The metro is great (although, not as amazing as in Japan). The people are friendly.

 

Yes, you deal with some of the caveats that come with the Chinese government, but that's the way it is. Shanghai is, by far, the most Westernized city in China.

 

 

Take the promotion. Enjoy the adventure.

[GBoi]

Yes absolutely. Shanghai is an amazing city and has enough expats that it’s easy enough to live there even if you don’t speak Mandarin or Shanghainese. Make sure you get repatriation as part of your package.

[+ Charlie]

If it has always been a dream for you to live there, then do it. Yes, you will probably find it awkward and uncomfortable at times to be an out gay man in a culture that isn't very accepting of that, but you will be considered an outsider anyway, and your "idiosyncrasy" may very well be tolerated more in a foreigner than it would be in a native. I am assuming that your position there will have a time limit and not be permanent, and if you are like me, you may find that you have had enough of being an ex-pat in a much shorter time than you expect. Living in a foreign culture can be pretty tiring and stressful as well as stimulating, but never doing it would be a shame if it is something you really want to experience.

 

As for your partner, a strong relationship should be able to withstand long separations, as long as he isn't opposed to trying it in the first place. If the job is as attractive as you make it sound, you will probably have enough money to visit one another fairly regularly. Also, one can stay in constant touch so easily today through modern technology, unlike the times when I lived in another country from my partner for up to a year, when even a long distance phone call was a major operation, and written letters were often our only option for contact. We survived and grew through the experience.

[LoveNDino]

A good friend of mine resigned from Diageo rather than stay in Shanghai. It was also a promotion. They offered her more money but she couldn’t take it. She stayed 2 years...

[JohnGerman]

Absolutely should take it. I have first hand experience. Feel free to PM to discuss more.

[+ WilliamM]

A good friend of mine resigned from Diageo rather than stay in Shanghai. It was also a promotion. They offered her more money but she couldn’t take it. She stayed 2 years...

 

There are many other excellent choices in life other than just an advanced career lived mostly alone.

[RM]

My great grandfather worked in Shanghai. I don't know how much he liked it. He's buried there. You can visit his grave for me.

[JayCeeKy]

I’m wondering about being an out and proud gay man for 30 years now and have to figure out how to be out in China with a large Asian team reporting up to me. I want to be my authentic self.

 

If you are "out and proud" what is the question? How to hide being "out and proud" in China?

[Deadlift1]

You didn't say whether your spouse wanted you to take it.

[Poincare]

Very interesting perspectives and encouraging feedback. Thanks all....you guys are awesome.

[edjames]

Sounds like a dream assignment. You did not mention if this assignment came with a term/time limit (2,3 + years?). I say go for it. If indeed a dream of a lifetime to live and work in China then do it. I'm sure you and your partner will work out the details. I would not focus on being an "out, gay man' in China. First and foremost, be yourself, a professional businessman, a representative of your company and country. I would hate for you to, in later years, sit back back and have a "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moment.

Have fun. Enjoy the experience. Good luck.

[TruthBTold]

You might PM Tristan Baldwin. I am not sure if he has been to Shanghai or if it has been for that extended a time if he has. However, he does tour the Far East periodically so he might have some info.