The family-owned funeral home is a dying industry

[+ augustus]

I read in the news not long ago that about 55% of people are buried today, as opposed to 95% fifty years ago.  I see burials as a show of respect for the deceased.  

[+ jeezopete]

On 10/15/2022 at 7:06 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I saw a website where they plant a small tree in your ashes. I'm going that route.  Circle of life.

Along those lines, but a little different, I've been looking into "green burial" lately. Think that's the route I'll take.

"Natural, or ‘Green,’ Burial is a safe and environmentally friendly practice that allows the body to return to the soil naturally by using biodegradable materials, and avoiding vaults and toxic embalming fluids. Many cultures and faiths throughout the U.S. and around the world have always used Natural Burial. An increasingly common burial option, Natural Burial is perfectly legal and is offered in many cemeteries and memorial preserves across the country.
Conservation Burial takes this practice a step further by burying in a nature preserve rather than a conventional cemetery, and utilizing a portion of the burial fee to help permanently protect and maintain the natural environment. When you choose Conservation Burial, you make a positive environmental impact by securing habitat for wildlife, helping manage natural lands, or preserving habitat that is already rich in flora and fauna."

[+ nycman]

If I can’t have a funeral pyre…..I’m not going!

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/18/us/colorado-funeral-pyre.html

[samhexum]

The historic New Jersey funeral home where mobsters wound up after getting whacked in “The Sopranos” is facing a hit job itself.

The Irvine-Cozzarelli Memorial Home in Belleville — which was discussed and featured in numerous episodes of the HBO Mafia drama — could be demolished as part of a redevelopment plan recently approved by township officials.

It’s a controversial move, as the building on Washington Avenue where the storied business is located dates back to 1885 — and the local historical society doesn’t want to see it fitted for cement overshoes.

“The place has incredible potential,” Michael Perrone, president of the Belleville Historical Society, told the paper. “And so to tear that down, is just crazy, it’s just crazy.”

Viewers of the show will remember the elaborate interior, which was designed by late owner James J. Cozzarelli Jr., who started his funeral business there in 1972.

But since his death in 2021, his family has had little desire to keep it running as a funeral home. In other words, they want to fuggetaboutit?

“There’s nobody in the family who is a licensed funeral director that would be interested in buying [the business],” cousin Frank Cozzarelli told NJ.com nobody respects good, old-fashioned family traditions anymore, noting that limited on-site parking and the cost of needed upgrades have discouraged other funeral homes from purchasing the site.

“It’s a large, beautifully appointed home, and he took great pride in his ownership of it, and how he kept it,” he added.

“Unfortunately, time has passed and the property needs a great deal of maintenance, in addition to upgrades to current standards.”

The resolution that allows demolition of the site was approved 3-2 with two council members abstaining.

One of the abstaining members, Vincent Cozzarelli, is a distant relative of the late owner. Belleville Mayor Michael Melham voted for the resolution.Previously listed in 2014 for $1.8 million, the building is now under contract with Premier Developers LLC.

 

Depending on the results of the planning board’s evaluation, the site may be demolished for apartments as early as 2023.

 

The business was frequently seen and mentioned in “The Sopranos.”

In one famous scene, mobster Paulie Walnuts, played by the late Tony Sirico, warned against starting a gang war because “there could be a line at Cozzarelli’s a mile long.”

With that kind of history, Frank Cozzarelli admitted that it is difficult for his family to let go of the business.

“These are both emotional and heart-wrenching decisions,” he said.

“Our family’s so well-rooted in the town that we want to do something that’s fitting … as best as we can given the constraints of what James’ will says.”

The Irvine-Cozzarelli Memorial Home and the Belleville Historical Society did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

A Sopranos themed B&B seems like a natural fit if there's any parking at all.

[Rudynate]

The funeral home that took care of my mother's parents was in a small rural village in western New York and had been serving the family for decades.  The funeral director was on a first name basis with both my parents.  When we went to view my grandfather the day after he died, my mother didn't like the way his hair was combed.  She mentioned it to the funeral director and he got a comb and brush and rearranged my grandfather's hair to her satisfaction.

[samhexum]

For a recession and future-proofed career, consider the funeral trade

 

When Diana Smillie, 34, became an aesthetician in 2007, she heard a colleague discussing another type of clientele: the deceased.

“It sounded so interesting, so I always kept it in the back of my mind,” said the New Rochelle, NY, resident.

She later discovered that licensing was required. So, in 2010, Smillie pursued an associate degree at the American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service in Times Square. She did a required residency and passed a national board exam as well as state licensing for New York — and hasn’t looked back since.

Smillie was hired at Sisto & Paino funeral home in New Rochelle, where she met her husband, a funeral director. As spouses and co-workers, they find that having a supportive partner who understands the role is helpful. I wonder who'll play them in the heartwarming Hallmark Channel movie.

“You have to work holidays,” said Smillie. “People die 24/7.”

Smillie, who is now a funeral manager, has a diverse job with responsibilities ranging from collecting the deceased and meeting with families to embalming, restorative work, makeup and hairdressing on the deceased. She also sets up the chapel, drives the hearse and coordinates with cemeteries and places of service. makes for an interesting resume

For Smillie, the role is rewarding. “It was a calling — I can’t imagine doing anything else. I enjoy making the person look good for their family and know how important that is for them to have one last moment where they can see their loved one looking peaceful.”

Every day is different. “You can have a few days where you’re doing nothing. Then, all of the sudden, six people will die within two hours, and it’s insanity,” she explained.

Flexibility and responsiveness are key, along with a strong disposition — funeral workers are hands-on with dead bodies and must be prepared for tragic situations.

However, the field is recession-proof and offers job security and expansion. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Outlook Handbook, the industry’s projected growth is faster than average, with an annual median salary of $74,000 for funeral home managers.

Requirements encompass specialized education (typically earning an associate degree in funeral or mortuary sciences from an accredited institution), completing a residency and passing the national exam and state licensing — followed by continuing education credits to maintain licensing. Most graduates take the national board exam — it’s recognized by all states, but isn’t mandatory in every one.

Robert C. Smith III is the executive director of the American Board of Funeral Service Education, the national academic accreditation agency for college and university programs in funeral service and mortuary science education, based out of Woodbury Heights, NJ. He said accredited schools must cover the appropriate curriculum including “embalming, funeral directing, funeral service law, ethics and some sociology, psychology and counseling.” Jeffrey Dahmer's dream job

“When we hear from students, one of the first things we say is, ‘Have you talked to funeral directors? Have you really done your homework to find out what kind of tasks you’ll be expected to perform, or is it a perception that you have, that this is what you want to do?’” said Smith, who saw an uptick in 2021 enrollment. I wonder if that's due more to the 2021 economy, or people becoming increasingly aware of death & dying during covid.

“We emphasize you have to get that understanding. It’s not an occupation or profession that’s for everybody. [It requires] people that have the right skill set, the right mindset, the ability to deal with people in an effective manner, to be compassionate, to be empathetic — that’s absolutely crucial.”

Education and licensing are ultimately critical to advancing, but so are flexing empathy chops and maintaining your own wellness. It’s critical to preserve mental health both on and off the clock while keeping professionalism intact at work.

Licensed clinical psychologist Yesel Yoon, Ph.D., who has a private practice on the Upper West Side, recommends funeral workers use rituals — such as taking a walk — to mark the end of each workday, so you don’t bring grief home with you, and to maintain professionalism with empathy without becoming mentally drained.

“These rituals provide that sense of closure as well as affording us just a little extra bit of time between your work hours and the time you can pivot to your home life,” Yoon said.

“Make sure you are not isolated and are finding supportive people who can normalize and support the work you do.”

William Villanova, 52, has been president of the Frank E. Campbell Funeral Chapel since 2018. Founded in 1898, the NYC funerary institution is headquartered in a 17,000-square-foot space on the Upper East Side.

According to him, funeral directors need to be willing to help, often providing a shoulder to cry on.

“They understand exactly what they need to provide the family, but they don’t become a mourner,” he said. “Sometimes you think about it afterward, and you do get a little choked up. There are times when there are services for untimely deaths and you cannot help but feel that. Or maybe you go home at night, and you look at your family and say, ‘I’m so blessed.’”

Villanova came into the industry more than 30 years ago through a connection with his godfather, who owned two funeral homes. Working part-time after school, weekends and other days off, he started cutting the lawns, trimming hedges and parking cars. Similar to Smillie, he pursued his mortuary science degree at McAllister and worked his way up in the industry.

Ultimately, Villanova believes that prioritizing the families using your services is the key to succeeding in this high-touch role.

“This is a profession that is very unique,” he said. “On our crest, the Latin underneath says ne obliviscaris — never forget. That’s the dialogue with new employees. Never forget this is our sacred obligation. This family coming through the door today has never experienced this before. We have the ability to make a difference in this family’s life today. We are devoted to the sacred obligation with dignity, honor and respect.”

 

My apartment building has a wall like this in our lobby.

https://nypost.com/2022/10/30/for-a-recession-proofed-career-consider-the-funeral-trade/

 

[samhexum]

On 10/11/2018 at 3:58 PM, Chuckball said:

Increasing in popularity is green burial where there is no embalming and burial is in a body wrapped in a shroud.

 

On 10/11/2018 at 6:34 PM, MasssageGuy said:

The biodegradable burial pod that turns your body into a tree. I plan on doing this when my time comes.

 

On 6/1/2019 at 1:59 AM, sincitymix said:

this is how i want to be buried. my mother has expressed similar interest.

 

On 10/15/2022 at 7:06 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I saw a website where they plant a small tree in your ashes. I'm going that route.  Circle of life.

 

On 10/17/2022 at 4:43 PM, jeezopete said:

Along those lines, but a little different, I've been looking into "green burial" lately. Think that's the route I'll take.

Washington became the first state to legalize human composting in 2019. Colorado and Oregon followed suit in 2021 and Vermont and California in 2022.

Edited January 1, 2023 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[+ Charlie]

I went to high school with the son of the owners of the only family-owned funeral home in our town. Most of us thought he was kind of creepy. He did eventually take over the business.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

My husband worked in the funeral industry for a number of years, and I got roped in to help out sometimes.

 

It does take a special calling - you have to be great with people.

 

Sadly here in Australia many of the family run companies are being bought out by a big American company called Invercare.  They buy a business - then insist on the name remaining, so people think they are still family owned.  It is just one big production line.  Often the arranger who meets with you is not at the funeral service, so nothing seems to work .  

Its very poor customer service, but would work very well at keeping costs down and making profit 

 

 

[samhexum]

How one indie funeral home in Greenpoint is trying to repackage death

 

After two decades in video production, where her clients included fashion and cosmetics brands, Erica Hill did something radical in November 2021: She opened a funeral home in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

It wasn’t just a career-180 for Hill; it was an unusual move, period. Funeral homes have been declining in numbers in New York and nationwide for decades.

“If you had told me 10 years ago that this is what I’d be doing, I’d tell you you were absolutely insane,” said Hill, one morning last month in her funeral home, called Sparrow.

“I have no interest in dying,” she said, “but I've had enough loss in my life that it's just unfortunately a reality and every single person on this earth is gonna die.” (Damn! No spoiler alert?!?)

story continues...

https://gothamist.com/news/how-one-indie-funeral-home-in-greenpoint-is-trying-to-repackage-death

 

 

[samhexum]

New Jersey funeral home left dead dad's ashes in unlocked, running car that was stolen by teens

 

A New Jersey funeral home left a dead man’s ashes in an unlocked — and running — car that was then stolen from outside the building, a new lawsuit filed by the deceased’s family alleges.

After 62-year-old Walter Garcia, 62, (let me make sure I've got this right-- he was 65 [NOT elderly!], right?) died  his wife and daughter paid the Macagna-Diffily Funeral Home in Cliffside Park to host a memorial service and then cremate his body.

The service and cremation were held two days later.

Afterward, the funeral home told the family they’d be contacted to pick up Garcia’s ashes in three days.

But a week later they still had not heard from Macagna-Diffily. Garcia’s daughter decided to go to the funeral home to inquire about her father’s remains. 

“At that time, she was advised that decedent’s ashes had been left in an unlocked and running car which had been stolen,” the suit claims. The car had been parked in the driveway of the funeral home’s property.

The next day, the funeral home called Garcia’s daughter and said the car had been recovered but did not know about the ashes, according to the suit.

The family soon heard from police that although the car had been located, there were no ashes found inside.

“Leaving a running, open luxury vehicle is an invitation for something like this to happen,” the family’s Jersey-City-based attorney John Nulty told NJ.com. “The family feels like they lost their father twice.” (once, literally)

 

Video allegedly shows the funeral home vehicle unlocked when it was stolen by teenagers, according to the suit. The key fob had also been left inside of the vehicle, the family says it learned.

The Garcia family alleges in the suit that funeral home owner Anthony Macagna was “in possession of and/or transporting” the ashes when the vehicle was stolen.

They are suing Macagna and the funeral home for intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of contract, and breach of duty for failure to return the ashes to the family.

Nulty said the teenagers who jacked the car likely dumped Garcia’s ashes out of the vehicle.

 

[ICTJOCK]

We have a number of family owned funeral homes here in Kansas.  I see them all the time and have had family members a part of one.    Interesting,  but I would agree,  I can see why this tradition would also be in decline.

[TorontoDrew]

It's really too bad they aren't as prevalent anymore.  The service was so good.

I come from a smaller town and went my parents passed we just told the hospital to call Andy (who everyone knew ran the funeral home).  When I called him in the morning he had already picked them up and asked me when I'd be in to make arrangements.

When my mother in-law passed I dealt with a chain here in the city.  They were nice but not the same experience.